That Mitchell and Webb Format
That Mitchell and Webb Touch
This preceded both the TV and radio show, and it took for its inspiration the ITV police drama The Gentle Touch. In it Rob played a female detective juggling the demands of her son, her career and her hair while fighting against the institutional sexism of the police in the early eighties, played by David. It all took place under a heavy tarpaulin in Chippenham, and the idea was that instead of watching the programme the audience should feel it through special holes. People called it "warm" and "surprisingly hard hitting", but the show ended midway through series two when a critic from the Spa Gazette and Herald was badly bitten on what he described as his "middle upper thigh". Neither David nor Robert have ever admitted responsibility.
That Mitchell and Webb Taste
This is a traditional thick-crusted pie containing cooked pork in a rich jelly. The pie consists of three knock out rounds where contestants have to complete a well known phrase against the clock to score points and a chance of going head to head in the "ham run" where they could win a holiday. There are some elements of the format that aren't yet working, but we're confident this will soon be available from all good bakers or on BBC Three, depending on which way we go with it.
That Mitchell and Webb Smell
This has undertones of custard with grace notes of leotard, old tweed jackets and a slightly-frightening clown (might not sound like a smell, but you'd recognise it if you inhaled it). It also contains a significant quantity of bee pheromones, so should not be smelled out doors, or near bees indoors, or if you are a bee with a restraining order. Sadly the BBC Olfactory Network doesn't yet cover all of the UK, so if you live in low-lying areas of Cornwall or the ocean-facing side of the Isle of Skye I hope you enjoy That Mitchell and Webb Smell, and do please describe it to everyone else from the rest of the country whenever they mention Freeview.
That Mitchell and Webb Umami
This is our most recent format. It's work in progress but it will probably use monster puppets voiced by David and Robert intercut with a man in a cave shouting "Why Alison, why?" but you'll just have to wait and see. Meanwhile why not add a spoonful of umami to home-made soups if you want them to taste like they came from a massive chemical plant in Beijing?
I hope you'll agree that this is an exciting range of ways to experience David and Robert, and if you don't then I don't really know what you expect me to do about it.
Finally, for the tie-break please complete in eleven words or more or less the phrase "I didn't think this was a competition because..."
Gareth Edwards is Producer of That Mitchell and Webb Look, which continues on Tuesdays at 9pm on BBC Two. Keep an eye on this blog for any news on That Mitchell and Webb Taste, Smell or Umami.