Hello from Henry 8.0
I think the trouble with ebuy started when I decided to sell my "Ten Step Fat Attack" DVD. I shifted it in the first day to some bunter in the west country who'd been a little over-enthusiastic with the doughnuts, but I forgot to remove the item from my "For Sale" inventory. When I sold it again the following morning I thought I could improvise a solution and thus greatly increase my profit margin. It turns out that a print-out of a Mr Motivator routine is not deemed as useful in the fat-fighting stakes as the DVD was and I was promptly cussed to within an inch of my online membership. Some nerdy git with a face like a slapped arse even dared to write that from the look of my avatar I should maybe have kept the DVD and used it myself to lessen the considerably porky chops I was sporting. I believe he is inciting a 'flame war' which in my book means he's practically asking me to have him burnt at the stake.
So the problem of buying and selling through this pox-ridden site remains. And it's such a shame since I recently discovered that I own the rights to St James' Park in central London. Apparently I bought it as a hunting ground way back when. If I could only pop that online with a tag of, say, a couple of million, it would keep us both in Vienettas and Ladyshaves for a good long while - with enough left over for an Xbox.
More pieces of 8.0
Pieces of 8.0
A sneak preview of what you can expect from the recently rediscovered king.
The Book of Faces
Henry gets into a spot of bother with the King of France on Facebook.
Brian Blessed plays King Henry 8.0 in our new web-exclusive series. Watch more every Thursday on Comedy Extra.
Henry 8.0 is written by Mark Davison and Glen Long and is a Monkey production for BBC Comedy.