Review of the week
Snow on the ground, reports of a secret Christmas party, Rage Against The Machine heading for their traditional Christmas number one - yep, it's finally beginning to feel festive.
As I hit the sack on Thursday night, I felt sure I'd be awoken by 6am shouts of 'Daddy, can we build a snowman?!' but alas the predicted overnight flurries failed to materialise and I was left trying to answer a few awkward questions, all beginning with the word 'Why?'
Although perhaps not as awkward as the atmosphere at Tottenham's training ground, following allegations in The Sun that a few of the players had flown to Dublin for a knees-up, cunningly disguised as a golf trip.
Not surprisingly, the story was peppered with words like 'shame', 'wild' and 'embarrassment' - despite there being no suggestions of any impropriety during the "audacious plot planned with military precision".
On Friday, Harry Redknapp was quoted as saying: "I don't think my players would take the liberty of having (a Christmas party) without asking me first" - two days after they got back from their alleged jolly.
Paul Hart is the latest arrival at Loftus Road
Harry's clearly not a fan of the drinking culture but my favourite comment of his on the subject came earlier this year when he said: "If you have to get drunk, you shouldn't be drinking." How else are you supposed to do it?
If you want a proper chuckle, come on down to Loftus Road - home of the ex-factor. I've got nothing against Paul Hart but I wasn't exactly doing cartwheels when I heard the news that he'd become our ninth boss in two years.
I'm going to stick my neck out and say he will still be in charge come Christmas - although I wouldn't put my mortgage on it. In the meantime I'll do what I do every few months and give the new man my full support - after all, a good Hart these days is hard to find.
Over in the Premier League, the top dogs were behaving like they'd been asked to dance by a woman with a face like a blind cobbler's thumb. After you. No, after you.
First you had Chelsea being held at home by Everton, only for Manchester United to slip up against Villa. Arsenal then closed the gap by beating Liverpool, but couldn't repeat the trick at Burnley as the top two returned to winning ways.
The most controversial result of the week involved United's 3-0 defeat of Wolves reserves, as Mick McCarthy rang more changes than a campanology workshop. McCarthy insisted he was doing it for the good of the club, although the chants of "we want our money back" from the travelling faithful suggested the fans thought otherwise.
Sir Alex Ferguson was predictably quick to back McCarthy - and you can bet he would have been just as gracious had Mick tried the same trick against Chelsea. While if Arsenal had left Turf Moor with all three points, would Arsene Wenger have even given the matter a second thought? I think that's what they call a rhetorical question.
To complete a topsy-turvy week, Liverpool did the unthinkable and actually WON. Yes it was 'only' Wigan and yes they still gave themselves a late scare, but win they did - and I'd like to add my personal thanks as it has visibly eased the tension in our flat. At least one of our teams finally has something to smile about.
Rafa Benitez, to his credit, has kept his pecker up throughout the mini-crisis and while his insistence after every setback that 'the season starts here' began to resemble a stand-up routine, he laid his cards firmly on the table on Wednesday when he 'guaranteed' Liverpool would finish in the top four. And as we all know, Rafa deals only in Facts.
Let's hope for his sake that it doesn't come back to bite him - a thought that may have crossed Wayne Rooney's mind when he earned a yellow card for tumbling to the ground against Villa, after being taken out by an imaginary forcefield. In September this year, you may remember, he stated: "I have never intentionally tried to dive."
But it was all smiles for team-mate Ryan Giggs, albeit nervous ones, as he was voted BBC Sports Personality of the Year.
The 36-year-old looked as comfortable as a vegetarian in a kebab shop as he muttered his thanks, and while you could argue the award was more a reflection of his lifetime achievements, in this age of the pampered, preening player, it was nice to hear a bit of genuine humility.
Meanwhile Giggsy's former team-mate Phil Neville admitted he was enjoying the high life as he talked about his luxury apartment one floor from the top of Manchester's 554ft Beetham Tower. "On our first Christmas here we looked out and we were above the clouds - amazing," he drooled.
Phil Neville
All well and good, but it's a hell of a round-trip if you want to take your kids for a kickabout. And it's certainly a step up from Nev's last place but I bet he's secretly missing the Versace kitchen and those monogrammed gates.
Talking of class, nice comment from Carlton Cole, who revealed he used to smuggle in tomato sauce to England gatherings because the pasta menu dreamed up by Fabio Capello was too bland. Perhaps not the best timing as the boss mulls over his World Cup squad - if I were a betting man I'd say Carlton has had his chips.
The West Ham striker has scored some spectacular goals in his time but even he is unlikely to get close to the stunner from Maynor Figueroa for Wigan at Stoke. The Honduran defender's free-kick flew in from fully 60 yards and already looks to have the goal of the season award in his sky rocket.
Headline of the week came from the New of the World's exclusive back-page splash about a group of 'Far-East businessmen' putting together a billion-dollar bid to buy Manchester United. 'Chinese Takeaway' screamed the banner, but it was only once you'd got a few paragraphs in that the paper revealed the alleged consortium were actually based in...Bangkok.
Name of the week came with the news that Wigan were running the rule over Chilean striker Waldo Ponce, while the story of the week had to be the parrot owned by Wayne Rooney's in-laws. Apparently the Manchester United striker taught the African Grey to repeat his son's name, Kai Wayne Rooney, and now it won't say anything else.
'A pal' said: "It's driving everybody around the bend. No-one knows how to stop it." Sounds like a case for the Monty Python team.
I am a journalist with BBC Sport, dealing with the more offbeat stories doing the rounds. I am a QPR fan - and also quite fond of football. If our new-found wealth brings success I'll be happy to tell anyone exactly where I was when we were sh... rubbish - row J seat 139. 
~RS~q~RS~~RS~z~RS~42~RS~)
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"It's driving everybody around the bend. No-one knows how to stop it."
Give him a chocolate bar, a can of pop and tell him to sit quietly in the corner.
Alternatively, get rid of the parrot.
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Well,I hope Paul Hart gets a fair crack at QPR.He was poorly treated by Pompey,and deserves a chance.I don't know what happened with Jim Magilton.He didn't do badly with my lot(or yours)Hope he gets a job again.Think yourself lucky Chris,I've got to put up with Roy Keane...
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Good blog once again Chris!
A few interesting points this week... What will be done (if anything) to Wolves & Mick McCarthy, Spurs players possible punishments, How will Hart do with your beloved R's...
I hope Rangers pick it up and push for promotion though
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Best blog of the week as always.
Cheers Chris, and I was just as shocked as you when Liverpool won midweek, I expect we'll resume normal service tomorrow away to Pompey!
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Decent blog, I guess having a sense of humour is a must for a fan of QPR. :)
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Cheers for all the comments thus far. Must confess I've been struggling with the old man flu today and didn't think the blog was up to the usual sub-standard. Not sure if they'll be another before the Christmas period but we have plenty to keep you entertained with our end-of-decade bonanza.
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On behalf of RBA(half day today,apparently)I'd like to say....
Good luck to everyone's teams
except yours
you know who you are
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Might have been tactically astute to have left room after paragraph two for a late insertion of thoughts about the Champions League draw. You would have been first off the mark, and that would have ushered in a flurry of business.
Nonetheless, a good, entertaining read, with an element of the oriental included to add to the amusement. The picture of Phil Neville, with his Chang sponsored Everton shirt, makes you realise that, had Wayne Rooney not made the switch to MU, he could have given his son a Chang Kai Cheque for Christmas.
Enjoy the festive season, Chris. I look forward to the next Review of the Wok.
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Ponce is a defender
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"If you have to get drunk, you shouldn't be drinking."
I think the emphasis is on the "Have to". The point he is making is if you have an over-riding compulsion to drink then you need to get help!
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If I write to Jim'll Fix It, do you think I could be QPR manager for a day? Good luck to Paul Hart - I imagine he's calculating what his severance package will be already; speaking of which, maybe if the club stopped sacking amanagers and paying them compensation, they could afford to put a bid in for Frank Ribery.
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Evening Chris.
Good stuff as always, loved the Feargal Sharkey connection. (You'll have to google that one kids.)
Nice to hear that your partners feeling better after a rare L'pool win, here's a vid to cheer you up and bring her back down to earth;
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rrw4IlKRPmc
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12 H2H
Now THAT is good. And, as you imply, Chris is a helluva fella, and his wife needs something to bring her back to earth.
The "Feargal Sharkey connection"? Hard to find.
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Zoot.
"The "Feargal Sharkey connection"? Hard to find."
You have to search in the Undertones of the blog.
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It wouldn't surprise me if Bentley organised the "golf trip" i've not seen anything about the story incase it does say who planned it but it just seems something he'd do! Wish Young organised something for the Villa lads before they came to OT!
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'"If you have to get drunk, you shouldn't be drinking." How else are you supposed to do it?'
#10. 'I think the emphasis.. '
The actual point he is making is that if you drink to get drunk, and not to just simply drink, then you shouldn't be drinking (because of the repercussions that come with getting drunk).
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@ Holloway2Holland
Great vid. A bit harsh on Liverpool but at times like these we need to preserve some sense of humour and self-irony.
Also I'm wondering now that our season has finally started what will Rafa say shall we win at Pompey? That it's firing on all cylinders? =)
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Silly me! That was just another false start. A bit reminiscent of Hedgehog Day. :(
Still our season may get started - again! - next week and be effectively over three days later at Villa.
P. S. I know Liverpool fans don't turn their back on their manager, but lately I've been thinking a lot about someone with a better club record. Someone slightly more special ;)
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Doesn't anyone remember the final day of last season when Man United played Hull? Hull were still fighting to stay up. They still lost their matches, but imagine how livid Middlesbrough and Newcastle were to see the Man United line up.
P.S. Man United team, May 24, 2009:
Kuszczak, Neville, Brown, de Laet (Possebon), Rafael (Eckersley), Fletcher, Nani, Gibson, Martin, Welbeck (Tosic), Macheda
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To Chris Charles, Chris Charles and, quite possibly, Chris Charles,
Many thanks for making the way home a little brighter on a Friday, and all best wishes for sustained inspiration into the New Year. Perhaps you might want to throw in the 'missing Review' from the World Cup draw week as a belated present?
A very Happy Christmas to all the Chris Charles's who just happen to be supporters of the most humorous club in football.
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Villa Review : Much more than 3 nil to the Arsenal http://kaijaet.notlong.com
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