Quotes of the week
"I can shake hands with who I want."
Arsene Wenger defends his decision not to touch gloves with Mark Hughes following Arsenal's 3-0 League Cup defeat to Manchester City.
"At one point he questioned why I was over on his side of the technical area. He may have been a little bit aggrieved by that, but I would suggest he was more aggrieved that his team got beat."
Hughes suggests his opposite number was simply a bad loser. Surely not?
"I don't deny that I'm a bad loser but I would have done exactly the same if we had won or lost."
Then again...Wenger states his case.
"Against Stoke I mark my 500th game and I believe I have shaken hands 497 times."
And the Arsenal boss backs it up with figures.
"This situation is my fault, and it's obviously embarrassing to my family and me. I'm human and I'm not perfect."
If Tiger Woods isn't perfect, what hope for the rest of us?
"I probably would have to apologise to her and hope she uses a driver next time rather than a three-iron, I would say."
Jesper Parnevik, who introduced Woods to his wife Elin Nordregen, reacts to press speculation surrounding the circumstances of the player's accident.
United's golden oldies
"He's an exceptional player. A rarity. He will play for two years yet. Happy birthday. He's had it 36 times in his life, wait until he gets to 67. I think he'll be retired by then."
Sir Alex Ferguson on the evergreen Ryan Giggs.
"Everybody knows what happens when you go over to Europe and that's why I
would never go over there."
Bernard Hopkins gets his continents confused while reflecting on Roy Jones' defeat to Danny Green - in Australia.
"We'll have a board of directors and we'll have board meetings - and we'll do what I want."
Barry Hearn goes all Brian Clough after becoming chairman of snooker's WPBSA.
"Any more matches like that and it will be me having heart surgery next!"
Blackburn number two Neil McDonald after steering his side to victory over Chelsea in the Carling Cup while Sam Allardyce recovered from heart surgery.
"Bobby Moore was a national hero...they are all legends and that's what we would emulate. If we did...well, the West Ham fans might even forgive me everything! Maybe they'd claim me back as one of their own."
Lampard on the possibility of a Hammers love-in if England win the World Cup. Dream on, son.
"I met Fabio (Capello) in the hotel when we arrived and we sat down and had a beer together. We would like to meet again, just before we play the final on July 11."
Italy coach Marcello Lippi puts his soothsayer's hat on ahead of the World Cup draw.
"This guy is a good guy, let me tell you."
Sepp Blatter gushes over David Beckham.
"Sepp Blatter knows more about football than anyone I have ever met."
And Becks is happy to reciprocate.
How will we cope without them?
"I've a mate who for the past three years has taken his pals to the USA for a golf tournament against American pals. They have had a great time - the golf was great and the lads got on well. They took the wives this year and it was a disaster. All the wives had an argument and I think it's been cancelled for next year."
Harry Redknapp on why he's glad the WAGs won't be out in force at the World Cup.
"I told him he's lucky the Christmas DVDs are out already!"
Doncaster midfielder John Oster after opponent Neil Danns missed a sitter for Crystal Palace.
AND SOME FROM YOU
"They played some good football and we matched them for around 90 minutes, but it was a 10-minute spell that killed us."
Steve Tilson after Southend's 3-0 defeat to Norwich. How long was this game, Steve?!
(Harold Harrison, UK).
"The Premier League can be fickle. You can lose a few games and rocket down the table, and at the same time you can win a few and rocket up the table. We're delighted to be in the former category."
Alex McLeish, commenting after Birmingham beat Wigan.
(Libby Curran, USA).
"Some people say that Peter Crouch only performs against the small teams. But to be fair, all the teams look small to him.
Commentary during the Man Utd-Spurs Carling Cup tie.
(Libby Curran, USA).
"I'm not sure if they're rugby fans, but I am, that's why I took them. They didn't have a choice!!"
Roy Keane after taking his Ipswich team to the Wales-Australia game.
(bow4fowler).
"I don't care if he's rubbish or not, he's going to get a contract because having someone playing for us with Leonardo on his back would be brilliant."
Caretaker boss Les Parry confirms that young Brazilian midfielder Leonardo can expect an easy trial at Tranmere.
(Dan Brown, Wirral).
"Meanwhile, £200m people across the globe are expected to watch Friday's World Cup draw."
From Friday's Gossip page. I knew everyone has a price but this is too much, eh?
(Abhay, India - and just about everybody else).
"This is not a must-win game for Portsmouth, it's a game they must win."
5 live Commentator during the build up to Portsmouth v Burnley (isn't that a must win game, then?)
(Jack Collier, Nottingham).
"A typical December afternoon - cold, wet and if you're Gary Megson...miserable."
MOTD commentary on Wolves v Bolton.
(David, England).
"The Top four are the top four and have always been the top four."
Peter Crouch on ESPN before the Villa-Spurs game.
(HornetRobin).
"That's an arrow from Fletcher!"
Alan Smith after Darren Fletcher scored for United against Portsmouth. Arrow... Fletcher, geddit? Took me a while as well.
(Oops, managed to delete your name by mistake - sorry).
"His work-rate never wanes".
Mike Phelan on Wayne Rooney, MSN Sport.
(Tont, UK).
Hughes and Wenger - best of enemies
"It's a ceremonial courtesy but the most important is not the ceremonial but the courtesy of behaviour."
Arsene Wenger on his refusal to shake hands with Mark Hughes after the Gunners' Carling Cup defeat.
(Tommy, Namibia).
"The ref held his hands up and admitted his error. He quickly changed his decision ... but Chris was well off the park by then. It was freezing out there so I don't blame him."
St Mirren goalkeeper Paul Gallagher reveals why team-mate Chris Innes was so willing to accept being wrongly sent off.
(Dan Brown, Wirral).
"Arsene Wenger needs to buy new players - and expensive ones too. Why? Because all the talented and inexpensive players are already with us at Arsenal."
Andrey Arshavin on the need to splash the cash.
(Rich, England).
"He looks like a caveman, doesn't he?" (no response from co-commentator). "I meant that as a compliment, of course..."
Comments during Sky Sports coverage of El Clasico in reference to Carlos Puyol...how exactly is that a compliment?
(DJ, UK).
"...and Heskey, after warming up, seems to have gone down the tunnel"
"Yeah, he's just heard the pies are half-price."
Superb commentary from the 5 live team at Villa v Spurs.
(Lewis, England).
"Well we've got a bit of Magners and a bit of Heineken and then it will be February"
Brian O'Discroll after Ireland beat South Africa. The Irish certainly know how to celebrate!
(RFD, UK).
"Well it's obvious the Kettering defenders aren't as much on the Atkins diet as the Ron Atkinson diet."
Commentators on ITV for the Kettering-Leeds FA Cup replay.
(tbowyer)
CHANTS OF THE WEEK
Is Scharner looking for a move to Barnet?
"Your Mum is a badger!"
Spurs fans to Wigan's Paul Scharner, with reference to his half-blond, half-black hair. (spursfandan). A little late - but well worth including! Ed
Barnet fans: "1-0 to the Barnet boys!"
Bournemouth fans: "1-0 to the referee!"
Barnet fans: "Referee, referee referee...sign him up, sign him up, sign him up!!"
(Jake, England).
"Say hello to Oxford!"
Swindon fans ask Wrexham to pass on their regards to their old rivals in the Blue Square Premier.
(Mike, Stockport, England).
"You only sing when you're drawing".
Kettering fans to Leeds after the League One leaders equalised in the FA Cup replay.
(saintjammyswine)
"There's only one Gordon Ramsay."
Oldham fans to Delia Smith and the Norwich fans.
(Mark, UK).
"England's number one"
Barnet fans to Jake Cole after he saved Brett Pitman's penalty in the draw between Barnet and Bournemouth.
(Kenny Lomas, England).
"Alcorcon! Alcorcon! Alcorcon!"
Barca fans at El Clasico, saluting the Division B side that put Real out of the Copa del.
(Paul, Ukraine).
"Shoot!"
Manchester United fans to Darron Gibson, whenever and wherever he had the ball, after scoring two goals against Spurs in the Carling Cup tie.
(Maria, USA).
STADIUM ANNOUNCEMENTS OF THE WEEK
"We're looking for the two best slappers"
Half-time in Adelaide v Newcastle, looking for people in the crowd with toy clackers.
(Tim, Australia).
"A message for Bournemouth fans, from Becky to Steve: It's been two years, and she still loves you."
Heard on the tannoy at half-time of the Barnet-Bournemouth match on Tuesday.
(Lucy Waldon, Essex).
"Substitution for Huddersfield..."
The announcer at Tranmere v Aldershot as the Shots made their final substitution.
(Dan Brown - Wirral).
"Sign up today for your free chlamydia test for your chance to win an iPod shuffle. And remember, if you haven't had the test, keep your tackle in your pants."
Heard at Scunthorpe-Leicester.
(Gareth Conway, UK).
Add any funny quotes/chants/announcements you have heard to the bottom of this blog - or use the email postform.
I am a journalist with BBC Sport, dealing with the more offbeat stories doing the rounds. I am a QPR fan - and also quite fond of football. If our new-found wealth brings success I'll be happy to tell anyone exactly where I was when we were sh... rubbish - row J seat 139. 
~RS~q~RS~~RS~z~RS~42~RS~)
Comments
Sharner looks like Cruella DeVil's love child!!
No dog jokes needed!!
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Yay I made onto the page! Wenger has been at his best recently.
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Heard Gary Richardson (I think) on Radio 4 this morning: "Watford have moved up into the playoff places with a 3-1 win over Watford". Sounds like QPR didn't turn up last night!
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The Leeds-Kettering replay takes place this evening! People seem to know more than I do. Just nipping off to the bookies to put money on Kettering first goal and a Leeds equaliser.
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My wife wanted me to go to the climate change march. I wish I'd gone now as the West Ham defence certainly doesn't look saveable.....We never looked a threat and when Michael Carrick came on, we made him look like Franz Beckenbauer. Pete May, HammersintheHeart in Sunday 6th Dec Observer. Perhaps Pete should wear Claret and Green from now on!
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Hermann Hreidarsson on Pompey's recent form, "We've been playing football, creating chances and not picking up points. That's pointless."
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Aberdeen fans to Celtic fans at Celtic Park on saturday
'Thierry Henry! Thierry Henry! Thierry Henry! Thierry Henry!'
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Aberdeen fans to Celtic fans at Celtic Park on saturday
'Where's your famous atmosphere?'
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"I don't feel Ricky Hatton should fight any more. It's crazy, you've only got to look at the size of him. Maybe he could get himself down to the weight, but one thing's for sure, his reflexes and his legs are gone."
Frank Warren expressing his concerns about Hattons size. I think most people would struggle for size with no legs!
Dave, Bristol
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Some bloke emailed sky after the Wenger-Hughes situation saying maybe French men just don't know when to use their hands anymore!
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Southampton fans singing at Walsall during yet another 3-1 away win to the tune of jingle bells...
...jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way, oh what fun it is to see southampton win away...
Thought it was good enough for a mention on here...
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"Who needs Robinho? We've got Lloydinho" after Lloyd Doyley's 1st ever goal for Watford v QPR...
and
"Shoooooot" before the goal, much louder every time he got the ball after it!
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Watford v Newcastle
"Where's your famous atmosphere?" because their fans were almost silent until the late second goal.
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EUROPE
Olympiakos v Arsenal
Preview followed by live coverage of Wednesday's game between Olympiakos and Liverpool in the Champions League. - BBC website
Umm - who exactly are Olympiakos playing again?
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"They [Kettering] will feel they've lost if they lose."
A gem from Tuesday's FA Cup commentary.
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BBC headline, right now:
A Michael Owen hat-trick helps injury-hit Manchester United beat Wolfsburg 2-1 and secure top spot in group B.
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I read this blog, clicked "back" and saw the headline for United's latest CL victory...
A Michael Owen hat-trick helps injury-hit Manchester United beat Wolfsburg 2-1 and secure top spot in group B.
Michael Owen manages a hat-trick, yet his side only win 2-1.
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alpineboyo
Beat me to it.
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Nothing to do with sport and perhaps a little immature but I feel worthy of a place on this board, a little snippet from this years MasterChef The Professionals:-
Michel Roux Jr "I love your plums, they're so succulent"
Contestant "Thanks"
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Brendan rogers out off reading A.S.A.P he has not got a clue. one striker at home and then he is not good (rasiak). rogers doesnt do any experimenting with the teak formation but changes the team every weak.he has let 2 of our best players out on loan (rosenior&harper), wht is he doing?
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"Harper, who joined Kettering as a player in 2008, took over as manager just over three weeks ago after Mark Cooper left for Championship side Portsmouth." - I know Portsmouth have had a bad start but didn't realise they were being demoted this early.
Taken from BBC Football post "Lee Harper considers future of Kettering manager"
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"QPR have won only one of their last seven matches and the Watford loss followed a 5-1 humbling by Reading at Loftus Road on Saturday."
I know QPR are playing poorly but they lost 5-1 to Middlesbrough on saturday not reading
Taken from QPR suspend jim magilton article
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Chris
What happened to Review of the Week last week? are we getting one this week?
Hope so.
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I am off sick from work, got a fever, can anyone help with the fletcher arrow thing......I just don't geddit.
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I THINK this is the time for Arsenal to account to us the fans. if the team can't win anything in five years is it really worth the support.
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27. At 1:43pm on 09 Dec 2009, BENJAMIN TAYEBWA wrote:
I THINK this is the time for Arsenal to account to us the fans. if the team can't win anything in five years is it really worth the support.
Yes it is worth the support and the fact that you are even asking that question puzzles me. Support them through thick and thin mate the trophies will come around again, don't be a fair weather fan get behind Wenger and the boys.
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Collie21
Apparently 'archers' used to be known as 'fletchers'. Either that or the arrow flights are known as 'fletche(r)s' or summink like that. The surname derives from it too allegedly - archers or bow-makers were known as Fletchers. At least according to Nick Cage in "the Weatherman" - though it wouldn't be the first or only piece of nonsense peddled by hollywood.
Hope you feel better
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#29 There's no 'apparently' or 'ellegedly' about it! It's the truth!
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The spanish word,`Flecha` (pronounced `Fletcher`) means arrow. Maybe a linguistic connection there? Hope there is a review of the week, but also a review of the year would be a lot of fun to read too :)
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Which footballer is married to Kenneth Williams? (see photo on blog)
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the fletcher - arrow thing; previous posts were almost correct. attaching the flights to arrows was known as fledging, therefore those who made arrows were known as fledgers. over time, this became fletcher, so, in short, people who made arrows were known as fletcher's, which is where the surname is derived from.
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"They may be big in Switzerland, but so are yodellers, and nobody wants to watch them fight"- David Haye talking about the upcoming fight between Vitali Klitschko and Kevin Johnson
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"Heavyweight title fights should be huge events, not an after-thought in a country most famous for producing Toblerones"- Another gem from Haye, talking about the same fight
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Great defending there by Ryan.. I mean Graham Taylor.
Andy Townsend at the Kettering-Leeds match at Rockingham Road commenting on Kettering right-back..... Greg Taylor.
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I know the Reds are having a bad time lately - but this was on the BBC Football Web page just now:
"Icelandic 16-year-old Kristjan Gauti Emilsson joins Liverpoo,, plus other rumours."
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Chris, I think it's time to introduce a new section to QOTW by including BBC Caption of the Week. For starters, MOTD2's analysis of the young right-back at Everton on Sunday "Coleman's mustard"
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"That's very strange."
Sky Sports' Andy Gray, just as the banner appeared on the screen to advertise that Birmingham v Blackburn was to be televised. He and Martin Tyler did joke about it.
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"Both teams needed to win and they did"
Lee Dixon on MOTD2 describing the result of the Liverpool vs. Arsenal game.
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This chronometer person is wrong, end of story, and this is why.
My daughter is ten. She finished her tenth year on the last day she was nine. The day she was 'ten' was in fact the eleventh time the day she was born on occurred since she was born. She is now in her eleventh year, even though she is ten. This is because when we say something is one year old, it started a year ago, and a year has ALREADY GONE.
0-1: one year passes
1-2: two years pass
2-3: three years pass
3-4: four years pass
4-5: five years pass
5-6: six years pass
6-7: seven years pass
7-8: eight years pass
8-9: nine years pass
9-10: ten years have passed.
From the above, we can see that ten years will have passed since 2000 at the end of this 2009, hence the next decade begins on 1st January 2010.
This works because the first year of the whole 2000 was called 01 AFTER a year had already passed.
Having said that, my response to this thread is still the same as the bloke in the stand behind me at a recent dismal Bristol City performance: 'I'd rather be watching Jedward!'
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