Review of the week
In the week when football folk everywhere were losing control of their vehicles, Rafa Benitez provided us with some real car crash TV.
Unless you're currently locked up with Mini-Me, you'll have witnessed the Liverpool gaffer's astonishing rant at Sir Alex Ferguson, which saw him digging a hole so deep, you felt sure he was going to suddenly disappear from view (like his captain on Match of the Day a few seasons ago).
You've got to hand it to Fergie. The master mischief-maker added Benitez to the ever-growing list of managers he's successfully turned into a set of those plastic chattering teeth - wind them up and watch them go.
Inter Milan boss Jose Mourinho was in town to run the rule over Champions League opponents United and when asked to give the verdict on his former club, he replied. "I didn't see Chelsea at all - I only saw Manchester United." Ouch.
The Special One added: "I had a glass of wine with Alex Ferguson and we spoke for half an hour. I told him how Inter will play against United and he named his 11 players for the game."
If the Blues were looking for an excuse they found one in the unlikely shape of Diego Maradona, said to have been responsible for triggering a 7am fire alarm at the hotel where the players were staying on the eve of the game.
The Argentina boss had allegedly been smoking big cigars with his entourage in their suite, causing the panic. It's not clear what his preferred type of stogie is, but you can bet his mates refer to it as the Brand of God. (I'm looking for my coat as we speak.)
The biggest talking point of the game came just before half-time when Wayne Rooney took a cheeky corner to himself and had time to do a weekly shop before casually informing Ryan Giggs. The Welshman whipped the ball in for Cristiano Ronaldo to head home, but the over-officious lino promptly chalked it off.
At that point the Portuguese star must have been wondering what else could go wrong. Three days earlier he smashed up his Ferrari and within nano-seconds a viral email was doing the rounds, claiming: 'A police officer said that although Ronaldo wasn't injured in any way, he arrived at the scene to find the footballer rolling around on the ground, moaning that the wall wasn't back 10 yards'.
Ronaldo, who summoned another car from his fleet to drive home from training (as you do), blamed the crash on an oil spillage, which had presumably leaked from the slick on his barnet. But hey, who wouldn't write off a £200,000 supercar in exchange for being named world player of the year?
The Manchester United coach driver was another suffering at the wheel of misfortune after losing his keys on the morning of the Chelsea game. He broke the window to get in, setting off an alarm which disabled the engine.
Happily for the red-faced employee, the problem was quickly rectified, but it was the quote from a club spokesman that really caught the eye - "there was nothing sinister about it". Phew.
There were no such engine problems for Bayern Munich star Franck Ribery when he decided to go for a little joyride on the team bus, taking out two road signs as he went for a lap around the hotel where the players were staying. The club were not amused, given the French international's lack of a bus licence, but as you can see from the video, Ribery found the whole experience hilarious.
El Hadji Diouf was yet another footballer having a bit of car trouble. The midfielder's black cadillac spluttered to a halt (much like his career) on Newcastle's Tyne Bridge, causing snarl-ups for two hours. Probably not the best place for a Sunderland player to be stranded.
Toon striker Andy Carroll marked his second game for the first team with a goal against West Ham, but it was the youngster's dodgy braided hairdo that was getting all the attention after the match. Carroll admitted "I've had some stick for it and I will probably get even more now", before taking his dog-on-a-string to an all night squat-rave.
David Beckham knows a thing or two about daft haircuts, but he let his football do the talking on his AC Milan debut, earning praise from all quarters. He refused to quash rumours that he might stay on in Italy, but as his former boss Alexei Lalas astutely pointed out - "David Beckham is not bigger than the Galaxy."
Derby County got the result of the week, beating Manchester United in the League Cup under the watchful eye of new boss Nigel Clough.
Stand-in manager David Lowe became a hero just for one day before handing over the reins to Cloughie. Lowe had spent the previous day coaching the club's under-eight side so it must have been nice for him to have a decent adult conversation after the match with the likes of Wazza and Ronaldo.
And finally, congratulations to Gary Neville on the birth of his first child - and for manfully resisting the urge to call it after his Dad. The poor girl would never have forgiven him.
OTHER STUFF
Snowball fight stops La Liga match
Ayr's Alex Williams celebrates goal with referee Steve Conroy
Jeff Stelling's underwater impression
Courtesy off 'Off The Post' football blog
I am a journalist with BBC Sport, dealing with the more offbeat stories doing the rounds. I am a QPR fan - and also quite fond of football. If our new-found wealth brings success I'll be happy to tell anyone exactly where I was when we were sh... rubbish - row J seat 139. 
© MMIX~RS~q~RS~~RS~z~RS~52~RS~)
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what is the purpose of this blog? another semi talented journo regurgitating old news with his own brand of 'comedy' attached. this is nearly as bad as robbo robsons blog and thats saying something. is this where the taxpayers money goes?
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anfieldsean are you on here 'jipping' people again!!
Your job must be nearly as boring as mine!!
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1.anfieldsean - 'semi-talented'? I'll take that!
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anfieldsean, most scousers don't seem to be lacking a sense of humour so you must be having a bad day like Benitez. Get a grip man, if you don't like the blogs don't read them, it's not a difficult decision to make!
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Let me guess what has annoyed anfieldsean - I bet it was the word rant that appears near Sr Benitez's name. Funny how the legendary scouse wit disappears as soon as anyone has a pop at them. It's fair game to criticise anyone else, but dare to cast any criticism at Anfield and everything's so unfair. Grow up and understand it that if you are successful, you will get people popping at you
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Andy Carroll. Dear oh dear, Lord have mercy.
If I was JFK I would ban him for five games and fine him 3 weeks wages and also warn him about his future conducts.
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anfieldsean - you are as annoying as the people who write to Points of View complaining they dont like a programme! If you dont like the blog, dont read it! It really is that simple!
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anfieldsean - looks like i have got everyone on your back now! sorry mate
cant agree more with the comments on Andy Carroll's hair cut.... Proper sick!!
Now means we have a player with a 80's style perm (collochini) one with a pony tail (gutierez) and then Carroll's effort! and to top it all off i'm going bald!!
Toon - Definately the worst hair styles in the prem. anyone disagree?
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Cor a lot happened this week. And omg as if Ribery got away with doin a bit of GTA on the team bus! Thats like that maddest thing ive ever seen a player do! Well apart from the occasional friendly sucker punch for a teammate, but you get what im saying, what a bloody looney he is.
As for Mourinho, i think its very interesting watching the relationship between himself and Fergie. I dunno how much people agree with this, but i am 100% certain that the 'Special One' will be SAF's successor. Who else could it possibly be? There is nobody else out there with the experience, talent and charisma required to fill Fergies boots.
Anyway Chris thats for the update, another good blog mate
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anfieldsean - your quote is "regurgitating old news", well considering its a review of the week does this surprise you? I think it was a well balanced article and a good read.
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Or even 'Thanks' for the update
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#10 - I totaly agree. You get people that use a similar insult about this blog now n then, and it makes me laugh. Its ok for people that either dont work, or dont work very hard, that can find out every update every second of the day, but for people like myself who are stuck at work all day, but can still have a sneaky peek at the BBC site from time to time, the review of the week is perfect. Not too long, not too formal, with a nice splash of humour in. Spot on. My TV licence fee is getting me a good service
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Anfieldsean, are you an idiot? The whole point of tis and Robbo's blog is that it is meant to be a bit of light hearted 'fun' - do you remember what fun is? A laugh, a joke.
There are bloggers who always write serious articles, Chris and Robbo 'take the edge off'
Good blog Chris, more the same next week matey. Enjoyed it.
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Good to see anfieldsean getting the criticism he rightly deserves ahead of Chris Charles. Well done - bout time.
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SAF:
"All I said was I thought they might get nervous, I never expected the Spanish Inquisition"
RAFA:
"NOBODY expects the Spanish Inquisition, chief among our arsenal of weapons are fear, surprise, fanatical devoition to Shankley and nice red uniforms"
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#1 - anfieldsean "is this where the taxpayers money goes?"
Answer is No. The BBC is not funded by tax.
Relief all over for you huh?
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This comment was removed because the moderators found it broke the House Rules.
This was a well written article, a nice light read. The events of the weeks was well summaised, with a touch of irony & humour. This is what blogs writing about.
Well done Chris Charles. look forward to your next blog.
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#16 The licesnse fee is a tax. So sort it out.
An unfair one at that seeing as the only decent things on the BBC is the sport, which they don't create, Family Guy (same again) and Top Gear which is just legendary.
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I enjoyed this read - although I think the criticism for Robbo is spot on. He's usually dire.
This was a nice read however, although some of our Scouse friends will clearly be upset that you criticised dear Rafa.
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Lennonisagod - Do you watch Big Brother, by any chance?
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bigroy00, nice one mate!
#19 No it is not a tax, you don't HAVE to pay it. Unless you want to watch the telly anyway.
Great blog Chris, always a good read while I'm stuck in work eating my sandwiches!
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Afternoon all. First of all, sorry anfieldsean, you seem to be getting it in the neck. You're perfectly entitled to your opinion and I've been called a lot worse (usually by the good lady) - but then I guess everyone else is entitled to theirs too.
9.BCChris. Interesting theory about Mourinho, although the way things are shaping up at Man City, he might just end up there. Wonder how long it would take Craig Bellamy to wind up Kaka if they both end up at Eastlands?
13. Rovers Return - Rally Round. Yes, you're right - my blog and Robbo's are meant to be a bit of knockabout teasing and shouldn't be taken too seriously.
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#22
So hang on tax on alcohol, cigarettes and VAT aren't taxes? You could get through life without buying anything, but does that make them not taxes???
My point is that the license fee is about as outdated as you can get.
#21
I did actually to begin with due to the sheer ingenuity of the programme, maybe the BBC could learn something from Endemol...
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This comment was removed because the moderators found it broke the House Rules.
I'm not having a go at 'anfieldsean' specifically but there seem to be a lot of people on these blogs who have a sense of humour bypass when the joke is on their team. It's just a bit of fun!
Andy Carroll's haircut - the worst in premiership history?
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Why does everyone in the media and BBC tend to describe Rafa's comments as a rant? The same old useless 'jump on the band wagon' journalism!
What many of the brainwashed audience tend to miss in reading this rubbish is that most managers would tend to agree with most of what Benítez said but don't have to guts to say anything, plus one can't deny the fact that former referee Graham Poll has backed Rafa up in his claims saying, "Rafa Benitez has articulated what referees have been thinking for years - that Sir Alex Ferguson can say what he wants about them and the FA will allow him to get away with it."
Now whether you agree or whether Rafa timed his comments well or whether he will regret having made them is another matter and one we could argue about till the cows come home, but one thing I am sure about is that Rafa is no inexperienced lightweight. He's been here before, he's used to standing up for what he believes is right, for the good of his team and the club. He can handle pressure from the big boys and bullies from within and outside Anfield - he's done it before in Spain twice against the might of real madrid and barcelona plus dealt with internal turmoil at Valencia. You can be sure that this "rant" was thoroughly thought out and discussed before it was delivered.
Now let's move on and see what May brings and hope for some better written pieces from our beloved reporters in the meantime... fat chance!
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U forgot about the turmoil at Liverpool as well.
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BCChris i think you are spot on about Mourinho. Not only because of his relationship with Fergie but also if you saw his press conference when Inter drew United in the CL i have never heard Mourinho talk up an oppostion team so much (albeit they r world and euro champions!) He is also the most likely person to try and keep Ronaldo at the club should he decide to part when Fergie does.
The only stumbling block i think could be the style of play he likes which certainly isn't in keeping with United's tradition. Also providing City don't offer him half a million quid a week!
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27. 4ever-reddy - thanks for your rant (joke!!) Yes, maybe it is a bit lazy to describe Rafa's diatribe as such, but it's fair to say it left everyone gobsmacked, given that it was so out of the blue and pretty much out of character. Ferguson's comments about the rigged fixture list also came in for a ribbing from the media (myself included), so rest assured we're not all ganging up on the Liverpool boss.
I think if he'd kept it short and sweet (i.e. non-rant length - ahem) and stuck to making the sharp gags about letting Fergie decide the fixtures and send them round to the other managers, most people would have been singing his praises. He just seemed to ever-so-slightly cross that line.
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Brilliantly funny and that's just the comments.
Good work as always Chris
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True Charles it was a bit out of the blue and maybe yes he could have kept it lighthearted. If Liverpool had won and ManU drew everything would have looked different too. What was guaranteed was to take the players (and the Gerrard situ) out of the spot light.
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Sorry but the license fee is not a Tax - no matter how outdated or unfair you may think it is.
Cheers.
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#26 David James has had some shocking haircuts and as much as i like him Fellini's is quite bad
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Frankly, if there is any life in this blog it is that injected by Anfieldsean's comment.
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27. How come it is only the Liverpool fans on here who are complaining about this piece? The piece, however well or badly written you might consider it to be, had a dig at loads of people, but the only complaints are coming from LIverpool fans. Why are they so precious that no-one can say anything about them? And Chris Charles, stop backtracking saying that maybe you're being a bit harsh. At least the Newcastle fans who have replied have joined in the joke about their stirker's hair. But say anything about old Goatee and you have to start apologising.
As Martin Kelner once said, if Liverpool had lost the penalty shoot-out against West Ham, they would have wanted to open a book of condolences!
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4ever-reddy - graham Poll also said that ferguson doesn't pressure referees any more than other managers, he is just better at it than most. he also described him as charming and friendly.
i find it interesting that you also say all the other managers agree when your only source for this is beneathus himself and all his other 'facts' have been proven false so why should this one be any different.
whilst we're dealing in facts, Liverpool have bottled it, United have won and the only other 'fact' scousers need to figure out is what number comes after 19.
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anfieldsean are you alright son? there was a lot of venom in that, you must be disturbed about something....!
pressure getting to you merseysiders!!
I enjoyed the blog anyway chris, brought some enjoyment to an otherwise dull, rainy, January afternoon!!
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35. sevenseaman: Yep, he's definitely got things going! Which is what it's all about.
36. FairPlay: Fair play, maybe I was back-tracking (oh darn, there I go again). No, what I said was it may have been a bit lazy not to come up with a more original term for 'rant', given that is the word that seems to have been widely bandied about.
But having looked at all the possibilities and weighed up all evidence, I have finally come to the conclusion that it was indeed a rant.
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Chris, I dont think you need a reason to explain yourself, if that is indeed your opinion you are entitled to give it , it was a rant full of half truths and non-facts whether Liverpool fans like it or not. As Sir Alex says I think they realise its 'squeaky bum' time now and we will see what mettle they are really made of!!
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8: Philtoon82
Surely Everton must be in there with a shout for worst hair cut in the prem. Fellaini is probably enough to bring the whole team down, never mind Piennar.
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Good answer Chris, and good blog too, enjoyable as always!!
Frank Ribery in that video, what an absolute legend!!
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I am a liverpool fan, and yes i think Benitez was going a bit ott and he should leave the mind games to fergie and concentrate on playing footie, also leave. maybe cisse for worst haircut. great blog as usual chris
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Just a quick note in favour of the 'over-officious lino' i bet if a chelsea player had clocked onto twhat they were doing and ran over and got the ball and dribbled away I bet Man UTD would have claimed they hadn't taken the corner.
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I think its a much to say that the Benitez statement (notice i didn't say rant ...... Doh!!!) was full of lies and half truths ....
Some of the things he said were things that the media/ other managers have said for years before....
It doesn't matter anyway ....
a manager should concentrate on their own team and how their tactics are working or not .... that will win you games/ titles not reading out prepared statements in news conferences ....
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UNITED!!!
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44 - I agree that it would be a brave team who tried this away from home. Any team who conceded a goal in this fashion would be very unhappy.
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46- what's the point?
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Before a ball can re-enter play from a corner/ free kick/ goal kick it has to be stationary before it is played.
The linesman gave it as a retake because he FELT that the ball was not stationary when Rooney back heeled it into play for Giggs to cross.
If in his OPINION the ball was not stationary then he was right to order a retake....
Anyway get over it .... ManUtd scored from the retake .... But it does not excuse the Utd players chasing and hounding the linesman. Start yellow carding/ red carding offenders of any team and they will soon stop.
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agreed Cisse has to be voted funniest haircut 1,2,3,4 ......
It has been fun looked out on MOTD to find out what his latest one is ....
David James to get the Lifetime award ...
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Djibril Cisse is possibly the most ridiculous-looking human being I have ever seen.
49. digispoonerta, on your last paragraph - it's a mystery to me why referees don't exert their power to card players for dissent to the maximum. To this extent, they only have themselves to blame when people fail to show them the proper degree of respect. You're right, though. There is no need to hound the officials. The referee who sent off Mascherano, for his dissent against United last year, set what I thought was a good example, but we haven't seen anything similar since. Rooney should have had at least a yellow against Chelsea.
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Come on it was a rant. It looked like a rant. It sounded like a rant and probably smelled like a rant. I smell a rant.
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Bad haircut 11...
Team name: HAIR UNITED
In goal:
David James (with the gelled combover)
Defence:
Paul Scharner (his blue 'do)
Gareth Bale (for the hair-clip alone)
Fabricio Coloccini
Bacary Sagna
Midfield:
Marouane Fellaini
Scott Parker (when he had braids)
Alan Smith (peroxide blonde)
David Beckham (his mohican)
Up top:
Andy Carroll (snoop doggy dog)
Djirbril Cisse (CAPTAIN)
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. At 11:46am on 14 Jan 2009, anfieldsean wrote:
what is the purpose of this blog? another semi talented journo regurgitating old news with his own brand of 'comedy' attached. this is nearly as bad as robbo robsons blog and thats saying something. is this where the taxpayers money goes?
___________________________________
Shut up!
THis is the best blog on the BBC by far you need to get a sense of humour, I don't totally agree with the Benitez comments but it's still a good blog!
Keep up the good work Chris!
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Fantastic Blog Chris !
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ANFIELDSEAN, STOP YER RANTING
and for what it's worth, if you're moaning at tax payers money being wasted, your reply is sent at 11.46am? Unemployed or skiving at work? Which could it be?
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Finally I laughed on one these blogs. Good stuff bout Ronaldo... But I do have to question the need for humour, some cutting sarcasm or pointed wisdom could be just as good.
Course you have talent son you work at the beeb!
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ok firstly how am i supposed to know if i like an article/blog if i don't read it?????? pretty stupid comment to be honest. secondly im at university and today happened to be my day off :) prior to uni i worked full time for three years so unemployed was way off. thanks for the feedback anyway, thanks for clarifying the whole tax thing number 19. and before the witch hunt transcends any further im very happy a writer takes the time to blog on teams outside the prem. its refreshing actually. and if the one thing people are taking from this blog is my initial reaction to it then maybe they need to grow up a bit........thanks for your understanding chris charles and im gona leave it to you to change my mind :) look forward to the next installment. c u then
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lol philtoon, i hardly ever give abuse on these blogs. dont worry im just glad i gave those people something to get worked up about :)
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SAF can say whatever he wants he's a legend how many times haa benitez won the premier league lol liverpool are lame oh and anfieldsean unlucky mate maybe in the future you will stfu
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i laughed so so much at that Gary Neville thing...always nice to have some humour in football, well done
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Anfieldsean
fair enough, but our tax payer money also goes to your student loans and further education, I'd say we're entitled to enjoy a light-hearted side to the beautiful game. Plus being a scotsman, the game isn't very beautiful up here, nor is our journalism (Chick Young blog, give that a read, that i'll agree is a waste of tax payers money)
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At 7:15pm on 14 Jan 2009, anfieldsean wrote:
ok firstly how am i supposed to know if i like an article/blog if i don't read it?????? pretty stupid comment to be honest. secondly im at university and today happened to be my day off :)
----------------------------------------------------
didn't know that British universities accept such silly/lazy-to-think undergraduates (I presume) as you.
Even our Mad-Bob universities would not accept you.
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53, great team. what about abel xavier? or gavin mccann's unfortunate premature balding!!
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Another Fine Blog Chris
Very Funny had me in stiches,
loving the Franck Ribery story, thats just class, deciding to take a bus for a lil joyride around the hotel car park?!
I suppose we can forgive you for the "Brand of God" quip, with the other good efforts of
"Ronaldo,....... blamed the crash on an oil spillage, which had presumably leaked from the slick on his barnet." - Quality
and
"before taking his dog-on-a-string to an all night squat-rave." - Brilliant, u can just imagine it with a catastrophe of a hairdo like that
Keep Up the Good Stuff mate
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sorry lads your gona have to take carroll out of your team.
went to the match last night and he's took the dodgy braids out already!! what a shame!
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Time to give anfieldsean and 4ever-reddy a break. They've been ranting endlessly on the Raffa rant and are gutted at the media verdict that Rafa blew it.
Add to that that the Liverpool title challenge is now looking like it will survive January (but not much more) and you can understand that they are not in a happy place.
So let's give them a break! :)
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numer 63. ur right i am just silly.... is that the end of it? and words of wisdom you brought a smile to my face. the title challenge is far from over. one point is still only one point. but thanks for the suggested reprieve, i certainly got under some peoples skin with my 'rant' pity i didnt take the time to write my feelings down on a piece of paper, compose myself and evaluate the credibility of my arguments. then perhaps i wouldnt have ranted at what was a blog which, on retrospect, had a bit of quality about everything other than rafa :). p.s for everyone about to scream lazy student im in the library between lectures :)
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#26.
What Maroune Fellaini, I think that is how you spell it, as a contender for the worst haircut? Or rather lack of it. No wonder he is sooo good in the air, it must add a good few inches to his height!!!
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by the way, just gotta have a little laugh at Mark Lawrenson in his predictions..."I dont remember the last time Liverpool conceded a goal"....as a so called Liverpool fan!!!
Surely the fact they conceded against Newcastle, the game before last, would jog his insane memory. Please somebody shoot him.
Also the fact Liverpool have only kept 2 clean sheets in there last 6 will surely mean he doesnt have to think that hard about when Liverpools last goal was conceded.
The man would fit right at home at Setanta!!!
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AnfieldSean - "semi talented ".
Bit like the Liverpool squad then.
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#70 kevthered83
Without trying to be too personal about it, I can't stand Mark Lawrenson as a "pundit". He always seems to be constantly laughing at his own inane jokes, the quality of which are so poor he he hasn't earnt the right to be so annoyingly smug. I never thought I would find myself defending him, and I'm shocked that I am, but my sense of fairness forces me to make the observation that what he actually says in his predictions is "Everton have done quite superbly without a recognised striker in recent weeks and I cannot remember the last time they conceded a goal". Is it just me, or is he talking about Everton, not Liverpool?
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Actually the funniest thing is Murhino was lying through his teeth when he named his team and Ferguson Lied through his teeth when he named their opposition.
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