Alternative Christmas song
Regular readers (hello mum) might be aware I attempt a sporty re-working of a Christmas carol/song around this time of year.
In 2002 (blimey have I really been here that long?) it was Good King Goldenballs, in 2003 Jonny Christmas, the following year Fergie/Wenger/Mourinho tribute We Three Kings, 2005 God Bless Ye Merry Gentlemen (A Good Hiding From Freddie And The Boys) 2006 Away In A Strange Land (ZZ sees red) and last year Walking In A Hatton Wonderland.
For 2008 I've decided to have a bash at an abridged version of Hallelujah. I send my deepest apologies in advance to Leonard Cohen, the late, great Jeff Buckley and that other girl who's taken to singing it of late - her name escapes me.
Please send in your efforts - I'm sure you can do better (let's face it, it can't be hard). In the meantime....
HALLELUJAH (SORT OF)
Oh Chris Hoy you are the man
You've done things that no other can
You won three golds, but surely that''ll do ya?
That'll do ya, that'll do ya, that'll do ya, that'll do-oo-oo ya.
Hey Rebecca Adlington
We're all so glad that you swum
To two golds and a pair of Jimmy Choo-sa
Jimmy Choo-sa, Jimmy Choo-sa, Jimmy Choo-sa, Jimmy Choo-oo-oo sa.
Lewis Hamilton you're ace
You might not have won every race
Still, nice to know Alonso is a loser
Is a loser, is a loser, is a loser, is a lo-oo-oo-ser.
Cristiano take a bow
The things you did made us go wow!
The ladies loved you 'cos you're such a schmoozer
Such a schmoozer, such a schmoozer, such a schmoozer, such a schmoo-oo-oo-zer.
So join me as we sing this song
A year when Brits could do no wrong
A very merry happy Christmas to ya
Christmas to ya, Christmas to ya, Christmas to ya, Christmas to-oo-oo ya.
I am a journalist with BBC Sport, dealing with the more offbeat stories doing the rounds. I am a QPR fan - and also quite fond of football. If our new-found wealth brings success I'll be happy to tell anyone exactly where I was when we were sh... rubbish - row J seat 139. 
© MMIX~RS~q~RS~~RS~z~RS~53~RS~)
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David Beckham your the man
You went and signed for the great Milan
This will mean that you are not a loser
Not a loser...not a loser...not a loser...not a loo-ooo-ooser
Very good song mate, roll on next years version!
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I can't believe it's been that long since the first one of these either Chris.
Even by the usually ropey standard this one is a poor effort........ but I enjoy them non the less - it's become on of those tacky Christmas traditions that you wouldn't want to be without!!!
Merry Christmas to you and all your BBC Sport online colleagues over the year you save me from many a bored afternoon at work!!!!
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heard there was a secret ball
Southgate dreamed it would beat them all
But you don’t really play the long ball do ya
It goes like this the full pitch width
Downing’s cross and Boateng’s flick
The baffled keeper can’t stop Mark Viduka
Mark Viduka Mark Viduka
Mark Viduka Mark Viduka
Defence was strong but you needed youth
Pogatetz and Woodgate too
Just to stop Ronaldo running through you
Well he tied mad dog to the physio’s chair
With Cattermole and Xavier’s hair
But from our team they can’t take Mark Viduka
Mark Viduka Mark Viduka
Mark Viduka Mark Viduka
Did my best it wasn’t much
Was praying for Yakubu’s touch
To find the golden boot of Mark Viduka
Then even though it all went wrong
Come Saturday the special one
Be shouting to John Terry, mark Viduka
Mark Viduka Mark Viduka
Mark Viduka Mark Viduka
by alistair griffins
its a real song
http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=kIMBxwKzlKs
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HA, i liked it Chris, very entertaining.
Halleluja indeed, last day of work!!!!
Anyway Chris, thanks for the blogs this year mate, they have been very entertaining. Hope you and the family have a very merry christmas. Look after yourselves over the holidays and look forward to your articles next year.
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So Michael Owen you won't sign
For just four months you'll lead our line
And then I guess this means we're gonna lose you
Gonna lose you, gonna
lose you, gonna lose you, gonna lose you
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quality guys!
bit of christmas cheer always goes down a treat at our office and that got my usually drab boss smiling! and yes, cracks did appear on his cheeks!
merry christmas one and all
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Very Good Chris, rather amusing I must Say.
Not the song writing type myself so unfortunately I doubt my efforts would be any better!
Hope you have a Merry Chiristmas, look forward to your 2009 Blog keeping me entertained during my office day!
All the Best
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The Proteas came to Headingley
Our test match plans went shoddily
Wickets fell like, it was like deja vu-a
Deja vu-a, deja vu-a, deja vu-a, deja vu-uu-uu-a
Michael Vaughan, you walked the plank
Your England average really stank
The Captain's curse had really done one to ya
Done one to ya, done one to ya, done one to ya, done one to-oo-oo-ya.
In desperate times we called KP
And placed on him the captaincy
But please don't mention he's from KwaZulu, yeah?
KwaZulu yeah, KwaZulu yeah, KwaZulu yeah, KwaZulu-uu-uu yeah.
The Stanford match made millionaires
It turned out no-one really cares
ECB were just left feeling blue-aah,
Feeling blue-aah, feeling blue-aah, feeling blue-aah, feeling blu-uu-uu-uuuue-aah.
So now we're playing India
Our bowling's like a bumper car
Even if it hits ya, what's it to ya?
What's it to ya, what's it to ya, what's it to ya, what's it too-oo-oo ya?
We'd better buck up our ideas
Or Ashes will all end in tears
Perhaps we could put something in their stew, yeah?
In thier stew yeah, in their stew yeah, in their stew yeah, in their stew-ew-ew yeah?
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Ha Ha that was very good chris. Have a great Christmas
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United went off to Japan,
To earn so money for the man,
But now we're back and Liverpool we'll pursue ya,
We'll pursue ya, We'll pursue ya...
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Good efforts all round, guys.
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SurfingSharka - excellant! What a pointless last day to the test match!
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Fernando T you came along
Already on the L'pool song
and you dont really care for chelsea do ya
those goals you scored, you reached thirty
you'll soon be back to haunt chelsea
the liverpool fans be singing hallelujah
hallelujah hallelujah hallelujah hallelujah
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oh Luzhniki we love your grass
how you made terry fall on his ass
and all united fans sang hallelujah
hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah, halleeeeelujah
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Kevin Davies you are the best,
despite that you have man breast's,
and you kick Evra ass every year.
Every year, Every year, every year, every yeaaaarrr.
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The Aussies will soon be here,
With no spinner for us to fear,
and England will make it 5 nil at the Oval,
at the Oval, at the Oval, at the Oal
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i heard there was a new team forth
that martin picked and it pleased the board
but you don't really care for west brom, do you
well it goes like this carew's goal, is a gift
the mighty fall and the minnows lift
the baffled wenger blaming referees
hallelujah...
well your faith was strong but you needed proof
you saw him put the ball in the roof
its beauty and the free kick overthrew you
randy lerner will never leave his chair
he'd rather brake a leg or cut his hair
and from your lips she drew the aston villa
hallelujah...
villans i've been here before
i've seen this position and i've played on this floor
you used to live in glasgow before i knew you
i've seen your face in the tunnel arch
but this is not a victory march
it's a charge and it's a race for the top
hallelujah...
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Great blog, love it.
Gary Mac you had no time
To shore up that defensive line
Now you're gone and Bates shouts well screw ya
Well screw ya, well screw ya, well screw ya, well screw-ew-ew-ew ya.
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Morning all,
Thanks for your comments and all your prose thus far, which frankly puts mine in the shade. Particularly fond of the efforts from 5. talktech, 14. aj_sammie and the mammoth epic from SurfingSharka (No 8).
2. RetiredNo6: I don't think Homer, Betjeman or even Spike Milligan would have been sweating it too much had they been with us - sadly, unlike Morrissey I didn't have 'weird lover Wilde' on my side, never mind Keats and Yeats but Christmas is all about the craic and it looks like everyone has taken it in the right spirit.
Thanks for all your contributions throughout the year - couldn't have done it without you - and have a wonderful Christmas one and all.
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The referees are there for us all to berate;
Most are honest, there’s a few that ain’t;
But they all need bullet proof vests like they’re in Fallujah;
In Fallujah, in Fallujah, in Fallujah, in Falluuuujhaaaaa
(Note from Simon Cowell - If you want to get on X Factor with this make sure your voice and mouth wobbles a lot when you hit that last note. A few tears wouldn't go amiss, either!). No intention of trivialising our service people out in Iraq with this. Hope if anyone out there reads it they'll take it in the spirit that it is intended. Season's Greetings to anyone who is out there.
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Oh-what-a-finish - you should have posted your version on Robbo's blog haha
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Sparky Hughes is still a red,
A big club job is what you said,
but you dont really care for city do yer?
You bled them dry, you made them cry,
And soon at Leeds they will say hi
when you take them down in to league-two-sir...
to -league-two-sir, to -league-two-sir, to league two sir, to league twooooooo siiiiir
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When keegam left we were in panic and fear
But then a new man came in and changed our year
and his name was Joe Kinnear
Joe Kinnear,Joe Kinnear,Joe Kinnear.
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Ashley Cole you fell from grace,
The tabloids seem to love your face,
But mess up and the england fans will boo ya,
Fans will boo ya, fans will boo ya...
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Arsenal-iu-jah -
Yes there are too many syllables but just sing it to make it fit ok.
O arsen wenger please sign someone new
Before the gunners season is through.
But you don’t like to listen to reason do ya
Listen to reason do ya, Listen to reason do ya, Listen to reason do ya, Listen to reason do-oo-oo ya.
Appartently there’s 70 million to spend in our treasure chest.
But playing unheard ofs from Africa work best.
Please drops these dreams of Arsenal-iu-jah
Arsenal-iu-jah, Arsenal-iu-jah, Arsenal-iu-jah, Arsenal-iu-oo-jah
You winge and complain when we lose
But what do u expect with a starting 11 not old enough to buy booze,
I doubt any have even ever used a razor
Used a raz-or, used a raz-or, used a raz-or, used a ra-ee-zor
Everyone complains that our first team is French
But when you cast your eyes over our substitutes bench
It looks like the cast of Nick-el-o-deon Junior
Nick-el-o-deon Junior, Nick-el-o-deon Junior, Nick-el-o-deon Junior, Nick-el-oo-oo-deon Junior.
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The fine Grand Slam the boyo's won
The final lap from Hamilton
I watched it all with lager in the boozer
In the boozer, in the boozer, in the boozer, in the boo-oo-oo-zer
Hoy was winning golds for fun
Just like Becky Adlington
Never has our sporting eye been truer
Eye been truer, eye been truer, eye been truer, eye been true-oo-oo-er
But think Nadal at Wimbledon
The 4th innings Tendulkar ton
Don't let all the hype around here fool ya
Let it fool ya, let it fool ya, let it fool ya, let it foo-oo-oo-l ya
When all of this is said and done
This year has been a special one
And let's hope it continues in the new year
In the new year, in the new year, in the new year, in the new-ew-ew-ew year
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I heard there was a guy out there
that plays right back without a care
but you don't really care for shaving, do ya
your eyebrow seems to never end
he's tall and he runs like the wind
his name is the great bosingwa
bosingwa...bosingwa...bosingwa...bos..ing..ing-ing...wa
well you chucked a coin into the crowd
thinking you saw Girls Aloud
but you just want the tabloid space, don't ya
you'd rather be at Inter Milan
where Mourinho says he's still your fan
just make up your mind please drogba
oh drogba...oh drogba...oh drogba...oh..drog..og-og..ba
maybe I've seen you before
you look like that guy whose not on tv no more
I think his name was Gordon Kaye
You won the world cup with Brazil
We played Everton and drew 0-0
Your the man with no plan B Scolari
Scolari....scolari....scolari....sco...o-o..lari
there was a time we thought you'd turn great
goals have been few, and now its too late
bet you're hoping for a transfer, aren't ya
but when you appear the crowd shouts your name
if windass can score why can't you do the same
Your quick but thats not enough Kalouuu
Kalouuu...Kalouuuu....Kalouuuu....Kal...ouu-ouu-ouu
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I couldn't think of a last verse
Well I heard there was a secret word
That Owen said and it pleased the board
But you don’t really care for contracts do ya
Well they wanted fourth, but they finished fifth
another trophy they didn’t lift
The baffled fans chanting Arsene Wenger
Arsene Wenger… Arsene Wenger…
Arsene Wenger… Arsene We-----nger
Well our faith was strong but we needed proof
As the fans sang and hit the roof
When Kuyt and Ryan Babel overthrew you
Well Fergie sat there in his chair
We broke his throne and we messed his hair
And from on that day we beat the Man United
Man United… Man United…
Man United… Man Uni----ted
Well there was a time when you let me know
what's really going on below
And you don’t know you’re best 11 do you?
But Redknapp came and moved in you
And Keane and Berbatov they moved too
And from your team they drew hallelujah
hallelujah... hallelujah...
hallelujah... hallelujah
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I like the Viduka version! Our song at the bridge goes:
He fills in for Joey Cole,
He gets the ball and shoots at goal,
but doesn't often pass the ball to ya,
Hallelujah Florent Malouda!
Hallelujah Florent Malouda!
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Simon Grayson you've took the job
And you'll hope to appease the Leeds mob
You obviously don't like job security
Do ya?
Because if you don't take us up in first
Bates will think your bubble's burst
And then you'll find yourself straight in the dole queue yeah
Dole queue yeah, dole queue yeah, dole queue yeah, dole quuuuueeeuuuuueee
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There was a time you were almost gone
No sign of your first season form
But now you're on your game again , don't ya?
Your confidence was down and you needed proof
Barry was chased, Uve almost signed you,
The baffled fans were singing 'stay Alonso',
Stay Alonso Stay Alonso Stay Alonso Stay Alonso...
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Warren Gatland came onboard
Forwards charged Shane Williams Scored
new year, same old sh*t Wooden Spoona
Wooden Spoona! Wooden Spoona!
Wooden Spoona!
Juande Ramos Came and Went
King Harry actually got goals from Bent
but relegartion becons for ya
becons for ya, becons for ya
becons for ya
In the Alps Europes finest was Named
here in Britain it simply rained
the magic from torres had us singing Viva Espana! viva Espana! viva Espana
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I heard there was a team of youth
That always listened to Wengers truth
But you don’t really listen to Gallas do ya?
Gallas spoke out to the press
And now the captaincy’s gone to Cesc
The arsenal fans now singing Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelu-u-u-u-jah
Our pace was strong but where’s Theo?
Got injured whil with Fabio
Preparing for a friendly against the Germans.
With injuries to half the squad
Will Arsene Wenger spend some dosh
And does he have the backing of the Chairman..
Peter Hill-Wood? Peter Hill-Wood?
Peter Hill-Wood? Peter Hill-Wood?
With Christmas only days away
And Aston Villa on Boxing Day
Is it gonna be a “Happy New Year”?
For our reserves Eduardo played
And immense young talent was displayed
From our boys Aaron Ramsey and Jack Wilshere
Jack Wilshere, Jack Wilshere
Jack Wilshere, Jack Wilshere
All Arsenal fans please be prepared
Full combat gear you’ll need to wear
When we travel to play AS Roma
Thankfully that’s weeks away
Now go enjoy your Christmas Day
And have a Happy New Year all you gooners
all you gooners, all you gooners
all you gooners, all you gooners
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I've often wondered why no one is singing footballer songs to Kings of Leon yet, it's so obvious.
"YEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHOOOOOO - VAN PERSIE'S* ON FIRE"
*insert Ronaldo, Wayne Rooney, Fernando, Zamora, McGoldrick, Anelka, Malouda, Elmander, etc etc.
Works with anything - universal appeal!
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p.s one for southampton fans
I heard there was a secret forward
Capello played and it pleased the Lord
but you don't really care for Southampton do you
a first a second a hattrick scored!
a crowd of England fans roared
and on their lips the name was Theo Walcott
Theo Walcott! Theo Walcott!
Theo Walcott! Theo Walcott!
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Am I the only one that thinks this song is total mince?
Not funny.
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wow fascinating, easy to see 17 knows the original song :-)
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There was a guy named Stanford
Who wanted his home to be the new Lords.
But his tourney you couldn't care for, could you?
Yet the ECB surely did
With the lure of near a million quid,
And all the while we said that Ally'll screw ya.
Ally screw ya, Ally Screw ya
Pietersen didn't want to be there,
As he sat in his press conference chair,
And his team said to him "We're speaking through ya"
While pietersen was hit for six,
Standford was upto his dirty tricks,
With Ms. Pietersen on knee he whispered "I will screw ya"
Ally screw ya, ally Screw ya
etc.
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I heard there was a Scottish man,
Who took his club side to Japan,
Match pile up had him raving like a looney.
Like a looney, like a looney, like a looney, like a loo-oo-oo-oo-ney.
Well the first match went by easily,
United 5 Osaka 3,
A pair of goals were taken by Wayne Rooney.
By Wayne Rooney, by Wayne Rooney, by Wayne Rooney, by Wayne Roo-oo-oo-oo-ney.
Well the final was a sterner task,
Down a man is a big ask,
Nemanja had us shouting 'you're a looney'.
You're a looney, you're a looney, you're a looney, you're a loo-oo-oo-oo-ney.
Well it looked as though all hope was gone,
Then Ronnie flicked Carrick's pass on,
The net was found superbly by Wayne Rooney.
By Wayne Rooney, by Wayne Rooney, by Wayne Rooney, by Wayne Roo-oo-oo-oo-ney.
...repeat to fade...
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I heard there was a Scottish man,
Who took his club side to Japan,
Match pile up had him raving like a looney.
Like a looney, like a looney, like a looney, like a loo-oo-oo-oo-ney.
Well the first match went by easily,
United 5 Osaka 3,
A pair of goals were taken by Wayne Rooney.
By Wayne Rooney, by Wayne Rooney, by Wayne Rooney, by Wayne Roo-oo-oo-oo-ney.
Well the final was a sterner task,
Down a man is a big ask,
Nemanja had us shouting 'you're a looney'.
You're a looney, you're a looney, you're a looney, you're a loo-oo-oo-oo-ney.
Well it looked as though all hope was gone,
Then Ronnie flicked Carrick's pass on,
The net was found superbly by Wayne Rooney.
By Wayne Rooney, by Wayne Rooney, by Wayne Rooney, by Wayne Roo-oo-oo-oo-ney.
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We won the league when Giggsy scored,
And equalled Bobby C's record,
And then we packed our bags and went to Moscow,
Ronaldo scored but missed a pen,
The fans thought that was it and then,
John Terry stepped right up - but he fell over
He fell over, he fell over
As double champions life was great,
Until Ronaldo had to state,
Madrid was so much better than Manchester,
Well him and Fergie had a chat,
And then he stayed so that was that,
But I still think he might leave in the summer,
In the summer, in the summer
Well City signed Robinho,
But Berba didn't want to know,
And sparky Hughes may get sacked in the new year,
Scolari he looked great at first,
The Scousers started with a burst,
But neither team can win a game at home now,
Win at home now, win at home now
United went off to Japan,
To make some money for the man,
But now we're back and Liverpool we'll pursue you
The title's there for us to win,
3 points at Stoke and it begins,
Come May we'll all be singing Hallelujah!
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
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There was a time, that we would know
the goings on at liverpool
but you dont really care for the fans do ya
Many time we voiced a fears
we knew that it would end in tears
Just give up and sell to DIC-ah
DIC-ah, DIC-ah, DIC-ah, DIC-ah
Fernando T you came along
Already on the L'pool song
and you dont really care for chelsea do ya
those goals you scored, you reached thirty
you'll soon be back to haunt chelsea
the liverpool fans be singing hallelujah
hallelujah hallelujah hallelujah hallelujah
And then came 2008
It looked like time to end the wait
As the reds marched to the top of the table
United, chelsea please watch out
cos liverpool are on a rout
to end the run of years without the title
without the title, without the title, without the title, without the title
So i end my message hear
leaving Ferg'son with the fear
That we will see the rise of liverpool
Surely now it won't be long
till we are singing our favourite song
Never Walk Alone, we are the champions
we are the champions, we are the champions, we are the champions,we are the champions
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How good is that. Publish it worldwide man.
Here's mine:
Oh Fabregas you came to us
but now your'e injured so
it means Wenger will buy..
he will...he will...he wi-l-l b-uy.
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i hear there was a secret shoe
that Usain wore to beat that crew
but you dont really care about him do you?
it goes like this his fourth his fifth
his medals racking up to his sixth
oh Bradley your a star in that velodrome
oh Britain, oh Britain
oh Britain, what a year it has bee-ee-en
our faith was strong but we needed youth
then Rebecca swam, she's brill that's the truth
her two golds and the record even overthrew you
they sat him down in many chairs
and penalised him, it wasn't fair
but still he managed to win, oh Lewis
oh Britain, oh Britain
oh Britain, what a year it has bee-ee-en
maybe we have been here before
we know the hype, and we know the score
but Andy has been something pretty special
We've seen our flag flying high
Hoy on that bike, he just flew by
three in one Olympics takes some beating
oh Britain, oh Britain
oh Britain, what a year it has bee-ee-en
there was a time when you let me know
what's real and going on and so
please tell me did this all happen in one year?
remember when Ron shot past you?
the red devils were moving to
world domination as we know it
oh Britain, oh Britain
oh Britain, what a year it has bee-ee-en
maybe there's a god above
but that title that Liverpool love
surely couldn't be on its way to Anfield?
Sheik's not a guy who cries at night
City, have they seen the light?
with all that money can they win something?
oh Britain, oh Britain
oh Britain, what a year it has been
Usain Bolt, Michael Phelps,
Michael Vaughan, and K-P.
Andy Murrray, Roger and Nadal
Lewis and Massa, Padraig Harrington.
if only i could fit all
the superstars of this year in one song,
but i can't, i can't,
it has been such a wonderful year of sport.
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(Simon Cowell looks at a blank piece of paper)
"Well Chris, after taking everything into account, I thought that was..."
...
...
...
"Brilliant. Congratulations."
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Well I heard there was a new top four
That Arsenal didn’t belong no more
But you don’t really care for football, do ya?
Well we’ve moved down, from fourth to fifth
The league title we probably won’t lift
Can’t believe that were below Aston Villa
Aston Villa, Aston Villa, Aston Villa, Aston Villa
We can beat the best but we still need proof
That we can win against the teams that hoof
Instead of shoot, we try to pass it through ya?
We always play with skill and flair
Come season’s end we’ll be back up there
Us Arsenal fans, we trust in Arsene Wenger
Arsene Wenger, Arsene Wenger, Arsene Wenger, Arsene Wenger
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Well I heard there was a new top four
That Arsenal didn’t belong no more
But you don’t really care for football, do ya?
Well we’ve moved down, from fourth to fifth
The league title we probably won’t lift
Can’t believe that were below Aston Villa
Aston Villa, Aston Villa, Aston Villa, Aston Villa
We can beat the best but we still need proof
That we can win against the teams that hoof
Instead of shoot, we try to pass it through ya?
We always play with skill and flair
Come season’s end we’ll be back up there
Us Arsenal fans, we trust in Arsene Wenger
Arsene Wenger, Arsene Wenger, Arsene Wenger, Arsene Wenger
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Here's one I made earlier.. Bit rubbish but hope you enjoy it!
Well I heard there was a secret style
That Arsenal played and it made us smile
But you don't really care for passing do ya?
Well the goals crashed in the 4th the 5th
The volley home and the magic chip
The fans at home all crying Halleluja
Halleluja... Halleluja... etc...
Wenger's faith was strong but you needed proof
A team comprised of magic youth
But you don't think we'll win the title do ya?
But Fabregas will prove you wrong
He may be young but his mind is strong
And from his boot there echoed Halleluja
Halleluja....etc
Well you've heard of young Adebayor
He'll score 2 goals or 3 or 4
But you don't think he'll put one passed you do ya?
With a killer ball from Fabregas
And Ade stepping on the gas
The Crowd errupts to raise the Halleluja
Halleluja... etc
They stand 10 yards back in the wall
Van Persie places down the ball
But you don't think that you can stop it do ya?
Well he smashed it high and round the wall
The dip and swerve confused them all
And from the stands we drew the Halleluja
Halleluj...etc
Well it comes to this the final day
"They'll never win" the critics say
But you can feel the fear that's running through ya.
With passing so sublime that night
We're 2 goals up and still we fight
The final whistle blows the Halleluja
Halleluja... etc..
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The legendary Timo Glock,
didn't change his tires and began to rock,
and out of know where Lewis went a through ya
Went a through ya, went a through ya
went a through ya, went a through ya
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Andy Murray he had a blast,
He rose up the rankings extremely fast,
And now he's on for slam in 2009.
He beat the Fed and Nadal too,
He puts it down to his fitness crew,
Lets hope he wins a slam in the new year
Come on wiiiiin, come on wiiiin
So we can all forgeeeeeet about Tim.
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Geordie version
When Keegan left there was panic and fear,
But then from the dole, came Joe Kinnear.
He thinks we'll win a cup this year, but do ya?
We beat Portsmouth, we're 12th, soon 5th.
We'll get Uefa, while the Mackems drift.
And with a 4 year contract, Owen shouts Halleljuah....
Hallelujah, Hallelujah, Hallelujah, Halleluououjah.
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I heard we had a decent squad,
if Bentley stayed and didn’t think he was God,
but you don't really care for the money, do you?
He thought they would finish fourth or fifth,
but now you’re looking at the championship,
the under 21 shirt meant nothing to ya...
Nothing to ya...
Paul Ince arrived at our Blackburn,
with him came Knox and Winterburn
the papers claimed there was unrest, but that was just a rumour.
It started off well we were on a high,
but Winterburn was too busy with sky,
‘cuz after all he’s still a bloody gooner....
He’s a gooner....
Before long we were going downhill,
the Arsenal beat us 4 goals to nil,
our defence was weak you picked Simpson ahead of, Andre Ooijer.
You claimed you should have been more time,
but Wigan was the end of the line,
and now we wish that we’d have sacked you sooner...
Sacked you sooner...
But now we’ve brought in big fat Sam,
we hope he’s got a better plan,
you don’t mind if we play the long ball, do ya?
He’s brought cheer back to Blackburn folk,
cuz we won three nil against the Stoke,
the fans all went home and sang the Hallelujah...
Hallelujah...
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utter rubbish! poor exuse, for every sad nugget to write a load of codswhollop!!
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'morefooljah'
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i heard there was a stoke city,
who had just made history,
by scoring all there goals from a long throw,
ooh Rory ooh Rory ooh Rory oooooooooh Rory
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Scolari....
You came and you drew with the toffees
You could of been top, Scolari
U new it, You blew it, For Chelsea...
Because your POOOOOOOOOOOO
Barry Manilow - Mandy
Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeey, Hey Fergie
OOH AHH
I wanna no, ooh ohhh
What its like in 4th :D
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Macca - being a liverpool fan you are well aware of what its like in 4th.
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Mark Viduka
Mark Viduka
Mark Vidukaaaaaaaaaaaa
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I heard there was a Referee.
While everyone could not agree,
Why you sent Ade off, huh?
He pulled out the card showing red,
Even though Arbeloa was hardly in a hospital bed, but you don't care about that much do ya?
Not a clue-a, Not a clue-a, Not a clue-a, Not a clue-a, Not a clue-ooo-a
Well the final matter was Arbeloa fell on his ass,
While Liverpool just could not pass.
But that says a lot about the scouse don't it
In spite of this this,
Keane just took the piss,
With a clean strike past Almunia
Almunia, Almunia, Almunia, Almunia, Almun-ooo-nia
It ended up as a boring draw,
But seeing Benitez's face made me guffaw,
As I hate the reds so much
It goes like this,
they will be forth or fifth
Probably beaten by Aston Villa
Aston Villa, Aston Villa, Aston Villa, Aston Villa, Aston Vill-illl-aa
You will see this at number 1 next week Pahahaha
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Now I've heard there was a special boot
Pinky coloured, and it pleased Bendtner
But you don't really care for football, do ya?
It goes like this
The bad touch, bad hit
The minor groan, the major rift
Wenger changed the captain oh hallelujah
Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Your fans were strong but he needed proof
We beat the Mancs, but beaten by the hoof
The simple and boring style overthrew ya
The fans didst boo
To your despair
You prayed for the fans, to take some care
And from your prays we gave a break to Eboue-ya
Young Cesc Fabregas please dont go
We'll get trophies, combatative Lucho
When your past 30 we will let you move ya.
Now your out for 4 months old
Stay inside or you'll be cold
You wouldnt be out fo-or loger
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
(Lady Nina-Bracewell)
There was a time you let me know
What's really going on in the board
But now you never tell it to me, do you?
And remember when I bought the shares
An you said you would treat me fair's
Yes Mr.Fiszman you charmed me now you've ruined ma
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah
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Well Curbishley came to Upton Park,
They all said he would be our spark,
But Tevez said you didn't have a clue-ah!
Then 6 months later down the line,
We just stayed up and then all was fine,
But every fan decided they would boo ya!
They would boo ya, they would boo ya, they would boo ya, they would boooooo ya!
The next season, it wasn't great!
We finished 10th, but we were a state,
The football was so boring, where's the boozer?
From Faubert to Craig Bellamy,
Your signings were so $h!T£ you see,
That every Hammer thought you were a loser!
You're a loser, you're a loser, you're a loser, you'rea loooooser!
We sold Anton and Georgie Mac,
You said you left, you deserved the sack,
For sending all of West Ham to a snoozer!
Then suddenly Zola came to us,
He brought good football and a safe touch,
And everyone was shouting "HALLELUJAH!"
HALLELUJAH! HALLELUJAH! HALLELUJAH! HALLELUUUUJAH!
HALLELUUUUUUUUUJAH!
HALLELUUUUUUUUUJAH!
HALLELUUUUUUUUUJAH!
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For Chelsea he's a left winger
Running onto a pass from Bosingwa
His skill with the ball, it overthrew ya
And he floats his cross into the box
Anelka's in there like a fox
A goal crafted by one Florent Malouda
Florent Maloooouda-Florent malouda
Florent Malouda-oh Maloooooooo-oooooo-ooouda
As strikers go he isn't thin
but 12 yards out, he's a shoe in
The ball comes off his boot like a bazooka
And as Owen shoots you can bet
He'll follow up, and it's in the net
For the Toon army, it's Mark Viduka!
Mark Viduka, Mark Viduka, Mark Viduka
Mark Viduuuuuuuuu-uuuuuuu-uuuuuka
He plays along side Steve Warnock,
Striker shoots, he's there to block
And he's dutch, but you don't know that, do ya?
He plays one-two with santa cruz
shoots 40 yards wide, but noone boos
Becaus there's only been one Andre Ooijer
Andre Ooijer, Andre Ooijer Andre Ooijer
Andre Ooooooooo-ooooooo-ooooooijer
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the referree has sent me off
just because i knocked one off
in the corner! in the corner,
in the corner, in the corner
the crowd were singing let him be,
whilst i was screaming look at me,
and then the referee began to stroke me,
hes a wa****, hes a wa****
hes a wa****, hes a wa****
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Liverpool sititng top of the tree
Closely followed bye chelseaaa
The villians are looking very kind
Man utd 2 games out
Arsenal are clowning about
its all horrific in the title raceee
title raceee , title raceee , title raceee
title raceeeeee
Hull city just look at them
And then behind its everton
Fulham are looking good from hereee
bolton wanderers holidng tight
Portsmouth are up for the fight
Its looking close in the mid table battle
mid tableeee , mid tableee , mid tablee , midd tableeeee
wigan are looking grand
the toon army will always stand
sunderland are close on their rivalssss
the boro ohh what a pitty
and omg its stoke cityyy
you just cant be safe from relegationnnn
relegation .... relegation ...relegation ....relegationnnnn
the mighty spurs are climbing up
the poor hammers are looking fed up
and whats going on at rich club cityyyy
and then the rovers with big sammm
and piling up is tough west brom
there's such a fight in the premiershipppp
premiershipp , premiershippp , premiersippp
premierrrrshipppp
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Fernando Torres is the man
He's part of Rafa's masterplan
He scores the goals and so then we beat ya
With Stevie G, he pulls the strings
Albert and Dirk out on the wings
Up from the Kop the cry goes 'Hallelujah!'
Hallelujah,Hallelujah, Hallelujah, Hallelujah, Hallelujah.
Jamie and Dan are at the back
And Pepe Reina has the knack
Of keeping out your goals, so - ya boo ya!
Mascherano kicks them all
Xabi then does pass the ball
Up from the Kop the cry goes 'Hallelujah!'
Hallelujah, Hallelujah, Hallelujah, Hallelujah, Hallelujah.
With Rafa we'll go all the way
The Premiership will come to stay
The title - is so long overdue, yea
United they will soon subside
Chelsea now are on the slide
Up from the Kop the cry goes 'Hallelujah!'
Hallelujah, Hallelujah, Hallelujah, Hallelujah, Hallelujah.
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We need Comedy Dave from The Chris Moyles show to do it for us :) http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=Rrf2GOKAIVc
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They said he was too injury prone
But against West Ham he played alone
And scored not one but two - ahhh
Louis Saha, Louis Saha
He's the boy they call Marouane
He's 6ft5 and he's the man
But he's got a bad hair doo - ahhh
Dodgy doo - ahhh , dodgy doo - ahhh
Any everton players anyone?
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I heard there was a special team
That Coyle managed and it pleased Kilby
but you don't like playing the long ball do ya
Well it goes like this the forth, the fifth
and now we are playing in round six
The longside chanting the mighty Owen Coyle
Owen Coyle...Owen Coyle...Owen Coyle...Owen Coyle
Well Chelsea were strong but needed prove
Too stop the clarets raising the roof
and Ade's goal truely suprised you
Drogba was banned for three games
Beast put Obi-Mikel to shame
and from our lips we sang the Owen Coyle
Owen Coyle...Owen Coyle...Owen Coyle...Owen Coyle
The Gooners have been to the Turf before
Hit us for two and it displeased us all
but Wenger truely couldn't handle the long ball
The youngsters were truely beat
With the Beast diving down at Bendtner's feet
There was a cold but very joyful Owen Coyle
Owen Coyle...Owen Coyle...Owen Coyle...Owen Coyle
Well McDonald's goals, had Wenger taking the blame
There youngsters were full of shame
and now Burnley are off towards White hart Lane
All 3800 tickets sold out
Lots of Burnley fans to give the boys a shout
and every word was praising Owen Coyle
Owen Coyle...Owen Coyle...Owen Coyle...Owen Coyle
Well, Tottenham will come on the 21st
Will there bubble finally burst
or will Clarets hearts finally be broken
We will find our fate at the Turf
We hope Tottenham will end out Worse
but we will still love the Owen Coyle
Owen Coyle...Owen Coyle...Owen Coyle...Owen Coyyyyyllllllleeeeee!!!!!!!!!!
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I heard there was a special game
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I heard there was a special game,
All Nation's play
the champions Spain
But you wouldnt know that would you Yankee
The ball is passed with skill and grace
Theres no time outs just constant pace
And no one stops the clock when they are losing
This is football, this is football, this is football, this is fooooooooooooootbaaaal.
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Chris Charle's one is lame and limp beyond belief (though I'm sure I wouldnt be able to do much better) - Folkface one is brilliant, but most of the ones here are much better than chris'...
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Re-write
I heard there was a special team
that beat Arsenal and Chelsea
buy you don't really care for small teams do ya
Drogba threw a coin in the crowd
Burnley fans were just to loud
and from our lips we sang the mighty Owen Coyle
OC...OC...OC...OC............................
I just thought of the first 2 lines and were going to use it as an origional but it never worked! Some good efforts i've seen! Funny too XD
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Paul le Guen he took the job
Ferguson cried "aw no him he's a dob!"
He didnt care for researching his new job did he?
He tried 4-4-2, he tried 4-5-1, in the end he tried 2-7-1 but it couldnt stop the Savo scoring 2 past 'ye!
Scoring 2 past'ye!, Scoring 2 past'ye!, Scoring 2 past'ye!, Scoring 2 paaaaaaast -yeoooooouuua!,
Still easily the best thing to happen to St Johnstone in the last 5 years - Rangers 0 -2 St Johnstone 8th Nov 2007!
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here's a wee alternative version i wrote about Rory Delap and stoke city:
Stoke City arrive in town
Pulis wears his cap as a crown
And he will reign on strongly rule Britannia
There is no hope, their doomed to fail
But Tony’s got the holy grail
Defences wield to the might of Rory Delap
Rory Delap Rory Delap
Rory Delap Rory Delap
The premier league, where they belong
All the plaudits, all the gongs
Ricardo Fuller’s earring sparkles brightly
In spite of the critics he rose to the top
Despite the claims his team would flop
The missile throw of his boy Rory Delap
Rory Delap Rory Delap
Rory Delap Roary Delap
Dave Kitson demands a first team role
But come on ginge, you can’t buy a goal
The crowd cheers loud when Tony decides to hook ya
The clock ticks down, Bolton are one up
We a need a throw-in to the lift the FA cup
Megson heart sinks at the sight of Rory Delap
Rory Delap Rory Delap
Rory Delap Rory Delap
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there was a man called john terry
score one penalty to be merry
but he slipped and cried to his mum telula
waaaa telula..... waaa telula...... waaa teluuuula
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I heard he was at least six foot tall
And liked to set an impenatrable wall
But you don't really care for keepers do ya?
Lehmanns gone, and we need a man
Who can stop a ball with his hands
And wenger said that man was Al-mu-nia
Al-mu-nia, Almunia
Al-mu-nia, Almunia
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Well Bryan Robson was a chump
And soon the board gave him the hump
And we got someone to do the job
Who got paid the total of 50 bob
And his name was Kevin Blackwell
Kevin Blackwell, Kevin Blackwell, Kevin Bla-aaa-aaackwell
As soon as he came we started to win
And the fans in the Kop started to sing
For we looked like making the play offs
And it all came down to the very last day
Unfortunately for us we were away
Against the Saints who went and beat us 3-2
We lost 3-2, we lost 3-2, we lost 3-2
And in the summer Kev bought and bought
Cos it was promotion that we sought
But since then we've just played OK
Just played OK, Just played OK, Just played OOOOOK
But we'll be there at Wembley in May
And I'm sure there will be plenty who say
Birmingham wil beat us by 10 goals!
But with Morgs at the back
Who takes no flack
I'm sure we can come out on top
We'll sing Hallelujah, Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Just for the Blades out there!
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Mid December & It's curtains on another sporting year
Some partial figures, none to instill the fear
There is a silver lining, some shouts that I hear
Hallelujah, I've missed an event, my joyous cheer
Hallelujah, there is something to cheer
Hallelujah, there is something to cheer
What's the silver lining? I want to be in the clear
It's Moscow they shout, you clumsy, sleeping bear
Reds are Europe's champs, European trophy is here
Not enough for you? We believe it deserves a cheer
Hallelujah! there is something to cheer
Hallelujah! there is something to cheer
Don't want to take away the joy, if it's so dear
But there are some reasons why it's not completely here
Not interested in seeing or is it just a compulsive cheer
Ownership up for grabs, just don't want to shed a tear
Hallelujah, still want to shout a cheer
Hallelujah, still want to shout a cheer
Let's end on a high note
Forget the sporting pain and just grab a beer
It's that time the year, remember, Christmas is here
Turkey's our elusive cup, shout aloud the missing cheer
Hallelujah, it's just a festive cheer
Hallelujah, it's just a festive cheer
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Mate, this one's a bit silly. However, Away in a Strange Land is an absolute peach!! hahahaha
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2008 was the year we learned
That glory is not bought, but earned
As Chelsea finally crashed and burned
in Moscow, yeah!
But more than that, we realised
The Big 4 clubs (always despised)
Arent all there is, there's something else
to do, yeah!
The big stuff happened in Beijing
With the great Rebecca Adlington
Who won twice for Britain in the pool, yeah
That was cool, yeah
We won in the ring, and with the oars
Ainslie, you knew gold was yours
We even won one with a strange canoe, yeah
and ohourougou, she won too-oo
But best of all, the velodrome
Our boys and girls brought treasure home
Wiggins, Cooke, Pendleton, you all flew, yeah
and Chris Hoy, the Olympic Great
did what wasnt done since 1908
the plaudits really have to go to you, sir
Three for you, sir
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I heard there was a secret outboard
The helped Bolt break the record
But you don't really care for cheating, Do ya?
It goes like this from fourth to fifth
By Timo's fall, almost a gift
The baffled King composing Hallelujah
Hallelujah,Hallelujah,Hallelujah,Hallelujah
Well Your faith was strong but you needed proof
But Eduardo became no use
His injury and a lost of form overthrew you
To Ronaldo, none could compare
He broke Chelsea's throne to Terry's dispair
And in Russia they sang the Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Well baby I've been here before
It wasnt the first time I'd seen England fall
You only won anything before I knew ya
I've seen your flag on BBC
And though cycling means little to be
When you won I sang your Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Well maybe there's a God above
Who gave Derby an almight shove
Or maybe everyone was too good for ya
And it's not a cry that you hear at night
It's not somebody who's seen the light
It was just Fulham singing Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Hallelujah
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