Old Firm win will bring final furlong into sight
High noon at Ibrox on a summer afternoon - but it will be early dark for the losers as the Old Firm clear their throats for the season's last song together.
Let's not mince words. It's winner takes all. The balance of power could swing in a heartbeat.
I still think Celtic will win the championship, not because I said so before a ball was kicked and I'm not for u-turning, but because they embrace a single, precious point of advantage.
Rangers need to win on Saturday, Celtic can afford not to, although a victory would have Gordon Strachan's side within sight of the finish line.
Strachan and Rangers counterpart Walter Smith have spent the season insisting that both would drop points left, right and centre and you cannot deny the accuracy of their forecasts.
Furthermore, if ever, in this last 20 years or so, there was chance to rip up their game of Monopoly, then it might have been the winter just gone.
But in the days that are left in this tortured season, Saturday's victors will not stumble again. Three games will remain and if the defending champions win at Ibrox they can even afford to lose another fixture.
This is the Spaghetti Junction of crossroads for them both.
A year ago, Rangers were getting ready for the Uefa Cup final and yet three months later they had been removed from the following season's European competitions by a team from Lithuania.
That immediately - because Ibrox fans suffer from short-term memory - had Walter Smith stooping like Atlas with the weight of the world on his shoulders.
If he wins the next four matches he will have dealt with the situation like a seal with a beach ball.
The club's owner denies they are in financial meltdown, but it would be wrong to suggest the bank hasn't turned up the heat on the toaster. And therefore the guaranteed Champions' League place that the title would bring would take them to the Pearly Gates of football Valhalla.
In many ways this has been a season of dross. Balls battered black and blue by footballers who couldn't make a pass through the Arc De Triomphe without hitting a wall.
And you can't put footballers on a surface like Fir Park and expect them to paint pretty pictures. All you get is football graffiti.
Barcelona have the look of a once-in-a-lifetime team about them, so it would hardly be fair to compare the SPL's finest but I do sometimes wonder if I am watching a different sport.
And yet for all that, the Old Firm could possibly do what we asked, namely take it to the last seconds of the last minute of the last hour of the season. And so we should really be grateful for small mercies.
Except if Celtic win on Saturday even that small thrill will be denied us.
"Tell them who you are and what you are about," they said. To be honest, there are days when I struggle to remember myself. Forty years toiling at the coalface of football journalism does that to you. But I have reason to believe that I have reached the heady heights of the title of Football Correspondent of BBC Scotland which gives me a renown, in Scottish terms, of somewhere between Alex Salmond and the deep fried Mars Bar.
© MMIX~RS~q~RS~~RS~z~RS~59~RS~)
Comments
Sign in or register to comment.
So, in 1000 words or whatever, all you've managed to say is.....this match is important?
Complain about this comment
The rather poor manager that is Mixu, and his team shall have a say in where this title goes! both sets have to visit ER, and Celtic have managed only one win in three years at ER (thanks to the 'Hole'y hands of Artur Boruc). Rangers always get a good game from hibs and I can imagine there being some drama there over the next fortnight or so.
How insulting is that Celtic are annoyed that Rangers will have to play hibs away three times rather than Hearts away twice. Rangers have played more than 5 teams three times away from home in one season as opposed to one (i think) for celtic?!
ER is hard place to go - unless you are Dundee Utd or Kilmarnock
Complain about this comment
"The Pearly Gates of football Valhalla"!? Who wasn't paying attention at Sunday school?
But not as good as "This is the Spaghetti Junction of crossroads for them both." I can't work out if that's a sentence suffering from too few words or too many.
Still, at least we've got Chick to explain the complexeties of the three-points-for-a-win league system.
Complain about this comment
This comment was removed because the moderators found it broke the House Rules.
"And yet for all that, the Old Firm could possibly do what we asked, namely take it to the last seconds of the last minute of the last hour of the season. And so we should really be grateful for small mercies.
Except if Celtic win on Saturday even that small thrill will be denied us."
So, a Celtic win will not be what you're looking for this Saturday then? You do surprise me Charles, you really do(!)
Complain about this comment
My mate Walksy beleived that the Jambo's would take 3 points off both sides of the old firm after the split ( He's on medication). This leaque will forever be a two horse race!
Complain about this comment
I have an awful feeling we're (Celtic) going to win on Saturday and then bottle it the last couple of fixtures. Too many poor players in a squad that desperately needs strengthening in the summer please.
Complain about this comment
This comment was removed because the moderators found it broke the House Rules.
This comment was removed because the moderators found it broke the House Rules.
Forty years toiling at the coalface of football journalism.
Chick, my grandad spent forty years toiling at real coalfaces in pits across West Fife and frankly were he still alive today I think he could have written a better blog than that.
Complain about this comment
This is the Spaghetti Junction of crossroads for them both.
This must be the worst sentence I have ever read.
Complain about this comment
High noon at Ibrox on a summer afternoon - but it will be early dark for the losers as the Old Firm clear their throats for the season's last song together.
This blog is a spaghetti western of macaroni cheese.
early dark...?
Complain about this comment
"Let's not mince words."
Aye, why mince when you can mangle?
Complain about this comment
This blog is awaiting a football journalist.
Complain about this comment
I thought you turned the corner with the last blog Chick. Don't want to be really harsh but that didn't really tell us nout we didn't already know. score draw on saturday btw, you heard it here!
Complain about this comment
Well...there's a few minutes of my life i'll never get back.
You've got a real knack for taking something simple (and that everyone already knows), complicating it by throwing in silly analogies, and reaching the obvious conclusion that anyone reading can see coming from a very, very early stage in the piece.
Complain about this comment
This comment was removed because the moderators found it broke the House Rules.
Another blog, another opportunity to express your love for Rangers.
Complain about this comment
This comment was removed because the moderators found it broke the House Rules.
Sorry, not sure why my comment has been "referred" .... Chick uses the word "dross", to describe this seasons football .... I merley compared this to his blog!!
Complain about this comment
chick,lets get real here.this fixture has provided some of the worst football matches in living memory.absolute garbage quality matches.go see a real exciting game with quality play.come to tannadice and check out united beat dons on thursday
Complain about this comment
Another Old Firm game, yawn!!! 0-0
Complain about this comment
Most pointless Blog Of The Season goes to.....Chic Young.
Complain about this comment
Was this Chic's attempt to compete with the Robbo Robson blog? My goodness. Painful, just painful to read. I felt embarrassed for ou Chic:
"High noon at Ibrox on a summer afternoon - but it will be early dark for the losers as the Old Firm clear their throats for the season's last song together."
"This is the Spaghetti Junction of crossroads for them both."
"That immediately - because Ibrox fans suffer from short-term memory - had Walter Smith stooping like Atlas with the weight of the world on his shoulders.
If he wins the next four matches he will have dealt with the situation like a seal with a beach ball."
"The club's owner denies they are in financial meltdown, but it would be wrong to suggest the bank hasn't turned up the heat on the toaster. And therefore the guaranteed Champions' League place that the title would bring would take them to the Pearly Gates of football Valhalla."
"In many ways this has been a season of dross. Balls battered black and blue by footballers who couldn't make a pass through the Arc De Triomphe without hitting a wall."
"And you can't put footballers on a surface like Fir Park and expect them to paint pretty pictures. All you get is football graffiti."
What utter nonsense Chic. Please, for all our sakes don't attempt this again. Leave the comedy to Robbo.
You have set yourself up for fall yet again!
Complain about this comment
Speaking of short memories Chick - in MON's last season, Rangers hosted Celtic in the fourth last game, lost and went 5 points adrift with just 3 games to go. Yet they still won the league by a point.
If Celtic win on Saturday, they will be 4 points clear with 3 games to go. A very nice advantage, yes, but as proved a few short years ago, certainly not enough to conclude the league is over.
I'm a Celtic fan, and I think it's entirely plausible that we will win at Ibrox, then draw with Hibs and Dundee Utd, which would mean we could be all square again going into the last game.
Why do the Scottish media insist on sticking to their mantra that Old Firm games decide the league? That very rarely turns out to be the case.
Complain about this comment
Any chance of an article about the second season in a row that 3 teams are fighting it out for the uefa places (plural this year anyway). Does chick ever reply to these? Probably not because St Mirren fans don't accept criticism very well. My Dad, his Uncle and my late Grandfather are/were St Mirren fans and cannot/could not accept criticism and that's why they're secretly Rangers fans.
Go on United!
Complain about this comment
I just wanted to add a big thankyou to comments 3,10,12,13,14 & 16 this week. The only reason I ever read this is to amuse myself reading Chicks piece being ripped apart.
After a particularly painful article you all managed to save me.
My particular favourite this week: Comment 1: "So, in 1000 words or whatever, all you've managed to say is.....this match is important?"
Superb. 1 sentence that is funnier than everything Chick attempted to write put together.........and he's he one getting paid!
Complain about this comment
Chick for First Minister of Scotland!
He has plenty of experience - 40 years toiling at the coalface of football journalism to be exact.
Complain about this comment
HUH-HUH-HUH! Chick Young here...
Complain about this comment
Walter's favourite media puppet is back!
You seem to have short term memory loss Chick, where were the midfield reinforcements, that Walter 'knew' we needed at the end of last season, for the Kaunas match? Who played one man up front against Kaunas and proceeded to defend a 1 goal lead?
Complain about this comment
This i is a important game eh? lol
Complain about this comment
This comment was removed because the moderators found it broke the House Rules.
Chick, your blog gets worse and worse everytime that I read it. Your metaphors fail to the highest degree
Complain about this comment
This comment was removed because the moderators found it broke the House Rules.
Wee Man - I'm confused. You say that you think Celtic will win the League as they are one point ahead at the moment. You then go on to say that they can afford to lose. But if that happens, Rangers would be two points clear, i.e. double Celtics current advantage and surely by your measure Rangers would then be twice as likely to win the League as Celtic currently are. So surely Celtic can't afford to lose ... and your hypothesis makes no sense!
Complain about this comment
This comment was removed because the moderators found it broke the House Rules.
Having lived on the warm side of Hadrian's wall for many many moons, I still take a passing interest in Scottish fitba, and as the local will show this game on Sat just thought would do a bit of background reading (beats working)
I'm absolutely stunned by this 'blog'. It's the most painful, tortured, deluded peice of writing I may have EVER seen, and I teach sixth formers!
Is he really BBC football correspondent? Surely not? Who else went for that job interview?
All that drivel just to say he hopes celtic don't win!!!
Should I go back and read previous efforts, or will it send me to the funny farm?
Complain about this comment
A superb piece of journalism Chic - truly outstanding. Well done indeed. On the basis of your superior writing skills I expect you to be nominated for some, if not all, of the following - the Nobel Prize in Literature, the Man Booker Prize, the Pulitzer Prize, the Whitbread Awards, the Neustadt Prize and the Hugo Awards.
Complain about this comment
awful blog chic! shame, cos i was lookin forward to a decent auld firm build up!... but you've jst wasted everyones time!....
Complain about this comment
I've had a butchers at some of this fella's previous efforts, hoping this was a one off... no such luck!
I am seriously amazed at this, also worried. Does no-one from the BBC have any editorial role over this drivel, and if they do, how on earth does it get published?
I hold no candle for any one side of the divide in Glasgow, so I feel qualified, as a tax payer, to ask
"What the hell are you doing employing, and PAYING this man? Are you happy that every one of his blogs are ridiculed endlessly and deservedly? Is this what you want, responses responses responses, even if to pour scorn on the man's work?"
As i wrote that last bit I had a thought, are the BBC deliberately putting this out, knowing that it's not fit for purpose, just to let punters mock this man? Like a clown who doesnt even know he's a figure of contempt. If true then shame on you BBC.
Complain about this comment
Not wanting to jump on the band wagon but how the heck do you get away with it, week in and out we are subjected to the what can only be described as highland league quality of journalism. I will not read another blog again
With the greatest respect to Third Lanark, could you do the same please
Complain about this comment
Truely awful blog. Last week's was Chico's high water mark, and yet immediately the tide goes out (you can have that one for free, Chick) for this week's effort.
I've come to the conclusion that you're conducting a similar experiment to that Music Executive who came up with Vanilla (that girl band that sang 'No way, No way (mana-mana)'), in that you're seeing just how far you can push things and still get away with it. I can't believe that a journalist of your experience (40 years at the coalface, no less!) would write such utter tripe and not be taking the mickey?
Complain about this comment
Your blog is certantly like a deep fried Mars Bar.....AWFUL
Complain about this comment
Chick,
Do you ever have a good word to say about anyone or anything in Scottish Football?
"Balls battered black and blue by footballers who couldn't make a pass through the Arc De Triomphe without hitting a wall."
I think this is a disgraceful comment to make. The SPL obviously lacks the footballing pedigree of many other leagues but to continually criticise players and teams does not make for interesting journalism.
If you are so dejected at the state of Scottish Football why do you continue to write about it...the money must be decent enough....
Complain about this comment
This blog is on par with the SPL...or maybe I shouldn't do this declining league too big a dis-service...
Complain about this comment
This blog is of a similar standard to the SPL...or maybe I shouldn't do this declining league such a big dis-service
Complain about this comment
TraGhear
aye the money will be good, and if you're based in the uk, you like me , are paying for him.
Maybe the bbc can let us send cheques to chick to NOT write this, it's not funny.
Complain about this comment
Maybe he gets commission based on how many times each blog is ridiculed...?
Complain about this comment
I can't believe that our licence fee goes towards this sloppy piece of journalism. Really nothing in there we didn't already know.
There is no insight, no talk of players, team line ups, tactics.....football really!!! You're suppposed to have contacts at clubs, you can interview Managers, coaches and players. Where's the inside information on this game. What have you being doing toiling at the coalface of football journalism for 40 years?
"Walter Smith stooping like Atlas with the weight of the world on his shoulders."
"All you get is football graffiti."
"This is the Spaghetti Junction of crossroads for them both."
I mean come on! Has your boss read this? How much does Chick Young pick up for this weekly nonsense. Fair play to him, easy money if you can get it!
Complain about this comment
Chick,
Lets wake up and smell the tea, the writings on the floor. People in the media, particularly you Chick, are scrutinised and criticised (quite rightly)for poor diction and word-choices. Big reputations are compromised by small errors. Come on man, if youre sitting in my shoes, you know it's not rocket surgery! Join the plain english campaign or are you too xenophobic?
Complain about this comment
If memory serves, this is at least the second time Chick has provided us with a match preview that doesn't include any footballers' names.
Quite an achievement.
Complain about this comment
Ah yes, memory does serve. There it is, the bottom link on the left: Chick's footballer-free cup final preview.
482 words here. No insight, no facts, no footballers. Mostly ridiculous cliche, mixed metaphors and what can only be mistakes. This would fail as a university essay. I wonder how much of our licence fee ends up in Chick's pockets for this.
Maybe one of the moderators could report Chick to his editor?
Complain about this comment
Chico's good on the radio though, and although some of his mangled metaphors and analogies are strange, it can be quite amusing at times.
Complain about this comment
Somebody let Graeme Speirs take over please.
Complain about this comment
Sorry, but I have to comment again. I have finally worked it out:
The joke is on all of us. Chick is obviously doing this on purpose, and we have all fallen for it. He and his colleagues are clearly rolling around on their office floor at how stupid we all are for believing he's serious when he writes nonsense like this.
They must have a big check list of mistakes that he puts into the blog, and then they play bingo as each comment identifies one. "Not a player mentioned in preview..........check!", "Ridiculous use of analogies that make no sense......check!", "Use of a 5 minute read to state something so obvious it could have been said in a few sentences.........check!"
There's no way this man's for real, and no way an institution like the BBC would allow it to continue if it wasn't being ironic.........i'm on to you Chick! Good one
Complain about this comment
This blog is funny because it's beyond parody.
Utter trite nonsense and appallingly written.
Jim Traynor, Richard Gordon - all these guys are good at what they do ( even if I disagree with them frequently ). Chico however, is a very stale joke.
Would someone from BBC Scotland Online sport PLEASE refer your boss to this comments page and this blog ?
And whoever is boss, would you please take some responsibility and at least ask Chic to try to be a bit smarter and actually SAY something ? Then edge him out the door and bring in Graeme Spiers.
Chick looks like the wee guy from Slade. But there's a difference. The wee guy from Slade could probably write a paragraph.
Complain about this comment
Don't see what everyone's getting so worked up about. There's an auld firm derby this weekend and he gave a bit of build-up for it. Its not his fault there's nothing more interesting to say about the auld fim at the moment.
And I love all the critisisms about the writing when people respond using absolutely ridiculous phrases which they would never say in real life. My favourite being "Your metaphors fail to the highest degree". Its a wednesday afternoon guys, stop critisings this guys work and get on with your own
Complain about this comment
Please can the BBC Scotland sports editor read this and end our misery. This is absolutely dreadful, possibly the worst yet and given the rubbish Chick has served up, that is really saying something.
#40 is spot on, the SPL deserves a better blog than is being provided. Whatever Chick's talents may be (no comment), he cannot write a blog.
Pitiful.
Complain about this comment
This comment was removed because the moderators found it broke the House Rules.
Can we not just have Pat Nevin writing the Scottish Football blog?
When you read his Old Firm preview, it has insight, analysis, a distinct lack of dreadful, laboured metaphors and more importantly, you actually feel more informed for having read it.
Complain about this comment
Come on, Chic's blogs are like the bechamel sauce atop the lasagne of the world. He is walking on the avenue of the stars with his primary school sanshoes scuffing the dirt. His words are like a saturday afternoon boat ride on the Clyde, wet and unpleasant. He strides with his elbows on his knees.
His chest balloons like so many literary greats before him, so much so that he cannot be chased down and burst by the merest of pinpricks. His buffoonery is like that of the monkeys of the ancient forests of Mesapotamia. He drives south without the wind at his back.
You can't keep a good man down, and if you did, you'd be arrested for loafing with a skuffle-horse!
Complain about this comment
Chick is an agent of the Illuminati, they are dumbing us down to keep us dosile.
Complain about this comment
Ha, ha, ha, the only good thing about Chicos blog are the comments. I always look forward to reading them, so I suppose it may inadvertently be serving its purpose in promoting debate. Don't think Chick does it deliberately though. 40 years of journalism, ha, ha, ha
Complain about this comment
"Forty years toiling at the coalface of football journalism" and all we've got to show for it is a wee bauchle full of natural gas, smelling faintly of rotten eggs and sulphurous flatulence.
And what's
with the
random
double spacing?
William Shatner's lawyer(s) will be in touch...
Complain about this comment
chick young's blog is the best value for money on the internet because his journalism is less than amateur and he has no idea that he's the joke
it's like watching eddie the eagle edwards ski-jumping, the entertainment is in the sheer comedy of incompetence
and you just know that he thinks he's good at it (unlike eddie) so that adds extra value to his mickey mouse mixed metaphors, simple syntactical slip-ups and malodorous malapropisms,
THE CHICK IS BRAIN-DEAD: LONG LIVE THE CHICK
Complain about this comment
Ha, reading the comments after Chick's blogs is comedy gold.
Complain about this comment
The GFA didn't want a title decider, well that's just what they have, because no ref in this league will allow any team to take points of the OF. Don't really care, but how nice would it be if Rangers won the league? Why? Well just how stupid will it look after giving GS the Moty award. Ho Ho Ho
Complain about this comment
"If he wins the next four matches he will have dealt with the situation like a seal with a beach ball."
I'm puzzled by this analogy...
Surely Chic means a Sea Lion?
Evidence shows that seals don't care for beach balls:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tf5zpX147-4
Complain about this comment
This comment was removed because the moderators found it broke the House Rules.
Now that Rangers have a two point lead, does that mean Rangers cannot be caught? You know, it's perfectly possible that both of the Old Firm could lose their three remaining games, given what's at stake for 3rd and 4th place.
Complain about this comment
I normally enjoy your blogs Chick, but:
"the bank hasn't turned up the heat on the toaster"
was a cliche too far! :)
This article highlighted for me what a lot of people have been picking at all season, but I'll give you the benefit of the doubt, as you've given us some decent blogs over the past couple of months.
Complain about this comment
"GeorgetownBhoy:
Come on, Chic's blogs are like the bechamel sauce atop the lasagne of the world. He is walking on the avenue of the stars with his primary school sanshoes scuffing the dirt. His words are like a saturday afternoon boat ride on the Clyde, wet and unpleasant. He strides with his elbows on his knees.
His chest balloons like so many literary greats before him, so much so that he cannot be chased down and burst by the merest of pinpricks. His buffoonery is like that of the monkeys of the ancient forests of Mesapotamia. He drives south without the wind at his back.
You can't keep a good man down, and if you did, you'd be arrested for loafing with a skuffle-horse!"
Haha, class! :D
Complain about this comment
View these comments in RSS