Batman, Robben and Scotland
Holland have Robben in their team this weekend, but to be honest I can't see him needing Batman.
Miracle-believers apart, is there anyone of the Caledonia persuasion out there who really believes we can bring home anything more than tulips from Amsterdam?
That would be blooming unbelievable.
The Dutch of class; Mark van Bommel of Bayern, Wesley Snejder and his Real Madrid pal Arjen Robben, Van Persie of the Arsenal and Dirk Kuyt and Ryan Babel of the club in the middle of an inferno, Liverpool.
All employees of the aristocracy of the European game.
We don't send footballers to clubs like that any more, apart of course from the occasional token gesture like Darren Fletcher.
I smell big trouble.
If Scotland win in the ArenA it will be the most exciting piece of Saturday night fever since John Travolta slipped into his white suit.
No, my friends, I have already designated the shift in Amsterdam as the sacrificial lamb to the World Cup gods.
The Netherlands will - not for the first time in history - have a big hand in the unfolding of life in South Africa.
The question is: can we hang on to their clogs?
It is from Wednesday onwards that we cannot afford to put a foot wrong.
Wins against Iceland and Macedonia at home, victory in Norway and very probably another win against the Dutch at Hampden or all will be lost.
That would leave us with 16 points where now we have four.
It is a dreadful state of affairs because, although in second place, we are actually - by three points - the worst of the current runners up, and remember that only one of the nine misses out.
As it stands, that will be us.
Of course Scotland are past masters in the art of glorious failure, but even by our standards this would be a belter.
I have not yet ruled it out.
But here's the truth: things are looking so bleak that glorious failure might be relative success.
Poor George Burley. The Scotland manager has been shunted up a siding this time, partly by fate, partly his own making.
He refused to select Kris Boyd on the basis that this club manager wasn't and that led to a wee domestic between the two.
But Craig Gordon is currently at Sunderland as popular as a pork chop at a Jewish wedding and the manager looks prepared to pick him.
Re-arrange into a well known phrase or saying: goalposts... the... moving.
In truth I don't care who he plays in goal because, match fitness or not, we are blessed with two special goalies in Gordon and Allan McGregor.
But does he gamble on Allan Hutton who will have played one reserve game in the wake of an injury which has sidelined him for the winter?
It is a hell of a gamble.
Frankly, I think the manager has to push the chance button.
Hutton is a rare thoroughbred in a squad with too many international journeymen.
Put the Spurs player in with Gary Caldwell, David Weir and Gary Naysmith in the back four, have a midfield of Darren Fletcher, Scott Brown and Barry Ferguson with Paul Hartley sitting and combine Kenny Miller and Steven Fletcher up front, with the two of them working a relief shift system in the midfield and we might be on to something.
Simmer quietly and slowly bring to the boil.
Oh yes, and give the captain a break, will you?
That human punchbag Barry Ferguson will have a big part to play.
I don't get it with the Rangers player, the fact that some seem to think he has morphed into an Aunt Sally stall.
That's a number six on his back, not a target.
Ferguson and his drive and passion and lust to exorcise the memory of his last appearance in the ArenA will be a huge presence for Scotland.
It has been open season for his firing squad but at Ibrox on Saturday I witnessed a player who wanted the ball, a player who was well on the road to becoming his old self.
We'll need all of that and plenty more this weekend in old Amsterdam.
They have Robben, if no Batman.
We'll need to play our Joker...

"Tell them who you are and what you are about," they said. To be honest, there are days when I struggle to remember myself. Forty years toiling at the coalface of football journalism does that to you. But I have reason to believe that I have reached the heady heights of the title of Football Correspondent of BBC Scotland which gives me a renown, in Scottish terms, of somewhere between Alex Salmond and the deep fried Mars Bar.
~RS~q~RS~~RS~z~RS~00~RS~)
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Chico,
Yet another piece of flawed jouranalism from you. You correctly state that Holland have more quality than Scotland, but then you seem to champion the selection of Kris Boyd and Barry Ferguson. Two players hardly playing at their peak (and in Boyds case that peak is not very high). I am sure Ferguson will play because I think that Scott Brown brings out the best in Ferguson (and vice versa) - but Kris Boyd in a Scotland shirt - give me a break......
Burley refused to pick Kris Boyd on the basis Boyd was not good enough to be a starter at the international level.
Its nothing to do with moving goalposts Chic; its just you re-writing history.
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I could be wrong but as Scotland are in the 'wee group' with only 5 teams it means that we play 2 games less than the teams in the other groups. So when it comes to deciding who qualifies for a play offs the second place teams in the other groups do not count their results against the bottom team in their respective group. So in short we can't be the worst of the second place teams because 1- we dont know who has finished bottom of each group yet and 2- even with the groups as they are at present time we would be level on 4 points with several teams.
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Chick, we didn't send Darren Ferguson as "a footballer" to MU he was a youth and is just out of his nappies now. You contradict yourself by highlighting players whom we have sent Hutton, Gordon (sold on their contribution to previous campaigns) don't you have that info at your disposal..dahhh. I qoute "It has been open season for his firing squad but at Ibrox on Saturday I witnessed a player who wanted the ball, a player who was well on the road to becoming his old self"- no change their then. Barry will need to be off road and on the highway come Saturday it's no good "becoming" he must arrive -anyway he's a different player with Scotland, I'm sure he'll contribute (if selected).Your always good for a mistake or misprint Chic a bit like Jimmy Hill that way, later.
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totally disagree with yer team Chick , Kenny Miller could actually travel to other parts of Amsterdam on Saturday and still not score. we have to go for a mix of stalwarts with youth and flair
Gordon
Hutton Caldwell McManus McAlister
Ferguson D.Fletcher
Morrison Commons
Brown
Fletcer
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Sorry, Chick. Not good enough. Compare Barry Ferguson now with the player that scored enough goals from midfield to warrant a move to the Premiership. When was the last time he dominated any game, for Scotland or Rangers? Even against the poorest sides he vanishes like steam.
If Kris Boyd can't do it against the better teams, then the same complaint must be made in Ferguson's case. He may be a great shouter, but the killer pass eludes him now, and he stifles Fletcher.
The point about Boyd is that he should be the team's focal point, like Andy Cole was at Newcastle. The team's system should be built to create chances for him. If he's not, then he won't function at all as Walter Smith has proved. Alex McLeish realises that and that's why he's the one desperate to land him; he knows he guarantees 20 goals in that system.
It is Young's eagerness to protect his pals that has diminished his reputation with the listener.
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"The question is: can we hang on to their clogs?
It is from Wednesday onwards that we cannot afford to put a foot wrong."
I see what you did there Chick... Clogs... feet... feet go in clogs. You are awesome.
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Rashomon, Chick didn't champion Boyd for Scotland in this article. He correctly pointed out that Burley stated that he hadn't picked Boyd because he wasn't playing enough for his club, yet is considering picking Gordon despite the fact that he's not playing at all. Chick's not the one rewriting history here...
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Regardless, Scotland don't have the players on form just now to get a result against the Dutch. Perhaps the team as it was when it faced the Italians would have a degree of confidence, but we have too manyt players merely threatening to be on form to pose any sort of danger to the Dutch. That said, I think we'll score.
3-1 to the Dutch.
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#7
Scotland needs Fergusons experience. He might be on the wane, but he is the one player we have who can find space in a congested midfield - especially if Scott Brown is doing the running and breaking up play for him.
Boyd is an old fashioned poacher - pure and simple. Site him in the middle of the box and supply him and he will score (he's expert from the penalty spot too). In the modern game, especially against quality opposition, Boyd can't hack it. Too slow and lazy................
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#9
"Poor George Burley. The Scotland manager has been shunted up a siding this time, partly by fate, partly his own making.
He refused to select Kris Boyd on the basis that this club manager wasn't and that led to a wee domestic between the two."
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It sounds like he thinks Boyd should be played to me.
As for re-writing history, Burley said that Boyd was on the bench because he wasn't good enough to start for scotland. When Burley was challenged on this at a press conference, he pointed out that Walter Smith left him on the bench against better teams too ie he said it after Boyd walked out on Scotland.
Craig Gordon is international quality, Kris boyd isn't. The two situations aren't comparable.
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Burley not picking Boyd because he wasnt getting picked regularly for Rangers is not the full story. There were 5 strikers in the squad, and out of the five, Boyd had played the least amount of first team football at that stage of the season. Iwelumo was on a fine run of form, playing and scoring regularly and was given the nod on that basis. Hindsight tells us that Burley got that one wrong but what happened was unimaginable.
The cases of Gordon and Hutton are very different to Boyd. Sure they are not playing regularly, but they have proven in the past to be the best players we have in those positions and merit selection on that basis.
George Burley is the Scotland manager, nobody else. He will stand or fall by the decisions he makes. If he wants to play certain players he shouldn't have to justify it to the media, who will eventually turn it around and throw any reasoning he has back in his face.
We can still rise now...
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When it all boils down to it, if we were to get something out of this game, even a point, taking into account injuries and recent form, it would be bigger than the result in France. Bigger, in fact, than any Scottish result i can remember in the last decade or two.
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Chic,
I think previous posters are right - you are re-writing history with regards to Boyd. Burley didn't say he wasn't selected because he wasn't getting a regular game. He questioned the players attitude, and then pointed out that Smith doesn't give him a regular game, so perhaps the press should ask him about Boyd as well.
Let's get this right - In the sort of game that Scotland are facing on Saturday, you believe that Kris Boyd is the sort of player we need?!?
As you yourself have already intimated, it's going to be backs to the wall stuff, and having Boyd in the team would be as good as having 10 men in that situation. Seriously, have you watched Boyd recently for Rangers?!?
Also, David Weir in the team? It's not Kilmarnock we're playing on Saturday. He'd get skinned time and again by Van Persie and Robben, in fact any number of Dutch players. I'd love to see Berra in there, but I think we know it's going to be McManus and Caldwell.
And much as I'd like us to have Miller and Fletcher up front, I think we all know it's going to be Miller on his own, with Brown or Ferguson trying to support him when the opportunity allows (and Barry Robson making up the numbers in midfield....)
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Boyd & Gordon aren't even close to be considered the same situations. You cannot justify comments on moving the goalposts for Gordon.
Burley should have come out and said the truth ... Boyd is lazy and didn't show any commitment in training etc.
Darren Fletcher was on Soccer AM and in his interview even said he hadn't come across someone so lazy in training.
Lets face it unless Boyd is playing agaisnst Dundee United or Hamilton he is unlikley to score.
Lets move on without any more mention of him and work with some of the young players that may have the potential.
On the larger scale it's the SFA's own fault for the quality of coaching staff at grass root level for problems the National Squad is experiencing. The majorityy of their coaches are young boys just out of school whereas England have enrolled numerous ex professionals.
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Actually, while we're on the subject - can anyone point to a successful team that still employs an old fashioned 'poacher' like Boyd? I can't. Football has changed a lot, only Chic doesn't seem to have cottoned onto that. You only have to look at Spain - always the bridesmaid until they got rid of Raul up front(although I think I'm being generous to Boyd by even mentioning him in the same paragraph), and discovered that a hard working, unselfish striker was exactly what their team needed, or even the top 4 in the Premiership. None of them has a poacher, they all have flexible, hard working players up front - and also explains why Owen is still at Newcastle, because none of the other big clubs are interested in someone so limited.
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#9 Chick didn't correctly point out anything in this nonsense!
Boyd was picked for Scotland. The manager decided that he would be on the bench. There wasn't a 'domestic' as Chick puts it between the two either. Boyd decided that he didn't want to play for Scotland if he wasn't to be in the starting eleven. As #13 has correctly pointed out, there were better options than Boyd.
His recent reaction to be losing his starting place at Rangers says everything about Boyd's character (or lack of!)
Boyd scores goals in games Rangers are dominating and creating lots of chances in. In games where Rangers aren't capable of dominating Boyd offers very little.
Boyd's name in the line-up against Holland would be like playing with a man down!
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Were all doomed!
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Park the bus. Go for 0-0. The dutch aren't amazing, although not one of our boys would get in their side. How often do we see appalling football teams get results? It may just be our turn. Ferguson has to play because of his experience, but he should shut his whiny trap and play football instead. He used to be alright. I'd rather play Iwelumo than Boyd or Miller. At least he's scoring goals in a competetive league for a decent side. He and Fletcher up front would at least provide a bit of variety.
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I disagree with you, Chick.
The issue is not merely one of 'playing for their club versus not playing for their club' but also of the competition for places.
For example, in Boyd's case, it was a question of whether you play him when he is not even getting a game for Rangers or do you play Iwelumo (in form for Wolves at the top of a league which is probably more competitive and challenging than the spl) and Fletcher (doing well for a smaller team in difficult circumstances)? Burley chose the latter then but neither Iwelumo nor Fletcher are in form now and so the only obstacle to Boyd getting picked now is his attitude which, sadly, has let him down.
The goalkeeping situation, on the other hand, is one where there are only two goalkeepers in serious contention: McGregor and Gordon. (Incidentally, I would pick McGregor anyway). So it is a choice between a goalkeeper playing every week in a poor league and a player competing for a place in a team which plays in a good league - a somewhat narrower choice with less room for manouvre than the strikers situation.
I think to talk about Burley 'moving the goalposts' (if that is indeed what the answer to that particular riddle was) is a bit simplistic.
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Chick –
Concentrate and think back to September 2007 – and a balmy evening in Gay Paree….
Remove the Robben, van Persie et al in this weeks blog and replace with Ribery, Anelka, Malouda, Trezuget, etc.
See what you’ve got there? A piece of history waiting to repeat itself.
Your pessimism – nay fatalism – is most unbecoming Chick. Shame on you wee man. Expected better from you.
Come on Scotland!! – lets get tore intae these clog-wearing prima-donnas!!
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I saw Iwelumo play for Wolves last Saturday, he certainly didn't look an international player, but perhaps because he was well marked for the whole game. Apparently Kenny Miller is out, so the big man might not be a bad option for this game?
I don't think anyone has mentioned the missing defenders, but that is worrying. Without Weir and McManus, I'm a bit worried.
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#13
"The cases of Gordon and Hutton are very different to Boyd. Sure they are not playing regularly, but they have proven in the past to be the best players we have in those positions and merit selection on that basis."
I agree with Hutton but how has Gordon "proven to be the best player?" He has played more games for Scotland that's true, but when McGregor's played he hasn't looked out of place. He did well against Argentina. People talk about McGregor not having enough experience in the national side but he has MUCH more experience when it comes to European football. Gordon has played 2 CL qualifiers and 2 UC qualifiers if I remember correctly. McGregor showed his quality last season with some superb saves (Werder Bremen??) and has been on form again this season after a poor start.
McGregor deserves to play as he is a quality keeper and is playing well and regularly. Gordon is a quality keeper as well but when it comes down to it McGregor has to just shade it. They're both about equal ability wise.
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JAMESY1873, you're not wrong. Results against the bottom teams in other groups don't count when they're deciding who's the worst second-placed team, so essentially we could finish five points behind another second placed team and still qualify for the play-offs.
A win, a draw and a defeat from our first three games and Chick thinks we're out of it? Cheers for that Chick, are you trying to put the Tartan Army on their downers before a big, fun trip to Amsterdam?
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Chick: May already have been mentioned but in deciding the playoff spots, the results from the bottom teams are discarded. As we don't yet know know the bottom teams it is hard to compare our position to any other second placed team.
8: I mainly agree with your post but would point out Berbatov for Man Utd. Everytime i've seen him he looks lazy and disinterested. Can't argue with his goals ratio for Tottenham last season though!
22: Totally agree! Stoke are a prime example of this. Horrific to watch but it seems to be keeping them in the Premiership.
If we can get 10 players behind the ball and stifle them, maybe rough them up a bit as well i think we have a chance of catching them out on the break and from set plays.
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Just as you describe Ferguson as a human punchbag, you seem to be the whipping boy of Scottish football journalists. I'm getting sick of Old Firm fans using your blogs, especially when they have nothing to do with their respective clubs, (something an Old Firm fan seems unable to comprehend) to point-score with each other.
This is a blog, its Chick's job to report on his opinion of the Scottish game. Get over yourselves. He makes lots of valid points here.
Having said that, I think the team should be:
McGregor
Whittiker Caldwell Berra Naysmith
Brown D.Fletcher Ferguson Morrison
S.Fletcher McCormack
Although I think Jack Ross of St. Mirren should be given a shout. Most consistant right-back in the SPL by a country mile. Hutton not match fit, Broadfoot injured (and rubbish), Alexander too old, Whittiker not had enough 1st team games for my liking.
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I'm sorry, Chick, but is this cliche-ridden blog supposed to be remotely funny ? I don't think I've read anything as embarassing and cringeworthy for many years. What is the BBC playing at, allowing such utter drivel to be published ?
"Holland have Robben in their team this weekend, but to be honest I can't see him needing Batman."..............this comment belongs in a comic like the Dandy, not in a column of a national broadcaster's web site.
"is there anyone of the Caledonia persuasion out there" - how about a less patronising statement like "are there any Scots out there".
"tulips from Amsterdam", "blooming unbelievable" ...........AAAARGH !!!
"the most exciting piece of Saturday night fever since John Travolta slipped into his white suit"
"can we hang on to their clogs?"
"as popular as a pork chop at a Jewish wedding".....the old ones are the best (insert hearty chuckle here).
"Simmer quietly and slowly bring to the boil"
"They have Robben, if no Batman."
"We'll need to play our Joker"....does that mean you're on the lookout for a game then, Chick ? Because writing utter garbage like this means you're the joker.
Sorry, but I wasn't nit-picking here. These quotes were what immediately jumped out at me and tickled my fancy like a tulip from old Amsterdam (BOOM BOOM !!).
I find this blog as desirable as a horrible disease. The equivalent of journalistic silicosis, if you like, stemming from 40 years toiling at the coalface of football journalism.
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im getting a bit sick of 'none of our players would get anywhere near their team' comments. holland are awesome going forward and we aren't ever going to be able to contain them if they play to 50% of their potential. defensively, however they are no better than average. im not saying players like weir deserve to be anywhere near their team, i am saying that before a game like this it helps no one if you only focus on the positive aspects of the opponent. id argue that both gordon and macgregor are better goalkeepers than steklenberg (who's having a shocker this season) and their best defender heitinga has just pulled out of the squad through injury. its clutching at straws i know, but at least im trying!
can we please forget about kris sodding boyd. he's proved year after year that he's totally devoid of any moral fibres and cannot be counted on when really needed (anyone remember that miss away to villareal a few seasons ago??), and i get the impression that the rest of the squad think he's a bit of a trumpet so we're better off without him imo.
my team for saturday would be
macgregor
alexander - caldwell - berra - naysmith
whittaker - brown - ferguson - fletcher - morrison
iwelumo
WOW, just realised how depleted our squad actually is. uh oh
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31. I completely agree. It is no wonder people think Scottish football is a joke if this is the kind of insightful journalism that goes along with it. It is also telling that Chick never posts replies to any of the comments on his blog unlike almost every other commentator on this site. This blog never attempts to seriously analyse any of the problems or issues with the Scottish game, instead it's filled with the same recycled nonsense and appalling jokes week in, week out. I've got a journalism degree I made from a packet of Frosties, can I get a job as well?
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A bit of a mixed blog Chic. Our squad is depleted and frankly while Rafael van der Vaart has spit the dummy because he isn't getting in the Real Madrid team our hopes are represented by Hutton and Gordon who can't even get into mediocre Premiership teams. Boyd can score goals for fun against SPL teams but simply lacks positional discpline and tactical nous to justify a starting place against the Dutch.Whoever plays up front will have to hold the ball up and pressurise the Dutch defense by disrupting their passes. Boyd cannot/will not do this. If the Dutch establish a rhythm in their passing the game is over. While I understand Boyd's frustration, but surely extra training sessions, even with a certain Mr Mccoist, could aid his all-round contribution, make him a better player and almost an automatic selection. ( Get him to watch Carlos Tevez for Man United against Barca at OT last season - defending from the front at its best.) The ball is in Boyd's court not Burley's.
Sadly, I think we used up our portion of good luck recently & I think 3-0 to the Dutch, at least.
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#27
At least there's something here to have a thoughtful discussion about! I think Gordon has proven to be worthy of keeping the jersey. Fair enough he hasnt played the same amount of European games at club level, but the same argument can be used with McGregor at international level. When both were fit and first choice at their clubs, Gordon was first choice for Scotland. In the goalkeeping position, unless there is a dramatic difference in abilities between two keepers, the general rule of thumb seems to be that if you have the jersey - its yours to lose. Gordon lost the jersey at Sunderland due to injury, not loss of form, and Fulop has been treated fairly by Sbragia with respect to keeping his place. While I think McGregor has been a consistently good goalkeeper over the last 3 seasons, I dont think Gordon has done anything wrong for Scotland and doesnt deserve to lose his place.
Its all immaterial anyhow - Burley has announced the McGregor will play. I dont see a problem with that ability wise, both are fine keepers, but I think Gordon has proven his worth to Scotland as a goalkeeper.
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"It is a dreadful state of affairs because, although in second place, we are actually - by three points - the worst of the current runners up, and remember that only one of the nine misses out."
This statement is fact but perhaps doesn't tell the full story. A quick look over results and the other groups tells us that Scotland are in the middle of the pack when it comes to the best 8 second place teams...though it is a big pack and depends on who you assume will finish last in each group.
I reckon we need a points average (points/games) of about 1.75 to be in the top 8 best second place teams. We are currently sitting on 1.33 from our 3 games. If we get 9points from our remaining 5 games our average goes up to 1.625 which is right on the limit I believe. 10points gets us 1.75 which should be enough...I reckon there are 3 groups who are doing worse or at least the same as us in the race for second place.
Now how come I can work all this out but Chic, with all his years as a journalist, can't...some people might suggest it's lazy journalism better suited to the tabloids than the BBC. Chic?
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Holland have Robben in their team this weekend, but to be honest I can't see him needing Batman.
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this is embarrassing. typical, typical scottish humour. the kind my dad uses. I'm scottish by the way. After that sentence I've decided not to read the rest of the article
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Maybe Clive Lyndsay should take over from Chick. Much better:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/football/internationals/7964843.stm
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Spot on #31 - I know that I'm not being forced to read this rubbish but I find that I do most weeks because I cant believe something this bad can be published by the BBC - perhaps that was their aim to begin with?
Compare this nonsense to Gavin Strachan's blog on the main page - it may not be of interest to BBC Scotland viewers as it concerns football in England, but it is still interesting, well written and insightful. He also doesn't feel the need to fill space with dreadful puns in the absence of anything remotely sensible!
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#38 I completely agree. chick's writing style really winds me up
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We are only two points behind the next second placed team!!
3 points in Amsterdam will see good to that
cmon the Scots
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#37 - I'm Scottish too and you made a wise decision not to read on after that dreadful opening sentence. Unfortunately I did read on, out of sheer morbid curiosity, to see if it could possibly become any worse. I wish I hadn't now, as it made me cringe like I haven't cringed in a long time at a piece of Scottish "journalism".
Please, Chick, grow up and stop trying to tell the same type of embarassing jokes that my grandfather used to tell at the tea table, making the whole family choke on their black puddin. If you do stop I'll send you some lovely tulips, a wee wooden windmill that plays a tune and a pair of clogs from Old Amsterdam.
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Gordon is still top class, whether he plays or sits on the bench. Hutton could be worth a gamble. One player i think is worth a try is Watford midfielder Don Cowie. He's been arguably one of the form players in the Championship in 2009. And he had been on terrific form for Inverness Caley Thistle before he left for Vicarage Road. And talking of Inverness, Ian Black is doing very well at the moment, scoring lots of goals and putting in Man of the Match performances. He signed a pre-contract agreement with Hearts to sign in the summer. So this is my proposed team:
Gordon
Hutton Caldwell Berra Naysmith
D.Fletcher Brown Ferguson Cowie
S.Fletcher McCormack
Subs:
McGregor
Whittaker
Robson
Black
Miller
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