BUT, the thing to bear in mind before laying siege to Castle ChartBlog is that I was making a point about the marketing of Paloma, especially in the video. It seemed to be a deliberate attempt to make a link between her and Amy in the minds of the record-buying public, and that it's a shame to taint a new artist with another, bigger artist's vital essence.

There is no such problem with VV Brown, as her bubbly, fizzy personality takes her laughing and skipping away from the smeared-lipstick, decadent-lifestyle, faded glamour thing and into a much more fun area.

So, before the Paloma vs VV vs Amy-off gets started, can I bring your attention to the following items?

Things Which Are Always Welcome In Pop Songs:

Bo Diddley-type strums on an acoustic guitar (ask a teddy boy). See George Michael's 'Faith' for details. Tell him I sent you.

Good singing by a singer who has a pleasant voice and does not overdo the vocal mannerisms.

Handclaps. I cannot stress this enough.

"Do, do-do, do-do-do" backing vocals straight out of Lou Reed's 'Walk On The Wild' side (ask your palest uncle, the one with the Sonic Youth T-shirts). Actually the backing vocals on this are pretty damn perfect throughout.

An arrangement in which the song seems to get bigger and bigger as it goes on, and then suddenly ends with a little 'ting!' on a glockenspiel. Smart!

It's worth an extra mention for the harmonic arrangement, particularly the little melodic swoop up just before the second chorus kicks in. That's brilliant.

Now, if anyone needs me, I shall be hiding under the skirt of Paloma's metal umbrella dress. Don't panic, no-one's wearing it...

Download: Out now
CD Released: July 6th
www.myspace.com/vvbrown
BBC Music page

(Fraser McAlpine)

That goes double for rappers, who may claim to be the most original and distinctive people in the world, but don't even have a distinctive melody to show this off. It's all in how they choose to say the words they use.

Having said all that, if Chipmunk's impression of A Certain American Boy were any more pronounced on this record, we'd have to start calling him Kanye East.

It's all in that vocal swoop at the end of each line - "I gotta keep on rhyming, maaaaan" - and the conversational, soft tone of voice. It helps that he is a dapper dresser too, and good at the rhyming. And if you're going to be inspired by anyone, why not pick the best?

There again, it's quite hard to take Chipmunk seriously as the hard-bragging, hard-to-beat, rhyme hardnut he is in his lyrics, when he's at such a tender age. All you really want to do is pat his pretty head and say "awww, you kids". He will grow into his own boasts, though, you watch.

Thankfully, the murky ska backing takes Chippers away from Kanye's current robo-versity, and into warmer, sunnier climes. And everybody knows ska is the perfect music for bowling along the street on a hot sunny day. Just ask Lily Allen. And at least if you're blasting out this song, people won't think you've nicked your dad's records.

Just keep Chippy away from the autotune. Brave as it is, the world does not need another '808s & Heartbreak', trust me.

Download: Out now
CD Released: July 6th
iamchipmunk.com
BBC Music page

(Fraser McAlpine)

What you would be well advised to do, in fact, is listen to this week's chart rundown - Sunday afternoon, 4:00pm, Radio 1, as well you know - with the idea that anyone who has managed to outsell a Michael Jackson song this week has probably reached the equivalent of a Madonna-level of chart success on any other week, and should therefore be treated as some kind of musical royalty - a stand-in King of Pop, if you like.

As I said, nothing will be revealed here, except to say Cascada are possibly due some sort of jewelled hat. That is all.

Not that the Cascs exist outside of things which are happening in the news. Why, most of the lyrics to this song are a spoof on the swine flu panic, only in Cascadaworld, The Music is so infectious it could actually kill someone. That's an important safety tip there, and one we should all take seriously.

In fact, the immense catchiness and aural pleasure, contained within the mutated DNA of this song - it's basically a 'Waking Up In Vegas' style riff-rocker, done on synths, with a rubbish guest rapper - act in much the same way as a vaccine does. These elements are like a little dose of some virulent pox, which your immune system can easily fight off. This then trains the white blood cells to come down hard and heavy on any future germs which find their way into your bloodstream.

So for every time you get your rave on to this, it will not only provide a thrilling backdrop to some hot dancefloor action, it will also protect you from a painful death, by some dreadful beat lurgey or other.

The next Girls Aloud single will come out, or a new Akon hit, or maybe even something by Lady GaGa, and, rather than fall prey to a sweaty fever, one which risks your very existence, you'll just smile a bit and tap one foot.

This, then, is possibly why Cascada will succeed where lesser acts fail, they're the Tamiflu of pop. Facemasks at the ready.

Download: Out now
CD Released: June 29th
http://www.cascadamusic.de
BBC Music page

(Fraser McAlpine)

MuuMuse says: "This is hands down the best 'Just Dance' cover I've ever heard."
Sweet MuZik says: "The addition of a rapper does harken back to those 'he raps, she sings' songs of the 90's"
Dark Aeon says: "All that is needed is for someone to create a version with sirens!"

So, if everything looks different today, that is why. If it looks the same as always, it hasn't happened yet. And if you find you're reading a lot of stuff about sport or the news, and nothing about pop music, you're probably looking at the wrong blog.

Thank you for your time.

*actually, it ended up being Cheryl Cole on stilts, on a skateboard, on a man's head, on a car. It was a bit like a totem pole, only less true to life.

Then the third single was the execrable 'Thinking Of You' and demonstrated that my gut instinct had been right all along.

(No video, as it is a health and safety nightmare. Brilliant though...)

'Paparazzi' is one of those vaguely terrifying stories of stakerish-attraction that pop music does so well, with Gaga putting on her metaphor hat and using the story of an obsessive crush to tell us all a little tale about the quest for fame. And she sounds a bit like early Madonna, into the bargain.

There's some passionate singing happening here, especially during the "promise I'll be kind/but I won't stop until that boy is mine" refrain that back-ends the chorus, but musically it lacks the addictive itch of her earlier singles. Nothing here has the sort of earwormy quality to match "p-p-p-poker face, p-p-poker face". And, for a song from an alleged saviour of pop, it's a bit disappointing to hear something that sounds like it could've been written at any point over the last 20 years.

Essentially it's a good choice for a third single, but only in the way where third singles are supposed to remind you how much you liked the first two and convince you to go and buy the album - it doesn't really have that many brilliant characteristics of its own to recommend it.

Download: Out now
CD Released: July 6th
www.ladygaga.com
BBC Music page

(Steve Perkins)

PrettyMuchAmazing says: "The song is easily the most personable track on 'The Fame', but far from my favorite."
The Ton says: "It's not dancy enough to be dance, it's not snappy enough to be pop and not edgy enough to be interesting."
The Beat Review says: "I honestly don't think it's an intelligent single choice but it's quite a grower."

Whether that band chooses to follow this with a run-of-the-mill performance clip or, as in this case, a short history of cheese rolling in...somewhere they do cheese rolling, double Gloucester, probably...is neither here nor there, we are already through the grey-framed, rose-tinted, cloudy indie looking glass and off to wander new and wondrous lands. Come and play!

That's how they roll, if you'll forgive the pun.

(Here is that video. Easy-peasy cheesy pleasy.)

It helps that they write such stirring, whirling songs as this, with its wailing chorus and clockwork verses, and play them as if performing life-saving surgery on a baby. The infinite care, warmth and tenderness which comes out is light-years away from the cynical, sleazy cool of a Kooks or the terrified permafrost surrounding Bloc Party.

They just seem like such nice boys, is what I'm driving at. Polite, perfect manners, the kind of people you could take home to meet a frail elderly relative, and they would charm them into a rare smile, by offering flowers, and maybe a cheeky hob nob while your mum's back is turned.

These are not qualities which normally cut a lot of ice within the lairy world of pop music, and yet the 'Bees pull it off, such is their unique charm.

Actually, seeing as the music is so charming, maybe they should have offered the video to someone a bit more rubbish? I'm sure they could use the help...

Download: Out now
CD Released: July 6th
www.themaccabees.co.uk
BBC Music page

(Fraser McAlpine)

PS: Here's the band rocking Glastonbury. Very well.

The crowd loved it (except for one chap near me who keep heckling and yelling "play the single!", but I think he may have had a shandy or two) and my rather rambling point here is that I think the sign of a good gig is when you come away with a bunch of songs sitting there in your head like little earworms. And that's certainly what happened to me, with one of the wriggliest earworms being this little ditty.

'The Show' is a playful, cutesy ode to being unsure what to do next, and taking the decision to just sit back and see what happens. The lyrics are a tad simplistic ("the sun is hot in the sky/just like a giant spotlight"), but this feels fitting for the skippy tone of the song, which never pretends to be a deep or profound statement of any kind, but rather a well-crafted piece of bubblegum pop.

All the way through, it skates a line of twee-ness that never quite falls over into the Land of Syrup, and I think that's actually the cleverest thing about this: that Lenka knows how to do cute without making it feel overly affected, and that her wispy vocals are always just strong enough to hold the song together.

Maybe it's all contrived, but it's a perfectly-judged contrivance, and I'm fine with that.

The only bit that confuses me is at the very end, where the refrain of "I want my money back" kicks in. Surely that's like handing the critics a large cream bun and leaning forward so they've got a much better aim for your face? Clearly Lenka's a lot braver than she looks.

Download: Out now
CD Released: June 29th
www.lenkamusic.com
BBC Music page

(Steve Perkins)

Thoughts on the day's events:

1: When I first heard the news last night, my very first reaction, after years of being snowblinded by news coverage about his life, was something close to "chuh, TYPICAL! What will that man do next??". That's not a nice way to react to something, I'm not proud, but it does reflect the kind of media hysteria and cynicism that surrounded the man all the time.

It took about half an hour to break through all that and realise that he was an actual human man to whom a terrible thing had happened.

2: It's hard to know how to react emotionally to the death of someone who was so famous, sorry, IS so famous, that in a sense they were never really alive. Not in the sense that you could picture them sitting in your front room sipping tea. And yet all you need to do is hear a bar or two of his music and it's clear something enormous has happened. That's where the emotions are coming from.

4: Pop stars are supposed to be mysterious, enchanting, charismatic, spell-binding, bewildering, alluring beings. Michael Jackson was very very good at being a pop star. Whether that means he was also good at being at human being is a whole other question.

5: It was an act of hubris from Team Jackson in the late '80s to insist that journalists refer to Michael as the King of Pop as if it was his trademark - they even did it when announcing his death - but if anyone can think of someone else who better deserves that title, I'm all ears (no, Mr Andre, not you).

6: It is fair to say that any music collection which does not contain a single Michael Jackson-related song is the poorer for it. Even hardcore metal-heads have to respect the Eddie Van Halen guitar solo in 'Beat It', or Slash on 'Black Or White'. Anyone with half an ear to the world of pop knows that Michael Jackson was, and is, a big big deal.

7: The news of Michael's death was such a sudden spike of interest on the web, Google were afraid that they were under attack. His death almost crashed the internet. Even if people are just exchanging off-colour jokes, that's still an amazing thing

That's all I've got so far. Feel free to add your own thoughts below. I'm off to listen to the 'Thriller' album...

Then there's the question of what musical sounds you make. Do you use this as an opportunity to show off your cinematic side? To really experiment with your sound and come up with something that is entirely unlike what you normally do but which has been explicitly tailored to fit the images it will be used to soundtrack?

Linkin have taken the admirable stance of changing what they do in no way whatsoever, letting the film come to them, rather than the other way around. It's the doomy, epic, huge Linkin Park of 'What I've Done' or 'Numb' rather than the comparatively party-jamming funkateering Linkin Park of 'Bleed It Out'.

Chester is once again howling his inner turmoil to an uncaring world from the top of some dark wind-blasted mountain while a storm tries to strike his bones from the surface of the Earth. This is what they do. This is clearly what they have been hired to do, and it suits a great big fighty movie rather well.

And the chorus goes to some surprising peaks, melodically, which is always welcome from a band who can occasionally just sit on one note for an entire song and then change the chords underneath.

Granted, it's perhaps not as completed a song as it could be, but they're hardly going to use their very best ideas for a Transfomers movie, now are they?

Download: Out now
linkinpark.com
BBC Music page

(Fraser McAlpine)

Shockya says: "Chester Bennington sounds like a more seasoned and mature singer than ever before"
The Singles Jukebox says: "When the drums are pumped and the riffs are loud, I can more than deal with Chester Bennington's samey serenity prayers.
"

This is not a description of the critic at rest, preparing for reviewing duties in a meditative trance and clearing his mind. That's an actual account of my physiognomy during several listens to 'Work' by the Saturdays. If there is another way to measure the quality of music, I am unaware of it, and I'm afraid this may mean that, as a single, the record's a bit of a dud.

It's hard to pinpoint the problem. It's not as though this is a song with no hooks or the girls are off-key or otherwise lacklustre. Possibly it's a case of expecting too much. 'Up' and 'Just Can't Get Enough' are close to perfect in their own way, and this seems to try a lot harder, only to achieve a lot less.

It would help if this wasn't such an anonymous pop retread of various recent R&B hits. Ravey synths, dramatic string arrangement, melodies that finish and then echo themselves, huff, puff, it's all here.

It's not a good sign if you're watching a video and you forget whose it is, only to find yourself - I mean myself, of course - thinking "oh look, Mollie from the Saturdays is in this. I wonder why..." like you are your own grandparents.

Also, and this is really a note to all pop producers, if you're going to slather on the autotune like butter on a hot crumpet, DO try and keep it off the really high, emotive bits, or people will start to wonder if they are listening to singers who can't sing. Vanessa's "it's time for you to step up if you wanna be with me" sounds like a broken thing which has been fixed, and I don't believe that's her fault.

At this point in their meteoric rise, the Sats should be putting out one final amazing song before prepping their second album. This is not that song, as it sounds far more like a "hello! Look! Us! We're a hot new girlband" sort of thing, than a "hey, we're back and you will not BELIEVE the musical goodies we got for ya".

Actually, I'd have settled for "alright? Fancy a bit of a sing song?", but that might just be my gran talking...

Download: Out now
CD Released: June 29th
www.thesaturdays.co.uk
BBC Music page

(Fraser McAlpine)

BBC Music says: "Tracks like 'Work' and 'Lies' can be skipped in an instant and have "filler" written all over"
Fabtastic says: "The track took a while to grow on me, but now I'm a massive fan."
Popjustice says: "The sort of song it's hard to imagine the UK's two existing girlgroups recording."

Speaking of battles, Jordin would know why love has to feel like a battlefield. My suggestion would be that she should ask Pat Benatar, who first noticed the similarity back in 1985, four years before Jordin was even born. I suddenly feel very old.

Anyway, the single: it begins as a breathy, earnest ballad led by piano and a drum loop, with Jordin musing about a difficult relationship ("one word turns into a war/why is it the smallest things that tear us down?") and then just when you think you've got the measure of it, the chorus kicks in in a BMM-BMM-TISCH sort of way and everything gets much louder and pleading./

Then again, just when you think you've got the measure of it, it does ANOTHER switcharoo on you and turns into some kind of battle charge with Jordin bellowing "why does love always feel like a BATTLEFIELD? A BATTLEFIELD? A BATTLEFIELD?" in a way that compels you to punch your arm in the air as though you're lining up ready to storm the Houses of Parliament to demand that they table a new law to outlaw love ever having to be like a battlefield, or something.

So far, so awesome. Surely it can't get better than that? Oh, but it does: we repeat the above pattern for the second verse and chorus, the effect of which is lessened a little bit now that we all know what's coming, but then just when we think we've figured it all out (again), all of the backing crashes out and Jordin informs us that "you'd better go and get your armour" and then the bells come crashing in and you half expect a tank to come crashing through the wall, it's that brilliant.

Clearly this song takes the expectations brought on by the title 'Battlefield' very seriously.

Essentially it's about four different songs all mashed together and jostling for space, but the only thing that's stopping this from being a five star song is that after the initial novelty wore off, I tended to find myself mentally hurrying the song along for the first two minutes because I wanted it to get to the "better go and get your armour" bit, which remains amazing.

If the rest of the track was up to that standard, I'd probably be asking Fraser if he could make a seven-star graphic for me to give this song. Not that the rest of it isn't good, because it is, but it's just not amazing, and if you can be amazing for about a minute's worth of song, I don't see why you can't be equally amazing for the other three. Possibly a bit harsh, but frankly it's the only way she'll learn.

Download: Out now
CD Released: June 29th
www.jordinsparks.com
BBC Music page

(Steve Perkins)

Idolator says: "It still sounds somewhat odd to these ears, like her voice has been dosed with a double shot of Splenda because that was the only way it could match up to the bombast surrounding her."
The Singles Jukebox says: "You wouldn't expect a songwriter to give Jordin a better song than they gave Beyoncé, but it seems to have happened!"

And yet it's a perfect description of the way words can be arranged so that they tumble into one another and form a musical pattern, without the need for there to be music present. Jay-Z has it, Kanye West has it, but so do John Cooper Clarke, Alex Turner, and, to a ridiculous extent, Jamie T.

If you listen to the arrangement of this, his VERY BRILLIANT tale of a wild night out, you could easily concoct a theory that the whole song has been thrown together in order to demonstrate this fact. Actually, I just have. But it's still true, look, proof:

Verse 3 - as the drum machine stutters and plays around the pulse, the bass is playing one note per bar, the choir are no help, lovely as they are, and the twittery synth is, well, twittery. The only thing holding the song together is Jamie and his marvellous rapping mouth.

Verse 4 dispenses with music altogether and there is STILL no let-up. This could exist as an a capella rant, his words like handclaps, ready to get you moving. The man's a lyrical drum-kit, albeit a very sweary one.

Hell, even the radio edit, which takes out all the swear words and replaces them with silence, doesn't break the flow. It's like there's this astonishing skeleton of lyrics, around which music has been woven. Even the chorus, which is sung, is close to a terrace chant, and therefore entirely unreliant on musical support.

Course, it's nice to have the music there too, don't get me wrong. But 90% of the rush and thrill in this brilliant pop song is all contained between Jamie's wonky teeth. No need for floss, when you've got the flow...

Download: Out now
CD Released: June 29th
www.jamie-t.com
BBC Music page

(Fraser McAlpine)

God Is In The TV says: "His knack for melody pack[s] even more of a punch."
Instant Hits says: "It barrels along merrily with Jamie trying out three or four vocal styles along the way "

*MC Alpine, if you must know.

Unfortunately, it was then pointed out to me that the noise I was referring to was actually made by a real harp, and not a ukulele. And the person who said it seemed to really know what they were talking about.

At the time, I blustered, and said something about how silly it is to hire someone in to play the harp when it's only going to end up sounding like a ukulele, but that was just an attempt to save face. Everyone knew the jig was up.

I just hope FloMash's latest does not contain similarly confusing musical arrangements, or there will be trouble...

*some time later*

Phew! This time the harps sound like harps, great big beautiful harps, all angelic and sparkly. They soar over Florence's earthy ravings like huge stained-glass butterfly gliders over a muddy rabble of medieval peasants. The peasants are shouting, bellowing their pain and joy to the wet heavens, and the red-head in the centre is screaming loudest of all. Stuff about knives, stuff about King Midas, and stuff about gold in the sunlight. It's a heady thrill from start to finish.

The best way I can think to describe it is that it is what ye olde rave musick would sound like, if it had been invented in the middle ages. It shares a lot of musical DNA with Candi Staton's 'You've Got The Love' - as covered brilliantly by Florence. There again, Kate Bush would probably see her younger self reflected back, should she chance upon Florence on a wild night, or in the supermarket.

I still don't think it justifies getting a Brit Award before you've actually done anything, but at least we can let the ukulele thing go now. No sense in *cough* harping on about it...

Download: Out now
CD Released: June 22nd
www.myspace.com/florenceandthemachinemusic
BBC Music page

(Fraser McAlpine)

This Is Fake DIY says: "Her sound is raised from the forest, not the Korg."
Cosmopolite says: "This deserves to be a hit."
It's Getting Boring By The Sea says: "It feels real and human, bursting through then pristine sterility of the heavy handed production."

But it is also because good music can provide essential sustenance, even if you were not aware that you were hungry. We've all had the experience of unexpectedly hearing a long lost favourite song, and suddenly feeling a little taller, a little happier and a lot more confident - refuelled, in other words. It doesn't even have to happen at a particularly vulnerable time, that's the beauty of the thing.

With that in mind, I am here to tell you that, after one listen to this, the return of the mighty Jaxx, I was spotted doing joyclaps and clearly thinking "Yay! Sonic din-dins!" in a VERY loud internal voice. There's just so much to get your teeth into. It's a feast!

It starts like a AR Rahman cast-off from the soundtrack to Slumdog Millionaire, all sitars, tablas and what sounds like squalling guitar, before very quickly transforming into a slinky, pounding, twinkling, uplifting house juggernaut.

It's just so easy to become mesmerised by the production. Even in the quiet bits there's a filter which muffles the main synth refrain out, letting it build up and percolate though the verses like the magma in an undersea volcano. It's a ridiculously well-used dance music trick, and yet it ALWAYS works, because when the the chorus arrives in full fidelity, it takes your face off.

This all occurs within the first minute, by the way. I haven't even mentioned the twiddly metal guitar, the tooty fairground organ, or the amazing bit where the lyric "your moisture drips upon my lips just like a waterfall, straight to the heart of me" are followed by a breakdown in which twinkly, drippy things happen.

None of which would be any use if there wasn't a euphoric tune at the core of the song - which sort of fits with the lava metaphor, but less well with the cooking one. There again, having two metaphors where one would suffice is a suitably Basement Jaxx thing to do.

Sometimes more is more, after all.

Download: Out now
CD Released: June 22nd
www.basementjaxx.co.uk
BBC Music page

(Fraser McAlpine)

ComfortComes says: "As summertime approaches, this song feels just right."
The Burning Ear says: "Fresh ta def."

Aside from the fact that 'Stone Cold Sober' is more of a uptempo rockin' raveup than it is an old school soul resurrection (with desperate lyrics, let us not forget), there are a LOT of little clues scattered through this endeavour which suggest Paloma is being sold as a sequel to a very successful franchise.

Not that this is a blot against her talent, I should add. It's just interesting to see THE MARKETING at work...

Actually, who wants to play a game? See how many of the following things you can find, and mark them off your checklist. If you get them all, Paloma wins some "credibility as an artist", and the marketing team get a bonus, or a lolly. Something nice, anyway.

1: Lady with jazzy voice belting out pop songs.

2: Supremes verses.

3: Tattoos.

4: Lots of parping brass. Production by Son Of Ronson, or Ronsonson...

5: Song about not overdoing things, chemically speaking. Just say no, no, no.

6: Tinkly breakdown, for emoting over.

7: Scruffy hair.

8: Vintage dress. Actually several vintage-style dresses - one amazing one looks like a cross between a suit of armour and an umbrella - and some burlesque underthings, which deviates from the template a little, but then everyone is doing a bit of burlesque these days. I'm surprised the uniforms at McDonalds don't come with their own ostrich feathers, frankly.

I tell you something else, that drummer needs to work out what he's doing in the bridge between the verses and choruses. It makes the song sag like old pants.

All in all, this is more Phantom Menace than Empire Strikes Back, and not just because Jar Jar Binks and A Well-Known Tattooed Singing Star share a certain je ne sais quoi...

Download: Out now
CD Released: June 15th
www.palomafaith.com
BBC Music page

(Fraser McAlpine)

The Beat Review says: "Her enigmatic, fantasy-like visual style is astounding."
Culch.Ie says: "It sounds "big". That was my immediate reaction."

PS: Here's Paloma performing magic on this week's Chart Show.

PPS: Who would like to see Paloma do her stuff for Dermot O'Leary's Radio 2 show? ALL of you? Lovely.