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Jessie J - 'Do It Like A Dude'

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Fraser McAlpine | 14:02 UK time, Monday, 22 November 2010

Jessie J

I love facts, me. Some people really like flights of fancy, feats of the imagination, bashing strange ideas against each other to see what pretty colours emerge, but I often find it's reality where the really weird stuff happens.

Take Jessie J, a hotly-topped singstress/songstress from London, who has somehow made a huge splash writing songs over in America, including - and this is the bit I really like, considering the song we're about to discuss - 'Party In The USA' by Miley Cyrus.

That's MILEY CYRUS, as in Hannah Montana, as in Daughter of Billy Ray Cyrus, as in the nation's squeakiest cleaniest pop star (albeit one who is attempting to sexificate her image right now).

I can't even imagine a world where the creator of that song and this song are even in a room together, let alone a skull.

(No video. Ruder than rude. But there is a clean acoustic version here, which features some very half-hearted dancing.)

Over a sparse, spidery guitar loop, monolithic bass smears and a drum machine playing little other than ticks and bangs (unlike all of those other drum machines which also dispense cappuccino), Jessie grunts and cusses like a docker who's just trapped his thumb between a gunwhale and a hard place. Her performance is brutal and sexual, like Christina Aguilera squaring up to kick 50 Cent in the goolies.

She's doing this because that is what men do, apparently. They also grab their crotches, bark "hey!" like dogs and wear their hats low over their eyes. There are other things that men do that Jessie describes in this song, but I can't really tell you what they are.

Suffice to say the line that begins "dirdee dirdee dirdee dirdee dirdee dirdee sucker" and ends with a spectacular cuss-bomb, is just about the best thing in the song.

And that, my friends, is another FACT.*

Four starsDownload: Out now

BBC Music page

(Fraser McAlpine)

* OK, technically it's a statement of opinion. But if we start getting into the dividing line between things which are empirically true and things which are only strongly believed to be true, we'll be here all day. G'wan, shoo!

Seven Foot Sounds says: "Will she be the next big thing? Let's hope so."

Muu Muse says: "My only question is: Where does one acquire some spiked lip appliques? WANTS/NEEDS."


  • Comment number 1.

    *Do It Like A Dude

    * 5 stars

  • Comment number 2.

    Oh dear lord what did the world do to deserve this i must be missing something 1 star.

  • Comment number 3.

    Tom speaks my sentiments. I don't get the hype around this song, it's auto-tune alone makes Ke$ha look like a Mariah Carey.

    The most annoying thing about it is that the girl can actually sing, but she has one seriously offputting images, and she sings the song like a Cheeky Girl striving to breathe.

  • Comment number 4.

    DO IT like a dude Fraser.

    I actually really like this, it's a guilty pleasure of mine. The chorus just buried itself in my head. Although it's nothing compared to some of her stuff that's floating around youtube.

    4 Stars

  • Comment number 5.

    I still haven't heard this! Heard so much about it, just not got round to hearing it. Will do so before the night's out.

  • Comment number 6.

    Hmm, can't say I love it, but there's definitely talent there. Will have to hear more.

  • Comment number 7.

    Is it just me or does Jessie J look like Abby, played by Pauley Perrette, in NCIS?

    The songs not much, the studded lips are wicked, but she clearly has talent and is one to watch for 2011.

    And as for sounding "like a docker whose just trapped his thumb between a gunwhale and a hard place", more like a docker with his bum caught between two other dockers - 'cause that's men do...

  • Comment number 8.

    Ooh! Fresh blood! [/Vampirism]

    Hey "The Woodsman"! :L Nice to see a new (sort of) face around here! Feel free to stick around because number on here are dwindling... can't think why because as you can see we're pretty hilar. No messin'.

    For easy access to the new comments just go to the Topical Posts box at the bottom of this page - that;ll tell you which threads have new posts. And if you're just looking for something to talk about, we all conviene in the Jedward ft. Vanilla Ice - 'Ice Ice Baby (Under Pressure)' thread.

    Happy posting! :)

  • Comment number 9.

    Hopefully our little recruitment drive will pay off eventually. Numbers here have been diminishing ever since I started posting regularly, and this isn't the first site that's happened to after I've joined. I'm beginning to think I'm a curse :(

    Just look at the first page of the Jedward thread and see how many regular users there were back then who have since disappeared.

    I don't think Radio 1's website is helping this blog much either, to be honest. It's not exactly easy to find for casual visitors, and there's nothing on the site that 'sells' it either - something like a 'click here for single reviews and chart gossip!' on the Radio 1 frontpage would be great. Remember when there was an item on the main page saying 'send in your questions for JLS here', loads of new users signed up within hours just for that. I know it's a whole other thing to keep people coming back regularly, but us guys could use our welcoming charm for that ;) and I think if something like what I suggested actually happened (and stayed there) I'm sure we'd get more regular users. Not saying we need hundreds of users, but we could really do with some more regulars, because if things keep going the way they are, we'll have no-one left soon at all.

    I also think the 'Topical posts' box at the foot of the page could; a) be moved alongside the comment box, at the right side of the page - which is currently unused - so people can see it easier. b) be made clearer so people easily know it lists the blog entries which have new posts - I have to admit it took me a while to both notice it AND work out exactly what it meant. And I highly doubt some of the recent new users here have noticed it either.

    Anyway, just a few thoughts. I just don't want this great blog to die! :(

  • Comment number 10.

    Thanks for the welcome - you're right, it's not an easy blog to find. I stumbled over it by accident and loved it. Fraser's pithy wit is too good to lose... so i'll do what I can to help with promotion. Hmmm, thinking about it, a great BBC product that is under-promoted? How unusual.

  • Comment number 11.

    That proves my point, Woodsman. Are you listening, Radio 1 website staff?!

    Anyway, the 'recruitment' thing I mentioned is just a little something we've been trying over the last few weeks. Me and OddOne said that if we see a new user make a comment in this blog, we'd 'welcome' them and tell them how to find stuff in this blog - like OddOne did with you in this thread. We're not looking outside of this blog, although I suppose it wouldn't hurt if one of us knew someone who's into music discussion from somewhere else on the web and asked them to join. Thanks for offering to help, Woodsman, but don't worry too much, you needn't go out of your way. I'm hoping my above comment (and your justifying response) gets taken notice of.

  • Comment number 12.

    It's a bit wierd having been around long enough to see people come ago, just over a year now, because, purely due to them being the people that introduced me, to me I'll always remember ChartBlog as spirit, BloggingLiam, thranjax, CurtainJerker and RandomEnigma. That said I don't think the situation is as bad as we think, ever since I started posting on ChartBlog there's only been two posters really active at a certain time, usually Liam and Spirit, with other people popping up every now and then.

    My problem is now we don't seem to have enough people to randomly pop up to create 50+ thread that appear from nowhere in the space of a day, e.g: Mika Fan Club Attack, the time I foolishly thought it was safe to call OneRepublic one-hit wonders, the celebration when RATM beat Joe McEldery to Christmas no.1 and the legendary Alexander Rybak. It's still fun being here and I enjoy seeing what's going on pretty much everyday but it would be nice to have a few more people from time to time.

  • Comment number 13.

    Talking of spirit, where has he gone? Haven't seen him post here in ages

  • Comment number 14.

    I'd noticed that. He was always here to support the songs kutox and I slammed for being generic! He always saw the hit factor in them didn't he?

    I really do miss him in a way. And RandomEnigma, who's only made a few comments at Unreality Shout in the past months. BloggingLiam left almost as soon as I'd arrived, and don't forget Haducon2, who's a semi-perminent member, coming and going at times; and what happened to Adam Stocks? Recently renamed "stocksy"? I miss him too.

  • Comment number 15.

    I have returned...

  • Comment number 16.

    OOOH! Hello again! Isn't that quite the coincidence!? :L

    I just realised, I can now remember why I joined ChartBlog! It was to argue my point about Mika's 'Rain', and how two stars was a ridiculous rating. And THEN I realised that was on November 14!

    I've been here for a year already! :D

    Welcome back stocksy! And if any other ChartBLog regulars of old want to comment again, feel free!

  • Comment number 17.

    Well fancy that, perfect timing! Hi again stocksy

    Anyway, when I started posting here regularly, the regulars were pretty much the same as now, except a few occasional members came back every now and then. But back then, RandomEnigma was doing the news and single reviews every week, and there was generally a lot more discussion than there seems to be now. Oh and I'm fed up of people talking about what's going on in X Factor :P

    I signed up over a year ago but only started posting regularly around the middle of this year.

  • Comment number 18.

    mehehe I feel so loved now! I joined cause of Marina and the Diamonds 'I am not a robot'.
    Lovely Song :))

    This song however, is NOT lovely. Its greasy, hardcore, auto-tuned grit-pop. And I love it. Not the auto-tune like but still, I know she can sing so its acceptable. 4*


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