Alexandra Burke ft. Laza Morgan - 'Start Without You'
Picture the scene: There's a heated discussion taking place in the middle of a record company board room. Execs are hotly debating the release date of a new single, so that it can gain maximum exposure, reach as many ears as is humanly possibly and therefore drive people to the shops - real or virtual - in order to spend, spend, and once again spend.
The song plays quietly in the background, although it clearly has not been made with quiet play in mind, which is proving to be a distraction. It is a boisterous, Caribbean-flavoured thing, boasting a childishly simple, sing-song chorus.
It also boasts a man called Laza shouting incoherently about seizures and propellers, and a relentless skull-crusher dancehall beat, played as if a Troll was attempting to swat a swarm of cocky gnats off the EastEnders drum kit with his fists. It is deliriously happy, to the point of being simple-minded, and conjures up instant images of warmth and sunshiney freedom in everyone that hears it.
And it is this last point which is causing the trouble.
(Here's the video. It's basically Eric Prydz for girls)
On one side of the table, people are shouting that a record this summary needs to be out in the height of, y'know, SUMMER. They're yelling that it's a perfect soundtrack for outdoor barbecues and beach parties, and as such, needs to be available to buy at the beginning of the holiday season. A song this happy, they fume, is perfect for the end of term, with long weeks of hot nothing stretching out before you, rather than the beginning of a new school year, with new shoes that pinch, new uniforms that itch, and nothing but extra homework, conkers and the faint promise of Christmas to look forward to.
On the other side, arms tightly folded, faces impassive, are the record company's corporate wing, the brand-holders. Their argument is far less emotional. They simply point to a copy of a TV listings magazine with a big picture of Simon Cowell on the front, and the headline, "IT'S BACK!", then re-fold their arms and wait.
There is then some quiet discussion and a brief glace at a contract which appears to have been signed with red liquid, and the debate is over. Autumn it is.
Popjustice says: "We have liked all the Alexandra Burke singles so far and we like this one too."
Pop Boi says: "The new video takes the cake on cheese-factor"
Swear I'm Not Paul says: "It's chirpy but banal, and extremely unlistenable. Repeated listens only make it worse. "