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Diana Vickers - 'The Boy Who Murdered Love'

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Fraser McAlpine | 14:46 UK time, Wednesday, 7 July 2010

Diana Vickers

More death, Diana? REALLY? Honestly, why can't you ever look on the bright side? It's all very well moaning about this fella of yours and how he has killed your amorous feelings forever more, but come on, let's face it, things could be a lot worse.

On a practical level, what if he was The Boy Who Murdered Lunch? That would be awful. You'd be sitting there, all hungry, with your tuna melt in tatters, unable to take so much as a bite. What if he was The Boy Who Munters Love? How could you even get near him, when he's always surrounded by an endless parade of fugly gimmers? I mean that's going to put a dent in your romantic plans, isn't it? Frustrating.

Or worst of all, what if he was The Boy Who Loved Murder? Well that's a very bad thing indeed.

So come on now, chin up. Let's a have a look at the rest of this thing you have made and see if we can't find something to smile about, eh?

(Here's the video. For a cartoony thing, it's disappointingly true-to-life. Where are the massive whacking hammers? The teetering anvil on the wardrobe? The barrel of TNT? Cuh!)

I mean just listen to yourself! Look at you there! You're a pretty, talented girl, with a bright (if slightly hiccupy) voice and a LOT of wiggle in your hips. And clearly you can write a bit. I mean sure, sometimes you're a little unclear in the pronunciation of things, so some of your clever words get a bit lost. I'm not sure if you were intending to sing about a mouse in reverse, but I'm pretty sure you meant Midas.

Don't be downhearted though, it's not like I'm saying you're The Girl Who Murdered Words, that would be overdramatic. I'm just saying there's room for improvement. Constructive criticism, y'see. And on the plus side, well what a lovely chorus you've made. It really is a wondrous thing, because at the beginning it is all jabby and urgent and angry, and at the end it becomes floaty and mournful. That's very good indeed, especially coming after the purring verses. So well done there.

And I've seen you play the trumpet, remember. You've got some skills there, young lady. Does Sophie Ellis Bextor play the trumpet? NO she does not! So how about you go back and have a think about a song you could write which does not mention death by violent means? Something about a sunny day, perhaps? That'd be socially relevant - there's a lot of it about at the moment - and people LOVE sunny days.

*looks out of the window* Oh.

Maybe I'll just leave the creative decisions to you experts after all...

Four starsDownload: Out now

BBC Music page

(Fraser McAlpine)

Noise Addiction says: "Typical of Diana's sophisticated and mature approach to pop."

Pop From The Block says: "It's an upbeat pop/rock anthem with amazing verses and an even more amazing chorus."

Music Is My King Size Bed says: "She stands out, in part because of her interesting vocal style and unique phrasing - very Ellie Goulding-esque."


  • Comment number 1.

    Are you sure this wasnt meant to be sent to diana ? :)
    I do agree that the video, for all its cartoonyness, is rather sad cartoonyness.
    (New word there!)
    She's got a song called 'Jumping Into Rivers' on her album. Now you mention this murder thing, i'm worried death is becoming a common theme!
    Just to say, I'd give the song 3 stars.
    And Fraser, you really should become her coach or something, because i'm sure she could help with your words of 'wisdom'

  • Comment number 2.

    I'm still not convinced by her. It's not just that she has a voice I cannot stand, but she sings these songs about boys and relationship break-ups - which is fine, but I just can't hear any personality or feeling, neither in her voice or the music.

    And her repetitive choruses are getting very annoying. First it was 'Once, once, once, yeahhhh, once, once, once' (ironic really) now it's 'shot shot shot shot shot', 'stop stop stop stop stop', 'love love love love love'. Whatever next?

  • Comment number 3.


    Anyhoo, I'll give the 4 stars, it has a strangely dramatic chorus with a beat that tells us she's Little Boots' closest competition, although Little Boots is far more quirky.

    The video however gets two stars. Pretty dull even with the cartoon and that guy "who murdered love" looks like an Arian trying to be a chav.

  • Comment number 4.

    I actually really like the video. It's low budget but fun. And I don't find Little Boots quirky at all.

  • Comment number 5.

    Yeah, Little Boots' hardly Bat For Lashes when it comes to quirkyness

  • Comment number 6.

    This comment was removed because the moderators found it broke the house rules. Explain.

  • Comment number 7.

    Ellie and Diana sound so similar, they really should do a duet to see how much they can confuse everyone!

  • Comment number 8.

    Very good single choice, I think.
    I do love myself a little bit of Diana Vickers and this song doesn't change that.

  • Comment number 9.

    There's one word to some up Diana Vickers and her entire career so far. Beautiful. She herself is beautiful, her performances on the X Factor were beautiful, her upbeat, modern songs are beautiful and her album is beautiful. I've been waiting for this song to become heard ever since I bought 'Songs Form The Tainted Cherry Tree' (named after a lyric in this very song). Even though it's not my personal favourite, I have to admit it's a fantastic, soulful piece of work that uses the combination of rock and pop in a very impressive manner.

  • Comment number 10.

    She's probably the best artist to come out of X Factor so far, with Alexandra coming 2nd. Leona, though wonderful in the lungs department, has no personality or seems like she takes an involvement in her music. Too detached. JLS ... I won't even go there. That's it actually isn't it? But yeah, this is a great song. Well written and though repetitive it's not that annoying, unlike Katie Price's crime. *shudders*

  • Comment number 11.

    It would be truly wonderful if Beeb's journalists had basic education and knew how to correctly formulate sentences etc. Granted that this requires a fundamental modicum of IQ that the above author Fraser McAlpine may be lacking but it's just a dream anyway, innit?

    Agree Diana is the best X Factor artist. Leona can beat her on lungs but Diana is without a doubt the most interesting. Something new was needed after the Leona win and Diana is about as original as one can ask for. Since X Factor she's shown she too has great lungs, an ebullient personality, and she gets more beautiful and classy for every day that goes by. I really want her to succeed because she's so much fun to watch and if she succeeds - and succeeds big - then we know we'll have her brightening up our lives for a long time.

    And now Mr McAlpine - go back to school and study English. And journalism. Your current task is too big for you. Shame.

  • Comment number 12.


  • Comment number 13.

    This comment was removed because the moderators found it broke the house rules. Explain.

  • Comment number 14.

    Are you kidding me?!

    I'll post that again in parts so I can see which was the offending one....

  • Comment number 15.

    This comment was removed because the moderators found it broke the house rules. Explain.

  • Comment number 16.

    This comment was removed because the moderators found it broke the house rules. Explain.

  • Comment number 17.

    This comment was removed because the moderators found it broke the house rules. Explain.

  • Comment number 18.

    lol, that'll be all of it then!

  • Comment number 19.

    Pahaha! Sorry, Curtains... it seems like your hate for this song displeases the great ChartBlog Gods. :P

    Mind you the more I listen to it, the verses are just awful. The chorus is the only redeeming property, and even so I'd have expected it to fare much better than it is doing in the charts... Hardly #1 material but not even Top 30?!


  • Comment number 20.

    I'm not surprised at the low charting of this song. Once was a very low-seller for a no.1, and at this stage most of her fans will have the album already, and because Diana is extremely 'marmite' thanks largely to her voice, there aren't likely to be too many casual listeners who will take to this song.

    And apart from that, I don't think it's even a great song anyway. I know her fans were raving about it and saying it would be a certain no.1 at first, but again - that's just her fans saying that, who have already bought the album.

  • Comment number 21.

    Curtains, stop being so offending! Anyone would think you were some kind of critic!


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