Aggro Santos ft. Kimberley Wyatt - 'Candy'
"What's this?", thinks the handsome and talented writer of blogs, as he plucks a CD from his groaning desk, "a hot new chart waxing from some dance producer, I'll be bound. But wait! 'Candy'? That's a song by Paolo Nutini, isn't it? A RECENT song by Paolo Nutini. Hmm..."
And with a thoughful air, he gets up to check the calendar on a nearby wall, absent-mindedly tapping a pencil on his teeth and sighing as though befuddled.
"According to this, we're not due a Paolo Nutini dance remake for another...TWO YEARS. Has there been some interference in the popality vortex? Has someone torn a hole in the fabric of the charts? Is this the beginning of an invasion by hostile aliens, intent on taking over our musical world?"
There is a pause, as the great man mulls things over. And then:
"Oh, it's not the Paolo Nutini song after all. Silly me..."
(Here's the video. It's messy and it glows in the dark.)
Actually, the only thing this DOES share with Paolo's witchy wail-up is the idea that the word candy can be used to hint at various different things. It can mean sweets, or things which look like sweets which are not sweets, or the making of sweet love, or - and this is only with a bit of a stretch - a tin full of letters.*
Paolo's song was a little ambiguous as to his true meaning, implying that whatever the candy was, the narrator was so addicted to it he would do anything to get some more, which is kind of unsettling, if you think about it. Aggro Santos has not troubled himself with this kind of ambiguity. His candy is almost definitely of a sexual nature, with perhaps a tiny undercurrent of sweets. Snogging near a lollipop, basically.
What I especially like about this - apart from the Spanish bits, the funny wobbly synth noises and the grunting in the chorus - is the online branding. "Aggro Santos dot com" gets a namecheck, as does Facebook, which is the kind of product placement Lady GaGa does in her videos. It's also something we should all get behind if we want the cash-strapped music biz to continue into the century without disappearing in a puff of binary dust.
Give it a year or two, and even Radiohead will be singing about Twitter and the problem of getting a decent WiFi signal on their smartphones. In many ways, this proves Eoghan Quigg to be quite the visionary. Funny how life goes, innit?
* Canned-E, y'see...