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Taio Cruz ft. Ke$ha - 'Dirty Picture'

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Fraser McAlpine | 12:41 UK time, Friday, 23 April 2010

Taio Cruz and Ke$ha

Two things before we get into the cut and thrust of whether this is a good song or not a good song. One relevent, one...less so:

1: Ke$ha needs to release 'Dinosaur' as a single. She's already got people's backs up about whether she's a great new pop talent or a pretend drunkard with personal hygiene issues as it is, so it's not like she has anything to lose. And putting out a Daphne & Celeste sort of song has to be the best kind of "stuff you, grandad!" stunt since the invention of punk rock. She would gain everything and lose nothing. Unless it's not a hit, of course.

2: I've finally figured out what was bugging me about Katy Perry's 'I Kissed A Girl'. Y'know the bit where she sings "don't mean I'm IN love to-NIGHT", and the stresses fall in all the wrong places? That's so easy to fix. All she'd have to do is add an extra syllable, and sing "don't mean that I'M in LOVE to-NIGHT". You might not be able to get what I'm driving at from the text alone, but trust me, it works.

Now, where was I? Oh yes, Taio Cruz...

(Here's the video. Who else would like to see the outtake where Kesh puts her foot in the loo?)

Now the thing with this song is it's repetitive, it's dumb, it's silly and it's crude. None of which are bad things in themselves. Ever the craftsman, Taio has invested proceedings with a selection of little bits, each overlapping slightly, so there's a sense of forward motion as you, the listener, move from one to another.

It goes: pretty intro, doomy synth buildup, endless repetition of "won't you take a picture for me, won't you take a picture", slurpy synths, silly rap (him), slurpy rap (her) and then back to the doomy synth again. Repeat with moany noises.

Usually, I am FAR more likely to be distracted by something daft like this, something which wallows in its own filth, than something which attempts to say anything clever using stupid language. And the jarring clash between Taio's supersmooth soul-gentleman image and Ke$ha's sloppy drunken nonsense is genuinely fascinating. The song actually transforms from one kind of a thing to another, depending who has their hand on the microphone. Even if the music stays the same. It's amazing.

Trouble is, as a song, it kind of runs out of anything to say far too quickly. If you've got a chorus which is just one line repeated like that, you probably need to be a bit more sparing with it. Maybe use it to season your bassquake dance anthem, rather than attempting to make it the principal ingredient.

Ah well, at least it's not boring, eh?

Four starsDownload: Out now
CD Released: May 3rd
BBC Music page

(Fraser McAlpine)


  • Comment number 1.

    Seeing as it is her, she´ll definitely look dirty in that picture. No matter how much she scrubs up. Oh, I see. Okay.

    Actually liking this more by the minute. Didn´t expect to, but there you go. Addictive.

  • Comment number 2.

    Star rating Fraser. No more than 3. Don't push me. Or do you just do it these days to wind me and harry up?

  • Comment number 3.

    He sounds a lot like Will.i.am in the rapping verse part.

    Nothing else interesting to say about the song really. 2 Stars

  • Comment number 4.

    Fraser, I completely agree with 1 !! It would be so funny to see Dinosaur anywhere in the charts.
    However, I don't agree with the star rating; i'd say three cos its too repetetive. And i think by the amount of times that Taio asks Ke$ha to send the picture she would have sent it already!

  • Comment number 5.

    Wanting Dinosaur as a single .

    You guys should be extinct !

    After , Your Love Is My Drug :

    The next singles gotta be Party at a Rich Dudes House or Backstabber .


  • Comment number 6.

    Extinct (shaking head). Spirit that's a new low.

  • Comment number 7.

    I actually quite like Your Love Is My Drug in a similar way to Tik Tok, it's fun what's not to like. Can't say I like anything else on the album, from the thirty second clip Stephen sounds quite a bit like Owl City.

  • Comment number 8.

    I'm hoping Back$tabber or Animal is released after Your Love Is My Drug. Back$tabber because its insanely catchy and addictive, Animal because Ke$ha actually sounds classy on it.

  • Comment number 9.

    @6 Surely Flo-Rida's early top ten single was a new "Low "

    Regarding wanting Dinosaur as a single , I decided to go with the "extinct" pun , but it was almost :

    "Wanting Dinosaur as a single ?

    Are you guys living in the Dark Ages ? "

    Obviously I don't want Fraser extinct , as you wouldn't be able to argue with his daily star rating .


  • Comment number 10.

    Ooh good point. That would take away the highlight of my day.

  • Comment number 11.

    Oh. My. Days.

    This song is honestly the worst piece of loose stool water to come out of the radio in... well, since the likes of Iyaz's 'Replay', or Tinie Tempah's 'Pass Out', only they were more like the odd spot of runs, this is proper diarrhoea of the worst variety.

    What on earth is Ke$ha doing? Standing on a toilet and laying across some sinks singing about a dirty picture... and what exactly does the desert bit with Taio's car have to do with the song? Or any of the video for that matter?

    I'm sorry but this guy have never been regarded as a talented artist. Ever. It's a shame Ke$ha has wound up singing some grungy ballad about him on a public bog in stilettos.

    0.5 stars.

  • Comment number 12.

    i dont think people understand how many camera flashes are going to be going off in clubs during this... and how many facebook photo albums are gonna be called 'dirty piiiccccctttttuuuurrrreeee'.. althou that is probably what cruz and keisha were aiming for considering the depth of the song...

  • Comment number 13.

    This comment was removed because the moderators found it broke the house rules. Explain.


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