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Justin Bieber ft. Ludacris - 'Baby'

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Fraser McAlpine | 09:55 UK time, Wednesday, 10 March 2010

Justin Beiber

It does say something curious about the people who work in the entertainment business in America that the only way they can relate to the idea of teenage innocence is basically rooted in the 1950s. They get some hot young buck like Justin, fresh off the internet and with a readymade fanbase from YouTube, and before you can say Instant Messenger, he's filming a video in a bowling alley, and singing a song which is part 'Runaround Sue' by Dion and the Belmonts and part 'Stand By Me' (both versions, Ben E King and Sean Kingston).

Oh sure, they've jacked the beats up, this ride has been 100% pimped, but seeing as it's doubtful that anyone who was a teenager in the actual '50s has a lot to do with the creative decisions in Justin's career, whose youth is he having to painstakingly re-enact here?

And is the only alternative to bobbysocks and bowling alleys to go the iPhone and crib-party route?

(Here's the video, and here comes mad old uncle Ludacris. He's got a story about what life was like back in the olden days, when he first had a girlfriend. It's not a very long story, but sometimes he tells it slowly and some times he jabbers excitedly. Please don't be alarmed, kiddiwinks, this is just what mad old uncle Ludacris is like. If you find tiny tears forming in your eyes when he's all exciteable and yelling, just remember, he will soon calm down and he won't hurt you.)

I guess the key to this thing is romance. A girl singer of Justin's age would have to be performing bang-up-to-the-minute productions which hint that she's possibly not as sweet a girl as she may appear. That's simply how things are right now.

Justin, on the other hand, because of his tender years and gentle face, would not get far singing a song about, say, making love in a club, or the joys of a hotel room. It's not what you, the people who love him want to hear coming out of his mouth. What you want is the sure and certain knowledge that he is a nice boy who will take care of your most precious feelings.

Modern popular music doesn't really cater for that emotion too well. There's the "if you're having a bad time I'll come and help sort it out" kind of a song, or the "I wish I had never been so insensitive to your needs, please take me back" ballad, but if you're after a promise, a reassurance that everything is going to be OK if you just stick with that nice clean-cut Beiber kid, well maybe the past is the place to look after all.

Three starsDownload: Out now
www.justinbiebermusic.com
BBC Music page

Comments

  • Comment number 1.

    Ugh, this boy...... he looks under-developed. Poor thing.

    And he is yet to show me that he has any MUSICAL talent what-so-ever, because he never writes his songs without someone else's help, and on top of that, he's so young it's obvious he scared to venture out into the world of the charts without some more well-known B-Lister's rapping a half-baked interlude.

    1 star from me.

  • Comment number 2.

    This song is dripped in melody ,with a memorable chorus and Justin's fans will lap it up , just like Snowball 5 laps up milk in Homer Simpson's kitchen .

    There is a huge appeal to this song , and as I said days ago , this is heading to the UK Top 10 .

    It will peak higher than One Time , and will raise Master Bieber's profile even higher in the U.K .
    A lot of people are going to like this song .

  • Comment number 3.

    Radio 1 have just A listed BABY by Justin Bieber !!

  • Comment number 4.

    When will this guy's voice break?

    It sounds like its a about to on the repetitive chorus of this song.

  • Comment number 5.

    I heard it broke not long after this album was released actually.

    I'd quite like it to break properly, like so he can never release another track.

  • Comment number 6.

    Although it pains me to say this regarding a tween pop song , the chorus refrain on this track is extremely catchy.

    Extremely.

  • Comment number 7.

    What's this nonsense about whether his voice has broken or not.How are you supposed to tell when his voice is half(mini) robot / half tweeny boy.what does his actual voice sound like ????
    Why is there an autotune chart & a none autotune chart these days.Probably be difficult to find many tracks without autotune these anyway.Perhaps the none autotune chart would only be a top 10 (struggle to fill that even).

  • Comment number 8.

    Know what else is catchy spirit? Herpes.

  • Comment number 9.

    Oh you poor thing Liam !!

    That sounds very painful for you.

    I will send you some new JLS condoms called Just Love Safe .

    On behalf of everyone at Chartblog , we wish you a very speedy recovery !

  • Comment number 10.

    @ Scratchy 7929

    Well, its very hard to tell whether this boy can sing or not... He very rarely performs live.

    BUT... Look at his AMAZING performance on 'Let's Dance for Sport Relief', he remembered all the lyrics so he could mime them perfectly. Well done him. Take note Cheryl Cole.

  • Comment number 11.

    Justin is the highest, (technically shortest too ! ) new entry in tonights chart .
    He entered at number 3,

    Some of the country are certainly enjoying Bieber fever .

  • Comment number 12.

    Some of the country are certainly enjoying Bieber fever

    I hope it's fatal

  • Comment number 13.

    LOL @ Harry.

  • Comment number 14.

    The chorus is repetitive, but you could call it good. It's so catchy as well, my work partners got so annoyed at me...

  • Comment number 15.

    @12 LOL



    Dont we all.

  • Comment number 16.

    @ Scratchy 7929

    not saying that im a fan of his, but the kid can sing.
    youtube 'justin bieber with you chris brown cover'
    then you'll see what all the fuss is about.

  • Comment number 17.

    I paused Muse to listen to that. I feel like I just committed a crime to music.

  • Comment number 18.

    justin is a really good singer with usher and he is is really fit

  • Comment number 19.

    Oh dear, a dead thread was resurrected by a Justin Boobface fan... then ANOTHER joined her! We may need to call out the arms....

  • Comment number 20.

    And Liam I can't believe you even contemplated pausing MUSE! For that6 n00b! Of all people Liam! It brings a tear to my eye and a sad lump in my throat.

    It really does.

  • Comment number 21.

    Yeah but he is is really fit. And a good singer with usher. There's the counterargument.

  • Comment number 22.

    Well, that's not going to win over many people on here is it jonesy, knowing what we're all like... ;) :L

    But "a good singer WITH usher"?

    So does this mean he's only good when he's singing with usher? Oh dear that's not being very consistant is it Justin? Of to bed now.

    And the most annoying thing about Justin Boobhead is he's a bit of a narcissist: he Googles and searches for himself every day to see what people think about him, he says he spends about an hour sorting his hair out and he "likes his own reflection a lot". SEAN KINSGSTON SAID SO :O!

  • Comment number 23.

    Hey I was just reapeating what babes said, as something tells me she's made her point and won't be returning. Untill the next Bieber song at least. If they can be called songs.

  • Comment number 24.

    Oh I know jonesy.. ;) My response was meant to be a little tongue in cheek so I meant no offence, it was a sort of double entendre... and you're probably right: she won't be making a return so no need to worry!

    Normality restored.

    P.S. Comment 18... talk about bias!?

  • Comment number 25.

    Come on people surely we can come with a better nickname for the Biebster than Justin Boobface, it just sounds childish and we're better than that.

  • Comment number 26.

    I got nothing.

  • Comment number 27.

    I prefer the Vaccines,Christian Mcglynn & some retro pixies but to be fair it's not the kids fault that he is top of the pops right now.
    I work alot in the States and the industry is an ugly machine, these kid stars are cranked out by Disney and taught how to be fame houndin' circus performers...none of them even write the songs that they say they do! All I know is it's one thing for Christian Mcglynn to coin the phrase LADY GAG ME in retaliation to gaga but recently even Hannah Montana (Miley Cyrus) was on America's Saturday night live where she played a parody skit dressing like the beaver, Sorry Justin Bieber but other than the Beatles I have not seen any real artist pursue a succesful career after being turned into Barbie dolls. Well accept that Justin Timberlake Fellow, he had a toy right?

  • Comment number 28.

    BTW Muse is still Amazing Live,....Possible Nicks For Justin include:
    Justin Beaver, Leave it to Beaver, Haircut Beeb, Ozzy just calls him "a bieber" ha ha lmao....it's all in jest, i don feel bad teasin the tike-he's probably laughing all the way to the bank .

 

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