Jay Sean ft. Lil Wayne - 'Down'
It's a couple of thousand years from now, the futuristic version of Tony Robinson off Time Team, dressed in a scruffy, baggy version of the classic science fiction tinfoil jumpsuit, jumps down into cyber-trench D, cut diagonally across a bank of servers in the great internet megavault which eventually filled up Silicon Valley, Arnifornia, in the former U.S.A. of A.
"Greetings, Archeolobot Phil, my internal messaging centre has received your communication concerning a find. Please explain for the psi-receivers at home..."
"'Ello Presentobot 2nE. What we 'ave 'ere is a cache of em-pee-threes from the early 2000s. 2009, to be precise"
"My internal database can not process 'em-pee-threes'. Elaborate."
(Here's the video. It's a swanky party! Lil Wayne isn't there! Oh wait, there he is, in the soup!)
"Well, they were a primitive form of musical communication. Not unlike our modern fremulon janglebank receptor helmets, but without the i-colours. People used to baarter these as a way of expressing their feelin's and suchlike."
"More information required. What do these files tell us about the people of the time?"
"They tell us that these were people who liked sound to be arranged into short, repetitive phrases called 'melody', and that they liked simple messages of kindness and friendliness. They also tell us that people were terrified of being ignored, so they would fill every possible second with a voice making a noise of some sort. This could be a kind of wailin', howlin' noise, or a pleadin' kind of a thing. Sometimes they would talk in short grunted phrases, anything to make sure the people listenin' did not end up chattin' among themselves.
"Is there any more, or has your exposition server been formatted?"
"Yaars, it also tells us that the primitive humin larynx or 'voicebox' was already beginning to fail. Careful analysis of this file here, the one with the pretty man standing next to the man with the robotic teeth, shows that humins were already seekin' to replace the vocal folds with mechanical alternatives. They were crude to start with, but without their efforts, there was a very real risk that communication - as they knew it at the time - could have been wiped out. And this was before the discovery of telepathesis, let's not forget..."
"I have a 10 quargillian stigabyte memory, Phil. What is 'forget'?"
"Never mind, 2nE..."
"We will return after these messages of commercial import. Do not deviate!"