Madonna - 'Celebration'
I can't be the only person in the world who is slightly disappointed that this song isn't a jaunty '80 syn-disco rave up, in which Madge skips around in a big pink wig, like she used to in the olden days - only now of course she is slightly more leathery due to the inevitable passage of time and an impressive fitness regime - singing "holidation!" in order to match the title "celebration!", can I?
C'mon, it's a REALLY big world out there, SOMEONE must be on a similar page...no?
Fine then, let's talk about what it actually does sound like, if that's what you want... *huffs*
(Here's the video. I'm not sure if some of what they're doing really counts as dancing.)
It sounds like a decent dance track, you'll be shocked to know. It's all on one note for most of it and has hi-hat cymbals splashing all over the shop in an endearingly sloppy fashion. It sounds like the kind of dance track that you could conceivably make by smashing buttons on a Casio home keyboard with your face, but that doesn't make it bad. Less, as they say, is more.
It sounds like a decent song for Madonna to play on tour too. It'll keep her gigs from becoming endless nostalgia-fests, and adds something fresh to the Greatest Hits CD. And it'll help keep the idea going that a quick costume change and a fresh set of dancers is all you need to convince chirruping media types that you're some kind of entertainment Transformer, forever changing from robot to lorry to disco diva to blender to office block. A top hat! Fingerless gloves! A guitar! Who else but Madonna could put such things together?
What? Whaddya mean? Slash who?
Anyway, the thing I'm skirting around is that it's also another Madonna song in which she sings about getting people up on the dancefloor, ready to lose all inhibitions and go crackers, to have the wildest, free-est night of their lives...that's what the words are saying.
The voice, however, is saying "oh...I didn't realise YOU were coming. How perfectly dreary. Why, we already have the four people we need to complete a fine evening of bridge, so, actually, if you wouldn't mind, the servants' exit is over there."
I'm all for a frosty madam in a disco barnstormer (yup, leaving language FAR behind me now). Rihanna has made a very successful career out of that very thing, so has Sophie Ellis Bextor. But it's usually better if they sound strict and unmoved, not bored and unengaged.
Maybe the '80s disco thing wasn't such a stupid joke after all...