David Guetta ft. Akon - 'Sexy Chick'
I was brought up in a household that did not enjoy slang terms for women, like bird, or honey, or chick. The logic being it's not nice to blend lots of different people with their own brains and character and wit and charisma all together as if one girl is very much the same as another. Katie White of the Ting Tings wrote a very good song about it, it went to No.1.
Akon, as a performer, likes to write songs about seeing a hot girl in a club - it can be a normal club or a strip club, he's that kind of classy guy - and how watching her dance makes him feel a special tingly sensation. The kind of sensation that makes him reach for his wallet, so he can fan his hot brow with a wad of notes.
So, for Akon to write a song which contains the line "I'm trying to find the words to describe this girl without being disrespectful" is a breakthrough of sorts. It's like he has suddenly realised that the drooling caveman thing may work if you want a quick squeeze at the end of the night, but if you really want to get to know someone, it's nice to remember there's a real person underneath those sexy curves.
Course, this is just a first step. He's not going to be able to overcome years of leering overnight, so this is the best he can do: It's his best go at being a new man.
This is Akon actually talking to a girl, and trying not to appear disrespectful:
"damn, yous a sexy chick"
And this, let us not forget, is his second attempt, because the original version of the song uses that word men use about women that I can't even say here, y'know, the one that English-speaking humans also use about female dogs.
(For this reason, there's no video)
The rest of the song can go fish, far as I'm concerned. It's only a steroid-heavy version of 'Tainted Love' in the first place. But for Akon to make a stand, and point out that you can't go around letching over any girl you happen to take a fancy to and then immediately spoil it by, well, letching, is comedy genius of the highest order, and is therefore proof of one of two things:
1: Akon is cleverer and funnier than he lets on.
2: Akon is just as dim and randy as his worst critics claim.
Anyone care to take a guess as to which it is?
PS: My Chemical Toilet has gone the extra mile and asked actual girls whether they believe Akon has achieved his goal or not. (Warning, contains that word I mentioned earlier.)