Little Boots - 'Remedy'
I'm not a superstitious person, but when this week's horoscope told me I'd be torn over whether to follow my heart or my head, I was a little bit worried. You see, I have this sort of war with myself constantly. It's like I've got two little guys, one on each shoulder, each telling me to do or think things. And the result is usually a terrible mess. How else would I end up trying bourbon biccies dipped in humous?
(They're surprisingly good, actually)
So anyway, if this is a daily occurrence for me, I figured maybe a HUGE dilemma was in my stars. I had been torn recently over whether or not to get a Disney Princess duvet set, but this felt like it was bigger than that. Maybe this would be something at work? Or something hot boy-related? Of course, I more than slightly hoped it would be the latter (any hot boy dilemma is always welcome), but upon listening to Little Boots new single, I realised that I had been wrong. My dilemma was something far more serious. It was, and is, clearly: do I give this song five stars or not?
Right shoulder guy? Left Shoulder guy? Brace yourselves. This. Means. War.
(Here's the video. Aw...I miss kaleidoscopes.)
The voice on my right shoulder is the first to pipe up (he's the little guy who speaks my heart. Oddly, he looks a lot like Bill Oddie, which is either because Oddie's a bit of a maverick who follows his heart (an inspiration to us all), or just because I like Autumnwatch a lot more than I have consciously realised). He tells me this song is an awesome, fun little pop ditty that'll fill floors from here to Andorra (Timbuktu is so overrated). "5 STAR! 5 STAR!" He screams.
But before he can get any further, the John Snow from Channel 4 News-a-like on my left shoulder (I can't explain that one), in true logical, head over heart style, has interrupted telling me to read the press release before I make any rash decisions.
So I do. Big mistake.
This release says that Little Boots wanted the song to be: "a really dark dance pop song a bit like 'Toxic' by Britney." Why would she say this? Why?! Because up until I'd read these words, I was convinced it was a corker, but this song is never going to be as good as 'Toxic'. Ever.
But then the voice on my right shoulder chimes in: "Why does it matter if it'd not as good as 'Toxic'? 'Toxic' is not now, 'Remedy' is now, and 'Remedy' is here and 'Remedy' is awesome. It's dark, it's addictive and it's proper catchy."
Of course, John Snow's got something to say about that: "It's catchy, of course, but that might be something to do with the fact it feels like you've heard this song before. Because you have, and that song is Boogie Pimp's version of 'Somebody To Love'."
Now Oddie's back again: "Yes, this is true, but does this stop it being good? Vocally it's gorgeous. She's all breathy and intimate during the verses and then big and loud during the chorus."
"Come on, she's not that good a singer", points out a sneering Snow, "she's been hyped to the max, but is she really that different? This sounds like The Saturdays."
Oddie's straight in there. "Yes, John, but a) hype is a load of media rubbish anyway and b) none of that changes how good this song is! Trust your heart...your HEART!"
To settle the matter, I consider a duel, but I end up getting side-tracked... Snow with his crazy ties... Oddie with his wild badgers... Bruce Forsyth there as adjudicator... Little Boots not having a clue what she's done to cause this...
Before I can decide, Snow makes the decision for me: "You do realise that Little Boots is called Victoria don't you? As are you. She is stealing your name thunder. STEALING IT."
Well, it's clearly got to be heart, hasn't it? Mostly because that last argument doesn't even work. But also because really, my little Bill Oddie is quite charming and a whole lot more fun than crabby old Snow.
But mainly, it's because the song itself is really, really, REALLY good.
Download: Out now
CD Released: August 3rd
BBC Music page