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What Can We Learn From The Top 10?

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Fraser McAlpine | 16:30 UK time, Friday, 27 February 2009

A ChartBlog Special ReportPop music, as we all know, contains many hidden messages. Some are about sexy things, some are about naughty things, and some pretend to be very useful and important - and sound good in theory - but turn out to be about nothing at all.

The question is, can any of today's biggest pop hits teach us anything about the world in which we're living? Will a diet of nothing but modern music prove useful to our fact-hungry brains, or harmful?

Or, to put it simply; is pop educational?

There's only one way to find out - sieve through all of the nuggets of lyrical wisdom in the Top 10 and have a good hard look at the best ones, using a microscope. Here goes!

No.1: Lily Allen - 'The Fear'

"Life's about film stars, and less about mothers"

Not sure where this leaves film stars who are also mothers. Is life less about Angelina Jolie than it is about Vanessa Hudgens? Or does her film star status override her mother status? More information, please...

No.2: Lady Gaga - 'Just Dance'

"Control your poison babe, roses have thorns they say"

That's not just something "they" say, you know. It's true. Ask a botanist. Good advice about the poison babe though. People don't need that kind of thing running around loose.

No.3: Kings Of Leon - 'Use Somebody'

"Waging wars to shake the poet and the beat"

It takes more than one war to shake a poet? That's got to be one hefty poet. Either that or he's got a big anti-shaking army.

No.4: Prodigy - 'Omen'

"The writing's on a wall, it won't go away"

Step One: Find the wall the writing is on.
Step Two: Rub the affected area with a cloth or sponge, soaked in warm water and detergent.
Step Three: Relax.

No.5: Alesha Dixon - 'Breathe Slow'

"Ladies never lose composure"

This is true, and also false. You see, ladies very often DO lose composure (it's true, I've seen it), but they never, absolutely NEVER lose "compo-wowa-woa-wo-asure". And nor does anyone else.

No.6: Shontelle - 'T-shirt'

"I thought maybe I'd do some shopping, but I couldn't get past the door."

Might I suggest eBay?

No.7: James Morrison & Nelly Furtado - 'Broken Strings'

"You can't play on broken strings"

Wise words. You also can't live in a bubble made of jelly, turn concrete to custard using your mind, or wear a live squirrel as a hat. Everyone got that? OK. Next!

No.8: Beyonce - 'Single Ladies (Put A Ring On It)'

"If you liked it then you should have put a ring on it"

But also...

"Don't treat me to the things of this world, I'm not that kind of girl"

This may seem confusing, but in practise, all it means is that gentlemen are encouraged to show their love by putting a ring made of something insubstantial, like smoke, on the lady of their choice, and then sitting back to watch it evaporate. Good tip for all potential lovers there.

No.9: Eminem ft. Dr Dre & 50 Cent - 'Crack A Bottle'

"But hey, what else can I say? I love LA.
Cos over and above all, its just another day
And this one begins where the last one ends..."

Move along, peoples, nothing to learn here. Grandad needs his medicine..

No.10: Pussycat Dolls ft. Missy Elliott - 'Whatcha Think About That'

"Hol'up, whatcha think about that,
You wear the dress and I put on your slacks"

I think someone's clothes are going to come back stretched, is what I think about that.

Conclusion: Stay in school, kids.



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