How To Destroy...James Morrison (Again)
NOTE: As any concerned parent will tell you, it's a very bad idea to play in the street. Especially if you're not keeping an eye out for traffic. All sorts of terrible things can happen.
In fact, don't be surprised if this cautionary little tableau doesn't catch the eye of some Minister For Traffic Safety, and then end up being used as a poster to help make the roads a bit safer.
You'll see it splashed up anywhere The Youth like to congregate, in schools, 6th form colleges, youth clubs, at bus stops, in a big circle around one boy on a scooter, on a bench outside the off-license, on the swings...
And they will take this message to their hearts, and they will be careful in future. They will always look both ways before crossing the road, they will look and listen in each direction before they cross, they will follow the Green Cross Code, and everyone will be safe.
And then the sacrifice of one raspy pop singer (for the second time, unlucky fella) will seem to have been somehow worthwhile, even though he was quite good and people seemed to like his music rather a lot.
Still, as Oscar Wilde very nearly once said: "We are all of us in the gutter, but some of us are looking at th...YE GODS, THAT WAS CLOSE!!"
© MMIX~RS~q~RS~~RS~z~RS~31~RS~)
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Yawn, not funny etc etc.
Alright, let's change tack.
Someone tell me why THEY think this dreadful blog is funny.
Try me. Go on.
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This is a wiity piece of satirical humour because it takes a piece of artwork chosen by the companies to epitomise the album and our good friend Fraser then adds, takes away or moves elements of it to change its meaning. We then get another barrelful of laughs when he then adds a health warning to it or tells us, in what I would imagine would be a deadpan voice, that we shouldn't take it seriously UNLESS... Oh, and if that is the tact that you are going to take then pleeeeeeeeeese stop because this is hugely humourous. Unlike you. ooooooh! was that harsh? no? i'll try again later then!
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The very first of these blogs may have been loosely termed "a witty piece of satirical humour", but it would only work once, if that. Adding a bus, a flock of camels, or a lit match to a picture isn't funny. In addition softchews01, if with each new edition you are getting another "barrelful of laughs" from the disclaimer joke, you must have a very short memory, because you're laughing at the same joke each time. So, to sum up, Picture: not funny. Disclaimer: same joke repeated ad nauseum.
Now the only reason I asked this question is that each time i have expressed an opinion on these blogs before, some half-wit comes on saying i'm being rude or deliberately provocative or some such noise. I was enjoying reading your comment (although still not answering the question it had what appeared to be some thought behind it), and thought we finally had some constructive input, but you seem to suffer from some sort of premature ejaculation of articulation, because by the end any (very very little) merit to your comment was lost in the world of yet another childish schoolyard clown. Nice Work.
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Why do you keep saying disclaimer?
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If i had referred to it as "note", which is what is actually written, without the context that word is a bit ambiguous and therefore a reader may not be clear what i was talking about. I thought summning up as a 'disclaimer' would be about right, because most of the time it follows that path - "This is a bad idea, don't try this at home, BBC would like me to say don't do this" etc.
Did this pass you by? If so let me refer you catman231 to one of those "free internet encyclopedia" that you so love: "...[a disclamer] may specify warnings or expectations to the general public (or some other class of persons) in order to fulfill a duty of care owed to prevent unreasonable risk of harm or injury."
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why cant you just give him a break?? I am not a fan of him but what did he do to you?..............................................................................................................?
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Well, you know, I think that, for some reason, although you do make very good points about how you do not think it is funny, you cannot force you're points onto everyone else although I will admit this is a bit ironic to say so. I admire you for standing up to everyone and making a point without lapsing into simple and childish insults, it does raise a very simple point that a lot of people have said before. Why keep on reading it? Of course, if you stopped reading it then you wouldn't have any of these wonderful little arguments/discussions with everyone so, you know, its really up to you. Oh, and so's your face!!!! (sorry, I thought that it would enforce my position. I guess it doesn't. Ah well, another blog then!)
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Softchews01 - this blog is like chickenpox. You find it extremely irritating and know you should just ignore it, but you just can't help yourself. The more you try and relieve the irritation by engaging with it, the more irritated you get, and the cycle continues. Seriously, many blogs impress me, many don't, but only one gets to me like an infectious disease. I'm perfectly entitled to my opinion, if you don't like it, why do you (and this is directed to a collective 'you' - we really should have a seperate word for that, like French) keep reading my posts? Ignore them. But i get replies that are usually either snotty, unnecessarily agressive, or childish. Indicating, perhaps, that maybe I irritate you...am I your chickenpox?
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Dear Mr Jimmysavillecigar,
For you to think that you are my 'chickenpox' is very big-headed of you even when I have said that I enjoy reading these entry from you. The idea of the cyclic irritation is probably true, especially when engaging someone who is going to disagree with you out of a matter of principle. This isn't trying to be 'snotty, unecessarily agressive, or childish' but it IS supposed to be reserved for people who are either erady to laugh at a piece of silly art or are wanting to laugh at the comments posted. seriously, through this you have become a part of the blog you hate so much. You're as integral to this page as all the things about it you hate. Although this isn't a bad thing, you give it a variety for those who come after and read it. In fact, I would go as far as to say that you make it a better place to be. So bravo. Oh, and I think this answers you're half-french question as to why we read the comments. It is because it is part of the blog. please keep going.
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Maybe I am as big headed as you've assumed, maybe I do come on here to post simply to feed my ego, to make myself, as you say, "integral" and to perhaps get some reflected glory from becoming part of the blog, to be somebody, to be anyone in the face of a vast nothingness that stretches out in front of me, trying to earn a quick fillip for my self-esteem before the world deals me another savage blow, rendering me with no option but to end it all. If only they'd love me, I might have made it, I could have been someone, if only they'd love me...
...or maybe i just expressed an opinion on one occasion that I didn't like this blog and the author should stop, because no-one seemed to care (lack of comments). In the face of idiotic provocation I then tried to elicit reasons why people like this blog. I have as yet received no sound reasons. Softchews, you had a go, but really your argument (if there even is one) is a victim of extremely fuzzy logic and sentence structure that can at best be described as 'experimental'. And yes I am well aware of the irony of my saying that this blog was lifeless and boring has actually injected life into the blog postings. I don't need your help with that one softchews, I've made that connection. However, if so few people are willing to stick up for this blog, it kinda proves my point. They you go, floodgates are open...
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I'm sorry, "they you go", or is this more 'experimental' sentence structure. Seriously, give it a rest, it's getting old. (And if this blog's so atrocious, name me one, preferably within the BBC website, that is any funnier.
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OK, looks like it's time to get my best Dadding tunic on, kiddiwinks:
When it comes to picking holes in the way people write, I have always found that it's your best, most perfect and inarguable sentence which will contain the most stupid typo. People make mistakes. That's what we do.
If you forgive others their imperfections, they will be more likely to forgive yours.
And it's in this peaceable spirit that I say the following.
JimCig - Comments aren't the only way to tell if a blog is popular. ChartBlog is doing just fine, thanks!
Lots of love
Fraser
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Ok, in light of that reprimand it appears I ought to apologize. In my head the dialog goes something like this:
Fraser: Say sorry!
Me: But he started it..
Fraser: I don't care who started it, I'm ....
Me:[Interrupting Fraser mid sentence] okay, okay
So there we go, sorry JimCig (that's a catchy nickname if ever I heard one).
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OMG "dialog"?????
*maddening smile*
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You know, more annoying than the misspelling of dialogue, is the fact that I forgot to close brackets in a comment that had me criticizing someone else's spelling errors. The hypocrisy!
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I know! It's shocking. I do not know how you can face yourself.
Luckily I forgive you.
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This comment was removed because the moderators found it broke the House Rules.
oohh that's maddening I want to know what Jimmy's last post said! At least tell us which house rule it broke!
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I'm saying nothing. But if JimCig would like to try posting it again, and taking out the one instance of name-calling, right at the end, it would probably go up fine.
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FraserMcA, When will you post another 'how to destroy' on you're lovely site. I am really getting anxious about its wellbeing. If it doesn't come out soon it may not be able to do all the lovely tricks we expect of it. It might even have gained a few pounds and when it comes out finally it won't be the same as what we came to love (or at least MOST OF US DID!!!!).
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And now...the end is near...and so I face....the final curtain.....my friend...I'll say it clear...I'll state my case...of which I'm certain...this blog was lame, it made me sick...and now I'm glad, that it is dying...and more, much more than this...You'll see it my way.
x
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Have no fear, softchews, I've been keeping the destroymerizer on a strict diet and a punishing exercise regime, and he'll be back, doing damage, later in the '09.
JimCig, my petal...'dying' and 'my way' don't rhyme. Kind of undermines the feral savagery of your attempted satire, to my mind.
I'd have put something like "and now I'm glad, that it will die away", then it would fit better. Try singing it out loud if you don't believe me.
Hope that helps.
Fraser
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I didn't put that much thought into it to be honest, I spoke from the heart. Your line does rhyme, but it sounds contrived. Obviously if that's the way you want to go, that's fine. I was just having a bit of a giggle. But then I think we've established you know nish about comedy.
We'll transfer this conversation to the next lame 'How to destroy...' blog, when you have finished planning all the details....
Until then x
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Well, you can transfer it if you like. I might not bother replying any more, if that's OK.
Tattybye JimCig!
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