Fun With Press Releases No. 16
GummyBear - 'I'm A GummyBear'
"Originally from Hungary (where the ringtone was number 1 for a staggering EIGHT MONTHS and the album Top 20!!!)..."
Oh ha ha ha. A ringtone based on a popular sweet was at No.1 in HUNGARY?
What's next? A singing polar bear ringtone makes it big in Iceland? A singing drum is top of the charts in the Congo? A singing chip becomes massive in Greece?
N*E*R*D - 'Seeing Sounds'
"Think about some of your favourite songs over the years. Whether they be hip hop, pop, rock or funk, there's a good chance the Neptunes - Grammy Award-winning producers and songwriters Pharrell Williams and Chad Hugo - have been at the helm."
They did 'American Idiot'? And the Ting Tings song? And 'Umbrella'? And the Elbow album? And 'Appetite For Destruction'? And 'You! Me! Dancing!' by Los Campesinos!? (etc etc...)
Truly these men are gods to me now...
Bob Sinclar presents Fireball - 'What I Want'
"What better way to kick off the UK release than with a play from Pete Tong at the beginning of his legendary Radio 1 Miami pool party firmly giving Bob's latest smash his seal of approval."
Two plays? Four? A spaceship broadcasting the song to everyone in the world all at the same time forever?
Basshunter - 'Now You're Gone' (album)
"Europe's most in-demand dance artist has been involved in every aspect of his self-produced debut UK album. It includes 8 original self-penned songs along with 4 covers and showcases his vocal talents across the album including 3 duets with co-vocalists. Will all tracks written and produced by Basshunter himself, it's no wonder that' he's become one of the most exciting stars to break on to the world music scene this year."
Five pounds says he also writes his own press releases.
Jack McManus - 'You Think I Don't Care'
"Jack's first instrument of choice was a drum kit, but by the time he reached the Brit School (via a detour as a tennis champion) he had moved on to the trumpet."
A DETOUR as a tennis champion? What'd he do, get lost and find himself on centre court, and winning? You would think someone would have mentioned that in more detail, surely?