Fun With Press Releases No.15
Bullet For My Valentine - 'Waking The Demon'
"Bullet For My Valentine are becoming a genuine, world-conquering UK act, and are doing something no British heavy rock act has done for decades, sell records and concert tickets in every key territory across the globe."
X-Press 2 - 'Raise Your Hands - Greatest Hits'
"'It's fantastic getting all the best bits on the one album', says Rocky, 'I can now play my favourites without having to trawl through boxes and shelves full of records trying to find them.'"
Never heard of iTunes, fella?
InnerPartySystem - 'Don't Stop'
"InnerPartySystem is four guys who were reared in the bleak small towns that surround Reading, Pennsylvania. The weathered houses, rusted factories and sprawling farms make this the landscape of true America. These environments are stark and mechanical, and they are pregnant with dark and anxious hope"
Five pounds says this lot do not sound like Alphabeat. And that they would be just as freaked out by a mechanical environment which is pregnant with ANYTHING as we all are.
Rosalita - 'What Would Your Mother Say'
"An esoteric convergence iof influences, the 5 members of Rosalita draw on and are inspired by Punk, Post Punk, New Wave, Rock, Indie, Electro. Their other favourite obscure sub-genres barely deserve a name, let alone a mention."
TRANSLATION 1: "That's actually all we have on our genre list, but we need to make the band sound cooler, 'cos this list is kind of meaningless."
TRANSLATION 2: "The band are all big Eurovision fans, but we can't mention this in case people will laugh."