Chart Report - 25/11/07
ChartSnipe: Oh my GOD! Don't you people think I have better ways to spend my Sunday evenings than having to think of a new and snarky thing to say about THE SAME RECORD week in and week out? There's only so many puns you can spin off of this song's title, rich as it may seem to start with, and it's not like Leona herself is a tabloid gossip magnet whose Winehouse-like lifestyle provokes oodles of quality satirical jokes, is it? At least Mark Ronson's endless stay at No.5 can be commemorated in the same ChartSnipe week in, week out. But this is the No.1 spot, it deserves fresh ideas every week, and frankly, I don't think there ARE any. So, here's the deal, if you lot can't be bothered to shift Leona from the top spot next week, I can't be bothered to bring my funny out to play. the choice is yours. (FM)
2 - T2 ft. Jodie Aysha - 'Heartbroken'
ChartSnipe: Now, see, this is a bit more like it. We've got a bloke with a name like a famous Arnold Schwarzenegger film (one of his good ones, so that should help bring the list of possibles right down), a guest vocalist with two first names and no surname, and a song title which is only one letter away from being about a smashed fireplace. Rest assured, if this goes to No.1 for weeks on end, I shall be making good use of all of these things. You have been warned! (FM)
3 - Take That - 'Rule The World'
ChartSnipe: Is there any band that's not staging a comeback right now? Take That are back for good, the Spice Girls are planning to reconquer the world, as are the Backstreet Boys, All Saints and the four-piece Five have been and gone, apparently even Boyzone are thinking about it (they've all been called to a Ronan Meeting). We're still holding out for the Reynolds Girls comeback tour. (SP)
4 - Timbaland pts. OneRepublic - 'Apologize'
ChartSnipe: Hey what's with all this sticking two words together and keeping the capital letter in the middle? What's wrong with calling your band One Republic, eh? Are you worried that people will get bored in between the first word and the second and so you have to rush them through the whole name just keep their attention? Or are you trying to be all iPod trendy? Well, you'd never catch ChartBlog doing anything as lame as that. Nosireebob. (FM)
5 - Mark Ronson ft Amy Winehouse - 'Valerie'
ChartSnipe: "I miss your ginger hair", sings young Amy Winehouse, "and the way you like to dress". Which leaves one pretty urgent line of inquiry...How many people does she hang around with that DON'T like to dress? Enough that she misses the ones who do? Or has she drunk so much she now believes she's in a 24 hour nudist colony? Someone should check...