Blog Party: Professor 50 Cent's Guide To Political Correctness
(Taken from a recording of an lecture given by Professor Cent, no really!)
Good Afternoon. I said good afterno...good af...settle down, please, I don't want to have to bust a cap in your collective ass! Please keep your interruptions to a minimum and I will try and make this as brief and informative as possible. I'm well aware many of you wish to get back to your MyPods and your FaceBo, so if you concentrate and take note of everything I have to tell you, we should be able to get through in time for first break, with a quick seminar afterwards. OK?
So, to the matter in hand...Political Correctness has become one of the most hotly-debated topics of modern times. Not because there's anything really important or useful to say about it (otherwise it would all have been sorted out years ago), but because it is a concept which is so lost in vague definitions that people in the media have a perfect opportunity to make endless attempts at defining what it is, and why, and then argue about their own findings, forever and ever, until we're all dead.
So, rather than waste everyone's time with another definition of what political correctness is, it seems better to examine a few case studies from my own life, and maybe have a think about whether I was being politically correct or not. It should go without saying that I don't care whether you think I am or not, because I am 50 Cent and you are not, but for the purposes of the exercise, let's imagine that I do....
EXAMPLE 1: VIOLENCE
My new single is called 'I Still Kill', and, as you'd expect, it's very good. Now it seems that some TV executives find the title a little over-the-top, and have asked me to change it to 'I Still Will', or something similar.
Personally, I feel that this isn't in keeping with the message of the song, and I told the press: "I don't think they have a problem with the group The Killers being called The Killers and I don't think anyone's protesting that Guns N' Roses is called Guns N' Roses. I just think that their perception of me is dark, so they're going to ask for those things to be changed."
The question is, am I right or wrong? Is a song called 'I Still Kill' the same as calling a band The Killers, or is it different? You all have voting buttons under your seats, please press them now...
Political Correctness Points: 4.3
I see. Well, it is a contentious issue, that's for sure. Now to the second example...
EXAMPLE 2: GENDER STUDIES
This is part of the same situation, but with a different twist. I was thinking about this 'I Still Kill' situation and it occured to me that some artists seem to be allowed to used certain controversial words in their songs and some aren't. In particular, Britney Spears has released a song which begins "It's Britney, b****".
This is what I said to MTV - who are one of the TV groups unhappy about MY song's title, by the way - about it: "I guess they have their rules that apply individually to each artist separately: 'Oh no, he can't say that, 'cause he feels like that about that person. But it's not a rule that applies to everybody else. Matter of fact, my next single, I'm going to start it, 'It's Britney, b****!'"
But have I missed something important about that word and who should get to use it? Well, again, press your buttons and tell me...
Political Correctness Points: 3.2
EXAMPLE 3: RELIGION
Remember when I said I would retire if Kanye West sold more albums than me? Well, Mark Dice, the spokesman for a Christian group called The Resistance, does. And he told the press: "It is time for 50 Cent to be a man of his word, and retire. The world will be a better place when this satanic piece of filth retires and stops making music".
But is this a nice way to behave? To your buttons, please...
Political Correctness Points: 2.9
EXAMPLE 4: GAY RIGHTS
I recently released my autobiography, which is called 50 x 50, on the same week that Lance Bass, the former singer with popular entertainers *NSYNC released his autobiography Out Of Sync. This created a situation of conflict, not unlike that between myself and Mr Kanye West, and it's a hot-headed situation like this which can bring out the worst in people.
Now, I said this: "He doesn't stand a chance. With me, everything's a competition, so I bet you the end of next week, I'll be moving more copies than him. This is the same competition - this is Kanye West and 50 Cent all over again!"
But I'm fairly sure Mr Bass had the last laugh: "50's going down, that's all I have to say. 50, I don't want to playa-hate, but there's a lot that my book has that his doesn't. I'm pretty sure he doesn't have any relationships with guys in that book. And I'm pretty sure he doesn't have any space training either."
Political Correctness Points: 7.6
I think we can all see here that things could have been a LOT worse.
EXAMPLE 5: RACE RELATIONS
One of my contempories, a Mr Nas, is about to release an album which is called 'N****r'. He originally wanted to call it 'N***a', which is the slang version of the same word. He claims he is doing this because he wishes to take the power out of the word.
This is a stance that I personally do not agree with, and I have made my feelings plan to the good gentlemen of the press: "Nas sucks. It's nonsense, man. That's a stupid name. It doesn't make sense. Why would you title it that?"
I also stated that he has deliberately picked such an inflammatory title as a transparent attempt to get attention: "You helped him out because you asked me, and people who are interested in me would like to hear the answer...It's just for shock value."
Something I think we can all agree I would NEVER do. So, Mr Nas, politically correct, or not?
Political Correctness Points: 8.1
I see. Very interesting...
Thank you class, that will be all. Your essays will be handed to me in two week's exactly. Any lateness, any excuses, and you will fail this class. Is that understood?
Thank you. You may go for break now. The seminar starts in 15 minutes sharp.