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Shayne Ward - 'If That's OK With You'

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Fraser McAlpine | 09:30 UK time, Monday, 13 August 2007

Shayne WardIt's always quite annoying when you thought you were finally rid of something, only for it to pop right back up in your face when you least expect it. Like when you've spent the past ten minutes washing a saucepan and you think you've managed to scrape last night's dinner off the bottom until you look at it from a slightly different angle and you realise you've got at least another five minutes in the company of your scouring pad ahead of you.

That's pretty much how I felt about the return of Shayne Ward - that sigh of knowing you've got to plug away in the face of something inoffensive but generally unwelcome, just when you thought you could go and put your feet up in front of Hollyoaks.

The easy criticism that gets flung at all reality show graduates is that their songs, usually chosen before anyone actually knows who's going to win, are generic and bland, sticking to drippy ballads that appeal to the lowest common denominator for maximum profit. I knew that Louis Walsh had been crowing for some time about Shayne's "new sound" that he was going to come back with, but even so I was floored by this: a transparent Akon ripoff, Shayne? Are you sure about that? Are you absolutely sure those ridiculously transposed 'harmonies' were a good idea? Should I assume that it's only due to a printing error at your record label that this song isn't billed "Shayne Ward, featuring Alvin, Simon and Theodore"?

Imagine, if you will, 'No Promises'. Now imagine that all the weepy-balladness gets stripped away from it and it gets turned into the most anaemic-sounding R&B that you could possibly think of, while remaining every bit as wet as the original.

(Sample lyric: "I'm gonna wanna hold you in my arms when you cry / If that's OK with you". Come on, Shayne. You don't need permission to do EVERYTHING. Grow a pair, would you?)

Add in the aforementioned chipmunk effects, and congratulations: you've got 'If That's OK With You'. So much for a sonic revolution. I'm not going to say that I'm not slightly impressed by the attempt to steer away from the sub-Westlife crooning, but if you're going to take a new direction, at least commit to it. Everything about this song screams "will this do?", with the half-arsed production being the worst culprit.

To top it all off, this song has some of the worst lyrical howlers I've heard since Kelly Rowland's grammar-baiting 'Stole'. "I love the way that you look without your make-up / I had a girl before we met, but we broke up"? That's not even a rhyme, for Cowell's sake. And I have a three-year-old niece who finds that lyric far too simplistic.

Even worse: "I wanna saint your mother just for giving you birth."

First of all, "saint" is not a verb, Shayne. The word you want is "sanctify", or possibly "consecrate" or "canonise". And "giving you birth"? Stop! No more! Uncle!

Of course, since the video was shot by a pool and Shayne is of course lyk so buff omg lolz (I don't see it myself, but everyone on YouTube assures me that I am wrong), it probably doesn't matter what I say; I'm sure this will sell by the truckload. But it's still an embarrassingly misfiring attempt to be current/relevant/cool. I'll give Shayne points for effort, but he'd probably be better off as the one-man Westlife after all.

Two starsDownload: Out now
CD Released:
July 30th

(Steve Perkins)


  1. At 12:06 PM on 13 Aug 2007, Leo wrote:

    Agreed xD

    Really what is the deal with the OTT dancing in the vid and the daft voice? I agree it is very Akon, and I didn't even like Akon!

    Poor Shane, could have been so cool - but ah well never mind we'll have another Shane Ward by x-mas ;D

  2. At 12:26 PM on 13 Aug 2007, Ben wrote:

    Brilliant review... the lyrics are horrendous, and the only redeeming factor of the whole fiasco is his shirtlessness, which you are clearly missing the point of. To be fair on Kelly Rowland, at least that song had some stirring power chords and actual emotion in it.

  3. At 01:19 PM on 13 Aug 2007, S Hamilton wrote:

    Ur so wrong Shayne is so buff and can so sing n can so dance and my mate Caspian n his mate Bonz think so too n they're like so not even gay.

  4. At 03:14 PM on 13 Aug 2007, sarah wrote:

    OMG! Shane Ward is back! Again? Noooo!
    OMG! The chipmunks are back! HIDE. NOW.

  5. At 06:31 PM on 13 Aug 2007, lee wrote:

    very interesting reading.... :| however i think you probably wrote the majority of this review before you even heard the song.

  6. At 07:01 PM on 13 Aug 2007, yvonne ross wrote:

    omg i love shayne ward i like ur new single think it is amazin can u messgae me back please xxx

  7. At 10:40 AM on 14 Aug 2007, Anthony Evans wrote:

    Who do Radio 1 think they are? They constantly slag off reality tv shows, then morons like Chris Moyles [ and he is ] invite Big brother contestants onto his show and himself appears on crap reality shows for publicity stunts as does Edith Bowman and that's ok?? Neither of whom were any good.
    One of your most played artists over the last few years have been Girls Aloud,where did they come from??
    Radio 1 will continue to lose listeners because most intelligent people do not tolerate hypocricy.
    You promote and support Gay pride events then praise the music of homophobic artists such as Eminem and all those other rap and R and B artists who advocate bashing up gays.
    This station is becoming more and more ridiculous by the day.
    You are a bunch of hypocrites.If you despise reality shows so much,fair enough.You are entitled to your opinion but then leave well alone.
    It's like hating the soaps then appearing in one because you have been offered a large amount of money.
    This is quite clearly double standards.There again,you have always demonstrated double standards.I switched off ten years ago and have not returned since.
    To sum up radio 1 "Over rated" and "Self indulgant"

    [I'm a bit lost. When did anyone on ChartBlog say all reality TV stars are bad? We've said the shows don't support the winners enough, but that's about it. This is a review of Shayne Ward's new song, by Steve P. That's it. You can't be so naive as to think there's a fixed Radio 1 'position' on ANYTHING. ChartBlog features aren't written by Chris Moyles, Edith Bowman or anyone but the people who write for ChartBlog. So where's the hypocrisy? - Fraser]

  8. At 05:55 PM on 14 Aug 2007, Abi2407 wrote:

    I really can't stand shane ward... his time in the spot light ended after his first single!
    Why must he torment us all with another!
    oh well, it won't be long until he begins to fade from our radio stations or televisions for good!

    Just like the rest of the X factor winners?

    Steve who...?

  9. At 04:05 PM on 15 Aug 2007, victoria cooke wrote:

    It all comes down to personal taste. I really like Shayne and his new single. Alot of others like him and theres probably alot who hate him. Up until this thread i never heard or read anything so critical about him. Shayne could surprise you, he might have better songs to come from his new album. Your right he will sell by the truckload, coz hes far better than you are making out.

  10. At 11:17 AM on 16 Aug 2007, Kat wrote:

    You've done it again, review is awesome.. lolling lots at chipmunks!

  11. At 04:03 PM on 16 Aug 2007, Jess wrote:

    ON the Scott Mills show Scott filled his lungs up with helium and it sounded like the chipmunk. Basically i think that modern rave music's like this (The one the chavs like).

  12. At 01:02 PM on 17 Aug 2007, Toby Reeks wrote:

    I've just sat through the video and I do have to agree with all the comments Fraser has said. This is awful.

  13. At 11:08 PM on 19 Aug 2007, Gemma wrote:

    I love this song sooooo much i cant believe people dont like it :O !! No joke me and my best friend amber are his bigest fans! we went his concert and was with his family and friends and they were all soo nice! This song is the best and it relates sooo much to things that have happend to my life! I LOVE SHAYNE!!!!

  14. At 11:52 AM on 20 Aug 2007, PBG wrote:

    Ha at the end bit. Everyone (including my mate Danielle) seems to think he is rather attractive, but I don't see what's so good-looking about him.
    And I really hate this song. That lyric that says about wanting to thank someones mother for giving them birth (ick!) makes me wanna puke.
    How has this become popular exactly? The only people I know that like this song are teenage girls that also like Girls Aloud who are obsessed with how 'fit' he is. I don't think fancying the singer is reason to buy their music, for some reason.

  15. At 09:47 AM on 23 Aug 2007, Cat wrote:

    I love it! It makes me dance round the room, its sooo chessy!

  16. At 05:23 PM on 24 Aug 2007, Parki wrote:

    I feel sorry for Shayne, he really could sing and if he maybe had tried to make his own songs rather than go through X-Factor he might not of ended up just being liked for his looks (come on the guy is 'fit' as the girls say). But then all you girlies I feel even more sorry for you next year when you get that little bit older and your friends come round to your house and you have to hide that Shayne Ward CD as it's makes you so embarressed and you can't possibly think what made you buy it? (Nothing to do with cause you thought he was fit and really had no interest in the song whatsoever.................)

  17. At 07:30 PM on 24 Aug 2007, John Robinson wrote:

    "It's always quite annoying when you thought you were finally rid of something, only for it to pop right back up in your face when you least expect it. "

    Absolutely spot on. On a completely unrelated topic, I've just heard James Blunt's new single.

  18. At 08:10 PM on 02 Sep 2007, emma melhuish wrote:

    hi this is the best song

  19. At 12:58 PM on 03 Sep 2007, Eve wrote:

    He is the most boring chipmunk ever! He can't sing, and he isn't even fit. He looks like a wimpy egg (not my worst insult, hehe). I wish he'd bugger orf.

  20. At 02:45 PM on 05 Sep 2007, pola wrote:


  21. At 05:23 PM on 05 Sep 2007, Jamie wrote:

    Hello! lol!

  22. At 10:05 PM on 05 Sep 2007, Stejjan wrote:

    Hahaha you're soooo true! The first time I heard this song I thught i was a joke. Seriously, I thought it was, just because of the first lines. And then I thought it was an old crappy song from 2001. But nooo, it's 2007 and it's Shayne ward. And he's become cool and sexy AND he can dance. Yeey he's got it all, every girl want to please him blablabla... omg it's a joke after all.

  23. At 12:36 PM on 06 Sep 2007, James Wood wrote:

    Simon Cowell apparently put up 2 million to hype Shayne and make some money from him.
    Probably will do a big hype on XFactor to promote his album. He appears an okay guy but as his father is in prison for rape I think he should keep off sexy songs and videos as my girl friends and sister reckons he makes them feel uncomfortable. As for Louis Walsh making statements that Shayne will be the best selling artist and sell millions - talk about deluded!

  24. At 01:15 PM on 06 Sep 2007, JaneStreeter wrote:

    Shayne recently appeared at Arundel Castle grounds with Girls Aloud and Jamelia. Unfortunately Shayne showed no charisma and no one appeared particularly interested in his act. I think he has talent but not enough to make it big and sell millions as Louis Walsh keeps saying - yes deluded is the right word.

  25. At 05:28 PM on 06 Sep 2007, Jamie wrote:

    He played Arundel Castle!? I live near Arundel! I can't believe I was within 15 miles of the great Shayne Ward. . . oh wait sorry, think I've caught the deusional bug off Lois Walsh.

  26. At 08:43 PM on 16 Sep 2007, Christine wrote:

    Shayne Ward is the BESTTT...he got a great voice n omg...his body is sooo HOT!!!...

  27. At 10:40 AM on 18 Sep 2007, Lucy Atkinson wrote:

    I have seen Shayne's video and he comes over as a very poor copy of Justin Timberlake. He appeared recently on television and mentioned that he was going for the sexy image, in songs and videos. He's using sex for credibility which is a big mistake having a father in prison for rape. He is getting no airplay on the radio, quite rightly, as both songs are musically poor. As it has taken so long to produce a second album you would think he's management team would have got it right - they must be very nervous!

  28. At 05:10 PM on 18 Sep 2007, Sarah wrote:

    omg how sad are you the song is amazing you must be jelouse of it to actually sit here and right the most perfetic reveiw ever! have you that much spare time on your hands??? i love shayne and well your perfetic comments make me laugh and think y bother yh ppl cnt like him but you actually sit there and rite perfetic things! SAD ASS

    [Sarah...the word you're looking for is PATHETIC. - Fraser]

  29. At 07:07 PM on 18 Sep 2007, PBG wrote:

    The poor spelling errors some people make on this website is really unbelievable *sigh* I wouldn't mind if they were accidental or if you genuinely didn't know how to spell the word, but being lazy isn't an excuse! Ok, ok, I love saying lol....BUT THATS NOT A SPELLING ERROR! ITS AN ABBREVIATION! Grr..sorry, rant over.

  30. At 11:35 AM on 19 Sep 2007, Jenny Wright wrote:

    Shayne's management made a big mistake putting back the release of his single, we know it wasn't much good but he has lost all credibility. He appeared on the Lottery Show ages ago. We all know what is going to happen and that is his album will be plugged on the XFactor programme when it is a live show. I feel sorry for all those talented young artists who write their own songs and never get much chance to get all the hype and promotion Shayne has had.

  31. At 12:41 PM on 19 Sep 2007, Jamie wrote:

    'Sad Ass'? Now come on Sarah, thats abit harsh! Ms Atkinson is entitled to her opinion just as much as you are, and she raises points far more valid than yours. . . in my opinion.

  32. At 06:06 PM on 24 Sep 2007, Clare Ryan wrote:

    RE: Lucy's comments

    Shayne has come along way and he deserves a no.1... who cares about his family buisness... Shayne didnt win x factor to be in the public eye for stories about his family, he won it for his amazing voice!!!!!!! he is the most talented singer ever and will get to no.1 with his singles and album for definate!!!!
    Shaynes no.1 fan 4life

  33. At 10:49 PM on 07 Oct 2007, Sarah (16) wrote:

    I'm sorry, no in fact I'm not, but I completely disagree with you.

    Stop analysing it to the tiniest detail; Shayne's a fantastic singer and he's popular practically all over the world.

    He won the X Factor because he has pure talent and all of his songs are great =]

    This has to be the worst review I've come across in a long time.

    You're opinion is obviously not greatly shared as he is currently at number 3 in the charts.

    People love him, with good reason and furthermore, how old are you exactly? Shayne's songs probably aren't aimed at your market.

    "But it's still an embarrassingly misfiring attempt to be current/relevant/cool."

    That's a completely irrelevant-clutching-at-straws kind of comment =/

    He's fab, deal with it =]


  34. At 02:59 PM on 10 Oct 2007, Kirsty Patterson wrote:

    Hiyya shane I am 1 of ya best fans and I was wondering when will your mew song be comin out and my mam lyks your new song if thats ok wiv you and when are you starting a new song I love you loads kirsty patterson

  35. At 06:14 AM on 23 Oct 2007, jenie wrote:

    hey shaynes new album sound's amazing . dont diss him its all his own material and he's not doing covers on his new album which for a 2nd album is very brave we will see who goes to the top ... shayne or leona by the way where she been the last year? shayne had 3 singles out an album and a tour in his 1st year .shayne is by far the better singer

  36. At 12:16 PM on 29 Oct 2007, littlemadam wrote:

    i think Shayne ward is fit lol luff yhoo all ..x

  37. At 05:18 PM on 26 Nov 2007, Yvonne wrote:


    [Hey, me too! Apart from the hairs thing. - Fraser]

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