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How To Destroy...Timbaland

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Fraser McAlpine | 17:11 UK time, Tuesday, 31 July 2007

How To Destroy Timbaland

NOTE: Screaming into a microphone which is plugged into someone's headphones is a very unpleasant thing to do. You could rupture their eardrums, and there's really no proof that it would make their nose fall off, no matter what this picture may suggest. SO, you are advised to ONLY use this method of Timbaland destruction if you are in the kind of situation where it's either him or you, and rupturing his eardrums won't just really annoy him.

SECOND NOTE: Course, if you really wanted to destroy Timbaland, all you need to do is nick his celebrity address book. Instant career death!

How To Destroy Other Pop Stars....


One of ChartBlog's most regular and devoted commenteers, who goes by the name of Kerri, has sent me an alternative method of Timbaland removal, and it is 'MAZIN'.

Note that she is not just stamping on his head in JUST ANY OLD SHOES HERE...

How To Destroy Timbaland By Kerri

C'mon peoples. I believe a MASSIVE round of applause is due...


  1. At 09:37 PM on 31 Jul 2007, Jamesy wrote:

    Wow, after seeing that, he's in a really vulnerable position! Leaving the microphone just out unprotected like that is just asking for it! :P

  2. At 11:04 PM on 31 Jul 2007, Kerri wrote:

    ohhh, all this man was to me before this was a name following or just before a much more famous one and the word ft. or an expensive make of shoe my sister has a pink pair of (ew!). thanks for opening my eyes to yet another american rapper who i couldnt care less about! atleast i now know how to destroy him, but i must say i do prefer your more humane way of disposing of his address book, very clever thinking. now with this how to destroy and your rihanna one we can get rid of the last couple of months of uk chart position no1, loving your thinking :D make room for some decent music!

    [To be fair to Rihanna and Timbaland, I did also recently destroy My Chemical Romance, who you love. So I dunno who will provide this decent music of which you speak. - Fraser]

  3. At 11:26 PM on 31 Jul 2007, Kerri wrote:

    hmm, well, strictly speaking you only destroyed my chem dolls, not the band themselves!

    ner nerrr XP


  4. At 03:41 PM on 01 Aug 2007, Kat wrote:

    ^_^ 'fraid Kerri beats you here, Fraser... Kerri you rock :P

  5. At 03:42 PM on 01 Aug 2007, Kerri wrote:

    thanks kat :D

  6. At 08:48 PM on 01 Aug 2007, ~Rachel~ wrote:

    Hah! Not so fast, the K Team (Kerri and Kat):

    "hmm, well, strictly speaking you only destroyed my chem dolls, not the band themselves!" - Kerri

    Well, what if voodoo works, eh? (not that I'm suggesting it's meant that way...etc. etc..., obv!)

    Oh well, let's hope not anyway, or else the How To Destroy MCR will be the most effective of all of them, with disastrous results!!!

  7. At 09:28 PM on 01 Aug 2007, Kerri wrote:

    well rachel, if mcr spontaneously combust (please no!) we'll all know whos to blame.. fraser im looking at you, its your idea after all

  8. At 04:24 PM on 03 Aug 2007, PBG wrote:

    I have some requests of ppl to destroy.....first, Girls Aloud. I dunno how you'd destroy em, but w/e. And the chemical brothers. You could destroy them by squishing them with a giant salmon cos of tehir song about a salmon dance or something. But then, u probably have better ideas than me so......?

  9. At 01:03 PM on 04 Aug 2007, El wrote:

    Must say i am loving this How to distroy.... stuff. It's a great laugh.

    Awsome stuff.

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