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Top 5 - Pop Rhyming Slang

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Fraser McAlpine | 16:23 UK time, Friday, 2 February 2007

DISCLAIMER: Some of the themes in this hi-LAR-ious feature might lead a casual observer to conclude that ChartBlog endorses the use of swear words. This is a g****** lie. And if you s****** tell anyone otherwise, we will personally cut your j***** y*** off. OK?

Here, in reverse order, are the five stars whose names could, with a little prompting, become the "It's all gone Pete Tong" of tomorrow...

No. 5: Lily Allen
Lily AllenOriginal Definition: Pretty, mouth-wonked daughter of the Sheriff Of Nottingham. Swears like fishwife. Funny blogger (which could be rhyming slang, but isn't). Flouncy dresses and trainers. Immensely likeable, if a little prickly in interview form...
ChartBlog Definition: "Lily" - A cute description of that part of the male anatomy which is not to be found on the female anatomy, unless in extreme circumstances. More detail on what these circumstances may be can be found in list form within the pages of 'The ChartBlog Guide To The Essential Rudeness And Urr! Of The Human Body'. Available from all good biological reference-book stores.
Example: "Oh My God! And then! He sat down! In them shorts! And...And... I SAW HIS LILY! *shrieks* "

No. 4: The View
The ViewOriginal Definition: Rock hobbits. NME love 'em, everyone else loves 'em. And yet they do not wash. Is there a lesson to be learned here about popularity and bodily smells? Probably.
ChartBlog Definition: "View" - An exclamation at discovering an unpleasant smell. A term for the act of going to the lavatory to pass solids. Could be used to replace the surname of a fictional teddy bear called Winnie.
Examples: "Urr! Has someone farted? Gah! It smells like the View in here!"
"Oh! It was disgusting! I went into the toilet and someone had left a great big the View floating in the bowl..."

No. 3: Lil Chris
Lil' ChrisOriginal Definition: Hamster-faced emo boy champion of Channel 4's 'Rock School', and a young man possessed of a high-pitched and warbly voice, the like of which you would normally only hear coming from a choirboy driving a bouncy castle over a cattle grid...
ChartBlog Definition: "Lil Chris" - Either a way of explaining that you're about to make a visit to the lavatory to pass liquid, or that you feel that someone is mocking you. Can also be used in conjuction with "...Off!" to repel unwanted attention.
Examples: "Back in a minute, just going for a Lil Chris!"
"What? I really like my pink hat! Stop taking the Lil Chris!"

No. 2: The Fratellis
The FratellisOriginal Definition: Scruffy rockers with dirty tales of scuffed romances and girls with knives. Drummer called Mince.
ChartBlog Definition: "Fratelli" - A delicate, nay poetic way of describing any intimate part of someone's body, when you do not wish to cause offence.
First poetic youth:
"My sweet angel, I wish nothing more than to kiss you all over, from your uppermost Nutini right down to your pale and magnificent Fratelli."
Second poetic youth: "What? Not if I have anything to do with it! Now Chris off, you BEDINGFIELD!"

No. 1: James Blunt
James BluntOriginal Definition: Lady-friendly crooner with the dreamy eyes and the softy voice and the video in which he cries about not being your forever love-hunny and then takes his clothes off and jumps into the water, all brave-like...*SIGH*...
ChartBlog Definition: A term of abuse. Only to be used when all other forms of diplomacy have failed, or someone has pushed past you in a huffy way, hasn't said sorry, and you're in a bad mood cos your favourite shoes have a hole in and it's raining.
Example: "Oi! Watch where you're going, you bloody James! Or I'll knock you Back To Jamesing Bedlam double quick!"


  1. At 11:33 AM on 05 Feb 2007, jazzie wrote:

    Hello ! your slang thingy is a whole load of crap !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  2. At 05:09 PM on 05 Feb 2007, sarah wrote:

    awwww poor wee chris

  3. At 05:40 PM on 05 Feb 2007, pooo wrote:

    this is is really wack u should delete it right away befor anyone else sees it

  4. At 10:41 AM on 06 Feb 2007, Amy wrote:

    Well well, this is hardly wack.

    The Fratelli one is good, i'll tell my gran, she can use that. Lily is my prefered rhyming slang word of choice, it's nicely innocent enough for use in supermarkets.

  5. At 08:08 PM on 07 Feb 2007, lorna wrote:

    this is poo

  6. At 09:16 PM on 07 Feb 2007, Amused wrote:

    I don't know what you're all moaning about. That's bloody brilliant!

    PS: Lorna, don't you mean "this is the View?"

  7. At 07:35 PM on 15 Feb 2007, ian wrote:

    does any one know who lily allens agent is please

  8. At 07:03 PM on 22 Feb 2007, lucy wrote:


  9. At 10:30 PM on 16 Mar 2007, jazzy wrote:

    i like lil chris 4eva

  10. At 02:18 PM on 17 Apr 2007, kat.X wrote:

    lil chris is sexual!!

    i want his babies XD

  11. At 02:50 PM on 03 May 2007, Claire wrote:

    What?! Lil Chris aint even old enough to have your babies! Doubt he would even know how to go about producing one either! :p

  12. At 07:11 PM on 21 May 2007, Rachel wrote:

    'Oi! Watch where you're going, you bloody James! Or I'll knock you Back To Jamesing Bedlam double quick'
    Haha thats my new phrase! I said that to someone he other day.....I have loads of really random made-up words i use that not many people know exist.....eg:
    haha its so funny cos no one understands what im saying....lolz!

    [Did you lapse into backwardstalk for some of those? - Fraser]

  13. At 09:33 PM on 21 May 2007, Rachel wrote:

    Now, I'm not the same Rachel as the one above - so this is not her talking to herself, before anyone thinks she (or I) is mad!

    Please translate some of your words, if you're going to put them out there...rattling around with no meaning attached to them, they could end up as anything!!!

    Nyaah sweavel noish meh!

    (Oh no, what have I just said?)

  14. At 10:17 PM on 21 May 2007, Kat wrote:

    I use noish, meh (a LOT) and nyaah/nyah.. but that HAS to have a ! after it :P

  15. At 08:40 PM on 22 May 2007, Rachel wrote:

    (This is Rachel number 2)

    Oh, great! Kat already speaks the language - and I suppose everyone else here does too - I've been talking rubbish in front of you all!!!

  16. At 09:16 PM on 22 May 2007, Rachel wrote:

    Hello again - did you know that the Recent Comments section is stuck on this morning?

  17. At 02:39 PM on 04 Dec 2007, abi carter wrote:

    i love u so much lil chris im ur biggist fan lol

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