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Blog Party - Justin Timberlake

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Fraser McAlpine | 16:41 UK time, Wednesday, 29 November 2006

Crazy-ass internet web-physics time. We present a blog within a blog, in which ultra-famous pop star Justin Timberlake* exposes the inner workings of his mind to a goss-hungry public, and the ChartBlog just sort of stands back and watches. Ooh! Look at him type! He's a DEMON!

Over to you, JT...
Thank you, Chartblog...er..hello.

JustinIt's so nice to be here talking to you all...ah...TYPING to you all, I should say...and letting you experience the kind of unusual activities which are now part of my day-to-day life, from an insider perspective. You, sitting in your humble homes and schools and work-places, will then have some idea of what it is really like to be someone whose life is a very large distance from being run-of-the-mill, and in my own words too.

In fact, you've already read quite a large selection of the words to which I was just referring. And, being a naturally creative kind of person, I have already started to work in some of my favourite words, as a subliminal (that's one, right there) way of raising the standard of intellectual (and another) discourse (yep) within the narrow confines (I'm clearly very inspired today indeed) of what the press insist on calling my 'media profile' (er, no, none of those).

With that in mind, here is just a short excerpt (mmm) from my daily schedule, which some of you may find a little startling and possibly even upsetting. I can only apologise in advance, but I must insist that, having begun this journey with me, you continue to the very end. Otherwise you risk taking away an incomplete picture of my life, and that would never do.

8am-10am - I am an early riser. My companion Cameron and I often like to take a morning stroll around the grounds with the dogs, Achilles and Hercules. Then back to the house for a brief meal of hand-squeezed orange juice and some sunflower seeds. Occasionally, if I'm feeling wayward, I may supplement these meagre pulses with a light spray of sugar-water. I find that it gives me a lift, although Cameron says the sugar-water tends to make me a little frisky.

Justin's Refuge10am- 1pm - Assuming I have not become frisky, we spend a quiet morning in the library. I find the works of Keats to be a balm for the soul, and can often be found lying on the chaise longue with a leather-bound hardback in my hand. By which I mean a book, of course. You could have read that as something much ruder, couldn't you? Thank the good Lord I haven't had my sugar-water sunflower seeds today, or...well let's just say I have been known to take a more direct route to matters of a, er, sensual nature. Oh, how I blush!

1pm - 4pm - Lunch is a basic affair. Just some mineral water, some malt loaf and perhaps a slice of strong cheddar. It has to be a strong cheddar though. I sometimes joke to Cameron that a cheese isn't really a cheese unless one feels like metal bolts are being thrust through one's cheeks as soon as it enters the mouthal cavity. We do laugh about that, and then I reach for the seed jar and she knocks my hand away. Ah, youthful japes!

Justin's FuelOur afternoons are taken up with our combined devotion to the arts. We will maybe pay a visit to a local theatre for a matinee, or a gallery, or an independent cinema, or possibly a recital by our favourite homeless prostitute string quartet - the Ho-Bow-Sexuals . We both enjoy the sounds of almost any musical instrument, from the one-string banjo to the pink oboe. I myself am a devotee of the gluey flute, although Cameron is less than keen on my efforts, it's fair to say.

Ah, speak of the devil, here comes Cameron now with my seeds and sugar-water. I do like a little pick-me-up at this late hour...

30 Minutes Later: AAA-OOOOH! AH JUST DONE HAD ME A GURL! AH AM THU KING OF SEEEEXXX! AIN'T NO-ONE CAN HOLD A CANDLE TO THE TROUSER-SNAKE! WHOOP!

*Clearly, we've not really got the really real Justin Timberlake writing stuff for us. It's just a man we met in the street who SAYS he's Justin Timberlake. That still counts though, right? RIGHT?

Comments

  1. At 12:47 AM on 02 Dec 2006, maya wrote:

    haha @ the 30 minutes later. AH AM THU KING OF SEEEEXXX WOOHOOO

  2. At 01:29 PM on 15 Dec 2006, r wrote:

    hello wats all this about?

    [Easy. It's a made-up version of Justin Timberlake. Hope you like it. - Fraser]

  3. At 10:23 AM on 17 Dec 2006, Mz. Kiedis wrote:

    yes yes, very nice but how about some Red Hot Chili Pepper based stuff? i tell you they don't get enough media attention these days. *hhmph*
    smell ya later
    Mz. K
    xxx
    p.s: Justin Timberlake is lame.

  4. At 11:38 AM on 21 Dec 2006, belinda wrote:

    omg that was hilarios!!!

  5. At 08:31 PM on 21 Dec 2006, Nicole wrote:

    Haha that is Proper funny "Am Thu King of seeeexxxx Wooot!

  6. At 12:49 PM on 19 Jan 2007, leanne wrote:

    is justin nd camran ova????????i hope dey nt dey luk sooooo cute!!!!!!!xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

  7. At 03:00 PM on 24 Jan 2007, Shell wrote:

    How crap!!!! OMG PLZ GET A LIFE!!!!!!!!!!

  8. At 03:06 PM on 24 Jan 2007, shell!!!!! wrote:

    i think this is a very RgUjBgIdSgH peice! get a life! GOD!!

  9. At 12:29 PM on 30 Jan 2007, Justin Fan! wrote:

    so very funny and he is so cute! I even have a site about him!

  10. At 02:48 PM on 12 Mar 2007, emily wrote:

    Y? justin timberlake is odddddddddddd nd a tad GAY!

  11. At 04:59 PM on 04 May 2007, Dodger wrote:

    hiiiiii that was funny never knew JT was so intellectual lol. JT is straaaaange and needs a little ribbing to deflate his already massive head lol hehe

    (am feeling hyper today)

    dodger xxxx loooooooooooooooooooooooool (hehe)

    000000

    lol

    i shall now go away and stop annoying everyone.

  12. At 12:13 AM on 01 Jun 2007, Scouser, apinin wrote:

    Justin Is Sex On Legs

  13. At 04:33 AM on 18 Jun 2007, christian wrote:

    hmm
    innner workings of his mind.
    i think the daily blabber has it right on with JT and old sexy back..
    Check it out:
    http://video.ivillage.com/player/?id=119933

  14. At 08:19 PM on 19 Sep 2007, leah wrote:

    OMG what that about?

  15. At 11:23 AM on 24 Sep 2007, jamie-lee wrote:

    Hi justin ore you ok have you made a new song up yet can you tell me now please because i need to now.

  16. At 09:46 AM on 25 Sep 2007, deborah wrote:

    JT IS KOOL AS F***!! XxXxX

  17. At 11:28 AM on 14 Dec 2007, amy wrote:

    yh he is cute i hink he n shane ward luk a lyk who agrees

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