You've got to hand it to Florence, she's not easily intimidated.

Some people - and by 'people' I mean 'singers who are not participating in the X Factor' - would've found the idea of covering what is already a pretty damn perfect song to be a scary prospect. Some would've deliberately toned down some of the better bits - the melody, those monolithic piano chords - in order to prevent snarky comparisons between the better-known, much-loved version and this new attempt.

Others would've gone as quiet and acoustic as humanly possible, maybe making a big deal out of how the recording is 'live', and therefore bound to be subject to human error - but really catching a vibe off the original which is actually totally true to the spirit of what people really love about it in the first plaZZZzzzzzz

(Here's the video. I've heard of a gibbous moon, but this is ridiculous.)

My point being, Florence throws herself as wholeheartedly into this song as she does into the dressing-up box, and this is what being a good pop star is all about. A sparkling brass neck to go with those shiny sequins.

And the end result is very nearly brilliant. It has everything the original has - namely a heart as big as Chippenham, a sense of wounded pride, but also optimism, gritted teeth and a great big sack of devotion. Florence's elvish foghorn perhaps lacks some of the subtlety of Candi Staton's passionate wail, but that's OK.

It's just a question of emphasis. Candi sings as if she's been to hell and back, but knows she can rely on the Lord above, even if everything else in her life crashes down around her. With Florence it feels less spiritual and more earthbound, like she's singing to an actual man - or woodnymph - rather than God.

The down side is that she occasionally comes across more as vexed because she's left her purse in the park, which makes her MAAAD. But also HAAAPPPEEEE that her fella will bring it home on his way back from magic club.

Anyway, enough about Florence. Who wants to come and help me sing my brilliant - and entirely original - new song? Good, I thought so. It's all about a scary chef who loses his sense of smell, and can no longer cook soup. The chorus goes like this, join in when you feel confident:

"With his whites on, he's outrageous,
Eerie Arnold gets his wages
Evil stew pit, but courageous
Eerie Arnold's taking ages
Adenoidal
Adenoidal
Adenoidal (repeat until end)"

Oh. Just me then.

Download: Out now
CD Released: November 16th
florenceandthemachine.net
BBC Music page

(Fraser McAlpine)

There's a saying in showbiz, that you should never meet your heroes in case they let you down. Well, I'd like to add that the opposite is also true. Never meet people whose work you're not that bothered about, because they might win you over in other ways.

I mean, how am I supposed to maintain a good head of steam about Keane and their posh-boy pianola guffola, if a brief telephone call is all it takes to convince me that drummer Richard is as thoroughly pleasant and decent a fella as you'd ever hope to clap ears on.

All I had to do was talk to him for a short while about the re-release of their debut album 'Hopes And Fears' and how the past five years in the public eye has changed the band. Surely my mild prejudices and not-that-deeply-held ambivalence wouldn't collapse in such a short time? Surely I could keep my inner snarky blogmonster alive, even if he does reveal a huge admiration for my beloved Ting Tings?

Well, it seems not, as this interview transcript clearly demonstrates...

ChartBlog: When was the last time you listened to 'Hopes And Fears' all the way through?
Richard: Actually, I haven't listened to the whole thing straight through for a very long time. But we did listen to a few tracks a bit on the tourbus. The last thing we did was a tour of North America and Canada and Tim played a couple of songs on the back of the bus, late one drunken night, and I was amazed at how fresh it sounded. I think I had in my head an idea of how it sounds and it was a little bit better!

ChartBlog: You didn't listen back appalled and thinking "I had no idea I was doing that, and I have no idea why I was doing that..."
Richard: To be honest, when you listen back to it compared to the way we play now, I think we've played something like 500 gigs in the intervening period between now and when it came out, and the way you play songs changes over the course of that length of time. But it sounds relatively politely played, rather than us hammering the songs as loud as we can in the studio or whatever. But I guess that's the way a band develops, so I guess that's pretty interesting...

ChartBlog: [long pause] ...er, yeah! Sorry, I was just...did you say you've done 500 gigs in five years? That's an average of 100 gigs a year...one every three days...or thereabouts. That's quite busy, isn't it?
Richard: Yeah, that's about right. I only know this because we've got an archive of all the gigs we've done on our website, and I was ichatting with the guy who runs our website recently and he said "yeah, you've got 570 gigs in our archive". So I'm guessing that 70 or more of them will have been done before we released 'Hopes And Fears'.

ChartBlog: Sheesh! Could you be the only band in the history of popular music to have a band member collapse with ACTUAL nervous exhaustion?
Richard: It is a lot of gigs but...we like playing live. Which I guess is a good job.

ChartBlog: And you can afford a bass player now...
Richard: Well yeah! For the last year we've had a guy called Jesse Quin with us. He's been with us since before we started 'Perfect Symmetry'. He's a lovely man, I actually play the drums in his band sometimes.

ChartBlog: Yeah, cos what you need is more gigs! Still, he must take the pressure off Tim's right hand...
Richard: Yeah, that's the thing about the development of the band, you try new things.

ChartBlog: There was never any suggestion that you would take up a multitude of simultaneous instruments to try and lend Tim a hand?
Richard: Erm...we have talked about it! [laughs] I think my total lack of musicianship probably counts in my favour there.

ChartBlog: So you escaped Tim pointing at the Ting Tings and yelling "SEE? HE controls the loops and keeps the drums going, now HELP ME OUT HERE!"
Richard: I did go and see them, and I've got to say Jules is pretty impressive the way he does all that. I'm in awe of the way they run their show. I love that there's this two-piece band who do all this stuff on loops and it is actually live. Cos so many people would just press the space bar on iTunes.

ChartBlog: That's what made their first Jools Holland appearance so amazing, cos it's Jools Holland, it has to have been live. They don't let people sing along to backing tapes...
Richard: Exactly. I've seen them a few times. In fact while we were mixing the record Tim and I went along to see them in LA. Cos Tim had been banging on about how great he thought that album was. And I was saying "I like it, but I can't quite get my teeth into it", and then I saw it live and it just clicked. For the entirety of the 'Perfect Symmetry' tour, we used 'That's Not My Name' as the song that we had played on the PA just before we came on.

ChartBlog: Ahh...that kind of works for Keane, doesn't it? Cos that song is all about people feeling misrepresented and devalued, and you've had that ride with the critics and people like me. Do you ever crave a bit more respect?
Richard: I think it took us a long time to get used to the idea that we were never going to be critical darlings. In fact our most recent album got much better reviews that we were expecting, and in a way, at that point it was a shame because we had finally reached the point where we didn't care!

I don't think you can ever claim that it has no effect on you, but definitely I would never have it round the other way. We have fans that travel around the world with us. We got to Australia, there were some British fans that travelled there, and then they showed up in Moscow!

ChartBlog: Just to hear you play the drums, Richard.
Richard: I should probably give the other two a little bit of credit.

ChartBlog: They're not here, they'll never know.
Richard: No...where are they? What are they doing?

ChartBlog: Well Tim's a busy man.
Richard: Yes.

================================

Keane are also available in website form...
And BBC Music form...

Let's get the bad news out of the way first: If you were looking for reasons to take against this song, there's plenty of evidence to fuel your argument. You'd be WRONG, but that's not really the point, is it?

For example, taken as a whole, there is nothing particularly new or fresh happening here. It's got the same basic production as any number of R&B slow jams doing the rounds at the moment, suffers from an attack of the cyberthroats, and the same synthetic string section that everyone else has been plugging into their mixing desks. It is, in a very real sense, SO 2009.

On the other hand, who cares? It IS 2009, for the time being at least.

What makes this a cut above the usual is the daring melody at the heart of things, and the robo-harmonies, which weave around each other like wrestling snakes. It's relatively easy to tart up a dull tune with some harmonies, but if you've got something which isn't afraid to throw itself around a bit, then the harmonies can do likewise and before you know it, your song is a purring firework display in the sky.

That's essentially what this is, but it might take a listen or two for the depth of colour to reveal itself. The good news is that if you let Jason's spiralling robo-choir worm their way under your defences, you will find that they're only here to do nice things, like plump your emotional cushions and stroke your sore feelings. It's as if there was some Dr Who-style invasion scenario, only in this reality, the Daleks actually use their sink-plungers for, y'know, unblocking the sink.

Or, to rein in the metaphors for a second: This is a very good song with very good singing on it. Please take the time to listen to it. Thank you.

Download: Out now
CD Released: November 16th
www.myspace.com/jasonderulo
(Fraser McAlpine)

PS: In retrospect, I wish to retract the sentence "plump your emotional cushions". Sorry.

When Fraser asked me to review Leona Lewis' new single 'Happy', I thought he was having me on. No, I actually did. Because seriously, when has the word 'happy' EVER been associated with a Leona Lewis song??

Well, it turns out it wasn't, and still isn't, a joke (something I'm quite grateful for, cos I would have had to seriously re-evaluate Fraser's practical joke skills if it had been). For a brief moment, I got a bit excited. Has Leona gone all Alphabeat? Has she blown her 'I'm boring and have no personality' facade out the water? Has she finally decided she's HAPPY with her worldwide domination?

Has she heck. Guys, this is LEONA we're talking about. Only she could make being pleased sound like a chore...

The song is pretty much exactly what anyone would have expected from her comeback - it's good, it's strong but oh, it's just that little bit boring. Think you haven't heard it yet? Trust me, you have, it's the one you wrote off as a poor man's 'Bleeding Love'. That's not to say though that it isn't good in parts, because it REALLY is. One of those parts is obviously her voice, which really is flipping incredible and manages to convey her emotion beautifully - that bit where she sings really high? Actual goosebumps. Then there's the chorus: it's big, it's epic and it's catchy and it makes an otherwise aimlessly meandering song stand out. Oh and that "don't say victim" bit is great, managing to sound oddly vulnerable but strong at the same time.

And so on to the 'happy' thing. Well, the video is tragic, the feel of the song is tragic and the lyrics are tra... oh, actually wait, the lyrics aren't too tragic. Yes, they're about how bad the world can be and how you have to fight the bad in order to feel okay, and yes there is none of this actual 'feeling okay' in the song, but there's a sense of positiveness that comes in the form of that fighting spirit; the strength. Okay, so I had to do my own form of fighting to get to the remotely positive angle, but still. It's there. And I feel I have achieved something by discovering it. In fact, I feel a bit happy...

So anyway, now I'm off to ask Fraser to review the new song by The Jonas Brothers. It's a cover of 'Sex on the Beach'.

Download: Out now
CD Released: November 2nd
http://www.leonalewismusic.co.uk
BBC Music page

(Vicki Lutas)

This was never going to be an 'if' hit, it was always a 'when'. From the very first time Ke$ha got on that gold bike, her chart success with this dirty little ditty was only ever a matter of time. And no, that's not supposed to be a pun on the song's title.

I mean it would've been a good one if it WAS, but I didn't do it on purpose.

The fact that I'm writing this a few weeks before the CD hits the shelves, while in the sure knowledge that people are already downloading this in sizeable numbers is neither here nor there. It's a hit, a palpable hit, as Shakespeare would say.

OK, fair enough, a certain amount of the ground work for this has already been done by her Ladiness of GaGa, this being something of a lost sibling to 'Just Dance' in places, but that doesn't mean Ke$ha has nothing to bring to the party. She's no lady, for starters, and she's pretty gaga...

That was a cheap shot, something Ke$ha clearly knows a fair amount about, if her slurred tales of drunken nights out and general terribly bad behaviour are anything to go by. She does make it sound kinda fun though. OK, LOTS of fun. In her world, it's always happy hour, always ladies night, and if things get messy at the end, well that's just proof that you're having a good time.

Pop songs are allowed to say stuff like this, because they are short. They only ever aim to capture one tiny moment in time. It's not exactly health and safety, but there again, when was the last time health and safety claimed to look hot on a stage, mic in hand?

Exactly, people should know their jobs and stick to them.

For example, mine is to tell you again that this has 'hit' written all over it, you just can't see it cos it's too damn dirty.

Download: Out now
CD Released: November 30th
www.keshasparty.com
BBC Music page

(Fraser McAlpine)

No matter how helpful, no matter how well designed or crafted they may be, robots are always best when they're just a little bit rubbish. It puts them on a par with the rest of us.

It's a lot easier to think fondly of an automaton which walks stiffly, or can't manage stairs, or struggles to comprehend a relatively simple human emotion like hunger, than some sparkling metal über-person which is smarter than you, prettier than you, and learned to play boogie-woogie piano to a better-than-Jools-Holland standard in an afternoon. And this is because we all know people like that, people who excel in one area, but can't really get to grips with something most people find pretty straightforward. Y'know...NERDS.

This applies to electropop too. Music technology being what it is, it would be relatively easy to make everything in a song like this sound perfect. To lose the buzzy synth sounds and sneezy drums and replace them with shiny plushness and velvet wonder, but just as the human characters in any early Disney-Pixar film will tell you, the closer you get to perfection, the more unsettling and strange you appear.

Ou Est aren't even trying to be perfect anyway. They come from a place where all the robots are dirty, sleazy and grumpy, but never happy or bashful. They come from some scabby bar in the middle of Camden where romance may be thin on the ground, but the filth is not. And being big-hearted people in a brutal cyberworld, their only outlet is to act in as human a manner as possible, if only cos it makes the robots tip their heads to one side slightly and ask "what is this human emotion you call 'dance'?"

Trouble is, having fairly literally opened a can of worms by expressing their vulnerable, meaty human innards, all the melancholy sadness comes pouring out. 'Dance The Way I Feel' may be a charming pop song about dancing yourself cheerful, but it's quite a sad one too.

Naturally this just confuses the robots even more - "if you are 'happy', why do you 'cry'?" - and ironically, this confusion reminds everyone that they're not perfect either, which just makes them all the more loveable.

So remember, you're not just listening to pretty music here, you're helping to create a brave new world where robots and humans can grow to understand and, maybe one day, love one another. Don't be scared, chickabiddies, Ou-topia awaits!

Download: Out now
CD Released: November 9th
www.myspace.com/ouestleswimmingpool

(Fraser McAlpine)

First impressions are crucial, especially in an overcrowded arena like modern popular song. You've got to grab the attention straight away, or at least, tickle the fun-receptors in the human brain in an enticing fashion, so's to encourage everyone to listen again.

Because of this, the context in which a song is first heard can make all the difference in the world. For example: There's a song at the end of the film Fantastic Mr Fox, called 'Let Her Dance' by the Bobby Fuller Four. It's very old. It sort of sounds like Buddy Holly (ask your great grandma) in a cave filled with magical echo. But it's the grand finale of the film, and it sounds amazing in the cinema...

...so guess what I've been listening to pretty much non-stop ever since the weekend? Yup.

The difference is, this is a gritty look at the realities of modern urban life, in which bad things happen. VERY bad things. You can tell from the video.

(Sorry, I can't show you the video. It's too real.)

So, to try and divorce the song from the context of the film is probably a non-starter. The video alone is a very powerful thing. At this point, having very thoroughly examined both song and video, I have no idea which one is doing the bulk of the legwork in getting this sense of powerful darkness across.

Cos this thing here is some bad juju. It might start like strummy, summery indie pop, but the funereal strings soon blot out the sunshine, and when the beat kicks in, it is with all the cold force of a sleetfall on a blustery day. And even though there are patches of relief, where the onslaught stops and the clouds disperse a little, they don't last long before all hell breaks loose again.

OK, looks like it's the song doing the work. Suddenly that Fox doesn't look so Fantastic after all...

Download: Out now
CD Released: November 2nd
www.chaseandstatus.com
BBC Music page

(Fraser McAlpine)

I'm almost scared to mention the word "Sugababes" in case we all end up getting bogged down with the endless debate over which was better out of Sugababes 1.0, 2.0, 3.0 and now 4.0, and whether (yawn) they still have the right to call themselves Sugababes given the absence of all the original members.

(For the record, I think the Sugababes brand has been more important than any of the individual members since Mutya left, so quite why it took Keisha's departure to get everyone all het up I don't know, but again, I don't want to go any further down this road because it's going to upset all kinds of applecarts.)

Anyway, the crucial thing is that this is their first official single with the new line-up, arriving after all the tales of scandal and backstabbing, and a brilliant rumour that the three original 'Babes were forming a new band, and poor Amelle having to take time off with nervous exhaustion (and really, regardless of where you stand on the line-up change, you still know that's got to be unpleasant), so a lot of eyes are going to be on the girls to see if they're still up to the job.

And actually, it's quite a pleasant surprise. Where traditionally the second single from any Sugababes album tends to be more sedate than its predecessor, this one is strident and unapologetic, and rivals 'Get Sexy' for attitude if not for overall levels of noise.

It's a dancefloor-friendly tune with an insistent chorus that echoes around your head, and probably feels the most like classic Sugababes (of the 'Freak Like Me' and 'Hole In The Head' era) that they've sounded since before the abomination that was 'Girls', while at the same time sounding current enough to suggest that they've finally got the stabilisers on and figured out which way they need to go.

Since this song was written and recorded long before the line-up change (though has been re-recorded to add Jade's vocals onto it now, natch), it doesn't necessarily follow that this gives us a good indication of what's to follow from Sugababes 4.0, but on the off chance that it does, I'm happy.

Download: Out now
CD Released: November 9th
www.sugababes.com
BBC Music page

(Steve Perkins)

I love N-Dubz. I don't think I've managed to ever quite make this clear, probably because I always end up trying to analyse why I love what they do, and get stuck trying to define how different they are from, say, the Black Eyed Peas or something. Usually it's all about the funny, strange or downright slapdash things which appear in their songs, and that always comes across like a criticism. It's not meant to. Character is very important, and perfection is dull.

What I love most about N-Dubz is that all three of them throw very different points of view into the same song, and only come together for the chorus. This is a great example. You've got Dappy being all lost and lovesick because he met a girl and she wandered off before he got her deets. Then there's Tulisa, who has much the same story although it's a little more graphic (we'll get to it in a sec).

Fazer's job seems to be to stand at the back shouting abuse at womankind in general. It undercuts the romantic element a bit, but what the heck, some people like shouting.

So, just so that we're clear, here's two examples of why this is a great song by a band that I love.

Example of N-Dubz being very good at their job:
Dappy: "I went to go on Facebook, trying to get a face-back
Looking for you is like a needle in a haystack"

What you've got here is a slice of real life, followed by a pun, and then a well-known phrase used as perfect poetry - like they teach in schools - to hammer the point home. A swing and a hit.

Example of N-Dubz being preposterously real:
Tulisa: "Popped to the ladies for a sec
[spoken] Er, I'll be back in five, yeah?
But when I came back out he left"

Can anyone else remember the last time a pop song mentioned going to the toilet? EVER? I mean people talk about keeping it real, but there's pop song real and then there's actual reality. If Fazer's jibes hadn't already popped the romance bubble, this would have finished the job off.

I guess they'll have been trying to avoid expressions like "powder my nose" because they can be deliberately mis-interpreted (by people like me), and anyway, it's mum-talk. AND it's clearly important to the plot of the song that Tulisa turns her back on the man she's just met, for a reason which can't be interpreted by him as a dismissal, and he disappears...but STILL...

It's this kind of bonkers happenstance which I love. I basically do internal bogglejumps whenever they do something like that. Pop songs are so safe, and N-Dubz seem to wander over the lines of acceptable behaviour almost as if they don't realise they are there.

Docked one star for the b-word bit.

Download: Out now
CD Released: September 28th
www.umtv.co.uk/n-dubz
BBC Music page

(Fraser McAlpine)

PS: Heh..."popped to the ladies for a sec". Amazing.

There's an episode of Family Guy, where Peter Griffin gets a job as a shouty-pundit for the local TV news show, in a section called What Really Grinds My Gears. And one of the things that, y'know, reallygrindshisgears is Lindsay Lohan writhing around about attractively on TV, and not wearing a right lot, while he's sitting watching at home.

"What do you want, Lindsay? Are we gonna go out?" he bellows, "TELL ME WHAT YOU WANT! Well I'll tell you what you want, you want NOTHING!"

And although it's just a cartoon, and there's a payoff line about no woman ever wanting to do anything rude ever that I've chosen to gloss over, it's the first thing that comes to mind every single time I hear this song.

I'm pretty sure that's not what Team Spears had in mind. In fact, I'm pretty sure that the reaction they wanted was something along these lines:

"Whoah! Is Britney singing about what I THINK she's singing about? SHEESUS! And I thought Katy Perry was racey! I totally HAVE to have this song in my mind at ALL TIMES. Because even the THOUGHT of Britney singing about what I THINK she's singing about is so pleasing to me, that I cannot bear not to be able to think about that thought at all times, or else I will go mad. MAD I TELL YOU!"

And if that is close to being your reaction, I cannot in all truth say that I blame you. There's some heavy-duty seduction going on here. I nearly fell for it myself, as I'm a sucker for songs where the melody is all one note.

Also, even though it's probably a bit disrespectful to go ahead with the release of this so soon after Mary from Peter, Paul and Mary died - especially in the context Britney's using their name - it's kind of brilliant that a modern days pop song can play with the image of earnest '60s folkies in this way.

On the other hand, it's an incredibly icky song, and the "hey don't be offended, it's just a bit of innocent fun" breakdown bit is rubbish. It won't pacify anyone, and it's cowardly to put it in there.

You wouldn't catch Lindsay Lohan doing it, that's for def. She's got too much class. (I KNOW!)

Download: Out now
CD Released: November 9th
www.britneyspears.com
BBC Music page

(Fraser McAlpine)

Say what you like about avant garde music, but it's comparatively easy to get a bunch of arty experimentalists to sit through unpleasant grinding droney noises. It takes a spine of purest steel to introduce that same noise to a chartbound pop song, and keep it going for almost the entire thing.

Have a listen to Calvin's latest, it sounds like a blacksmith sharpening a knife on a grindstone made of catghost, and it lasts from the moody, introspective beginning - those 'Music Sounds Better With You' chords are treating you well, Calvin - all the way through the skippy beat, and up to the big chorus kickoff moment. Then there's a temporary reprieve, before it's back for the last choruses and the fadeout.

Yeah! Beat that, John Cage!

This is what Calvin is best at, making euphoric dance music with a menacing undercurrent, as if to say you had better get your party on while you can, because it won't be the middle of the dance-floor in the middle of the night forever, and the dawn always greets you like a smack in the face with a wet haddock.

Heck, even the LYRICS of 'Flashback' are about this very thing. Seen the boy/girl of your dreams? Go get her/him, and quickly, or spend the rest of your life regretting it. And it's universal too, you could just as easily apply it to a nice pair of shoes, a car, a new friend, some electrical equipment or a hot pie.

Make sure you do do it though, or that noise will haunt you in your dreams...FOREVER.

Download: Out now
CD Released: November 2nd
www.calvinharris.co.uk
BBC Music page

(Fraser McAlpine)

Truth be told, right now, I'm feeling a bit empty inside. This might be due to the fact I haven't eaten breakfast yet and it's 11.57am; it might be because I just went to get a state of the art fancy phone but was told I'd need to pay a £450 deposit which meant I couldn't get it; OR it might be because I have been listening to The Black Eyed Peas new single on repeat for the past hour.

I'm not a huge fan of The Black Eyed Peas, but 'Boom Boom Pow' was an absolute TUNE and don't even get me started on 'I Got a Feeling' (seriously, I find it incredible that a song can have an immediately nostalgic effect on you, like, even when you're in the moment.)

Anyway, to be honest, in a nutshell, this is no 'I Got A Feeling'. Although, likewise, it does have an interesting effect that I've never really experienced. Namely that it does less and less for me on each and every play.

It's not all negative though. Not at all. You see, this song is actually pretty distinctive and, despite its non sing-a-long-able-ness, it's actually quite catchy. I mean, I had no idea I knew it at all when I first hit play, but straight away it was like "OH! THAT song!"

Fergie's vocals are (obviously) the best thing about the song. I'm not really a huge fan of the other guys at the best of times, but her voice manages to bring life to the somewhat 80's sounding tune. It shouldn't work, but it really does. (Speaking of her vocals though, I do have to say - did anyone else think Fergie's "ohhh-ohhh-ohhhh" at the beginning meant the song was going to be a cover of Madonna's 'Frozen'? Just me then. Okay.)

For such an up-in-the-air, time-travelling song, it's got a very real, a very grounded sentiment. Fergie cries out for her love to meet her halfway, having gone as far as she can for them; that sense of realness adds to the song's charm.

So, although the song leaves a void inside of me that probably only a slice of toast can fill, overall it's got some great qualities. Will I remember it in a year's time like their other recent efforts? Probably not. But it's got a lot of great components and for that, I'll tell ya what Black Eyed Peas, I'll meet you half way with my rating...

Download: Out now
CD Released: November 2nd
www.blackeyedpeas.com
BBC Music page

(Vicki Lutas)

WARNING: This review may contain shameless plugs for a music event called Switch Live, which is happening next weekend. See if you can spot them.

In the career graveyard of failed boybands, forgotten girlbands and why-don't-people-love-me-any-more solo singers, the name JLS reverberates like a smashed plate in a cathedral. They're an old-fashioned boyband who are carving a name for themselves in a pop landscape which claims to no longer need old-fashioned boybands, unless they are actually old. And even then, you basically have to be Take That or you're nobody.

"Surely", the whisper goes, "if JLS can do it, then WE can do it! All we have to do is BELIEVE, and OUR TIME WILL COME. Today, the graveyard, tomorrow, Switch Live. And then the world will feel the mighty power of BOYZENDORFER!"

Now, I do not pretend to understand why JLS's old-school moves are winning through where other acts have not - apart from that whole TV talent show endorsement thing, obv - but while they're putting out high quality softypop like this - and appearing at Switch Live - I can't say I'm all that bothered.

And it's not like there's no attempt to make this sound fresh. Those fingerdrums are an unusual embellishment for an open-hearted, soppy, anthemic pop song like this, and they really work too. Their job is to be the salt in the cake recipe, a contrast to the supersweet harmonies which prevents the whole endeavour from inducing a sugar coma in the casual listener.

It's still a really sweet song though. It would definitely sound amazing live - at Switch Live, for example - with an auditorium full of people yelling "everybody in love, gwan put your hands up" and throwing their arms around with total abandon and glee. Why, something like that would possibly be the most exciting thing to ever happen ever, wouldn't you say?

Well, the most exciting until Boyzendorfer rock Switch Live 2010, that is.

Download: Out now
CD Released: November 2nd
www.jlsofficial.com
BBC Music page

(Fraser McAlpine)

PS: Here's a special extra thing to apologise for all the Switch Live stuff. If you're a fan of rave-inflected Enrique-but-not-boring pop music, you could do worse than have a listen to 'Breathing Your Love' by Darin ft. Kat DeLuna. He's very big in Sweden, which should be recommendation enough.
PPS: Switch Live.

For everyone else, here's a warning in good time and everything:

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Lots of love

Fraser (Team ChartBlog)

Is it possible, do you suppose, to plot out the arc of an entire relationship using just Beyoncé and Destiny's Child songs as narrative? To the extent where you could make a film of it, without any dialogue, just songs, and it would all make sense?

Naturally, it would be a romance, but it would have to go horribly wrong in the middle, and there could be no doubt that it's all the boy's fault for being a low down dirty cheating piece of rubbishy old rubbish.

And the bit where the heroine - and let's not mince words, she is DEFINITELY a heroine for putting up with that slimy wretch - gets her life back on track and finally calls him up on his nonsense...well that bit is going to have to last a while. Possibly over an hour.

This song, thankfully, won't be part of that hour. No, it'll take place shortly after things have really started to go wrong, but before they go really REALLY wrong.

The heroine will be deeply hurt, and wish she had never got into this crazy thing in the first place (oh how ironic the word 'crazy' seems to her now), and she'll look deep inside herself to see if she has the strength to carry on, now that her rock has turned out to be made of mud.

He'll be out, doing her wrong, and she'll be at home, curled into a photogenic corner and resolving to see this thing through to the bitter end, no matter what, because she will not let herself be the victim.

The piano will start, she will emote for a solid four minutes - drum machine, strings and all - and then he'll come home, all cocksure. That's when she finally snaps and throws him out, to the left, to the left...

Hey, I'm not saying it would be a GOOD film, but it would definitely work, right?

Download: Out now
CD Released: November 2nd
www.beyonceonline.com
BBC Music page

(Fraser McAlpine)