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Friday 15 October 2010, 18:15

Mark Kermode Mark Kermode

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That time has come around again when I get to talk about what you are talking about on the Kermode Uncut blog, which this week includes the delights of the cinemas of your childhood and the terrors of Buried, Devil and Eat Pray Love (Vomit).

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    Comment number 1.

    It's a hedge?

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    Comment number 2.

    Ten years seems about fair for plot spoilers. I thought you were okay on that.

    The boat sinks at the end.

    The husband isn't really dead.

    He was the virgin sacrifice all along.

    Not only is she the killer, she's also A MAN.

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    Comment number 3.

    Continuing on from the above post;

    Tyler isn't real.

    Louis Cypher is the Devil.

    The detective is the killer.

    He gets back and the Doc isn't dead.

    Yes two are from the same film, tell me which and you'll get a gold star.

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    Comment number 4.

    I think ten to fifteen years is okay for plot spoilers. This is the great problem with plot twists: If they are really effective then everybody will soon know about it, making it less effective in future. However, if it's crap then it's blatantly obvious or just nonsensical. Look at M. Night Shang-a-lang's movies, his twists became expected and quite frankly...who cares anymore? And there's only so many twists that can be done.

    Oh, and HE IS HIS FATHER!

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    Comment number 5.

    Oh an one more than I forgot;

    They give the baby back at the end.

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    Comment number 6.

    @MrBogle: Angel Heart?

    He was still on Earth the whole time!

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    Comment number 7.

    Bad one this but it is over 10 years old:

    Verbal is Keyser Soze.

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    Comment number 8.

    The butler did it. And it was all a dream anyway.

    I think the point about Dumbledore's Unhappy Event was that while the book had been out there for some years, the film had not, and there are people out there who haven't read the books and have no intention of reading the books, like me. The Vanishing (Spoorloos) has been out there for a while now, and Dr K does bring it up regularly, for example whenever the scary/12A issue comes up.

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    Comment number 9.

    I only watched Citizen Kane for the first time a few weeks ago. Before I even put the DVD in I said to myself "It's a sledge", because it's the example you use every time when the subject of spoilers arises. I realise it was released in 1941 but I was born in 1989, making all that time irrelevant. A great film nonetheless.

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    Comment number 10.

    Nice round up of comments Dr K!
    Damn it @Amber you beat me to it! I was gonna say Angel Heart!

    He was on earth all along!

    He escaped through a whole behind the poster!

    I am your father!

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    Comment number 11.

    She's given birth to the Devil's Spawn!

    His mother wasn't the killer after all!

    Harry isn't dead!

    It was all a dream!

    He's actually about to die you know!

    He's an alien clone, don't talk to him!

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    Comment number 12.


    Dumbledore dies!!! the film is ruined! x(

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    Comment number 13.

    All spoilers are fine after about 5 years (as long as it's not something I've been meaning to get round to watching).

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    Comment number 14.

    Am enjoying this game so will contribute the following:

    The demons were hoodies with masks on!

    Borden has a twin brother!

    It all takes place in present day!

    Charlie is one half of Robert De Niro, who has a split personality!

    As far as The Vanishing issue is concerned, I agree with the five year moratorium. Any shorter and you're giving people enough chance to see it, and any longer is simply unnecessary.

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    Comment number 15.

    To those that say they regret (through youth) having not experienced having local cinemas like the Phoenix (nice cinema; been there a few times) that showed films, now considered classics, as part of routine double bills etc.

    These local cinemas were (mostly) killed off by VHS video, the video/DVD rental shops and by satellite TV.

    To those that say they never had the experience of the local cinema, but only have the modern multiplex, never say never.
    Technology is fast changing; I now watch more TV on my PC than on a TV set.

    I spent a formative part of my movie going years in my local flea-pit back in the 70's. (Mine was the Belgrave cinema on Mutely Plain in Plymouth. Last time I visited it was being used as a snooker hall.)

    Bear with me, this has a point for you too.

    Back in the days the main Odeon & ABC cinemas in the centre of town showed the latest big features first; but most districts had a local cinema that showed these films shortly after the first-run at the main cinemas had ended. (The equivalent back then of it going nowadays to Sky or DVD.)

    These local cinemas were well supported (if dingy - and often rowdy; smoking was allowed back then and many were near local pubs).

    Often the bills were of movies judged to be popular attractions; war movies, westerns, Clint Eastwoods and the like got shown over and over again.

    However, more imaginative owners would also book a supporting feature (double bills were commonplace back then) that otherwise wouldn't get a large audience; though attracting much critical attention; I suspect many of these cinema owners were also cinephiles, and realised they also had a loyal (if smaller) audience with similar tastes.

    This could mean seeing, say, a subtitled Polanski film supporting a rubbish dubbed Spaghetti western; a somewhat surreal pairing, but trying to please two audiences.

    Don't bet that the multiplexes will be there in 30/50 years time.
    If we can soon consume movies as easily as we can now watch TV programmes, on demand, on iPlayer (if by a Pay-per-View system) and view them on a large screen (it doesn't have to be a TV) then the multiplex may become part of history too.

    I admit, I have borrowed pirated movies from friends of friends, and only a day or two after they are released.

    No the quality isn't as good; but you get the whole movie.
    They just download, burn to DVD and sell for a £ or two. The major studios releasing movies on an iPlayer (if pay per view basis)can't be more than a decade away; that's one reason why the studios are now so keen on 3D, only shown in multiplexes; it's hard to pirate.

    I'll also mention one of the biggest surprises, to me at least; that people seem prepared to watch video (Youtube, iPlayer etc) on very small screens; the rise of the handheld device, net books, iPads etc.

    Never say never. When you're Mark's age you might be taking about multiplexes; and those half your age might be envious.

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    Comment number 16.

    Any chance of teaching your Cameraman the basics of cinematogrophy?. If not just please tell them to leave alone the zoom.

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    Comment number 17.

    Well, I have now watched the Vanishing having all tension removed from myself given that I already knew the horrifying ending.

    It's ridiculous that a film can be spoiled after a certain amount of time. I think it's less to do with how long the film has been out, but more to do with how popular it is. Most people I know wouldn't mind if I spoiled Inception because, well, they've already seen it. But they'd be mad if I spoiled The Vanishing for them.

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    Comment number 18.

    I don't think there should be a time limit, after which its ok to reveal an important aspect of a movie. The worry with such a thing is that it labels all movies who have such aspects as worthy of equal treatment. So the reveals of "Psycho" or "The Vanishing" are treated equally with something like "The Happening".

    Instead I say before speaking about a given film ask yourself the following questions:

    "Is this film worthy of seeing, and if so is this aspect of it pivotal to its merit?"

    "Does telling this information to someone who hasn't seen the movie impact negatively on the films merit?"

    If the answer is "yes" then don't reveal the point.

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    Comment number 19.

    It is never acceptable to give away the ending of a movie regardless of when it was made.

    I am sick to death of programmes, magazines, etc, that compile a list of best movies, and spoil the ending, or pretty much reveal most of the plot.

    When critics give away spoilers then you’re not enticing the majority of the audience to watch the movie, they will simply skip it and move on to another movie, because they feel that now they know the punch line, then there is no need to see the film, therefore you have lost a potential fan(s) of the movie rather than gaining them.

    For example, I have never seen Don't Look Now, as I don't see the point in watching it because you (Mark) have given away the ending, and various pivotal scenes throughout the movie.

    Now it’s not just you that have spoilt Don‘t Look Now, there have been loads of other critics who have gone in to great detail about it, and there is even a pop band called Big Audio Dynamite in which their music video is made up of various scenes from the movie.

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    Comment number 20.

    Another "spoiler"; she actually dies... which reminds me - don't forget to buy the Alien Anthology on Oct. 25th, which features TWO cuts of the Doc's excellent Alien: Evolution!!!!


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Outspoken, opinionated and never lost for words, Mark is the UK's leading film critic.

This twice-weekly video blog is the place where he airs his personal views on the things that most fire him up about cinema - and invites you to give your own opinions.

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