iPlayer Radio What's New?

The Ten Worst Christmas Movies Ever

Friday 21 December 2012, 12:48

Mark Kermode Mark Kermode

This is the time of year when traditionally some real seasonal turkeys are released. Here is my list of the ten worst ever Christmas films.

In order to see this content you need to have both Javascript enabled and Flash Installed. Visit BBC Webwise for full instructions. If you're reading via RSS, you'll need to visit the blog to access this content

 

Related Posts

Pick of TV Christmas movies

Comments

Jump to comments pagination
 
  • rate this
    +1

    Comment number 1.

    Technically Vince Vaughn ruined five christmases

  • rate this
    +1

    Comment number 2.

    Mark, You're missing the absolute worst film of all time, Surviving Christmas with Ben Affleck. A film so bad it makes Jingle all the Way a biting Satire

  • rate this
    0

    Comment number 3.

    Mark, I think you should go away and watch Rare Exports. Great alternative Christmas movie, which will hopefully wash away the bad taste left in your mouth, by those other horrendous Christmas films.

  • rate this
    +1

    Comment number 4.

    Somewhere, Garry Marshall is assembling an all-star cast for his next movie, Christmas Eve...

  • rate this
    0

    Comment number 5.

    Aw, I liked The Family Stone. I also like Sex and the City (1, not 2) - perhaps I'm just well-disposed towards Sarah Jessica Parker.

  • rate this
    0

    Comment number 6.

    No mention of not just the worst Christmas movie ever, but a contender for worst movie of all time? I speak, of course, of Santa With Muscles, in which Hulk Hogan plays an evil businessman who gets a hit on the head whilst dressed as Santa Claus (he was hiding from the cops he'd just shot at with a bazooka) and spends the rest of the film convinced not only that he's the real St. Nick but also that he has to save the local orphanage from another evil businessman called Ebner Frost. It's the most absurd, most awful, most ludicrous thing ever committed to celluloid.

  • rate this
    0

    Comment number 7.

    These films make Santa Claus Conquers the Martians look good in comparison.

  • rate this
    0

    Comment number 8.

    This was tough for me to watch Mark, because from number four onwards you happened to pick out four Christmas movies that I have a fondness for having grown up with them, and sometimes the beauty of a Christmas movie is not in their quality but their memory.

    I guess there's much I can't argue with, like for instance I suppose you get away with placing Jingle All The Way at number three considering you kindly also placed it at number ten in your list of alternative Christmas movies last year, in spite of your dislike of the film (and that I appreciate).

    I guess any Ernest movie is not without its laundry list of flaws but number two? Really? Does it really rank that high up? Like any Ernest movie it's not that much to get up in arms about but just another weird and desperate (but innocent) attempt to find an audience, and without the Ernest films, Jim Varney (a performer who was frankly better than all those films, may he rest in peace) would probably have never gotten the attention to be considered for the role of Slinky Dog in Toy Story movies both 1 & 2 (but sadly not 3).

    Santa Claus: The Movie was a film I always enjoyed but I wasn't there for the time when it was originally released (which can make all the difference). To me it was always an old, likable because it's dated, Christmas movie that I only really had a warmth for due to nostalgia, but more importantly I really didn't know that about the animatronic reindeer(s), and it does open my eyes a bit.

    I guess I'm only really upset about The Santa Clause being placed at number four. A week ago I may have considered my fondness for the film as being simply chalked up to my nostalgia being a kid when it was first released, but it was no more than a week ago when I sat down to watch it on Netflix and you know what? I found that while it is a cheesy Tim Allen Christmas movie, it's also know-ably quirky and self aware with a good sense of humour (and couldn't possibly be worse than it's two sequels, let alone Tim Allen's Christmas with the Kranks, can it?). But really I'm upset because I've made that exact same comparison with The Santa Clause and Cronenberg's The Fly as a positive (I even posted this point to argue that it should've been in your alternative list last year but as I remember the website failed to send the comment,and frankly that leaves me with no proof).

    None the less, I really do hope you have a very Merry Christmas, Mark and perhaps a slightly more considerate New Year....

    Also isn't it great that the world didn't end today? Just another reason consider Roland Emmerich to be a hack (bar Stargate).

  • rate this
    0

    Comment number 9.

    Results are in.....Worst Christmas jumper....Winner: Mark kermode. Least effort put into decorating an Xmas tree....Winner: Mark Kermode

  • rate this
    0

    Comment number 10.

    Reply to Comment 2: Barney Cremin
    Even I forgot Surviving Christmas, and its far far worst then Jingle All The Way. I mean The Santa Claus is far worst then Jingle All The Way, just the sight of Tim Allen brings comforting thoughts of euthenasia.

    For once Dr. Kermode has provided a list that I wholeheartedly agree with. Four Christmases is just a dperessing void of a film. Vaughn is a depressing factor but what makes the film even more depressing is the sight of Robert Duvall and Jon Voight. The supporting actors of three of my top ten favourite films (The Godfather, Apocalypse Now and Midnight Cowboy) I know some actors need the paycheque, but its just so sad at how the mighty can fall.

    Also The Family Stone is one of the most boring and cringe worthy Christmas films ever about a family that needs a visit from Michael Myers.

    Looking at this list makes me cheer for home video; not only has home video saved certain films from extinction (yes, I am talking about Blade Runner) Not only has home video made classic films accessible to a wider audience, but it has also saved us mere mortals from having to endure Christmas televsion, and all without commercial breaks. So come Christmas night, I'll be sitting back with my family watching the two Christmas movies that we all love; Its A Wonderful Life and Die Hard.

  • rate this
    0

    Comment number 11.

    @4 - Herbert_West:-

    Somewhere, Garry Marshall is assembling an all-star cast for his next movie, Christmas Eve...

    Somewhere, Rightflyer is choosing whether to have Garry Marshall stuffed and roasted instead of the turkey on Tuesday!!!

    All this may sound unduly negative but I really do have a good laugh at some of the celluloid excresence that Hollywood slings at us. It's always fun (and informative) to see Dr K's top 10 but it's always much more fun to see him foaming at the mouth and spitting bile!! :D

  • rate this
    +1

    Comment number 12.

    To be fair, I would watch "Miracle on 34th Street meets The Fly".

  • rate this
    0

    Comment number 13.

    I am surprised the remake of Black Christmas didn't make the halls. There are much worse films in my opinion, Deck The Halls being one, and only yesterday I caught about 5 minutes of a film staring James Van Der Beek; Mrs. Miracle, which was so cheesy my eyes began to turn into brie.
    I would also like to add, The Town That Christmas Forgot, you know a film is bad when the leading actress played Mary Swanson in Dumb and Dumber

  • rate this
    0

    Comment number 14.

    didn't make the list* I must have typed "halls" as I couldn't get that awful movie out of my mind

  • rate this
    0

    Comment number 15.

    Mark I can't believe you dislike The Santa Clause so much, I think it's a great a family film, and actually quite magical. I'm also surprised you didn't include Christmas With the Kranks. It's 90 minutes of absolute torture.

  • rate this
    0

    Comment number 16.

    And I thought I was a happy soul at Saturnalia. Sorry, Christmas.

  • rate this
    0

    Comment number 17.

    i like the santa clause i'ts one of my mums favourite christmas films and it's on every year in our house the second on third ones are rubbish but i still think the first one is very good

  • rate this
    0

    Comment number 18.

    Its a christmas tradition in our Santa Clause the Movie every year. I must have see it over 30 TIMES and although we all know whats coming it can still magical at times. Also it was'nt untill last christmas that I spotted the A Team van in it.

    Just as i side note i got 9 out of 10 on name that christmas film at our staff christmas party, As the only Tim Alan christmas film i could remembe was the Santa Clause but apprently he did another one.Christmas with the Kranks.

  • rate this
    0

    Comment number 19.

    Got to disagree about The Santa Clause, the sequels were pretty bad , but the first one is good fun

  • rate this
    0

    Comment number 20.

    Mark, you have absolutely lost it this time! I can't believe you dislike How The Grinch Stole Christmas so much. When I first went to see it, I was 9 yrs old and back then, I thought it was brilliant. Now, I still think it's a great a family film, and actually still a bit magical for me. Yes, I've read the book, but I think the film's good as well. What a snobby attitude you have to certain types of movies. New Year's Eve was a Christmas movie, and to have The Grinch worse than that steaming pile of manure?! Give me a break!

 

Page 1 of 4

This entry is now closed for comments

Share this page

More Posts

Previous
My Pick Of Movies On TV This Christmas

Tuesday 18 December 2012, 17:34

Next
The Hobbit and 48 Frames Per Second

Monday 24 December 2012, 12:00

About this Blog

Outspoken, opinionated and never lost for words, Mark is the UK's leading film critic.

This twice-weekly video blog is the place where he airs his personal views on the things that most fire him up about cinema - and invites you to give your own opinions.

Blog Updates

Stay updated with the latest posts from the blog.

Subscribe using:

What are feeds?