BBC Three
« Previous | Main | Next »

Cherry Healey: How to Get a Life

Post categories:

Cherry Healey Cherry Healey | 18:23 UK time, Wednesday, 20 June 2012

Presenter - Cherry Healey

I don’t know about you, but I find modern life pretty confusing. In a world of extremes, how do we find balance? When is it ok to break the rules and when is it not? How do we juggle everything without going cross-eyed?

These are some of the questions I investigate in my new series, How To Get a Life (Wednesdays, 9pm). Sadly I have to tell you that there are no neat answers and, kind of predictably, when we were filming, our questions mostly led to more questions! But what I found from talking to so many people were some really useful pearls of wisdom that have helped me get my head around some of life’s most perplexing issues.

In the series I’ll be meeting people to find out more about:

- modern relationships
- addiction
- how our looks can change our lives
- prejudice
- working & playing hard
- how money affects love.

View the full blog post to access video content. In order to see this content you need to have both Javascript enabled and Flash installed. Visit BBC Webwise for full instructions

It’s probably not good to have a favourite but I definitely have a soft spot for the third episode. In this programme we ask how we can use our looks to change our lives and, in today’s society, have our looks become more important than who we are? I met a group of feisty ladies who set me a challenge that took me waaaayyyy out of my comfort zone! I also met a tattoo artist who completely changed my perception of how looks can be used to take control and, perhaps my favourite moment of filming of all time, I met a male stripper who made me laugh so much I cried.

I met a lot of young men and women along the way who were equally promiscuous, and some not at all, who were making up their rules as they went along. Some that I met had slept with high numbers of partners and told me that they love sex and are single so what’s the problem? How many is too many and who decides anyway? After talking to a lot of young people, I get the feeling that the taboo surrounds women more heavily and that it’s still more acceptable for men to sleep around. We really got into the heart of the debate in a few of my hub chats and I was really impressed with people’s honesty.

When I tweeted ‘How many is too many and is there such a thing as a ‘slut’ anymore’ there was a general sense that for girls an acceptable number is 8 whereas for boys it can be 15-20. It also seems that girls are still afraid to be called ‘sluts’ so often tell people they’ve slept with fewer guys whilst boys up their numbers to impress! It seems that whilst we do live in a relatively liberated society, we are all still very aware of the rules.

Later in the first episode I meet a young couple who are also making up their own rules - they have an open relationship that is full of experimentation. The more I talked to them the more I realised that this wasn’t as simple as it sounds. After going on a bit of an, ahem, adventure with them (not in that way!), they both had a bit of a revelation. I also had a bit of a revelation: PVC is extremely flattering but also extremely clammy. Nice.

The first episode holds lots of other surprises and, of course, I overshare massively - my poor mum. I really hope you enjoy the new series and would love to hear any of your questions via this blog or twitter.

Cherry Healey: How To Get A Life is on Wednesdays at 9pm.


  • Comment number 1.

    What about those of us who have failed to find a partner, don't like the kinds of "going out" portrayed in the show (and / or have jobs which leave us with insufficient energy to do so), and have therefore ended up settling down alone through necessity?

  • Comment number 2.

    Interesting program but based around young about those of us 40+ singles, divorced maybe through no fault of our own and 'too old' to do the club/singles scene full of 20 somethings... So many of us, especially women..where are all the 40+ single men going too??..Out with the 20something's definitely a program to be made about us..I'll host it :-)

  • Comment number 3.

    I agree with #1 #2 at 39 and single I can empathise, there's another series to be had about those in that situation, but perhaps we are too old for BBC3!

  • Comment number 4.

    The concept of the show was great. It does seem a question that everybody is asking themselves. "Would I be happier with or without a partner?" I am 233 engaged and only ever slept with my fiancee. I'm over the moon with the relationship itself but I keep getting the annoying feeling that I "missed out" by not sleeping with other women. At the end of the day if you're happy with what your doing at this moment in your life stick with it. If you're not do something about it...

  • Comment number 5.

    What the programme showed was what is "in". No doubt the people involved are also influenced by the internet porn. Completely irresponsible behaviour. I wonder if anyone has done a serious professional job, like science or engineering. From Thermodynamics the concept of Entropy would definitely apply in this context: look it up if you do not know. Chaos will continue to increase. Cheap TV aimed gaining ratings.

  • Comment number 6.

    This comment was removed because the moderators found it broke the house rules. Explain.

  • Comment number 7.

    I signed up to BBc had to hunt down this blog because your facebook seems to be a ghost to say this. WHAT.THE.HELL.MAN. Sex, Impotence, Laughing Gas, Diet Pills and Legal Highs aren't addicting what so ever. I have taken 40x strength salvia and I'm not addicted. Seriously the main issue that you have completely just walked by is this. Everyone is an addict to something, legal and not legal. The difference is that addicts have weak will power and can't even sustain stability in reality what so ever. You can tell what they are addicted to from drinking on a Wednesday at 1 in the afternoon to snorting MDMA mixed with Ketamine at 8 in the morning after doing it the entire night before whilst playing C.O.D. These people will never blame nor even acknowledge their self affliction and laziness to committing to even the simplest tasks without their so called high or euphoria because it comforts them from the strain of reality and the real world. These people are the worst of addicts that you should be documenting about not people who smoke salvia and need a pill to get a hard on. There are also addicts who acknowledge their addiction and try to create their own stability in their own path that does not do damage or let it affect their loved ones in anyway or bring harm to themselves. These people at least commend for at least saying *You know what i'm going to stop this for a period of time. Sober myself up and find employment regardless of what I have to do. So me and I alone can earn and burn, hit, light, snort, drink, pop and sniff. My money on a hoobie or recreational activity that at the end of the day. In the Morning go to work sober and in control, finish work and sorted out any other major priorities. I can sit down and light this joint and relax.* These people are grouped in with everyone else and brought down due to the reputation of weak willed drug addicts who have done collateral damage to everyone else whilst bringing down themselves with disappointment, shame, recklessness and stupidity. So please next time find the real addicts sitting in playgrounds on benches, or hiding in car parks snorting up and lighting up bongs and ask them if they are an addict because I bet the first thing they will say is. *NO*.

  • Comment number 8.

    Hi, I watched the show tonight and was really interested in the story about Stevie. I have lived with the same problem for a few years now and have tried many different ways to overcome this! The doctor has tried a few different things, some that done nothing and others that made me violently sick.. After trying Viagra it changed a little as this was the only thing that worked! but I still had to get over the fact I had to pop a pill and prolong foreplay until it kicked in. Most of the time it gave me a little headache and my heart felt like it was beating out of my chest, but it worked! I've now been told I can't have this medication as I don't meet the criteria and have to get it on a private prescription which is £35 for 4 tablets. Now I'm stuck in deciding what to do! I can't afford that amount of money on a long term basis as you could possibly use that amount in a week and its not easy meeting people because it has a massive knock on your confidence, you have to explain yourself every time you meet someone and usually get a harsh response! I'm almost sure my problem is a mental issue rather than a medical one as I can do the normal things when I'm on my own but just can't any other time!! Can anyone put me in touch with a hypnotherapist that has dealt with this before. I'm in the southeast so if there is someone close to here that would be great :) thank you. 

  • Comment number 9.

    This comment was removed because the moderators found it broke the house rules. Explain.

  • Comment number 10.

    Alfie! I hope you see this.
    I may have an idea that could help your problem, email me! [Personal details removed by Moderator]

  • Comment number 11.

    Hey Alfie!
    I hope you see this.
    I may have an idea for an alternative solution to your problem!
    Send me a message on this, or drop me an email [Personal details removed by Moderator]

  • Comment number 12.

    Hey guys, I'm not too sure how to contact you from here as your email details have been removed.. If there is any other way to contact you that would be great @Betty @Vy thank you :)

  • Comment number 13.

    I totally get stevies story and have struggled with erectile dysfunction for years and years. I eventually came to my docs in tears and got viagra. My relationship with my GF was at breaking point at that time due to the problem. It puts a lot of pressure on the other half in a relationship and can lead to them feeling insecure. I tried the NHS route. Had the sexual health MOT. Had a chat with a GUI doc with my GF present. But tbh, the purely medical treatment does not deal with real problem. And Cherry you are AMAZING for helping stevie. I am so happy for him and thankful for people like you. Maybe I can break my 9 yrs of solitude and cycle of cannabis dependency and actually start living now I've seen that this thing can be beaten. So good to know you're not the only one, thank you thank you!!!

  • Comment number 14.

    I really enjoy your shows and a topic i would really like to see you oppinion on would be breast enhancing products ie. creams, supplments, surgery or even just push up bra's. I think its a subject alot of girls/women have issues with through out are lives.

  • Comment number 15.

    does anyone know what the exact pills were which were tested by the couple in that segment of this program?? I presume they were from Ann Summers or somewhere, but as they seemed to work for them, it wld be good to know to try them! :-) thanks.

  • Comment number 16.

    Hei Eye-of-the-beholder!
    I saw your comment and know about something that worked for me although I did not actually want bigger breasts. I was prescribed Amitriptylene (I think that is how it is spelled) for nerve pain. I was a large size 32A and after a year or two I was 34 double D.

    The side effect of this drug is breast enhancement and it happens in both men and women. I have seen men with enlarged breast as a result of this drug.

    I took one tablet a day of 10 mg (you can get much stronger than this) and after a year my breasts had changed a lot.

    This could be a solution but I would strongly advice you to not be on this drug for very long. A lot of people on the net consider this drug as "rat poison". it helped my nerve pain so I was happy with it and it was easy to stop taking it as well for me, but we are all different.

    I would personally rather take this drug for breast enhancement than having plastic surgery. My breasts are natural looking and I have not lost a bit after I stopped taking the drug 2 years ago. So it is worth a shot I think.

    I also agree with that this would be a very good topic and the same goes for all the others mentioned on this page. Cherry is pure brilliant and I just love her series! Thumbs Up! If anyone wants to contact me then that is fine by me but think this is up to the moderators. So ask them. Thanks!

  • Comment number 17.

    Cherry is such a lovely person to front a personal programme such as this, able to both invest herself in any even everyday topic as well as make it interesting and fresh and engage anyone she meets in a such a natural, approachable, yet extremely intelligent way. Would be lovely to see more from her.


More from this blog...


These are some of the popular topics this blog covers.

BBC © 2014 The BBC is not responsible for the content of external sites. Read more.

This page is best viewed in an up-to-date web browser with style sheets (CSS) enabled. While you will be able to view the content of this page in your current browser, you will not be able to get the full visual experience. Please consider upgrading your browser software or enabling style sheets (CSS) if you are able to do so.