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THE BOGGINS SITUATION
Post categories: Blog Squadron art, Boggins, video
| 12:45 UK time, Friday, 20 November 2009
Dear Blogmigos ('blog' + 'amigos'. Won't be using that again)
So this whole Boggins situation is getting a bit out of hand. When he turned up in the studio after the Summer holidays we all thought he was adorable, if a little filthy and when Joe named him Boggins it seemed like our happy family had just got bigger and happier. This drawing by Elinor (who is a skilled sketcher of pets www.ElinorSketchesPets.com) actually comes very close to what he looked like back then.
Lovely drawings that really do capture the little fellow's sweetness, but ironically the thing that pen and ink can't convey is the stink (that's a little joke for cockney readers). Strangely the acrid funk of our dog chum seems to come across most strongly on the radio and some people find it hard to take.
We've received some wonderful tributes and supportive messages for Boggins these last few weeks. For example here's a great shout out from the canine community
But now we're beginning to get some more unequivocally anti Boggins material through as well. Check out this song and vid from Tommy Mackay:
In addition we're getting impassioned messages from people who seem alienated by the whole presence of Boggins. They don't indulge in any of the banter about him being sweet or slobbery or confused or even fictional, they just think he's juvenile and desperate. They want him out of the show and say that their enjoyment is being ruined by his occasional presence. I think what these people are experiencing is jealousy. It's like the feeling of anxiety and threat felt by older siblings when a new born baby comes home from the hospital. Except in this case the new baby reeks from eating birds and poo and has turned the carpets into a toxic wasteland from dragging its itchy anal glands across them all day. But it is VERY sweet.
Of course none of this is going to reassure the hardcore anti Boggins lobby. They want the show back the way it was before the Summer: a grown up radio programme with no fictional dog, just intelligent, informed political debate from two highly articulate intellectuals on the day's hot topics. To that lobby I say this: Boggins is reality, fictional or not. Deal with it. If Gordon Brown found a poo in the corner and ate it you'd want us to cover it right? Of course you would and that's why we'll continue to cover the Boggins issue. Meanwhile Boggins will continue to cover the studio in hair and foul smelling silvery trails like some kind of giant hairy slug from the bowels of hell. A very sweet hell.
Love you byeeeee! Adam
© MMX~RS~q~RS~~RS~z~RS~57~RS~)
Comments
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I love Boggins. My wife hates Boggins. She gets cross when I impersonate him. (Even when I say "I love you" - which is worrying). On the other hand we both agree - Boggins clearly has medical problems that requires someone to take him to the vet - he probably needs worming and some other treatment - any vet listeners who can help? I urge you, Adam, to take responsibility for this - it won't stop him from eating poo and birds and licking your face, but it may halt the itchy anal glands and the offensive carpet trails...
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I ruddy love Boggins =D Keep him safe and sound with you and Joe at the Castle!!! ^_^
Also, when will the brilliant Noggins the horse return??
byebyeloveyoubyeeeee
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adam and joe seemed pretty quick to nip the rise of "Stephenage" when it was deemed to be getting too gimmicky, why do they continue with this desperately childish Boggins character. I know it's a family show, but it's also a listener participation show, and there seems to be no democratic action being taken on whether or not to keep Boggins.
i love you AJ and my heart sinks when i hear that sloppery fluff ball enter the studio.
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I think Boggins should be allowed to enjoy his later smelly years. He probably worked hard all his life pulling a dog-drawn cart to deliver milk http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dogcart_%28dog-drawn%29 and deserves to relax and rub his weeping glands all around the carpeted floors. p.s. has Boggins ever rubbed his lipstick on Joe's leg? bye!
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I'm worn out from worrying about this debate. I neither love nor hate Boggins, the sweet, smelly dog but I was excited by this part of Adam's post...
"They want the show back the way it was before the Summer: a grown up radio programme with no fictional dog, just intelligent, informed political debate from two highly articulate intellectuals on the day's hot topics."
I don't think I've ever managed to catch that show. Does anyone have any links?
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*takes shotgun*
I can't take it anymore...
*loads shotgun*
... right that's it I'm going to sort this situation out right now!
*shoots self*
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Thats my picture of Boggins! wow brimming with excitement. I echo 'NurseTotties' keep Boggins in the castle, put a framed picture of him in the lobby! (if there is a lobby, and I imagine all the BBC celebrities have their own picture.)
OOhhh yes and bring back some more of Noggins too! I feel a Noggins picture coming on...
And to those people who referred to Boggins as a 'fictional dog'???? fictional??? well thats just disappointing. In the Peter Pan style everytime you say you don't believe in Boggins another talking dog vanishes from existance, so you have to say 'I do believe in Boggins, I do, I do" to resurrect them!
love you byyyyyeeeeeee
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I love Boggins, but I think there's a way we can have the best of both worlds. Let's simply put him down every week! Each time, a more elaborate and entertaining end to our dear old Boggins.
Death by ice cube? Check. USB stick cosh of doom? Naturally. Space dust & coke? Well, obviously!
There can be a jingle for the segment and everything. And as well all know, if it justifies the creation of a new jingle, it can't possible be a bad idea!
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How about two versions of the podcast? Bogginsed-up and Boggins-free! Please? Or, I know, you can put Boggins after that really irritating bit at the end where the lady tries to make you download the John Richardson podcast (you ask me every week, and thank you, but NO.)
In seriousness: Boggins is unfunny and putting me off the show, and that makes me feel sad.
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I think death is a little extreme for this smelly poo hair fluff monster, how about an elephant sized tranquilliser during the show?
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i used to want boggins to die... but he's winning me round! but if he IS put down, i recommend suplexing to death
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Gah! It lives on? Can't you give him to a listener for Christmas or something?
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Boggins is so cute. He still needs to die. That's just what Jesus told me.
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Kill Boggins.
On another note, check out my Chill Cake montage:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uZ4eWgdBevA
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Long live Boggings! He should be given his own 15 minutes part of the show!
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This isn't a family program so it doesn't need a family pet. There is a fine line between cool and cutesy - yes there really is. This dog is on the wrong side of the line.
Find some way to lose this animal, the kindest way would be some form of ethereal evaporation. Maybe as a participant on I'm a Celebrity Cook Me.
It's Ok to make mistakes, just deal with it and move on.
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I love the way in which Boggins just pops up at random intervals in the show. I noticed he will sometimes talk over Joe, but he always waits for Adam to finish whatever he is saying. What a good boy.
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For what it is worth, I signed up just now for a BBC account solely to register my feelings of repulsion and dismay every time I hear Adam and Joe talk about stupid Boggins. I like the idea of putting the segment at the end of the show so we can just turn it off, if that is the only compromise. Honestly though, like the antics of a little brother who has discovered a way of irritating his older sibling, this Boggins schtick wore thin a long time ago.
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Thing is, I'm bored of talking about what to do with Boggins. We need more juvenillia, then we might get another STEPHEN!
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I'm pleased that boggins is staying, what's not to like about a fictional dog what eats dead birds and rolls around in poo. My girlfriend doesn't like him, that's fine though I will continue with my impression .
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JUST COMING!
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@whinger_assassin, nice. Stephen lives on.
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What is going on here?! Squadrons Black, Slack and all the other - leave the Boggins-related decisions to your squadron leaders and be thankful you're allowed to listen at all.
Has Boggins inadvertantly become the new Jedward? Will be release a Christmas albume? Will he ever actually meet Count Buckules?
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If each squadron could only have one leader I wonder who it would be from the show. Perhaps Adam as the Black Squadron leader, Joe (being the more relaxed of the two) as the Slack squadron leader, does that mean that the leader of Pod Squadron should be Boggins?
*Bark* Strand Bry for Prrrrod Squadron Crommand "Poo in Mouth"
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Put Boggins down, please. I love your show, but, like many other listeners, I really do find Boggins nauseating. So far, I haven't been eating whilst listening to the podcast, but f I was, I'm sure I would'nt be able to keep my food down- I'm not joking. As I'm a podcast listener, you could say I could fast forward through the Boggins appearences, but even though I try, that never quite works, I'll always catch a bit of him whilst skipping forwards and backwards on my ipod becasue I'm trying to avoid Boggins but at the same time not miss out on any of the content immediately after Boggins. What about the people who listen live? What about you're beloved Black Squadron? If they turn the volume down they might miss something else too!
Pleasepleasepleasepleaseplease do away wih boggins- eve nthinking about that slobbery voice of his makes my stomach churn!
okay i love you bye!
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Boggins doesn't need to be put down, Adam should simply stop doing it...and Joe should stop colluding with the 'joke'.
When it first started I thought, ok..pretty weak, but they'll realise this and be too embarrassed to continue
(self-editing and an appreciation of what's working or not is usually an A&J strongpoint). But no, on they went.
But now it's out of hand and is spoiling an otherwise superb piece of radio.
Honestly, as a long time fan...just stop. OK?
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I love Boggins! He should be a regular member of the show. And he needs his theme song^-^
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I think Boggins may be scared of Count Buckules because he never comes into the studio unless Adam is away. It's been sad not to have that loveable scamp running riot in the studio over the past few weeks. Did someone buy him a lead? Anyway, has anyone else noticed that the pro-Boggins Squadron are a creative, kind-hearted picture-drawing, song-writing bunch. Whereas the anti-Boggins mob seem just a little bit uptight and mean? That's all, love you byeeee xxx
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Boggins is a brief ray of sunshine in my otherwise dismal life. I don't know what I'd do without him?
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Poor Boggypoos. You can't put the children of you imagination to sleep. They're more real than the unimagined ones.
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Don't you think those of you disliking Boggins have missed the point?
You like radio that you can 'feel' right? Well then, kudos to Adam for conjouring up and so skillfully acting the Boggins character.
Sure, he could back off a little on the slurping, but I don't see the need for anyone to actively object to the character.
What do you do if you hear a song you don't like? You defocus for around 4 minutes until it's over. Much the same can be done with Boggins or any other element of a programme.
Stop being so 'precious' about it all!
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I absolutely love the show, but Boggins just isn't funny. Please, please don't do it.
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I had two podcasts joined together this week. I started listening to the Dr Snippington one for the intro (as I heard the live show), then ffwded to the end for the outro, and it was the last 10 minutes of another podcast!! Isn't technology wonderful. I think its just me , I probably sat on the USB cable while it was downloading and interrupted it. Thanks to the new podcast archive I can try again! Anyway - Boggins? Life is too short to worry any longer, just enjoy yourselves with or without dog, I do not mind!
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I hate Boggins. Maybe he could given the opportunity to go and live on a farm (far, far away from the Big British Castle so he can no longer visit). There would be lots of poo for him to eat and I'm sure he would be very happy.
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I've never owned, or wanted to own, a dog. But at this point I'm seriously considering getting one, just to call him "Boggins"...
I can't be alone in this... I wonder if there will be a campaign this christmas... "A Dog is for Life, not just for calling Boggins"...
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Perhaps it's like The Producers and they're trying to get cancelled by making the show as bad as possible? Except instead of accidentally making the show good, they've just successfully made it really crap?
KILL THE DOG!
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Hmmm. For an imaginary dog, some people are taking this a bit too seriously. I suggest a little chill-cake. Maybe buy a lotterrrrry ticket. Roll in some poo. Live a little.
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Boggins just needs a trusty and loveable sidekick!
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I think there is only one way to resolve this, and it would kill two birds with one stone.
The Thin White Duke, Ziggy Stardust, Wozza Wozza, David Bowie himself should call in and decide. Like an ancient roman emperor, he should say one word "Live" or "Die". And Boggins fate will be decided once and for all. Adam and Joe could not refuse the will of Bowie.
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I'd like Adam and Joe to know that I am not joking when I say how much I want the Boggins character to go, I feel the character is only being left in because some North London parents and their children find it "hilarious".
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Why does "the Boggins situation" have to be a matter of life or death?
There are hundreds of radio programmes on the BBC alone that have no jokes at all in them - why not let them adopt Boggins and improve their output?
Just because he is the smelliest, most irritating and least amusing thing on the A&J show doesn't mean that he wouldn't be appreciated in another room of the castle. One show's abomination could be another show's blessing!
My vote would be in the "Thought for the Day" slot on the Today Programme where his inane slobberings would be very welcome.
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Can't A&J exploit that contact in the production team of "The Archers" and arrange an internal transfer? Boggins could accidentally get threshed or shot by poachers. I think that would leave honour satisfied on all sides. The mutt buys it while doing what he loves best, rolling around in a pile of muck in a field.
On second thoughts, BBC bureaucracy would probably get in the way. There'll be some policy or other.
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I've also created an account just to beg for an end to Adam doing the Boggins voice. I don't want to hear about him being killed or anything like that - I'd personally prefer it if he was never referred to on-air again (Boggins, not Adam). There is nothing 'sweet' or, more importantly, funny about it. I also find the slurping noises and the talk about eating poo completely nauseating. Even without those things the Boggins sections actually make me cringe, they are so far below the normal comedy genius (seriously!) I've come to expect and look forward to from Adam and Joe.
If the Boggins lovers are really in the majority (hard to believe), and he HAS to stay, how about putting chapter markers in the podcast so that the Boggins section can be skipped easily? If that's too much work, please, please put the Boggins sections at the end so we can stop listening.
Everything else is brilliant and fantastic, and I'm a big fan. Thank you for all the laughs - hope you continue for a long long time!
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It's not a family show, I had to switch it off last week when Adam was talking about his dream as my daughter was in the car, so it doesn't need an annoying childish dog slobbering all over the place, get rid of him, if he can't be killed just re-home him!
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Just so you know, even though Boggins makes me want to wash everything - including the inside of my head - with Cillit Bang, you wont be shedding me as a listener over this issue.
I know some people find the show's integrity compromised by the slobbering caricature, but hasn't there always been a childish side to the pairing? (Farty noises, anyone?) And isn't it this particular brand of silly, playful humour laced with public-school naughtiness which makes us love them so?
It would seem that it is impossible to make all the people laugh all the time. Isn't it better to make all the people laugh most of the time and allow others the opportunity of removing headphones or adjusting the volume?
The A&J show is the best, cleverest, wittiest and funniest thing in radioland and I am not about to abandon it because of the stink of one smelly old mutt who clearly needs veterinary attention.
Rant over. Take care. Loveyoubye.
Kate x
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I can't believe how many so called fans of Adam and Joe seem to have no sense of humour at all. Boggins is light hearted fun and adds a great deal to an already ingenious show. Well done Adam for making a stand this week and telling those 'traumatised' by Boggins to GET OVER IT!!!
Now lets hope James does the right thing and saves Boggins. I say lets give Boggins a bigger part in the show and start the weekend with a laugh not a moan.
If the Moanies win and Boggins is abandoned by the main show he can live
on in the podcast and they can then choose if they want to listen or not.
However I would implore you Adam and Joe to do the right thing and don't be ruled by the minority.
Boggins MUST live on and prosper
loveyoubye
Richard (age 43)X()X
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Just no more slobber. Thats all.
Everyone stay calm, lets not panic just becuase Adam has catergorically dug his heels in!
I get the feeling its just because we're all badgering him.
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ITS NOT ABOUT THE HUMOUR!!
For gods sake. The slober sounds awful on the radio. Its the same reason people don't eat on the radio or don't mumble.
I don't care what the imaginary dog theorically smells like or hypothetically eats, I just don't want my ears to melt.
Adam come on! This is a nonsense. Keep the dog, just take a step back from the mike.
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This comment was removed because the moderators found it broke the House Rules.
No . . Honestly, My last post wasn't that bad !!!
Was It ????
Hey, now you've got me all introspective and pensive, not knowing what or how to say or do. . . .
Second guessing what it is i meant, in an ontological quandry !!!
Boggins, Hmmm....
Disgruntled listeners and bloggers, Hmmmm.......
Blog moderators, Hmmm.....
Time for some early morning decisiveness.
Boggins,, , , , , , , , Love It, nice interlude.
Disgruntled listeners and bloggers, , , , , ,, Accept Genius.
Blog moderators , , , ,, Hmmm . . (still working on that one !)
"Just Breathtaking" !
Loveyou Byeeeeee
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Boggins has put me on his list of enemies on twitter! I guess he was real all along! Who knew!
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Just heard Boggins being interviewed on 6music, he calls himself rick wakeman during the week.
Moonlighter
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I introduced an A+J virgin to a show the other weekend and nearly died of embarrassment when 'Boggins' came on. Even if you manage to look past the nausea inducing slobbering and panting noises, it's still just the same old joke every week. So no, don't kill Boggins, because he isn't real. Adam, please stop pretending to be a dog, it's really tedious.
Other than that I absolutely love the show. It's just that this whole Boggins idea is a stinker.
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Why don't you just give him to a new owner?! I mean putting the poor fella down is a bit harsh. I'm indifferent to Boggins although the drawing has swayed me slightly.
I say give him to a nice trusting new owner.
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Boggins is sick-making in the headphones guys, it's reminiscent of that primary school trip where the burly girl jumped on me and slobbered over me much to everyone's amusement; other than mine of course... have a listen back in your headphones, it's disgusting...
Other Boggins-phobes, I propose we VOTE JOE in all future songwars/any other disputes till Adam gets the message, the bearded little slavering twonk that he is.
Love you, bye!
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he needs to go, his slavering makes me sick. do the right thing, nuff said.
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I quite like Boggins, I have even been known to imitate him, but what I don't like is all this whimsical discussion about whether to kill him or not.
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Dear Adam and Joe,
Boggins should stay alive! I will be very angry if you murder him!
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Joe should just stop playing along and tell Adam that this whole dog thing is simply not funny. It was a bad joke to begin with and it gets more and more tedious everytime he does that ridiculous voice. You're Ad & Joe, not Dick & Dom. You guys are quality comedians, a dog impression is beneath you.
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For those who'd like to see an end to Boggins, I suggest you watch this and then make up your mind
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JaEGlYFhnRc
[sniff]
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Meet Moggins, Boggins' arch-enemy
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/also_in_the_news/7919495.stm
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Hi Adam and Joe
please please please keep boggins and DEFENTLY dont kill him.
if you dont want him, ill have im sure hell love my 11 mounth jack russel puppy.
I LOVE BOGGINS!!!!!!
xxxoooxxxooxooxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxooxoxoxoxxxxxxxxxxxxoooooooooooooooo
Harvey
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It only clicked today, listening to the podcast, that you guys really don't understand why so many people are enraged at Boggins. To my mind, it's simply this;
Listening to the podcast is basically like sitting down with 2 highly amiable chaps and being entertained by their varied whimsical natterings. It's lovely.
"Boggins entering the studio" is (more or less exactly) one of those 2 charming and loveable chaps deciding that for five minutes he's going to repeatedly shout "I DONE A POO!" and slurp and slobber down your earhole, while the other adopts a slightly patronising schoolmaam-ish tone and encourages us all to pretend he's actually a dog. Less than lovely.
Seriously now. You guys must be able to appreciate why so many of your listeners are highly put off by the Boggy segments. And yet when you were discussing it on the most recent podcast, you seemed to take it entirely personally that some of the people who really, really love listening to the pair of you do... well, just about anything else, really, really don't like anything at all about the Boggy segments, and beyond that, actually find them seriously hard to stomach.
Guys, love the show, and you don't need to pretend to kill him - just pretend to send him somewhere he can't possibly pretend to come back from. Please.
Keep up the good work (i.e. everything else)
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I cant believe anyone would complain about the bundle of joy that is Boggins. I will fight anyone that trys to put him down.
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Kill Boggins.
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amen, kill it.
I'm sick of this whole stupid situation.
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Boggins is a watershed. Those who hate him have revealed their insensitivity and stupidity. They have lost the right to listen to A&J. Turn in your black squadron insignia and report to Ross and Moyles for new duties.
Kill all Boggins-haters.
Love you. Byeee.
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Mr/Ms Rortabend puts it better that I ever could have.
If you don't like Boggins, move on. Don't ruin our fun just because you don't get it.
Twits
See you......
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On the topic of Boggins may I suggest setting up the famous schrodinger's cat (in this case mutt) paradox experiment, then he could be described as both dead and alive (in a metaphysical sense). Bee Po xxxooox
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of boggins has achieved anything it is to increase blog traffic 300%
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Hoorah! Just listened to the end of the podcast and heard my wee slobbery pal again, cheeky wee sod breaking in the studio :)
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Is Taxidermy a halfway solution ???????
Killing Boggins but preserving him forever.
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I would like to hear from "Hoggins" (he would be a very clean but also very angry hog). OINK
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I like the idea of preserving Boggins, but the problem is the smell might start to fade after a while. Perhaps some research should be done so that even though he would be DEAD (sorry, must not get tooo excited), the smell & anal glands mess can continue.
I also like the idea of Boggins being killed each week. This is only because I think he would be happy to be freed from the burden of his sad, unhealthy existence repeatedly....... and we would get to hear his screams just before death............ so everyone will be happy! Yippee.
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I've been listening to and loving the podcast for some time and now feel drawn to enter the Boggins arena. At first he didn't bother me though I did find him irritating, I'd just grit me teeth and bear it till he was off to wherever he goes. However, as the Boggin's fate debate has grown week after week the "Will They, Won't They?" aspect of it is driving me nuts! It's a tired old literary mechanism strung out and wrung to death by the writers of crappy soap operas, and seems lazy, way below your usual excellent audio fare. Please keep him, or get rid of him, whatever, but please do something soon! (....preferably get rid of him. You've exhausted all possible material from an imaginary smelly dog that eats poo. Repeating it endlessly is not helping.) You're indecisiveness is letting us listeners down, letting the castle down and letting yourself down. Act now!
Love your work, (most of it!)
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I've been listening to this Boggins debate for too long already. So I would like to suggest that Boggins not be put down but instead given to a deserving child at Christmas, preferably a child living in a home equipped with wooden floors and patient parents. Its a win-win situation. Boggins doesn't die a horrible death and we can put a stop to this inane debate! Perhaps he could even come and visit the show once a year if he's been a good Boggins.
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Save Boggins, put down Biggins
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One amusing part of the whole Boggins story is the way "Joe" feels it is almost as if "Boggins" is trying to say something, but can't understand (accept?) that he actually is.
Maybe (in the hands of a skilful screenwriter... any ideas?) this could be the basis for moving the narrative onwards as, gradually, and to his amazement, "Joe" begins to hear messages in what "Boggins" says... increasingly poignant messages of impending doom. But can these two divided, lonely souls reach out to each other in time...? Think "Rainman" meets "Numbers". Think "Close Encounters" meets "Clifford the Big Red Dog". Think... of something else, quick.
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