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James Stirling (6 Music) James Stirling (6 Music) | 17:41 UK time, Sunday, 30 August 2009

Blog squadron, we need your help. Song Wars is long overdue an outing, so with that in mind, perhaps you could suggest a theme for Adam and Joe to tackle? We're after ideas for a theme or lyrics, or a musical style - the more instructions the better really. Themes to avoid - asking them to write songs about each other and anything that uses the music or lyrics from a real song. Thanks for your help and watch this space to see if we take on any of your ideas.


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  • Comment number 1.

    You could do a "Geek/Nerd" themed one?
    On such things as Star Trek, or Nerd Conventions, and all the odd things you may see there?
    Even if some of these things are not strictly Geeky or Nerdy.

  • Comment number 2.

    Please ad and joe, I need some bath-time songs for when in the bath, perhaps reggae like under the sea in little mermaid? make them bubbly, splooshy and all watery please....

    Thanks, Rufus

  • Comment number 3.

    How about their own theme to Who Do You Think You Are? or to Doctor Who

  • Comment number 4.

    A song trying to sell the holidays they have just been on? I.e. as if they were package deals?

  • Comment number 5.

    It's coming up to September, so how about a Song Wars for going back to school or starting college for the first time?

  • Comment number 6.

    Oh my they've done so many it's hard to find a new theme!

    Perhaps a song about the horrible social networking world we live in? Extra points for internet bing bong sounds being used.

    Terrible suggestion, just terrible... sorry.

  • Comment number 7.

    How about the relative merits of private insurance versus socialized national healthcare systems? Or ducks.

  • Comment number 8.

    I think you should each do a nursery rhyme in the style of David Bowie.

  • Comment number 9.

    Here's a couple of no doubt utterly useless ideas, my girlfriend is randomly shouting them at me and I'm typing them out.

    Alien Abduction
    Bumble Bees
    A new National Anthem (think we've stolen that from Bill Bailey, in fact we clearly have done)

    my favourite is...

    Christmas Carols! There haven't been any new carols for AGES. I think you'll agree that December would be the most appropriate time for these.

  • Comment number 10.

    Shamed as I am to suggest this as it's the most crass, gutter-lying suggestion ever, but how about Jordan and Peter Andre's sad demise as the UK's premier, celebrity marriage export? My Swedish colleague told me she saw their marriage split announced in a Swedish newspaper. Now that's d-list transcending cultures if I ever saw it...! I'm ashamed to suggest this, I really am.

    Alternatively, perhaps in riposte to slander from the US, Buckles and Sexy could sing in the defence of the NHS - an ode the the fact that an in-growing toe nail led to a near death experience, saved only by Dr. Sexy's nurse stepping in at the last moment, for example!

  • Comment number 11.

    definately in the style of David Bowie!!!! How about Bowie in everyday situations like going to the shops having a drink and so on!!!!

  • Comment number 12.

    I'd love for Adam & Joe to put some lyrics to the theme of Jonathan Creek. I think the mystery sleuthing magicians magician could do with some inspirational lyrics to his macabre intro.

  • Comment number 13.

    Favourite cakes?

    how about songs theme'd around

    -Hostage negotiation
    -Lame/Poor Superheroes
    (the type would be up to adam and joe)
    - Anthemns
    ( an anthemn of a company/ country/ terrorist organization)

  • Comment number 14.

    Elton John style funeral tribute songs to fictional characters.

  • Comment number 15.

    Hello there Adam and Joe, superglad to have you back and listen to your fantabbowonderful ramblings and such.

    As a fairly new listener, I must apologise if my suggestion is one that's already been done. Here it is.

    Hold music.

    When you're put on hold during an important call to the bank, or for IT solutions or what have you, the hold music never fails to be lacklustre and uninspired. From my own experience, I've heard music not unlike Joe's massage music from the last podcast, instrumental versions of classic rock, light jazz, famous classical pieces... all of it simply terrible and not much fun to listen to. It usually induces frustration, confusion and depression, feelings you don't want when talking to a foreign gentleman about your technical problems and things.

    So, this idea I enthrust unto your blog; Adam and Joe do hold music. Think of the possibilities! Almost as many as recycling, one would be right in saying.

    Thanks guys,

    Steve Tailby

    Enthrust isn't a word, by the way. But perhaps you could slip it into a song wars song?

  • Comment number 16.

    Theme:End of Big Brother ,Style :Bad X Factor audition,Rules:No David Bowie voice. or - Theme:X Factor audition ,Style:David Bowie.
    Btw I have had Adams Festival Song in my head on a continuous loop for TWO DAYS.So please nothing too catchy - Thanks.

  • Comment number 17.

    Hey guys, Love the show. Although not always a member of Black Squadron (Casual Squadron if you will). I do listen to the podcast every week without fail.

    My suggestions for Song Wars are : A song about James Cameron's Highly Anticipated sci-fi action epic AVATAR.


    A tribute song to the King of Pop Michael Jackson.

    I thought of another idea but i forgot it as soon as i started writing this.



  • Comment number 18.

    "Rufus_Blacklock wrote:

    Please ad and joe, I need some bath-time songs for when in the bath, perhaps reggae like under the sea in little mermaid? make them bubbly, splooshy and all watery please....

    Thanks, Rufus"

    Good idea, +1

  • Comment number 19.

    How about songs about day time TV? Or the soundtrack to a fake film...or...er...a song about cakes.

  • Comment number 20.

    This comment was removed because the moderators found it broke the house rules. Explain.

  • Comment number 21.

    oh and regarding the previous comment. if you do read it out can you please pop it on the podcast so i can proudly show my family and friends who get annoyed becuase i don't stop talking about you and quoting things from the show


  • Comment number 22.

    I've recently been exposed to endless runs of children's tv. Pretty much each one kicks off with a high tempo theme song that's a very thinly veiled stream of exposition about whatever the set up of the tv show is. Some of the shows are quite contrived, while others are, naturally, childishly simplistic. Either way, the them song follows the same pattern, resulting in some truly appalling lyrics trying to shoe horn in the background and motivations of each and every character. Good examples of the genre are things like dora the explorer, and pretty much anything that comes out of Japan.

    Can the boys apply this style of song-smithing to some classic tales: perhaps great works of literature? or, selected paragraphs from wikipidea about geography or biology topics from school (alluvial plains, the digestive system, etc)?

  • Comment number 23.

    A song about your favourite animal in the zoo in the style of a 70s prog rock band. This could then be developed into a concept album, obviously, along the lines of 'Pictures at an Exhibition", except, er, monkeys. And it would obviously be a short album with only two tracks. BUT THAT'S THE CONCEPT, MAAAAAN.

  • Comment number 24.

    Superheros and/or Supervillians... someone already posted "Lame/Poor Superheroes" that good too.

  • Comment number 25.

    I have no idea what the challenge should be but I do have a superb offer for the lads which could affect the quality of the songs:

    Some of you, including A + J, might have heard of the video game Rock Band. Well, with a new initiative any musician can have their songs put in the game! Check out creators.rockband.com for details!

    I'd love to be able to play 'Saltum of Quolace' or 'Nutty Room' on Rock Band!

    If the guys chose to do this, they could do a Song Wars where the task was to create the most technically challenging song for someone to play in a game like Rock Band!

  • Comment number 26.

    I'm love the ideas for Superhero themes - surely that will eventually become songwars-ed!

    How about songs for those days where you have nothing to do and the whole day is spent trying to find new creative ways to waste time? Everyone has had days like that! I vividly remember trying to teach myself to juggle knives (I can't juggle normally) coz of a boredom enduced coma, so I'm sure Count Buckules and Dr. Sexy'll have lots to say on such a matter.

  • Comment number 27.

    Lovely to have you back, it's been a bleak winter for Globe Digiforce (Southern Hemisphere Division). Please thank Danny for me though, he's been most distracting.

    For content, how about picking something from the front page of say the Daily Telegraph and The Sun (one newspaper each, agreed in adavance (must have some rules)) - Friday 4th September edition. I know you did the index page from the gossip rag recently (or was that ages ago and recently re-aired on 'Classic'), but plagiarism is the sincerest form of flattery and besides, if it were all about originality, you'd be doing something other than song wars.

    And please please please can at least one of your songs be in black and white? I have a very old radio and it always feels like I'm missing something.

    I also like the idea of monkeys. I like real monkeys too, but the idea of monkeys is superior.

  • Comment number 28.

    Actually, please ignore that, you're paid comedians. I'm not giving you material for nothing. This whole thing's a scam.

  • Comment number 29.

    Might I suggest as a genre for song-wars?

    How about the indefinably creepy theme tunes that announced the start of those schools television programs you got in the 1980s? As examples, I'm thinking of things like Words and Pictures, Merrygoround, Middle English, Dark Towers and those ones about maths. Just thinking about them now gives me the creeps. You were somehow glad when you could just go back to doing fractions and long division instead of being made to watch it like Malcolm McDowell in 'A Clockwork Orange'

  • Comment number 30.

    I'd like to hear some over-the-top, melodramatic, tributes to Michael Jackson (think 'Candle in the Wind' for Princess Diana by Elton John).

    Alternatively, how about some Eurovision song contest style songs - either in the language, or style, of your chosen foreign country; but with a requisite that the 'main line' / chorus be in over-excited English, as is usually employed in Europop / J-pop tracks.

    Finally, how about a modern day peace / charity anthem ('Feed the World' style), featuring choral parts made up of a number of different current singers, impersonated by yourselves. Perhaps themed not on peace, but rather something like saving Gordon Brown (as in the phrase 'save the whales').

    Superb show team. Looking forward to Boggins in two weeks time!
    [Unsuitable/Broken URL removed by Moderator]

  • Comment number 31.

    I'd really like to hear Adam and Joe step up to the plate and produce a hip hop track. The style could be anything from old school De La Soul / Pharcyde to something more modern like Timbaland or T.I.

    I want to know which one of you has the better flow!

    As for a subject, hmmm, maybe:
    - Life experiences as a member of the middle class - taking the kids to school, shopping at waitrose, etc
    - A rap about a celbrity - say, Paul Daniels, or Terry Wogan

  • Comment number 32.

    How about the fact that Christmas seems to start in September in stores? We get constantly bombarded by all kinds of Christmas rubbish and the summer hasn't even ended.

    Either that or you could do songs about personal habits you enjoy but should not be performed in public. Picking your nose on the bus or laying a stink bomb in a lift, throwing tomatoes at pigeons, that sort of thing.

  • Comment number 33.

    I really need a ringtone from you - at the moment I'm using the Um and Er song (thanks SO MUCH for putting that online) but it's not, well, strident enough. Could you do something 20-30 seconds long that's quite loud and makes me think there's an important call coming in?

    Thank you so much. I'm really looking forward to your return to our podwaves.

  • Comment number 34.

    Hi Jaddam and Oooh!
    I think that you should do a song in a 70's funk style. Like the 70's american TV show themes, The A-Team, Shaft etc. I'm not sure what you should do the song about. I like zombies. Perhaps you should to the song about how to survive a zombie apocalypse? Yeah, do that!

  • Comment number 35.

    Dear Adam and Joe,
    I'd like to suggest a song wars theme of: Olympics training
    You could include details of your chosen sport, details of your gruelling regime, outfits worn for training sessions (here's hoping it's lycra) and any injuries sustained along the way. The music style could involve a pumping base and fast rhythm. Let's face it, our top athletes are already hard at work for 2012.

    SO happy to have you back!
    Love you both,
    Samantha. xx

  • Comment number 36.

    I'm with the bathtime songs. Best idea by far.

  • Comment number 37.

    Video Game songs. Take us back to the 80s with some 8-bit tunes, a far cry from the usual guitar. AMybe you could sing in a robot voice. Just talk about Pong and the NES and try rhyme 'Sprite' with something. Anyway, the electro-bleeps would be a nice change

  • Comment number 38.


    Here's a suggestion from a small village in the Netherlands, do a Song Wars about my country. A Netherlands Song wars.

  • Comment number 39.

    Hey A&J! Great to have you guys back from your jollies...I can ease off my obsessive compulsive consumption of your entire back catalogue now (although, seeing Joe as Ken Korda's sister in Take Over TV series 2 was well worth it!)

    My Song Wars suggestions:
    - Architectural theme (has great words like mezzanine & balustrade for lyrics) in the musical style of 80s/90s era Pet Shop Boys (wasn't one an architect?)
    - Mathematics theme to the style of 60s/70s funk - like the incredible Pointer Sisters' Sesame Street Pinball song (co-written one myself called Fermat's Last Funk!)
    - Future theme in the style of 80s Old School Hip-Hop (either the sci-fi envisaged then, or the flying car-less anti-climax that's really 'now').
    - Criminals / Cops theme in the style of Paul Williams (IE: Bugsy Malone soundtrack - gotta' love one of the greatest musicals!)
    - Creative Commons / Copyleft theme & style - as in, songs about the Open Source / copy-right free movement... with backing music (and maybe some lyrics?) from samples/loops/material released under license for re-use.
    - Hair themed songs; in a crooning, kitsch, lounge singer 'Mike Flowers' style (or possibly like a William Shatner cover!?)

    Had another idea, but it took so long to get the above out that I've forgotten it... (Thinking of William Shatner singing tends to erase the contents of my mind!)

  • Comment number 40.

    Dear A and J

    2 ideas:

    a) I was looking forward when you brought it up to a hilarous Points of View satire after you brought it up just before the summer. So a song wars on that would be great seeing as it is ripe for mocking.

    b) Try to get a song to the tune on the Cantina band from Star Wars.

    Both give youi a challenge which I hope you would rise to.

  • Comment number 41.

    How about flamenco style songs about booze and the joys of particular beverages (frothing ales, mad ciders, foxy wines, heady spirits etc) and include a middle 8 that dramatically highlights that Beelzebub is the barman....

  • Comment number 42.

    I was thinking prehaps a Song Wars about either Doctor Who or Harry Potter.
    Dr Who Rules: No using the real theme,
    You must mention at least 1 episode names
    and at least 1 companion.

    HP Rules: No using real theme,
    mention at least 1 teacher
    and at least 1 magical place (Not including Hogwarts)

    Just an idea, hope people like it see you around the blog.

  • Comment number 43.

    Dunnsnun is spot on (#16) ... X-Factor or Big Brother are perfect candidates.

    I'd say X-Factor particularly needs to be taken down a peg or two (well ... at least 10), Big Brother seems to be dying on it's backside without assistance anyhows (thankfully).

    Failing that ... what about the Icelandic song wars that was discussed before but never happened (or was that veto'ed by Mrs Buxton due to the "Sif" connection ? lol)

  • Comment number 44.

    Whatever happened to the first-dance wedding song that was oft discussed? You could go ahead and do a wedding song, a processional even, for general use, instead of that specific couple (who, I guess, are already married by now?).

  • Comment number 45.

    Seconding songs about the Zombie Apocalypse.


    - Midnight snacks;
    - Old Gypsy Woman curses you'd like to invent for those who annoy you;
    - Mammals that taste good in sandwiches;
    - Celebrity autobiographies "written" by people too young to have done anything yet;
    - Ballads about life after the technological singularity;
    - Eggs, and their many uses;
    - "Life-casting", i.e. people broadcasting their internal monologue via. social networking;
    - Coming into possession of an irritating superpower;
    - Avon ladies;
    - Rock opera songs written from the point of view of characters in the 1976 motion picture Carrie ("Plug It Up" would be a big dance number - think finger-clicking a-la West Side Story's Jet Song - but "Dirty Pillows", "Because You Liked My Poem", and of course "Pig's Blood [Carrie's Song]" could be good too); and
    - Songs sung in the style of that dog that can say "sausages".


  • Comment number 46.

    Other users have made some excellent suggestions, so now mine just sounds feeble. However, I have been wanting all year to request a Song Wars theme celebrating the 50th anniversary of Motown. I always enjoy Adam's creativity in his Song Wars approaches, but I sense this time that Joe may have an advantage in bringing an actual Motown feel to his song.

    Although this may take too much effort, I've also been hoping that Adam and Joe could spend an entire program shifting in and out of character using as many British regional (and social class) accents as possible (Highland, Glaswegian, Mackem, Geordie, Yorkie, Mancunian, Lancastrian, Scouse, Brummie, Cockney, Jafaican, posh, royal, East Anglian, Kentish, Welsh, Ulster, etc.). I'm always so amazed when they are able to spontaneously mimic so many of these—much more than their attempts to mimic accents outside the UK.

    Cheers from Vancouver, Canada

  • Comment number 47.

    In a throwback to your (brilliant) 'ball, ball, ball' song - how about some new football anthems in support of any qualified (or likely to qualify) country for the 2010 World Cup, excluding England.

    So that's a footballing anthem (in the vain of 'Three Lions On a Shirt'), in support of any applicable country OTHER than England.

    Come on, I really want to hear your rousing call to arms for Japan FC!

    [Unsuitable/Broken URL removed by Moderator]

  • Comment number 48.

    A song about the end of summer

  • Comment number 49.

    Hi Adam and Joe,

    I was thinking yesterday, how day to day we don't use many of the legal two letter scrabble words in conversation. That needs to be put right....in song form

    these are the current ones I think...

    aa, ab, ad, ae, ag, ah, ai, al, am, an, ar, as, at, aw, ax, ay, ba, be, bi, bo, by, ch, da, de, di, do, ea, ed, ee, ef, eh, el, em, en, er, es, et, ex, fa, fe, fy, gi, go, gu, ha, he, hi, hm, ho, id, if, in, io, is, it, ja, jo, ka, ki, ko, ky, la, li, lo, ma, me, mi, mm, mo, mu, my, na, ne, no, nu, ny, ob, od, oe, of, oh, oi, om, on, oo, op, or, os, ou, ow, ox, oy, pa, pe, pi, po, qi, re, sh, si, so, st, ta, te, ti, to, ug, uh, um, un, up, ur, us, ut, we, wo, xi, xu, ya, ye, yo, yu, za, zo

    John D.

  • Comment number 50.

    You may of done it already I just don't know.
    But my thoughts were to do a summer song like The Beach Boys, G Love, Donovan Frankenreiter, Mason Jennings or something that reminds of the good times you had that summer so when you hear that song again you think arrr good times. Or not ?

  • Comment number 51.

    What about a song-wars about those useless iPod apps (and the useful ones?) like the iBeer.

  • Comment number 52.

    It occurs to me that Messrs. Buxton and Cornish have created a micro-democracy within this thread. We have the ability to vote, and with a large enough majority they will surely be obliged to submit to our demands, however outrageously demanding they might be.

    That said, I vote for John D. and his legal two-letter scrabble words.

  • Comment number 53.

    hello there!

    your song should be about your vision of a perfect world

    ...a buxton/cornish utopia.


    p.s. Oi you buxton! we'll be at bug so you better watch out. but seriously; we'll be front row; if we bring a canvas along that we made of you 2 fine chappies then you best be willing to sign it's ass! YEAH!

    are there any upcomming events where we could ambush joe. We promise we won't put it on ebay...

    ...unless you die.

  • Comment number 54.

    Hello Adam and Joe and Blog! I've come up with a couple of ideas for Song Wars. First one; how about a couple of Charlie Kaufman style, fourth wall breaking, self reflexive songs all about the process of composing an entry for Song Wars. I've often noticed that when you are unleashing your songs on an expectant world, you will discuss the process that lead to its creation, detailing aborted attempts, complaining about how much of your time it has eaten up during the week or expressing pride and/or dissatisfaction with the outcome. Why not put all that straight into the song? WHY NOT? It'd be a bit like the theme to It's Garry Shandling's Show and that was good, wasn't it! My other idea was a musical preferences face off. Adam could create a wonky Indie Pop number and Joe could go for a Hip Hop/R 'n' B style ditty... and let battle commence! We'd be able to settle once and for all which was the dominant musical genre!

    Andrew Maddern

  • Comment number 55.

    What about a mini hip-hopera song wars week in the stylee of R Kelly's 'in the closet' or whatever it was called? Discussed in a previous (and hilarious) A&J show...

    If both songs could also include a spatula - even better!

    Actually I'd be happy if the songs were just about spatulas...

  • Comment number 56.

    GREAT to have the guys back on the air. My summer fell flat for about 6 -8 weeks! Possible ideas for songwars?

    What about a song about an OCD Sci Fi nerd Street Cleaner who lost him usb stick?

    Love the show!

    Shane, Dublin

  • Comment number 57.

  • Comment number 58.

    Holidaying in the UK to include some of the wonderous attractions we have to offer like errr Cheddar Gorge, the lake district, the Eden Project and Great Yarmouth.

  • Comment number 59.

    David Bowie filmography song e.g. labyrinth, man who fell to earth, illusionist (is that what it's called?)

  • Comment number 60.

    Ok, here's my two cents:

    Adam: Do a song about Joe's unmarried man-about-town existence full of gadgets, star-speckled dinners at the Ivy, frivolity and cat-stroking.

    Joe: A song about Adam's married 'life' in Norwich with loads of kids and what he gets up to with them and what happens in his little studio(shed) and stuff.

  • Comment number 61.

    I've been meaning to send this one in for yonks, but now my suggestion has to compete with hundreds of other really good ones... I recently read the fantastic "First In Space" by James Vining (www.firstinspacecomic.com), about the first chimp to be sent into space and come back alive. Being a bit obsessed as I am with both primates and space, I would love to hear A&J do songs about MONKEYS IN SPACE.

  • Comment number 62.

    I know a few others have talked about David Bowie in their proposed ideas, but last night i had a brain wave, and i had to share my idea with you all...

    I think that you should do a tribute to the great David Bowie. You could do a song about his life to date, or mash some music together that are similar to his songs, going through some of his greatest hits, demonstrating how much his music has changed over the years.
    I think that you could get little snippets of his best or your favourite songs, and sing over the top of the music, with a few lines from a song, but your interpretation.

    This will allow you to demonstrate your uncanny impressions of Mr Bowie, especially yours, Adam; and as you both claim to be "high level Bowie obsessives", this would give you a chance to prove how much of an obsessive you really truly are.

    These songs may even be the thing that pushes you over the edge, and gets you that interview you so badly want. Or, if nothing else, it will give us unbridled enjoyment that all songwars do. Either way, it will be a great songwars, as per usual.

    Thanks, Mark Proctor

    P.S: I had a dream last night, which both of you were involved in. I wont bore you with the details, but it ended with Adam dancing in a strip club, and me and Joe meeting David Bowie outside, as he pulled up on a "zzzkateboard" after doing some "tagging". It was a truly odd dream.

  • Comment number 63.

    How about a sea shanty style song wars in recognition of Joe's pirate mind gap fillers? First time poster but been listening since XFM and that coca cola podcast - thought I'd mention in case this sways your decision, however unlikely that may be. Thanks Chris G - Hertford.

  • Comment number 64.

    I'd like to hear the Boggins Crew construct electro style tunes about dreaming. Maybe the lyrics could talk us through one or more of your most exciting/memorable dreams.

    Hmm, I seem to have said all I want to say, but in comparison to the other messages on here mine looks wretchedly small and insignificant. Perhaps I could add a bunch of unnecessary characters to make it stand out a bit more. I think I'll try this strategy but I'll only do it a bit so I don't look overly nobby. I'll think I'll use some octothorpes:


  • Comment number 65.

    I'd quite like to see/hear a Song Wars in the style of a movie baddie singing about what makes him so bad, in a kind of sad, lamentable, Nick Cave/Lloyd Webber type way. I'm thinking specifically about Adam's impression of Buffalo Bill which always makes me wee myself, so am being purely selfish.

    As an aside, did you notice that guy now stars in Monk, which i also quite like.

    Does Jo do impressions tho? Perhaps he could do a lady baddie as he has a more of a nasal girly tilt and is obviously comfortable as Nurse Tottees! Perhaps that fat old knacker from Misery?

  • Comment number 66.

    Ooh had another idea, how about a school trip based song?

  • Comment number 67.

    How about a eurovision themed song wars ?

    It's great that you're back, although Danny Wallace was a perfect choice for your holiday cover

  • Comment number 68.

    Hi Adam & Joe,
    I had to get up at 5.30am this morning to drive 2 1/2 hours just to sack someone at work and was listening to your podcast on the journey.

    So my song war suggestion is writing a song about being sacked - perhaps one of you can write the song from the point of the sacker and the other the sackee??

    Just a thought!

  • Comment number 69.

    i think you need to do a song wars geared to your deaf listeners. im currently suffering from a weird ear infection and would appreciate it. alternatively, songs for "wing walkers" or those people that do "birdman" competitions of piers. whoever he is. anyway, things that sound ace but are in actual fact a bit of a let down, eg wing walkers do NOT actually wing WALK do they. theyre just strapped on top of the biplane and just wave their arms around abit. birdmen of course turn out not to be actual birdmen, but men with balsa wood wings who are then surprised when they plummet into the ocean and drown. topics like that? what do you reckon?

  • Comment number 70.


    Bowie's in the prestige not the illusionist! DUH!!!! =]

    he's ELECTRO-MAN!

  • Comment number 71.

    How about a song wars written from the perspective of the duo's alter egos: Admiral Cornballs and Count Buckules? (God knows how you spell that word)

  • Comment number 72.

    I really love songs about bones, and i'm fairly convinced that everyone else does too, as bones are both funny and at the same time unavoidably terrifying. if you could both write some songs on this topic, i'm sure it would ease listeners' terror somewhat, and at the same time give us a little chuckle. Failing this, bats or crows. thanks

  • Comment number 73.

    Nature songs. This would give Adam an opportunity to sing about his ticks! (I am assuming that he keeps them as pets now, I know I would :O )I would love to hear a love song and a hate song about Mother Nature's handiwork. I think that it's a pretty broad subject, but this give you CHOICE. See? Clever, ent i! I'm sure that whatever subject you pick, us listeners will get giggly all the same :D


    Black Squadron

  • Comment number 74.

    Wow, all the ideas mentioned are so funny. It looks like David Bowie might be the popular one.

    I'll suggest honouring John Hughes in a Song Wars since we lost him this summer. You guys are so good when you spoof movies...but this time you can be in the style of 80s pop like the Thompson Twins. Not only could you describe the plight of Molly Ringwald in such movies as 16 Candles or Pretty In Pink, but you can delve into the minds of minor characters like Long Duk Dong (which in this case you will have to add a gong) or John Bender in the Breakfast Club....."Eat...My...Shorts!"

    Anyways, I hope you guys aren't finished with singing your names into theme songs for the beginning of the podcast. I miss that so much!

  • Comment number 75.

    Hey Joe, hey Adam (mixed it up a little there)

    How about a Song Wars challenge of trying come up with the most nutty left-field-avant-garde track ever. A track so off the wall that the listeners aren't sure if their digital radio / internet box computer machines are broken or not, and bonus points if you manage to make anyone feel sick by just listening to it. I'm not quite sure if the winner would be the one with the most votes or the least in this case !


  • Comment number 76.

    Another idea here:

    How about some songs in the style of popular musical showstoppers? I'd love to hear Joe's melodrama soaked Les Miserables cover; and Adam's electro take on Starlight Express! Or something else...


  • Comment number 77.

    Do a song wars about hipsters.. :O

  • Comment number 78.

    How about a slasher film/Disney mash-up? So one of you could take the music from psycho and write about Mary Poppins, while the other one takes the music from hallowe'en and writes about bambi.

  • Comment number 79.

    theme of
    so playing sounds backwards, singing backwards a la the radiohead song Spinning Plates and starting with a finish.
    Recording things through headphones (which work as mics!) or just facing backwards to the mic

  • Comment number 80.

    Ooooh oooooh I know! Why not do an Ian Brown FEAR-esque song where each word of the song is made up of the letters in the word FEAR - "For Each A Road For Everyman A Religion" etc. Only you would OBVIOUSLY use the word BOGGINS!...

    Boing Oh God Graham's In Nigel's Shoes!
    Better Off Getting Into Naughty Spoons!

    Tee hee, makes me laugh anyway!

    Love you Byeeeeeee

  • Comment number 81.

    I want ukulele. Im not going to sugar coat it.
    Thinking on Cornballs experience at the spa maybe reflexology against sports massage, body wraps against mud bath. The ultimate fight ! Which treatment will win in an all out fight!?!
    With ukulele. And if possible a meletron.

  • Comment number 82.

    I think a sea shanty would be great. I have no specific themes in mind, I'd just love to hear you do a sea shanty. A little accordion, and so on, perhaps some seagull noises to complete the scene.

  • Comment number 83.

    Remember the old computer game Tetris? How about putting lyrics to the tune (probably something about addictive computer games)? In a punk / lounge / Bowie style.

  • Comment number 84.

    How about songs about public transport? I was really disappointed
    to discover that Iggy Pops song The Passenger was actually about him on heroine and not about him going around, sitting on a bus and looking out of a window. In fact, Iggy pops disappointed me a lot lately.

    Topics you could include within the song: Old people falling over trying to get to their seat before the bus sets off. Chavs sat at the back of the bus playing smurf dance music on their mobiles, and everyone being too scared to tell them to turn it off. Tactics of trying to stop people sitting next to you. Drunk people. screaming kids. Easy!

  • Comment number 85.

    How about a University song war?

    On a random side note, my friend has recently been seeing a girl and when I asked him how things went with the 2 of them the other night he text me back saying "I did the mash, I did the monster mash. It was a graveyard smash"

    Try and incorporate that lyric into your songs! Careful of the copyrighters!


  • Comment number 86.

    Dearest Adam and Joe,
    Just imagine for, a moment, that James Producer has succeeded in making your Christmans wishes come true and that a call has come from New York: Yes, Bowie will see you
    And before you know it, there you are in New York City.
    It's no good just bleeding from the nose and fainting a lot across the fabulously tasteful blend of Louis XV and Mies Van Der Rohe furniture in his Manhattan loft apartment - however flattering that may be in referencing his performance in Man Who Fell To Earth - you're going to have to talk to him.
    Oh lordy! Questions, questions, questions. You're going to have to ask him something ... anything! But what?
    It's no good hoping for inspiration on the day, or just pleading to snuggle in his lap. You've got to nail those questions now - and you must ask them in the form of a song - and what's more they must be songs in the Bowie idiom. And that, my darlings, is your Song Wars commission.
    You asked for rules, so here they are:
    1. The lyrics MUST consist of questions you'd really want to ask or observations you'd wish to make (if you were brave enough)
    2. They HAVE to be sung in a Bowie voice
    3. Musical style MAY NOT be earlier than Ziggy or later than Heroes
    4. You must solemnly undertake to play him the winning song AS A PART OF THE INTERVIEW should you really get to meet him.
    That is all.
    Kathy x

  • Comment number 87.


    I was thinking that maybe the boys should both do a pop song to compete for the king of pop title!

    That is all I have!



  • Comment number 88.

    Re: Iggy Pop and selling out to the man.

    Why dont the Boggins team come up with a pop-star sell-out single, which can showcase your inate comedic savoir-faire and legendary mimicry.

    Bowie sings about cheap car insurance?
    Elton John on the merits of bog-roll
    Alice Cooper selling tellies
    The Ting-Tings pushing dog flea-spray.

  • Comment number 89.

    Hi chaps,

    Star Wars Cantina music is here already - I like that idea.

    How about extending that to a John Williams theme? I remember one of your old podcasts had a wee snippet of John Williams tunes and Joe was filling in words such as "Superper-pooperper Superpooperper-pooperperpooperper" (to Superman theme music) and "Starwars! They're having Starwars!" (to Starwars obviously) and "Indiana Jo-ho-hooones" and so on.

    Half the work already done for you, couldn't be easier.

    Lovely to have you in my earphones again. Kate x

  • Comment number 90.

    This past weekend I was at Greenbelt festival.

    At this particular festival I noticed a huge rise in the amount of bands that beatbox as part of their act. Knowing that you guys like to ride at the crest of the wave of current popular culture, can i suggest that you create a beatbox influenced song wars maybe on a subject such as being trendy?

    Keep up the good work.

    Bye Love you Bye


  • Comment number 91.

    I think they should do something along the lines of R Kellys in the closet.

  • Comment number 92.

    ooo what Spocknotch said...!

    Or uses of a microwave if you're totally stuck...

  • Comment number 93.

    Dear Adam and Joe

    My wife and I have a new baby, Freddie, who likes nothing better than to be sung to as he goes to sleep. We're a bit bored of the usual lullabies and have taken to singing Adam's "Nutty Room" song to him, which, being a natural born Adam and Joe fan, he loves. (I'm not sure what impact that will have on him in later life...)

    How about composing some Boggins-style lullabies or nursery rhymes for us to sing to him?

    Good to have you back on air,

    Love you lots

    Matt and Amelia Knight, London

  • Comment number 94.

    I'm not sure if this has been discussed or even done already, but two old ladies in america make money everytime someone sings happy birthday in a film so how about a new birthday song!

  • Comment number 95.

    Songs about the differences between American English and British English would be really cool.
    It would also help me understand some of the weird things you guys say.

  • Comment number 96.

    Wow. It's all a bit Bowie on here. So here's some more.

    After listening to the podcast on Monday (or Tuesday maybe - I guess that's not important) I then "shuffled" my "pod". Who should turn up but Mr. David Bowie. But not just any Bowie track but a Tin Machine track! Huzzah!

    So my genius idea is for you both to compose songs chronicling your fantasy David Bowie interview, but in the style of Tin Machine. Audio brilliance I'm sure.

    Everyone loves Tin Machine don't they? Don't they?

  • Comment number 97.

    Just me then...

  • Comment number 98.

    "Fantasy Face-Off"
    Hoggle (off Labyrinth) and Dobbie (off Harry Potter) throw insults back and forth about whose master is the bigger ponce - Jareth the Goblin King (off Labyrinth), or Harry Potter (off…Harry Potter).*

    Musical Style:
    Light Opera, a la Gilbert & Sullivan

    *Maybe Adam could do a Hoggle callout song, and Joe a Dobbie response song?

    Either way, it would be great to hear Joe bring out the falsetto lady-opera singer voice again like on the Antiquies Road Show song from last season, that was aces.

    Wurd to de blogahs


  • Comment number 99.

    Shazbat, I wish you could delete posts from here.

    Update of Original Suggestion for clarity (hopefully):

    "Fantasy Face-Off"
    Hoggle (off Labyrinth) and Dobbie (off Harry Potter) throw insults back and forth about whose master is the bigger ponce - Jareth the Goblin King (off Labyrinth), or Harry Potter (off…Harry Potter).

    Musical Style:
    Light Opera, a la Gilbert & Sullivan

    Maybe Adam could take one character, and then Joe the other?

    Either way, it would be great to hear Joe bring out the falsetto lady-opera singer voice again like on the Antiques Road Show song from last season, that was aces.

    Wurd to de blogahs - sorry for reposting, but I do wish one could edit!


  • Comment number 100.

    Drinking songs!

    I'm thinking more of a musical style than a theme: the songs don't necessarily have to be about boozing, they're just songs to sing while you booze.

    You could do hearty sing-along ones that just enhance the drinking experience, cheer you up if alone, etc; or you could do more complicated ones that could be used as the basis of a drinking game.


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