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Warren's Rants #2

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Warren Bell | 14:32 UK time, Friday, 20 February 2009

Stupid Adverts

Now I don't want to sound like Peter Griffin, but do you know what really grinds my gears? Adverts on telly that say ridiculous things without any hint of realising how ridiculous they sound. There are the old classics of course, like ones for cosmetic or laser eye surgery that, after relaying the benefits of their treatment (being able to play tennis, be sexy etc), reassure you that "our procedures are carried out by fully qualified surgeons". Really? I sort of assumed that. If I need any of that stuff doing, I think I'll go with a firm that doesn't feel that having qualified surgeons performing their surgery is one of their main selling points thanks all the same.

Or the ad for InjuryLawyers4U - the Toys'R'Us of the legal world - where the bloke who was a bit nasty in The Bill and Eastenders (and what sort of message is that supposed to convey?) lets you know that the people who will be representing you in your quest for compensation are "real lawyers". He actually says that. He actually says "they're real lawyers". In an advert for a law firm! Have I gone mad? Is there a firm offering to represent people in court proceedings that doesn't employ "real lawyers"? I would guess they're struggling.

The latest is the advert for RAF careers that shows loads of random stuff from civilian workplaces coalescing into a cool looking fighter jet before informing us that "you don't have to be a pilot to fly in the RAF". ARE YOU SERIOUS!!?? WHY NOT? Let's hope for Britain's sake that there's not another major conflict fought in the air then, because I don't reckon that a motley crew of nurses, telephonists and health & safety advisors would be able to emerge victorious.

What next, you don't have to be able to sing, play an instrument or write songs to be a famous and popular musician?

Hmmm? Eh? Oh. I see.

And don't even get me started on Iggy Pop. Dear, oh dear, oh dear.


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