This is the start of a ghost story:
The noisy door opened to reveal a hall. Ben was cold as he went inside, his feet making a noise on the cold tile floor. He softly walked forward, unsure of what he would find.
Upstairs Mr Mallinson stopped - he had heard the first noise, and then the noise as the door opened, but he really didn't think anyone would come inside and spoil his plans. He had to get rid of them as quickly as possible. He went to the top of the stairs and shouted, "Who's there?" in a sharp, angry voice.
Ben's feet stopped, and he quietly said, "It's me, Ben. From next door."
"Sc.. Sc-ott - Ben Scott," he said.
Mr Mallinson went back towards the bedroom and pulled the door shut. He turned the key and then checked the door again. No-one could get in now. He was safe, at least for the time being.
But Ben wasn't. A pair of eyes watched him in the darkness. And they weren't human.
What would be the best way to improve it?