A Christian sex party hostess
By Linda Serck
Emma Sayle runs Killing Kittens, an upmarket and exclusive sex party night with an eye on empowering women. The former West Berkshire school girl explains why her business doesn't contradict her Christian faith.
That Emma Sayle organises elite sex parties might raise a few eyebrows, but that she's also a committed Christian will have all eyebrows lunging sky-high.
A former pupil at the exclusive Downe House school in West Berkshire, Emma is one of the world's leading 'sextrepreneurs'.
The 31-year-old has made her name as the top upmarket adult party organiser and runs a monthly sex party night called Killing Kittens.
Populist myth has it that every time a woman 'sins' by pleasuring herself, God in retribution kills a kitten.
Over time, the term 'killing kittens' has become slang for female masturbation.
Thus, Emma's parties focuses on female empowerment where, for example, men aren't allowed to approach women and only women can make or break the rules.
"It's for couples and girls," says Emma, a pal of Prince William's Bucklebury-born girlfriend Kate Middleton, "it's for good-looking people only, under the age of 45.
"These parties turn into mass orgies - they're big sex parties - and it's a case of 50 per cent of the people that come along do take clothes off, and the other 50 per cent just come along for a good party and keep their clothes on."
Is this the Christian way? Have your say below.
Surely this sort of sexual freedom sits uneasily with 31-year-old Emma's Christian faith? But she heartily disagrees.
"This whole 'I'm a Christian' thing," she says, "the way it's been written about a lot of the time is as if I'm someone happy-clappy who's just done an Alpha course.
"But I've been going to church and Sunday school since I was little. It's a private thing that is just my faith.
"When it comes to religion - and it's not me being defensive - people pick and choose.
"When you look at the bible, people pick and choose which bits they choose to live by and which bits they don't.
"I've had this conversation about sex before marriage a lot and it doesn't actually say once in the bible that you can't have sex before marriage.
"That's just the stigma that's been attached to it. It gets misquoted.
"These are couples who are genuinely together and they choose to do this as a life-style choice within the sanctity of their marriage.
"No one's getting hurt, no one's cheating on anyone. Who am I or you or whoever to say they can't do it?
"I always say: everyone's happy, so what's the big deal?"
Calum Macleod, who's a committed Christian and a former leader of marriage courses across Reading, thinks it is a big deal.
"Where I come from sex equates to marriage," he says, "and my thinking is that the sexual act is such an intimate one, that to do it with somebody within the context of a committed relationship is really only the good place to do it.
"I happen to think that sex is a deeper thing than just adult play."
But Emma thinks that an infrequent dabble into sexual fantasies can't be detrimental to a relationship if that's what the couple opt for.
"This isn't the be all and end all with people doing it every single night," she says.
"Intimacy and commitment and all the bases of a relationship are more important than the pleasure side, but a lot of the couples that come along might only come to the party twice a year."
She stresses that the parties are also about giving women a secure environment in which to explore their sexual desires without the hang-ups a relationship can provide.
"There are so many horrible men out there who are just useless when it comes to having relationships," she says.
"Women are becoming a lot more vocal about their sexual needs, they're a lot more open about what they want and they want to experiment.
"Women are natually bi-curious and that's scientific fact, so they come along and a lot of the time it's girls experimenting with girls."
Calum however believes that this sort of experimentation can do long-term harm.
"We have an ever increasing desire to look into these sorts of sex matters and I don't know where it stops," he says.
"The question I would have for you is: okay, it works right now, but surely there are couples there for whom that sort of party will have a long-term and not a particularly helpful effect, and ditto for the girls.
"If you get close to somebody and then never see them again, it causes hurt that perhaps could've been avoided.
"Doing something in the sort of environment you're describing is a particularly intense and transactional thing that can't be the most helpful."
Emma makes the point that these single girls aren't coming to the parties to find a boyfriend or a relationship.
"It's total empowerment where they can dance around in their underwear," she says.
"We have rules where men can't approach girls. It's all about the girls feeling sexy and feminine.
"Whatever way you look at any party or any situation, there's two ways of looking at things. A lot of these girls come in who haven't got much confidence and they come to a couple of parties, they feel sexy."
last updated: 27/07/2009 at 11:15
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Caroline - Reading
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