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13 November 2014

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You are in: Berkshire > Faith > A Christian sex party hostess

Emma Sayle

Emma Sayle

A Christian sex party hostess

Emma Sayle runs Killing Kittens, an upmarket and exclusive sex party night with an eye on empowering women. The former West Berkshire school girl explains why her business doesn't contradict her Christian faith.

That Emma Sayle organises elite sex parties might raise a few eyebrows, but that she's also a committed Christian will have all eyebrows lunging sky-high.

"I've had this conversation about sex before marriage a lot and it doesn't actually say once in the bible that you can't have sex before marriage."

Emma Sayle

A former pupil at the exclusive Downe House school in West Berkshire, Emma is one of the world's leading 'sextrepreneurs'.

The 31-year-old has made her name as the top upmarket adult party organiser and runs a monthly sex party night called Killing Kittens.

Populist myth has it that every time a woman 'sins' by pleasuring herself, God in retribution kills a kitten.

Over time, the term 'killing kittens' has become slang for female masturbation.

Thus, Emma's parties focuses on female empowerment where, for example, men aren't allowed to approach women and only women can make or break the rules.

"It's for couples and girls," says Emma, a pal of Prince William's Bucklebury-born girlfriend Kate Middleton, "it's for good-looking people only, under the age of 45.

"These parties turn into mass orgies - they're big sex parties - and it's a case of 50 per cent of the people that come along do take clothes off, and the other 50 per cent just come along for a good party and keep their clothes on."

Lingerie for sale on the Killing Kittens website

Is this the Christian way? Have your say below.

Surely this sort of sexual freedom sits uneasily with 31-year-old Emma's Christian faith? But she heartily disagrees.

"This whole 'I'm a Christian' thing," she says, "the way it's been written about a lot of the time is as if I'm someone happy-clappy who's just done an Alpha course.

"But I've been going to church and Sunday school since I was little. It's a private thing that is just my faith.

"When it comes to religion - and it's not me being defensive - people pick and choose.

"When you look at the bible, people pick and choose which bits they choose to live by and which bits they don't.

"I've had this conversation about sex before marriage a lot and it doesn't actually say once in the bible that you can't have sex before marriage.

"That's just the stigma that's been attached to it. It gets misquoted.

"These are couples who are genuinely together and they choose to do this as a life-style choice within the sanctity of their marriage.

"No one's getting hurt, no one's cheating on anyone. Who am I or you or whoever to say they can't do it?

"I always say: everyone's happy, so what's the big deal?"

Calum Macleod, who's a committed Christian and a former leader of marriage courses across Reading, thinks it is a big deal.

"Where I come from sex equates to marriage," he says, "and my thinking is that the sexual act is such an intimate one, that to do it with somebody within the context of a committed relationship is really only the good place to do it.

"I happen to think that sex is a deeper thing than just adult play."

But Emma thinks that an infrequent dabble into sexual fantasies can't be detrimental to a relationship if that's what the couple opt for.

"This isn't the be all and end all with people doing it every single night," she says.

"Intimacy and commitment and all the bases of a relationship are more important than the pleasure side, but a lot of the couples that come along might only come to the party twice a year."

She stresses that the parties are also about giving women a secure environment in which to explore their sexual desires without the hang-ups a relationship can provide.

"There are so many horrible men out there who are just useless when it comes to having relationships," she says.

"Women are becoming a lot more vocal about their sexual needs, they're a lot more open about what they want and they want to experiment.

"Women are natually bi-curious and that's scientific fact, so they come along and a lot of the time it's girls experimenting with girls."

Calum however believes that this sort of experimentation can do long-term harm.

"We have an ever increasing desire to look into these sorts of sex matters and I don't know where it stops," he says.

"The question I would have for you is: okay, it works right now, but surely there are couples there for whom that sort of party will have a long-term and not a particularly helpful effect, and ditto for the girls.

"If you get close to somebody and then never see them again, it causes hurt that perhaps could've been avoided.

"Doing something in the sort of environment you're describing is a particularly intense and transactional thing that can't be the most helpful."

Emma makes the point that these single girls aren't coming to the parties to find a boyfriend or a relationship.

"It's total empowerment where they can dance around in their underwear," she says.

"We have rules where men can't approach girls. It's all about the girls feeling sexy and feminine.

"Whatever way you look at any party or any situation, there's two ways of looking at things. A lot of these girls come in who haven't got much confidence and they come to a couple of parties, they feel sexy."

last updated: 27/07/2009 at 11:15
created: 27/07/2009

Have Your Say

What's your view? Send in your comments here.

The BBC reserves the right to edit comments submitted.

Caroline - Reading
Devil woman springs to mind!

John
That's disgusting

tim
it may not explicitly say no sex before marriage, but that is partly because it was assumed (due to the large number of rules about sexual behavious) and more importantly because during many parts of the old testiment once you had had sex you were considered married. It takes a very skewed reading of the bible to assume that this kind of behaviour is ok. Apart from all the rules in the old testiment Jesus in the gospels talks a large amount about sexual immorality .Furthermore the apostle Paul talks very clearly about the problems of this kind of sexual behaviour (including 'orgies') some of the cities he wrote to were well known for it, and he specifically told the church to be different from those values. It is people like this who twist one couple of words somewhere in the bible and take them out of context (or even a translation that is simply wrong) that make modern day christianity sound so woolen 'it doesnt matter what you do because God has died for your sin' and forget anything about dying to your body and living for Christ.

robert fowler
an interesting guest.Surely a first for Radio berkshire,Someone who wishes to take part in a specialised radio discussion and then does not want to talk about the very subject the program is all about.She did not want to talk about her personal belief system or faith as she considered it private and personal.Neither was she prepared to discuss Faith, religeon or Christianity in more general terms.She was however more than willing to hi jack the show to promote her sex "business" and publicise some of the strangest ideas.Clare, we were dupped.But she made me laugh lets hve her back on.

Miranda
Is Emma Sayle hoping that the religious approach to her business will justify it and ensure that the invite, coutesy of the Middletons, drops through her letterbox? Or is she going to be erased out of the picture, like other people who aren't deemed suitable to be associated with?

John
I wonder what the 'Head Of The Church Of England'-Prince William's Grandmother, thinks about Emma Sayle's musings and thesis on religion with regards Ms. Sayle's sex-business and its justification ....?. Especially as Emma Sayle is a friend of her grandson's prospective wife Kate Middleton. Or is this yet another 'friend' who will be dropped from the 'Middleton Radar' to ensure the desired outcome?

Noelle
This woman is delusional.....and seems to be a "Sunday" Christian as well; only preaches and "practices" her "faith" when it suits her.

Lynn
Guess she skipped the Sunday school class on Sodom and Gomorrah?

Dennis
That is a wonderful career for this women, but, I thought it was not acceptable in the Faith Department...

Robert
Phwoooooaaar!

Francesgar
The justification for this lifestyle does not and should not be laid at the door of Christianity. Why is Emma Sayle,, a 'pal' of Kate Middleton, suddenly promoting the spiritual side of her life? Thus applying it to her business acumen. The business of running sexual orgies involving consenting adults is nothing more than a loophole she has found. Taking the bible and disecting it to find where it says you cannot have sex before a marriage is a desperate measure to gain respectability for herself. A lovely person to be 'pals' with. No doubt her friends think it is all an absolute 'hoot'......

qball
wow Kate Middleton hangs out with the most classless people.wonder if she learned a thing or two from miss killing kittens

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