Faith

The death of Ivan Cameron, the disabled son of Conservative leader David Cameron, this week, came as a shock to many.

The Camerons after Ivan's death

But one Reading father understood all too well what the Camerons were going through.

Chris Manning's disabled son James Manning, died on February 10, 2009, aged just 18.

 James passed away at Naomi House, where he had spent many happy visits over the previous nine years.

Chris talked to BBC Berkshire's Clare Catford about how he  trying to come to terms with James' death.

He said: "It's obviously been a difficult period for us.

"Like the Camerons it came out of the blue. James wasn't very well for a few days. He had a chest infection, he'd had those in the past, but it didn't seem to get any better.

"This hit us for six because he didn't get any better, he got progressively worse and we lost him on February 10. We're still trying to come to terms with that really."

Chris described his joyous memories of his son, who had an engaging grin, a shock of red hair and a way of forging bonds with complete strangers, even though he could not speak.

He said: "James had a massive smile. He was our happy chappy.

"He'd use the smile to engage people. He'd scan the room to see if someone was around, whether it was at school or in respite or at a hospice, he'd just scan the room he'd try and get someone's attention just by looking around with a beaming smile.

"How could you go to up someone with a beaming smile and not smile back?

"The face told it all. People would just go up to him and start holding his hand or stroking his shoulder and talking to him."

Naomi House Children's Hospice

Chris said he thought his son had enjoyed life.

He said: "James was very happy, very responsive to people.

"He didn't communicate by talking, but you could see on his very expressive his face that he was enjoying life. You could also tell from his face when he wasn't feeling very well or when he was fed up with something."

One of the reasons the Berkshire hospice Naomi House had been so important to the Manning family was because staff had come to know James and had learned to communicate with him.

Chris said that this was a great comfort to him and his family. They were able to leave him at Naomi House knowing that he would be well looked after.

The hospice also proved invaluable during James' final days, allowing the family time to reflect and plan for the future rather than be overwhelmed with the day-to-day duties of cooking meals, answering phone-calls and organising the funeral.

Chris said: "We only had 18 years of James but we were blessed. He wasn't expected to live anywhere near that length of time. 

"He was seriously ill, but he would still go through life with a smile. That's what we remember - that mass of red hair, shocking red hair.

"We celebrated his life at the funeral. It was a fantastic church service and the smile and the happiness and the lift he gave to people he was with was the thing we remember most about him.

"We have gone into cope mode. You're grieving, you cry, then you have days where the adrenaline kicks in and you've got things to organise and you cope and get on.

"But we've got to the stage of 'What's normal life for us now? We've been carers for 18 years and there's a feeling of purpose that goes with that.

"We're at the very early raw stage of grief."