Read what others have said..

Mizan Lpool
I am not surprised by any report on sexual health re the South Asian Community. These days, it is not uncommon to have bf or gf. I know a packistani girl who is 18 and has 4 bf's. And she thinks it's ok. I also knew another girl who was 16, and has slept with over 20 guys. different guys every week. This goes for the guys as well by the way, and i am not blaming girls. I just feel, Muslims do not think twice about their actions, specially when they go away for uni. One thing i know, my kids wont be going away to uni, we have a local uni, he or she can go there, as i know what children get up to once they are living away. Smoking cannabis, doing drugs and sleeping round.

Sana, London
well ive wont comment on any of the things other ppl have said nor will I repeat them. The most important thing is safety! Because you owe it to yourself and your partner. If you are sexually active you should take a test twice a yr, I do myself. Imagine you have something and you give to nr.1, 2,3 etc and they give it further to someone else, is that fair?Get yourself tested regularly and ask your partner to do it as well and be open about it in a relationship, no matter how difficult it is. 'safe sex live long'

Jay - Bedford
It is natural after a certian age for thier children to want a partner and want sex. So in many cases they find a partner themselves because thier parents are putting off any marital ideas as educaton comes first to them. This is the problem because when children try and find a partner themselves they can make mistakes, in many cases the relationships dont last and they have already had sex. Parents need to understand this is a problem and education and marriage can be both done at an early age marriage or relationships shouldnt be delayed. Parents should consider this because if they dont children wil find a partner anyway, and come accross sex. So it is time that aprents communicate more with thier children and thier needs from an early age no matter what background they are from.

Jay - Bedford
Each religion stems from the one way of spiritualism. Nearly all religions have said sex should be done after marriage. The problem with first generation indians is they found it very hard when they came to the UK and worked hard to make something of themselves. So they want thier children to be well educated, therefore in many cases they postpone marriage until they have a degree. Most of the parents used to get married at a young age so they did not have to stick to strict rules of no sex before marriage as long as they want thier children too now, so they dont understand how hard it maybe in this day and age.

az london
i tink dat parents are to blame aswell becoz they tink dat sex is a nasty subject to talk to your children about i am an asian gyal of 19 i have no shame in teacxhing sexual health i do presentations and everyting and there is also a lot of pressure on young people to be a NON VIRGIN dat people seem to forget thier culture NO SEX BEFORE MARRIAGE

sikh7
I lived out in birmingham at uni for 3 yrs n there were at least 50 occassions that i could have had sex but i resisted, dont get me wrong i bloody wanted it bad, but i did resist. theres so much evil in this day n age n even if ur innately a good person, sex drugs n alcohol will eventually turn ur whole personality around n ull become one with that darkess, why do u think asian girls are such haters n bitchy n walk around with screwed up looks on their faces, not to mention ugly. The majority of our sikh generation is weak and a shocking dissapointment to our ancestors who sacrificed their lives and childrens heads which were cut in pieces and strung around their mothers necks for religion. sikhs fix up, get together n pray cos the sangats missing its children who are turning into alchies crackheads n whores. remember theres still life after death, b smart in this world n ull be in eternal peace in the next one.

Heera
This issue does not only affect teenagers, but also the over 25's and young married couples where one partner may be sexually active with many others.... Many an asian male will have the wife at home and a bit on the side.....and I'm sure women are also findig it very difficult to commit to one man....

Max from Milton Keynes with Love
Like I have stated elsewhere people are having sex for a while. In anycase I am glad that Asians are as well. Funny thing is I may not be stating this if I had a daughter. Humans are of only 2 species that have sex for fun and self fulfilment. Seriously, sex between youngsters I think is old hat. I do not think it warrants a big issue. If it were more open then people would be exploring conception with openly. Rather have the freedom to chose what you'd like to do rather than have it hidden without support and increased risk. Max

p&s,brentford
in a way, were not shocked bout this...coz we knew this was cuming our way. i knw a few people hu hav unprotected sex and then ask 4 abortions the dat after. i even know asian gyals hu hav lost their virginity as yung as 14 and they dont find it tru to themselves becoz deyve lied or even dun it wid a muslim bloke. they feel guilty and iy affects them becoz they knew deyve made a mistake. were both still pure and proud coz were w8in 4 da ryt tym. fair enuf 2 dese people at da tym dey 4t it was ryt.. but trus mi deyve regreeted it and we dont want dat to happen 2 us. even dou our parents dont talk 2 us bout it, we ask to know bout it from skul or other relatives so that we dont make a mistake and be careful wen we do decide to do it.

tam, birmingham
i think your report concerning sex in young asians today is very good because it hits the issue hard..the statistics did shock me though.i have been to the brook with friends but never saw any asians there apart from some boys but the stats are scarey

BAINS, birmingham
nahhhhh in my school they dont stop going on about unprotected sex n all dat! i think that it depends whether you take in all the info n dat...i mean ders alot of advertisment n publicity about safe sex and that, so i dont see how kids my age aren't bein informed.

Anushka, London
Brit Asian 2 - I agree with you. When girls move out for uni, they think its ok for them to do whatever they want. It's wrong and they will only realise when they hit the age of 25. Im in my final year of uni and i didnt live out for the three yrs.I wanted to. But I am SOOOOO glad my parents taught me more than others.The younger generation dont realise the value of their parents....they will wen its too late.

Kalpana, London
As a 2nd gen and parent to a 3rd gen Brit Asian, I am well aware of the pitfalls and perils of sex outside of marriage, following the breakdown of my own arranged marriage at a young age. I now live with my non-asian partner and my parents are very supportive, but it has been hard for them and the community can sometimes be difficult. However, I dont want my son to make the mistakes I read about and so despite my own embaressment I do talk to him about sexual health (he is 12) and hope by talking to him openly he will look after himself and ensure that he understands that sex and responsibilty go hand in hand. Its not me being trendy and its not desi, but he is my only child and I dont care what people think, I just want him to be safe. If that means talking about contraception, HIV/AIDS, terminations, absitnance and above all respect and values for your own body, then I am there. Afterall its mainly because many parents arnt open with their kids, that the kids feel they cant o to them in times of need.

Mark Gibbens, Sheffield
"Download Anita Rani's Asian Network Report in which she reports on the sex lives of young Asians" Hmmmm.... intelligent advertising ;) Trying to attract a classy audience, I guess

jack sparrow ...cov
Its really sad,you hear young asian under age 16 havin sex too,Even when you go out in clubs you see young asains girls Just out to pull,Don,t they think abt aids etc...People can,t blame the perants abt not talkin abt sex...I,m asian and my perants did,nt tell me abt sex but it did,nt mean that i did,nt know abt aids and the illness you get if you have unprotected sex..... its all rubbish ...!You see More asians going to universitys and thats where they meet new people,Universitys give out free condoms too...Young people Know whats right or wrong,You can,t blame religion!Come on..teenagers this this now whats right and wrong..

H Desai, Birmingham
I don’t know what I find more deplorable, the media who report on such inane subject matters, or those who respond with complete ignorance and no concept of reality! This article leaves me cold for all the wrong reasons. If it was intended to shock the Asian community and indeed the world, it didn’t achieve its objective! Nothing new was reported here, in fact, haven’t we been talking about unprotected sex and teenage pregnancies for the last ten years? Oh yes, the new angle is the geographical origin of those being caught with either a bun in the oven or some god forsaken STD. Asians are no more or less likely to have sex and why should they be? The dictionary definition for British Asians (oh, how I love that term) should be under ‘H’ for hypocrites. Stop blaming western influences for everything! I’m sick and tired of the constant snipes about western influences on poor meek Asian lambs, who obviously have no choice but to conform. Those who confuse roots and tradition with common sense and basic human morality need to get some clarity on the matter.

Kaz, London
Everything in the report is true. I mysef have experienced practically everything in it. Now I'm in a loving, meaningful relationship and I need to tell my parents but my parents will always be too narrowminded to accept my boyfriend.

Khan - California
Intrigued by the prospect of potential insight into the driving forces behind sexual issues facing the UK Asian community I was sorely disappointed by this vacuous report. Essentially re-hashed drivel- I have to believe the esteemed BBC can produce more than old and exhaustively dicussed ideas for yet another serving. Anita Raj is boring, uninspring and just plain dull!. She gave us no more insight than we cold have gotten by picking up a cheap UK tabloid for 50 pence. Come on, lady Asians are trapped by their culture?? Asians are breaking away out of rebellion?? Asians are then trapping themslevs? Wow, isn't this new. This report and the very very weak reporter behind it is a clear example as to why the world will be led into the next generation of investigative reporting by the USA where at least we accept the obvious and search for the defining arguments that drive the dynamics of society as opposed to rehash - please dump her and lets get a real debate going where we leave a report like this a little sacred, a little disturbed but very informed!!! I think it is clear the BBC has lost its innovative edge.

shaz london
this has been going on for many generations. It is nothing new, it is made i big issue as more people know about this now. if you look in to this furthur, back home eg native countries, is has been going on for some time but nobody nows this as it is all kept behind closed doors. It is more talked about in the uk as we are allowed to... At the end of the day, none of us are stupid, we were all tought the do's and dont's about sex in school. The matter has been musch talked about in the media and through education, it is now your own responsability and you cant blame religion or society fot not knowing about the diseases. This is about sex education and you dont need your parents to tell you, you are educated throuhout schools, college and uni and your freiends and doctors etc.. sex being a taboo in asian culture is another topic altogether. Take resbonsability for your own actions, dont be a hypocrit , after all this is the UK not back home!!!

Soraya
And as for that "white british" guys comment how ignorant can you get. that guy needs to get his facts right there many religions sikh, hindu etc. It's ignorant pigs like that, that create conflict in this country.

Soraya
well basically I think both the younger and older generation of Asians are to blame because at home we are not told about sexual education and feel that we cannot turn to them for any advice, which then have to consult our friends - who obviously dont know much themselves. Plus its that compulsery need to do what you have been told not to do. However the younger generation are taught about safe sex at school, so they are aware of risks involved when having sex without a condom. It all comes down to the pig-headed and arrogance of young asians. Another factor that plays a part of this problem is peer pressure on both the girls part and the boys. It's their need to impress.

????? Peterborough
I thought that sex is wrong in every religion before marriage so why do people go against their own religion to just have sex.If people do think that it is wrong so wy do they have have it.The people who do have sex they shame their mother and father, well all their family.S i think that sex is wrong in the first place wll if your not married.

Kash West Yorkshire
No 1 thinks about religion these days, the next geniration is so wound up in the western ways they have forgotern their mothers, fathers and grand parents roots. Sex is just a game to some guys and girls that sleep around with people get infected and either get scared and go to the doctors / sex clinic and calm down for a while until their in the all clear or if they know the ropes of what is going to happen (what the nurse in the clinic is going to do or say) they will carry on until they get AIDS. When you get AIDS how do you tell you're parents you have it??? They will find out 1 day how you got it or some 1 will tell them how the virus spreads. Thank you for reading my say 22 November 2006

Seema, Luton
It's hypocritical some of the postings on being a good muslim and abstaining, otherwise you will go to hell etc. My friends have had sexual relationships with muslims who claim to be religious, myself, with a highly thought of person in a Mosque. The same *married* people who preach abstinance don't complain when they are with us, or booking hotel rooms, or buying us gifts, or when they marry us. This isn't new, the same thing has been going on for generations

Chidi, London
Have we forgotten that lack of responsibility is also a catalyst of this issue? The government, religious leaders, families and individuals all have responsibilities which the mordern society lack nowadays.

Bobby, Berkshire
Okay - Agreed, young Asians having sex before marriage is obviously becoming more commonplace. What I'm not getting is the 'increase of unprotected sex, emergency contraception.. even abortions?. That doesn't necessarily correlate with education/awareness standards amongst young Asians? Or is this more of a problem within certain social groups? I'm very well versed with the older generation's attitude to sex being a first generation Asian myself, but sex education has come along way in the last decade - So what's causing this?

Brit asian 2 - london
What I find particularly amusing is how Asian girls sleep around before they are married, or even try to justify their pre-marital conduct by claiming that they only ever had sex when in a long term relationship (with someone they knew they could not marry!) - to me this is just a feeble excuse and their actions are nothing more than lust. If people think that they can enter into such pre-marital relationships without any consequences when they eventually get married, then they are sadly misguided

British Asian - London
What I find difficult to understand is why people feel the need to get involved in sexual relationships prior to entering into a life long commitment with one person (marriage). Asian parents devote so much time, love and affection in bringing up their children, and increasingly they also appreciate that we have to adopt many of the of values associated with living in a western society - To get this thrown back in their face! I think the fundamental difference between east and west remains that it is not acceptable to enter into relationships before marriage (an explicit feature of many of the major Asian religions) and that mixed religion relationships are still not fully accepted. Whilst I agree that the latter may be out of sync with western culture I do not think that this is adequate justification for pre marital sex. During my time at university I witnessed that when Asians (guys and girls!) were given some freedom (living out etc) they took this as a green card to do whatever they wanted and to totally disrespect their parents who had dedicated so much time in trying to bring them up as respectable adults.

Anushka, London
Great topic to talk about. It's a shame to see what the nxt generation is coming to. Ive seen girls get xcited over a tom,dick and harry. its sick.Its worrying to think wen i get married what my kids will turn out to be. However, it's tru that it needs to be talked about with family. maybe thats y kids r turning out to be like that?but ive seen sooo many girls who are 15/16yrs old and they look like they're 21...no exaggeration.its not just having a sexual r'ship its the fact that they get to a point where they stop listening to parents and have so much attitude.

Sumera, Glasgow
I don't understand why people found this report so shocking or to provide some new insight. Asian boys/girls having premarital unsafe sex isn't a new phenomenon. Particularly in the UK. These things are rife even "back home". And also many of these Asian youngsters aren't in tune with their religion/faith, so to box them into religious categories and then recoil in horror at finding out they have pre-marital sex are mismatched and represent polarised attitudes. For most being Muslim, Sikh or Hindu is just something they were told or brought up with by their parents, they themselves have no REAL "link" with their religion. So overall Asian youngsters will simply adopt the cultural norms/values of their inherited culture. It WILL clash with the norms of their parents/ethnic background, but again that goes back to how "asian" or "religious" they perceive themselves to be in the first place. Its simply a slither of the larger problem of the mismanaged integration, education and community relations of Asians in general. The youth are the result of this mismanagement of all spheres of life.

Don'tCommitZINA
Asians include those of all religions including Muslims, Hindus, Sikhs and Christians. I'd be very curious to know if the Brook Advisory Services has any statistics on the religion of those who are having sex before marriage to see if religion plays a greater impact on a persons views towards sexual activities towards marriage, as opposed to cultural values. For all south Asians, sex before marriage is looked down upon especially by the older generation but in addition, regardless of culture, Islamically it is considered on of the major sins. I would like to hope that this issue is NOT prevalent amongst South Asian Muslims, althouhg I won't count on it because religion seems meaningless to alot of young people these days.

Zafar; USA
The cause of it is that they are the first generation of their kind engaging in such a practice. It has always been highly frowned upon in their households which has led to their ignorance on the topic and in an attempt to be daring and rebellious, they go overboard and may engage in unsafe activities out of sheer negligence.

deb, washington DC
I think this is a VERY IMPORTANT POINT. The parental drama isn't stopping anyone from doing things their parents don't want them to do! It's just not safe to keep things "hush hush" to that degree!

Merchant - NYC
It is an issue. Let's face it, the temptation is there and its not about how strong you or your partner can be. It is about values and lifestyle. Sex'l relationship is as common in Asian sub-continet as it is in UK or US. The need for mature decision making is imperant and discussions as such is really a wrong way as per me. The pessimistic and what's the right thing view expressed can be jading and rebellious for many. Prob for me as well 5 years ago.

Kully, Coventry
I have read all the comments and i feel all people are entitled to their opinions. The growing number of termination of Asian pregnancies is a worry as it may result to problems later in a females life if she was to have children. I have sympathy for women, they're under soo much pressure with religion barriers restricting what they want to do. I feel it is greatly important that females are supported by their partners or if they are having casual sex then women to be responsible for their actions. We live in a world of repression but so called modern society. I used Brooks with my ex girlfriend and i would always appreciate their support. My ex girlfriend used their counselling service and it did help her to a cerain extent but the support outside counselling must be their family, friends and partners. I think women are gaining more respect and freedom which i feel is a great thing it gives them much higher self worth and boost their self esteem. This is what we as a society should provide and to be able to support people and women in particular emotionally.

Faisal, Birmingham
I believe that even though we are muslims that we are also human beings and of course we will make mistakes i.e. have sex before marriage (both boys and girls) but what we need to do is have debates and discussions like this one so we can get it out in the open and express our opinions any one interested in a debate let me know. Personally speaking i am still a virgin and proud although the urge is there i believe if a woman has to stay pure for her husband then it has to be trhe same for the husband to stay pure for the woman!!!

Ron , Birmingham
Me and my friends are thirty something, we normally have a few beers and visit the local brothel on a Friday night ( we are all married ) - Whats the harm in a bit of fun ?

Shan, London
We all human, love sex enjoy sex and make mistakes. Mistakes cost, the cost based on how bad is the mistake.

notts
i think the asines who hav sex the need to think twice abut their familly and relgion cause i think is wrong havin sex or tho still many muslims still do have it they beta not call their self muslims no more

Alistair, Aberdeen
cultural pressures are not just jeopardizing the health and morality of British Asians, but of British people and beyond.

MD, WM
people dont understand why asians live with the values from the past in the world of today. to be honest nither do most asians. its simply a choice. u either get told ur choice or ur free to make ur own. ive made mine, its hard at times, but i kno i can live with it

kay, london
Sex happens ! Instead of treating the problem, pregnancy ect Find the cause. Are asian kids just doing it because everyone else is or is it want the partner/boyfriend wants; And they want to be part of the crowd. Or because its forbidden before marriage. What about self respect for your-self. Approach your parents - they may be old, but have been here long enough to know they have to change with the times. Its 2006 not 1966 and in the UK,it happens in India too. India has moved on.You can tactfully talk to them.Being a virgin is about self respect, self control and your choice & right to say NO. Choose your partner parents will choose to be with you.But you will have your self-respect andof those around you. Be proud of your morals and acheive your goals. We are worth so much more. Asian morals are still worth their weight in gold and its sad we dont realise that untill its too late. Some traditions do need changing, and they will in time. Unprotected sex or just sex with any person can loose you more then you think. Its not all about being an asian but being human. Think before you do it or loose it.Its not love its just lust

Dr.Chinnari, wales
Its is nice to see good response to this issue. Its is always going to be difficult to come to any conclusions in issues like this, i suppose because of huge cultural variation. the older generations are very right in saying that sex before marriage is a sin. But the younger generation who were born and bred here ,i feel it is very cruel to impose the views of older generations on them. Obviously they will adapt to british culture, but i strogly beleive if the parents taught them about our culture, traditional values from a younger age they will understand.

Anon
What alot of people dont realise is that this not something that is new and specific to the UK asian community (its happening in india too). In the past it just was not mentioned and keep as descrete as possible. With more people being open and honest, the opportunity to educate the future and current generations exists.

Dave, University
Shame on the cries of "shame on sex". You may say "you may change your religon as well". In what religon does it say go forth and have casual sex with as many people as possible? It doesn't. However the changing attitdues of the young amongst the muslim community represents the religons transistion into a modern age, no religon can remain timeless and by refusing to adapt muslims are endangering their childrens lives and are refusing to enable them autonomy. A bit hypocritical perhaps of a religon which has resisted any "meddling" by others.

Paul in Liverpool
I believe that too many third generation asians are too eager to distance themselves from their culture and believe the easiest way to achieve this is by having sex with whoever and whenever. I'm a third generation asian myself, who grew up in a predominatly white area and grew up with entirely white western friends. Despite this I have not been corrupted by the easy offerings available. Too many young asiana are forgetting the asian culture is beautiful. Nowadays we have no morals, no respect for our elders or more importantly ourselves. We should remember to cherish our bodies and always respect that this is the most important thing God gave us. Asian girls need to remember to keep their legs closed! Also asian men need to respect the women who do this.

Anisha, leicester
Myself and many of my muslim girl friends have secret relationships which we can not speak to anyone in our family / community about, often outsideside our community, with white or black boyfriends. There seem to be double standards where it's o.k for muslim / asian men to have girlfriends and have sex before marriage, but girls have to do everything in secret.

Sam, North Acton
I am an Asian teen, who is bisexual. I don't dare tell my friends or family about it. I have to keep it all to myself, its very difficult going around living a lie.

Ravi, UK
Being who we are and where we live, leads all of us Young Asians to experience great amounts of pressure to conform and juggle between both cultures. This issue is ageless, its a now and here thing, its been happening for years and its happening in back home also. The only difference is time has progressed and its more and more acceptable to talk about it. Unfortunately, some of us still do find it hard to talk to our parents and vice versa, they try and do what it best for us, and bound us to what they think it right and wrong and its every parents good intention. We can help who we are, where we live and how we feel. The best thing to do it try and be well informed, talk to anyone who will listen and anyone who can help. Life is difficult enough ..

english asian
im asian and ive been with my white boyfriend for 6 years now and yes my parents know. telling them was the worst thing i had to do along with 5 months of no contact between us. things are getting better now, i talk to my parents although they refuse to acknowledge my boyfriend at all. still hoping for things between my boyfriend and my parents to resolve their differences in the future. believe it or not, im still a virgin and proud to be. i respect myself and even though i don't believe i belong to any religion (after being brought up a hindu), i still have great respect in myself, my body and my understanding and respect for sex. my boyfriend has never forced me into anything and his understanding in me has made our relationship stronger.

MIke, Birkenhead
Good to see this subject out in the open, but I have to say some of the comments here are extremely arrogant. I don't think anyone suggests that integration into British society means a loss of sexual morals. This moral high ground adopted would make me believe that they have come from countries where everyone stays a virgin until they get married. My feeling is that most of these issues affect the countries where people have emigrated from perhaps it is brushed under the carpet a whole lot more than here.

Imran , London
i don't think this topic is relevant to all asians. everyone whether asian or not have certain standards. you'll find that many people from different backgrounds agree that sex or should i say sexual intercourse is something best left till after marriage or in some cases till you meet someone who you know you can settle down with. i like to believe there are fewer cases of asians getting tested for STD'S simply because they refrain from poking around after consumption of alcohol to toxic levels. To be honest i believe society as a whole has lost most of it's morality. And the worst thing of all is they're proud about it (sex)! for God's Sake! what is there to be proud about? we all know what it is...By the way , in this day and age especially in britian, by the time your 18, you already know what's safe sex.whether you practice it or not is your choice. culture has nothing to do with it. If your cultural.. it's a good thing ...your unique! shabash!

Dinkum, London
Sex is a natural and beautiful thing and the more informed the better. I have problems when people take judgemental positions based on stone age cultural or religious bigotry

gugil, london
I am a British Asian and am happily married to a wonderful white woman. My parents have always been supportive in all aspects of my life. It all comes down to trust and honesty. Most Asians are living in fear of their parents which is very sad indeed

Dinkum, London
Sex is a natural and beautiful thing and the more informed the better. I have problems when people take judgemental positions based on stone age cultural or religious bigotry

Raj London
Does it really matter what your ethnicity is? Safe sex should be practiced by all!!!

Lashiv Brixton
Well if you look at recent Asian films they are also becoming more western and Sexualised. So may be this just reflects a natural development of culture...india may experience these problems very soon too! Also it's not just an 'asian' problem but a British problem. Birmingham or the area the clinic is in probably has a higher percentage of asians.

Lewis, Hull
I understand the problems of un-protected sex but i dont see what race, color or religion has to do with it. Sex is one of those things that binds us all together, a common ground for humanity. Im white British, and i know it would be wrong and would be my fault, no one elses if i had un-protected sex.

Essexmuslim, essex
At the end of the day sex is everywhere, its on the streets, its on tvs, its in magazines its even at work (if you lucky like me and have gorgeous girls surrounding you all day), even sport is considered sexy to play (rugby, football and more recently, golf and cricket). Its not surprising the number of asians having sex and the figures do not come as a surprise. Maybe if you are 50 and have kids you will start to realise that no one is going to be gagged from sex education. i think its a sign of the times that more people are willing to try and find out what sex is about. Im no angel, ive had sexual partners but none of them have been asian, its not through a lack of trying its just the way it is.

Anon, London
I think our parents are doing us a real disservice by not acknowledging the issues of today. As a result the pressures placed upon us could be leading us to make bad decisions which lead to a whole manner of problems. The issues of pre-marital sex are not unique to Britain either, I have cousins in India who describe the situation in India and it is very similar, it's actually representative of the times we are living in. I do struggle as a twenty something female with the conflict between pleasing our parents, those we love and trying to live our own truthful and meaningful life. Does anyone know of any support groups for folk like us?

Anony, London
Oh come on guys, open you eyes. Us 'Youthanasians' have been having sex for years. I am post uni and have been for 12 years and me and my uni friends are no different to the generation now. Back then we were just too frightened/embarrased to go the planning clinic and would send our 'other' friends to do the deed and get the MAP. The isue is 'unprotected' sex, not sex generally. If this generation think that the heat of the moment is acceptable without protection, dont bother. Carry that condom for protection, if you get caught by your parents after it slips out of your wallet, tough. If you dont want to go through that, dont do it. You need to grow up and smell the latex ! Also says to me that more one night stands are happening, not nice and not clever. For us asians, alcohol has become a big factor too. Out of sight of parents, out of mind of problems. No the correct mind set to have.

Mohammed, Birmingham
If you're a muslim and you think sex before marriage is acceptable either change religion or at the very least do not claim to be a muslim. If you and your husband/wife are virgins on the day you get married, you won't have any diseases and you will probably will also have a long lasting marriage. I can't speak for Hindus or Sikhs because I haven't read much about their religion, but I am guessing that neitehr of those religions encourages sex before marriage either. If that is the case then the sorry thing, well at least for me, is that the current bunch are losing a grip of their faith. We can't do much about girls and boys who sleep around before marriage, but what we can do is try to warn them of the afterlife (hell) consequences. I repeat if you think sex before marriage is acceptable in any shape please don't claim to be a muslim.

Sherry, London
I am purely Asian studying in London. What I find is that there are many Asians who have supressed by their conservative cultures in their countries and who find something called "liberty" or "freedom". Although many of those Asian students will go back their countries after their degrees in UK, they just enjoy their lives there and then after going back to their country, marry with somebody without saying their "experience" in London. This might happen because of the cultural difference in terms of how to view love and family and they feel they are "cool" to behave the way many Britons seems doing.

mm
I may have misinterpreted the Sex, Lies and Culture report but there is one thing I would like to highlight culture and religion are not the same thing. Please do not use cultural reasoning (i.e. its feels so natural) to justify something that is forbidden in your specific religion. Religion and culture are two separate entities and cannot be regarded as the same. Religion is the divine word of God and culture is man-made. The choice of following your religion is yours; however, Asians having unprotected sex is due to ill education or sheer stupidity on their behalf. Excuses can be made for not having protection and having sex e.g. can’t hide contraception as my mum may find it, rubbish! If you can sneak off and have sex without anyone knowing then surely you can hide some condoms or a few pills. Or is it the case that your intelligent enough to have sex but not intelligent enough to use contraception. You can use whatever reasoning to make even the stupidest of things sound ‘intelligent’ just for it to make sense to you.

kabir @ shine television
I am currently working on a new BBCthree series that focuses on opening up routes of communication between young adults (16-20) and there parents in regards to sex and relationships. Although we have had a great response from around the country we have had very little response from people of ethnic back grounds. I feel this is a shame as there are many issues that could be talk about with the help our expert, not just the relationship between parents and child but also culturally problems that come up when talking about these things. Our expert will be able to offer advice and help both parents and children improve their relationships. If this is something you feel you and your family would benefit from please call the 0871 210 88 74.

Phil, Luton
Holding true to morals and beliefs is fine, I'd even go as far as to encourage it, but when these are forced down people's throats to the point where they feel they cannot openly discuss something completely natural because it's deemed taboo something is wrong. If people want to have promiscuous sex they will, it's not something that will be stopped by ignoring it or frowning upon it. And while many feel saying "it's bad" is enough, it isn't. It's no kind of deterant, and it's always better to educate rather than merely denounce so that if somebody does feel the need to do something, at least they can do it as safely as possible and make informed, educated choices.

Dave, Sheffield
As a young white male I am frankly appalled at what some people seem to think of as being British values. Do these people really think that a high rate of teenage pregnancy is either desirable, or a "British value". Let us not forget that, until comparatively recently in Britain, sex before marriage was severely frowned upon. The fact that people attitudes have changed somewhat has led to some unfortunate consequences, but these are categorically not what it means to be British. They are problems that need to be addressed, not something that should be aspired to so as to better integrate with the wider community. Such a notion is quite honestly ludicrous, not to mention extremely insulting to real "British citizens". Integrating into British life means doing things the right way for this country. That means you obey the laws of the land, not your religion. You should want to be here, or not be here at all. You should be able to speak the language properly and not try and recreate your homeland in this country, however much you miss it. If you have come here for a better life then please do not try to turn it in to another version of your home country.

Dazza, West Bromwich
Values need to be put into children whether it is male or female. People are like sheep, just following society and what others are doing. What we need is good role models who keep their virginity before marriage and resist temptation. Read the quote from bible: - Guarding your affections when relating to boys is very vital in keeping yourself pure. It is wise to guard your heart and save your affections for the man who will be your husband; the one who will remain committed to protect, cherish, and nurture you for your entire life. Isn't that worth holding out for? It's never worth it to experiment or play around with love. It could leave long lasting emotional scars, which may interfere with future relationships. Save yourself, spirit, soul, and body, for the real thing; the one God has planned for you.

A White British
Why on earth is there a forum for Asians like this after all you are now supposed to be British, you want the best of both worlds and the freedom to think that you can live in both the UK and Pakistan - why ? White British do not have this pleasure, we are stuck in the UK only as you will not allow us to live in Pakistan - we left there, but when are you going to leave the UK! We are not interested in your sexual habits as anything special, you should be just part of the UK, nothing special, this extension of BBC completely unnecessary, a liberal lefty vision of the UK under New Labour which will all change within a few years time under Cameron.

BritishAsian, Leicester
Through university I visited sexual health clinics (with my girlfriend at the time) in three different areas of the UK. Staff at each clinic were always polite, helpful and gave excellent guidance. Furthermore, on the one occassion our contraception failed they were compassionate and never judged us, making the visit more relaxing at an already stressful time. This is my chance to say Thank You to all the sexual health clinics and to encourage other Asians (whatever your background) to use them for the support and guidance they are there for (whether you are sexually active or simply plan to be).

Gurdeep London
This is not a shock to me as there are still parents in today society who dont know how to handle these situations. Therefore this makes the child take risks which they shouldnt take. Asian live in the live in this country so therefore will be in contact with different individual and also be attrachted and also want to experiment with sex. But they need to do it safely. Come on we need to educate not just asian children, children in general they need to repect themseleves and others.

Aftab
its a shame asians have lost there roots, furthermore its a shame muslims have taken this root, sex before marriage is not allowed as many muslims know, it doesnt make it ok just because your living in britain. stick to your roots and beliefs instead of sheep nd following the herd.

Muslim-Asian
Hey, if someone other then muslims wants to have sex, go ahead do it,No problems! but muslims, you too can go ahead and have pre-marital sex, just dont 4get God's watching and what will be in store for you when you die??? Its all about how much you believe in your faith and if you are a true muslim...that simple!! Temptations are there in every aspect of life, but that doesnt mean its alright to rob a bank to get rich? Get the point.... want sex? cant hold your hormones? Get married?? save your self from hell fire and maintain your families respect

Asian Spinster
Even in the ideal world, where all sexual relationships are married and faithful, sex education would still be important. Not everyone wants to have children straight after getting married. Some people have children and don't want to have more. Some people are married to partners who have a history and may be carrying 'reminders'. Some people's partners leave them or die. Some illnesses are transmitted sexually but not necessarily caught this way. Who are we helping if we assume that only the promiscious need information about sexual health?

Ali in London
I think it is the business of individuals to govern the way in which they go about their lives. If they choose to have sexual relations then it is their choice. They should be aware of the consequences and practice safe sex. As for having parents support you, that is about as likely as the palestinians recieving a just settlement and fair justice from the israelis. This is a fact of asian culture and we should accept it. You cant teach an old dog new tricks.

Justin, Newcastle
I am Asian and I am a christian. I respect the sanctity of marriage and I believe it is a honourable thing to keep yourself for your marriage partner whom you want to spend the whole life with. Unfortunately with the decline of these values in British Society, we have a lot more broken homes and hurting chilren who are taught by some media not to exercise any sort of self control and give yourself to what you feel and without any thought to the consequences. If responsiblity and sanctity of marriage is not given respect, who knows how much money the British Govt will need to invest in maintaining good public service. We have problem here people, we have lots of unparented children, broken families, teenage pregnancies, abortions than ever before... Lets not encourage anymore. Lets stand for the honour of marriage and stability at homes.

AnonIndian, London
Im glad this is being debated and think as a ethnic group we be more open and frank about sex before marriage. TheBhangradr: Silly comment. Having sex with your partner is a choice... moving to Australia wont change a person decision to have sex or not! Muslim: Keep the debate sensible!!!!

Parent, London
I do not understand where all these so called asian/cultural values come from. As far as I know it goes on every where on Indian sub-continent. Same as in your report, it is not talked about. May be it did not happen 4/5 generations ago because every one was married in there teens any way. Therefore it is not new. It is more difficult for girls parents because it is more difficult for them to walk away from the problem. One of the reason, perhaps, parents are unable to discuss with teir childerns is that they have all done it them selves and never told their parents. However, it does not make any easier for the parents, who are educated and do talk to their kids, when their boy or girl bring home the news that they are pregnet or carrying STD. I am sure that is same for English or any other parent. Only few days agow there was same discussion on 909, English parents had exactly the same conserns about their teenagers.

The Accountant, London
Being Asian and now in a mixed- race marriage, I "indulged" but no way could I ever discuss this with my family. And the same goes for my siblings - we all knew about each other but daren't even discuss it amongst ourselves. I think there is the cultural taboo still attached to subjects such as sex but as 2nd/3rd/4th generations of young people grow and relationships do corss races and religions I thinks the taboo will be lifted but I don't think we will ever lose our moral beliefs and standards and hopefully we won't adopt the lax attitude that some cultures have to sex.

Sumon, London
Why do young people need so much sex? Guess the younger generation both Asaians and non-Asians have lesser exciting things to do nowadays apart from having sex. Just use your common sense. You dont need to be educated on the subject!!! If someone indulges in sex and gets into trouble. Well, its their own fault. Learn to take responsibility of your own life before indulging in such activity. If you get pregnant or infected with STDs, you deserve it..

Raj, London
After reading some of these comments, I despair - I really do. Not only do many asians hark to a time of benevolence in some sort of 'golden era' of conservative sexual enlightenment, but they are unwittingly praising a patriarchal cultural system which demonises female sexuality and passes a blind eye to male promiscuity. It is, after all, women whose reputation is tarnished and women who are ostracised from society if they engage in pre-marital sex in places like India or Pakistan (remember that it takes 2 to have sex, at the very least). Seeing that a lot of these posters are women, I find that highly ironic. Sex is much maligned in Asian society, which serves well against the conservative world view of an isolated and poor Eastern village. However, enforcing these views in a place like the UK usually results in dysfunctional relationships, as many arranged marriages I know serve to prove.

Muslim ******
being a muslim.....one not suppose to have a sex before marriage....yeah u can go down and talk to some one to get to know each other.but cant jumpe into bed with him.its wrong.

A Muslim from London
Living in a sex obsessed culture it is impossible to be "not informed about safe sex", its in our face all the time. Anita Rani is trying to make headlines (via cheap stunts) about something thats been going on for centuries. There is nothing new here! She is only encouraging people to have more free sex. If people are so keen to have sex they should get married, remain faithful and not worry about catching diseases instead of listening to media telling us to have sex with whoever comes your way, BUT oh you must wear a condom because that will make it all acceptable and liberal and divine.

lotifa northampton
i totally agree wid muslim u mite as well change ur religion bcuz its forbiddun in islam for such a thing to take plc people hav lost respect instead they sell themselves cheap it shows their tru colour shame on them all

Asif, aston birmingham
I am suprised this subject has taken so long to be brought up. Most asian girls I knew would usually come prepared. I think its not really to do with temptation at all...everyone else is doing it.

beenthere, south london
I find it nauseating when people talk as though parents are to blame when you can;t talk to them. Surely if you didn;t indulge in activities that are making you scared and embarassed to tell your parents the situation would not arise? It is down to the youth to decide what is right and wrong, and no matter what, parents have upheld values to bring you up; so why shouldn't you do the same?old fashioned yes but there are values and reasons why asian society is different and remains so.

28yrVirgin
I am happy to say that I am an Asian british guy, and extremely proud of my Britsh roots, I even support England (vs India)! However, one area I have followed is my RELIGIOUS beliefs which say I should not engage in relationships before marriage. I am engaged now, and whilst there is no longer the same constraint, my fiance and I have decided not to go any further till after we are married.Too many young people today (Asian, British, Latino, everyone) forget that there are probably significant non-religious reasons for chastity, and to all those guys and girls who are engaged in sexual activity, how do you feel when you are basically having to compare yourself to your current partner's exes? I don't think I would want to stand that sort of comparison.

Rupali London
I think the point of this is being missed! Any race/ethnicity will be having sex/ feel pressured to have sex/ etc etc - not just asians - but the problem here is that Asians although they are having sex arent taking the necessary precautions. Whether they have sex before marriage is a choice, but if they are going to have sex before marriage then they need to be educated and do it safely - STDs etc are rife and if untreated will lead to not only one persons life affected but others who they sleep with also. Asians need to be educated about safe sex and STDs and where they can find help - rather than be condemned by their own which i believe makes them more averse to seeking help and advice.

Raj London
Most asians have engaged in sex before marriage, but have do so discreetly. I very much oppose this subject being bought into the media spotlight, and the fact that Anita Rani (an asian) has led this investigation is disappointing. There are many issues in our culture that remain a taboo and these should not be discussed in the public domain.

emily, london
Ah, for pete's sake! Why? Oh Why is Sex so vilified? There's nothing wrong with Sex? and Why should sex before marriage be Bad? Who says this? Why should a "sexual relationship" be bad? Why is Love good and Lust bad? Sex is a wonderous beautiful thing...a gift from heaven we have been given....and the wonderful thing is that we can only experience this wonderous feeling with another human being. Respect, caring for your partner, and honesty and open-ness is the key. Whether you're gonna marry the person or only having a one-night stand. And these days, sex has been de-coupled from having children. So girls & guys: protect yourselves and enjoy this wonderful gift and care and respect your partner.

Anon, London
I am being very faecicious but I would like to point out that I would not like to be called ASIAN. Please address the issues as being from an ethnic origin like Indian, Pakistani or Bangladeshi. Please do not pigeon me into the "Asian" category. This gives out a wrong impression to the general public, who cannot distinguigh between a Pakistani,Indian or any others who are loosely mentioned as ASIAN,whether it is a positive or a negative viewpoint. To turn the cards around, would a Englishman liked to be called European? No, he prefers to be English. I am not being xenophobic just being mindful of when you pigeon hole specific people, that is were the ignorance is lit.

Sam
I think a major factor is young asian woman are worried about taking the pill incase their parents find them. These young people need to be informed about different methods of contraception such as the pill injection.

Ammar, Keighley
How about this? If people weren't having sex outside of marriage with a different partner every other day, then we wouldn't have this problem, would we? Or don't youg asians do morals no more? Promiscuity is going to cause problems, informed or not, you will make your bed and will lie in it. Don't blame parents, though many tims they don't have a clue, believe it or not, they do want what's best for you. You say they don't talk to you about 'this sort of stuff'. Well, have you ever tried talking to them?

Amah
Wow, its fascinating to see or even read the comments that have been made on this subject. Before it was all about making sex a less of a taboo subject and now its all about having sex and telling your family and friends. I WONDER WHAT ITS GOING TO BE NEXT?. Sex is an emotion a bahaviour that is carried out with someone who can be trusted, who one can expect a long term relationship with. And thats why it should not be done with any tom dick and harry that you have met in the club But obviousily in this day and age its all about sex, emotions dont count. This act should only be carried out with your partner and by giving a name to your relationship(marriage), ones sex life does not change. Marriage ties two people together, it always reminds them that they have to be loyal to the one that they are married unless they want to cheat. If you like someone dont just jump in bed with them. Get to know them, then talk to your parents, get married. If you really love someone then i'm sure you can wait, otherwise its just lust. Lust can be brutal. By me saying all this does not change anything, it is purely down to the individuals.

TheBhangradr
Im 3rd generation British Asian I have a modern outlook towards these things But I dont like when these Issues are always in your face if these people are having sexual relations, then good for them. But do we really need to Know about such a thing? I know there are many underlining issues within the issue of British Asians having sex. But It is not peoples fault if they wish to engage in sex

Ranjita Leicester
You really think by mixing into the British society like this you will be more open? Where have those roots & respect gone? Why are people going on about integrating so much? Its upto an individula to do as they please they do not need to be told what to do to mix or be better BRITISH CITIZENS.These 3rd gen Asians do not know nothing.I respect those people who are still virgins. I still am.

Muslim
Shame on all the muslims who say sex before marriage should be allowed. might as well change your religion as well.

TheBhangradr
this just shows what else is wrong with this country doesnt it? No wonder people are moving to Australia etc

anil patel charlotte usa
i am father of 2 sons i always give good advice to my sons what ever you do be carefull enjoy life but do not destroy anybodys life i know time has changed there will be a time that they will be come parents one day sex is not the only thing in life my sons talk to me openly and parents should listen to whatever they have to say makes life better for all. thanks

Matt, Birmingham
my beautiful girlfriend is asian she daren't tell her parents or brothers about me which is sad & difficult, i love her so much i hope she doesn't dump me or marry someone else because of the family. we do have safe sex - we go to the brook they are totally confidential, kind and friendly, know everything about sex and don't judge you.

Sahil, Birmingham
As an Asian who has been to Brook in Birmingham , i found the place welcoming and non-judgemental. They helped me and my partner with our problems and gave us lots of support. I think its about time as a community we understood that there is nothing wrong with sex or sex education. Thankyou Brook !!!!!!!!!!!!!

Nadeem, Manchester
It's good the asian network is covering this topic as i know alot of asian people including girls who have sex but keep it very secretive from family and most friend's. Sex before marraige should not be a taboo subject amongst the asian community because it happen's and people should be there to support and guide each other.

Anon, London
I am 26 year old Asian female and I have been in sexual relationships with my ex's and my current partner who is white. This is also the case with my friends. Friends are the only people who we can talk about sex with, as our parents have never even approached the topic with us as they assume that we are not in sexual relationships. I feel that not being able to be open with your family about such things is difficult as it leads to many lies being told, but this is the way it has to be otherwise they would lose all respect for you. This is a sad sitaution as your family are the people you should be going to for good sound advice, and this is rarely the case for Asians when it concerns relationships whether sexual or not.

kr4zy, Aston, Birmingham
What can you do about this situation, 1 thing about Asian is dat we all have a reputation to cover, when our Asian parents find out what is done we all get married off, especially us girls. Boys can get away with anything. I know its not right 2 have sexual relationship, its just dat we can’t handle the temptation. Accusing the health service is embarrassing for any Asians, and u knw wen sum1 sees you they fink bad of u especially if a non-asian seen us there they'll be lyk' ohh does ur parents knw, wat if dey do, r u allowed to come etc'. lyk i send before its all bout reputation is da community.

Samara
True…. My job involves me working with 17-19 year olds and I see it all the time and hear cases where they are sexually active but too embarrassed to discuss precaution etc. Plus they are in denial that they are having sex. It's a taboo. The girls want to remain a virgin etc….

Sher Singh.
There is pressure for minorities to conform, and this is not a bad thing. To integrate is good, but this does not mean we should lose sight of our better values. In some white British circles, this type of promiscuity is also frowned upon. The UK has the highest teenage pregnancy rate in Europe; perhaps we should be trying to be European? Before we rush head long into conformity, we should take a breath and ask is it really necessary? Would behaving in such a way really make us more western? Would it make us more accepted by the West? My own view is no. In the end, character wins out. No one can really trust someone who lies to those closest to them. There is a difference between being sexually confident, and sexually promiscuous.

Alvarez, Miami
This is not just a British Asian Fenomenom. US Latins have the same problems concerning sex and it is a dangerous trend.

TheBhangradr
we are 2nd and 3rd generation now, people are less conformed, and its just like most of mainstream society. There are mixed relationships do, so a cross over of values. So a sexual relationship might exist there. Its really down to individual morals and beliefs these days. And thats how it should be. Sex is just harder to talk about within British Asian society. Some fear repercussions if found our having sex, especially if its a girl. The family could then say she has tainted their 'honour' for doing this. And what about gay,lesbian couples ?