Overheard at the BBC

...Is Hacker the Dog a puppet or a small child in a suit?...

...I mean sky diving. How can you be better than someone else at falling out of a plane?...

...We need this baby to come TOMORROW...

...Hey Andy, it's Murray...

...There's nothing sexual about my thighs...

...Do you want Slough viagra for breakfast?...

...If you are unattractive you can not lick my can...

...One more unnecessary wee and I'll be ready... (presenter on the way to the studio)

...Nits can't jump, but even if they could, we'd see the little critters on your bald head...

...While I was training the Taliban… (apparently he said Talent Management rather than Taliban but that's not what I heard)

...Can you stop throwing money at me? I feel like a cheap prostitute...

...They're so rubbish, it's like they go out of their way to be crap…

…Is it porcupines that can hum tunes?...

...'Have you got instant messenger on your phone then?''Nah, it would do my tits in.' 'It would take a lot to do your tits in…'

(heard in the Nottingham tv gallery) ...Has anyone seen the plug for the mouse hole?...

...I don't like clip sequences. It's like you're vomiting the morning's news at people...

...I love being [CBBC] Hacker the Dog's publicist...

...The Queen looks like she smells really nice, like ambrosia, but not the custard...

...Person 1: I bought my brother some waterboarding vouchers for his birthday.Person 2: Are you sure you mean waterboarding?...

...Office workaholic to boss: 'Someone dropped a box for Bob (raising voice) VEEEERY LATE FRIDAY EVENING. Where should I leave it?...

...The toilet seat up/down argument has just been taken too far. Removing the entire seat is not a solution!...

...Man 1: Sixty Euros for a princess dress.Man 2: Gutted...

...Did I tell you that I need spectacles?What…..for your eyes?...

...I wouldn't wear yellow socks in Jordan...

…Oh hello, I'm calling from a BBC national radio show. Am I right in thinking that you organise the world gravy wrestling championships?...

...Excuse me, I'm just going to squirt my pesto into the sink...

…I must be the only person who is gutted it's a bank holiday…

...Sounds like there's an electrical fault with the speaker... (heard in Radio 3 lift in the Broadcast Centre)

...I wasn't sexist until I started working on this show...

...I'm following 75% of Busted on Twitter…

...I had a microwaveable fry-up once from Iceland but it was without the toast. What a cop out...

...My pink pants are in my in tray, thanks for asking...

...I think I've accidentally rung Pauline Quirke with my bottom...

...Maybe the elephant could carry the camera kit?... (heard at the NHU)

...I've left my running kit in the pub - I suppose that tells you all you need to know…

...I didn't have a tooth fairy cos I was a boy...

...People will be glad tomorrow when I've got my trousers back on!...

...Producer: Oh I'm dying for a wee.Researcher: I think you do your best work when you are dying for a wee...

(Corridor in NBH) …He's outside, in the normal world...

Email "Ariel Team" with your funniest or strangest earwigs

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