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It's visiting American superstar week on Rock Action this week and, when it comes to generating surreal moments in music journalism, I'm glad to say they didn't disappoint. After all, it's not every Monday morning you get into the office only to be immediately despatched to a swanky hotel by the river where you munch sandwiches in the company of dozens of other journos and wait for A Genuine Legend to call ...


Stevie Wonder Press Conference
Savoy Hotel, London, Nov 7

Press conferences are weird. They only ever really work when someone a) has something big to announce b) all the journalists want to talk to them about the same thing and c) there's someone there to keep a firm grip on things.

The Stevie Wonder press conference has none of those things. What it does have is Paul Gambaccini, who gives Stevie the most obsequious introduction I have ever heard (and - hey! - I saw Parky interview Madonna) and then stares at him like he loves him as the press conference spirals out of all control.

It also has an incredible range of journalists, all of whom have their own agenda to press. The hip-hop hacks want to know what he thinks of Jay-Z (he's in favour). A gentleman from the international press wants to know his thoughts on the war (he's against). The lady from The Guardian asks about the rumours he's having surgery to restore his sight ("It's true," he deadpans. "I'm going to take off these dark glasses, get in my car and drive out of here").

Throughout, Stevie talks a lot about love, occasionally tinkles at his piano, makes a couple more "blind" gags and insists on fielding more questions every time Gambo tries to wrap it up.

All this goes on seemingly for about a week (and he was an hour late) but still fails to uncover anything resembling A Point. Still, our reward for such patience is to see him play a couple of songs at the end. Even the most hard-bitten hacks seem to find this very exciting but to be honest, by then, the only thing I was excited about was the prospect of getting out of there. 
Stevie's new album is called A Time To Love. He's obviously on better deadlines than me.


Green Day DVD Premiere
Vue Leicester Square, London, Nov 7

Things are done rather more efficiently the punk rock way. At first, the prospect of Green Day having a proper, full-on Leicester Square premiere for Bullet In A Bible, the DVD of their Milton Keynes Bowl shows seems ridiculous. Especially when Cameron ruddy Diaz is giving it the full Hollywood glamour routine on the other side of the Square.

But that fails to make allowances for just how far Billie Joe and the boys have come. I first saw them when they were just another scuzzy American punk band on the toilet circuit and have known them since their first bout of platinum stardom. But even the Dookie-era madness is as nothing to this, where the audience of over-excited teenage girls create genuine Greendaymania. Seriously.

The pre-premiere formalities are restrained enough - even if the menu of quails' eggs and champagne isn't exactly punk, and a far cry from my last meeting with them over large doners in a kebab shop after a Weezer show.

It's a sign at how unfazed Billie is by them becoming the biggest rock band on the planet that he not only remembers that chance meeting, but also what I said: "I remember what you said to me when we were in front of the kebab stand; that these could be the biggest punk gigs ever - and I never thought about it before, but it kinda stayed with me for a long time").

And, indeed, there he is later on the big screen being interviewed and saying "Someone told me that these are the biggest punk rock gigs in Britain ever ...". Sadly he doesn't say "My good friend Mark Sutherland of the excellent BBC 6 Music programme The Music Week told me", but - hey! - that bit must have been edited out.

Before the screening though, things get out of hand. I'm sitting near the front on the edge of an aisle with Dan Martin from NME when the band come on to introduce the movie. When they leave, they walk up our aisle and immediately Dan and I have several dozen screaming teenagers standing on our heads and shouting things like "Billie I f***ing love you!!!!" It's like being back working for Smash Hits. Except this time the music's a whole lot better.

Even during the screening (and the DVD looks awesome, by the way, not only capturing Green Day at their kinetic best, but also in incredible detail), the fans dance, clap and sing along like it's an actual gig, while the interview footage is rendered almost inaudible by the screams of "You're sexy!", "We love you!" and even "Mike - you're hot!"

It was never like this down the George Robey. But for once it really couldn't happen to a nicer bunch of guys ...


New Order
Brixton Academy, London, Nov 10

After all that, I need a bit of down-to-earth, slightly shambolic British indie to restore a sense of normality. And what better than a New Order show?

True, since they reformed, the band have developed a worrying reputation for slick in-concert competence, but tonight is a vintage New Order show. That's vintage as in: when they're good, they're utterly brilliant (a mesmeric Temptation, a flawless Blue Monday, a heart-breaking Love Vigilantes) but they also manage to cock a couple of songs right up.

Even though they utterly ruin two of my very favourite New Order songs (True Faith and Bizarre Love Triangle), this is actually rather endearing. As is Barney's enduringly hopeless dancing, which reaches a new low when he starts attempting that sort of skippy breakdancing they do in hip-hop face-off videos.

Some of the crowd afterwards seem to detect a note of finality about the whole thing. I'm not so sure - I don't think I've ever seen Barney look more relaxed on stage - but I do think it's time to give the Joy Division stuff a bit of a rest. For a start, Bernard insists on putting on a Comedy Ian Curtis voice to sing it all but also, as far as I am 'controversially' concerned, it's just Not As Good as some of the New Order stuff they could play instead.

They finish with an admittedly pretty ace She's Lost Control and Barney's parting shot: "New Order Joy Division Forever - get it tattooed on your arse now!"

Er, I would Barney but, unfortunately, I'm running a bit late. It's all Stevie Wonder's fault, honest ...