Wednesday 06 April
More writing with Simon in a really oppressive room at the BBC which was too hot. But the weather outside didn't allow us to open the windows. Somehow we got our creative juices flowing. We had all day, but reached our creative peak around 2pm and packed it in at 2.30. I think the room affected my inner chi. By the time I was eating an Indian with my producer Leona and her partner, I started to come over all queer, and a pre-gig meal (I was supposed to be going to see
The Wedding Present at the Forum in London) turned into a no-gig meal. I retired to bed at 7.30 and slept like a baby. Missed
The Apprentice, my favourite show on telly. I'm fired.
Thursday 07 April
Woke up in a hotel (I was "staying over" in London because of an early start today), fully rested. I won't name the hotel as I am about to cast libellous aspersions on its breakfast: poached eggs and haddock.
What you don't want when you open your poached egg with the knife is for the runny yolk to run out and be suspended in the shallow pool of warm water on your plate. Surely any self-respecting chef would drain the eggs before placing them on the plate? Dab them on kitchen towel even. Nobody likes a watery plate. I moved the individual items around the waterlogged plate and pushed them aside, grateful for the croissant which, as a dairy-intolerant wheat-avoider, I should have been avoiding, intolerantly, but hey, I was in a HOTEL. It was like being on holiday.
Anyway, you'll be relieved to hear I feel much better after my half-a-day's sleep. The sleep of champions. Checked out at 8am and went to work. Thursday is the day we record
The Day The Music Died for Radio 2 (broadcast on a Saturday lunchtime). It is an intense experience of men trying to be funnier than each other. I understand The Wedding Present were brilliant last night.
Friday 08 April
More writing with The Fast Show's Simon Day. This means I have effectively worked EVERY DAY this week. What was that about freedom? My brilliant showbiz career.
The views expressed in this column are the views of Andrew Collins and do not represent the views of the BBC. 
